Kim Possible: Of Riders and Shockers
by Rider V3 Stoppable
Summary: When Kim & Ron run afoul with the Shocker Empire, they're gonna have to rely on a new friend from Japan to get out alive, and save the world again. Originally a crossover story, but recently relocated. Still the same goodness within. Enjoy, read & review, and thanks again. Rated M just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

I'll warn y'all first to start, four points: 1. I'm pretty strong. 2. Kim Possible and all of it's

characters belong to Disney. 3. Yuki Joji, Takeshi Hongo, Hayato Ichimounji, and Tobei

Tachibana are the works of the late, great Ishinomori Shoutarou,

as for The magnificent Hiroshi Tanahashi, He's a real life pro-wrestler

from out of Japan. 4. Aside from a few measley OC's, I don't own anything.

So all you bloodsucking monsters from Disney's legal offices GET OFF

MY BACK, this is a fanfic meant for fun, and if you don't, I'LL RIDER KICK YOU

ALL THE WAY INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION, OR WORSE, THE SUN ITSELF!

With that disclaimer out of the way, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, I know I will.

Domo arigatou gouzaimasu, omaetachi ga rokku no senpuu!

Walt Disney pictures, in association Bandai/Namco productions, Toei films/IshinomoriPro

partnership, and Established Trade and Business Film group, with cooperation from

Alpha Stunts, Koichi Sakamoto, and Steve Wang, presents:

_**Of Riders and Shockers: Kim Possible versus Kamen Rider**_

Starring:

Christy Carlson Romano as Kim Possible

Will Friedle as Ron Stoppable

John DiMaggio as Dr. Andrew (Drakken) Lipsky

Nicole Sullivan as Shego

and featuring:

Martin Billamy as Tobei (Tobey) Tachibana

Nancy Cartwright as Rufus

Marianne Miller Billamy as Viperette

Curtis Arnott as Anacondax

Christopher Niosi as Draculoid

and introducing:

Matt Mullins as Takeshi Hongo

Fight scenes conceptualized by:

Steve Wang and Koichi Sakamoto

Fight choreography by:

Alpha Stunts

Special effects, rendering, and animation by:

Pixar Animation Studios

Music composed by:

Graeme Revell and Shuuhei Narusei

Based on: Kamen Rider, by Ishinomori Shoutarou

Written by: Edward Thurston Becker esquire the first (TeeHee)

Directed by: Steve Wang

Opening theme: Let's go Rider Kick (Animetal version)

_**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**_

_**Huah!**_

_**Semaru, Shocker, Jigoku no gundan.**_

_**Warera wo nerau kuroi kage,**_

_**sekai no heiwa wo mamoru tame.**_

_**Go, go, let's go, kagayaku machine.**_

_**Rider, jump, Rider, kick!**_

_**Kamen Rider, Kamen Rider,**_

_**Rider, Rider!**_

_** Chapter one: The Heroes**_

It was the beginning of the summer when we last

left Team Possible, and they were busy prepairing

for college. You know the old conundrums, wether

or not you've been accepted, what college to go to,

deciding on a career. Basically utter chaos, which

is normal everyday life for Kim Possible, but for

her best friend turned boyfriend/partner, not so much.

Turns out Kim told nothing but the truth about what

really happened on the Lowardian spacecraft, and

with that said, the media all clammored to the home

of Ron Stoppable, along with all the bullies whom

picked on him all the way through senior year, as

well as a certain summer school attendee, looking

to mooch off of his new found popularity.

Ron: Look, Bon-bon, I'm going out with Kim, so if

you can't handle that, then tough tomales'.

Bonnie: Oh, come on, Ronny-kins, I know you can

do so much better than her, I mean she did date a

synthodrone.

Ron: 1. She didn't know he was a synthodrone. 2.

If she did, she would've cleaned his clock.

Bonnie: Or so you say.

Ron: You just don't get it, do you?

I mean your "food chain" crumbled all around you,

your so-called friends from your clique abandoned

you when they heard you have to take summer school,

your boyfriends all dumped you for girls that are less of

obnoxious snobs than you, and you had to stoop to hacking

into the ballot boxes, and bribing a computer genius with date

with you, to become homecoming queen. Let's not forget the

only true friend you had, before you decided to steal her boyfriend

away from her, only to dump him for me instead.

Bonnie was in the preverbial hot seat as Ron listed all of her failings

on live global television. Needless to say, she was sweating like pig.

All eyes were upon her as she recomposed herself.

Bonnie: But, Ronnie, we've been best friends since pre-school,

don't you remember?

Ron: Oh, so that's what you call slinging insults at a boy whom you think

is a loser, and try to cut him down when he makes right.

Sorry, but for your recollection, we met in 3rd grade at elementary,

and as for us being best friends, if that's what you do to your best friends,

then I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies.

That's twice Ron got the drop on her, just one more nail for her coffin and

she's done for.

Bonnie: Okay, I'll admit it, but don't you want a taste of Bon-bon?

Come on, Ronny-kins, not even your skank-ass girlfriend has to

know. I know how she treats you like a human shield, and when

you end up saving the day, she pretends to be your girlfriend,

only until someone like Josh Mankey sweeps her off her feet, and

out of your arms.

Bonnie put all of her venom into those off-collar remarks about

someone whom means the world to the freckled, blond haired

young man, problem was, that he knew better.

Only two words could justifiably describe what was gonna

happen to the snooty, tanned brunette: Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Bonnie: When you're with me, Ronny-poo, I'll treat you the way a man

ought to be treated, I'll give you more love in one night than "Kim

Swappble" can give to you in a lifetime, what do you say, huh?

Ron: Normally I'm the paragon of chivalry and forgivness,

BUT WHEN YOU INSULT MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU PUSH THE

WRONG BUTTONS, BITCH! YOU WANNA KNOW

WHO'S THE BIGGEST WHORE OUT OF THE TWO OF

YOU, I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, LOOK IN THE GODDANMED

MIRROR, BECAUSE AS YAH WEY, GOD, BUDDAH, ALLAH,

AND ALL OF THE WORLD, AS MY WITNESSES, I'M GLAD TO

SAY THAT YOU BLEW K.P. OUT OF THE RUNNING, AND SHE

WASN'T EVEN COMPETING AGAINST YOU IN THAT DEPARTMENT,

YOU STUPID, UGLY, REPULSIVE, FUCKING SLUT!

As Ron continued to reign fire, brimstone, and holy hell on Bonnie,

yelling, ranting, and calling her every name under the sun, she

realized that all the venom she threw at him over the years was being

thrown right back into her face, and she started to let loose the waterworks

that were building up in her teal eyes. Meanwhile, the news cameras were

capturing Ron's justifiable retribution against the former "Queen B" of Middleton

High School, along with her emotional and nervous breakdown.

Ron: AND IF YOU TRY ONE MORE, JUST ONE MORE, OF YOUR "HIGH SCHOOL EVIL"

TRICKS ON EITHER ONE, OR THE BOTH OF US, I'LL HAVE YOU LOCKED UP IN A JAIL CELL FOR HARASSMENT, NOW DID YOU GET ALL THAT?

Bonnie then felt something she only felt three times in her entire life, fear, an unimaginable

amount of fear. She immediately moused up more than a cartoon character by the name

of Mickey.

Bonnie: Yeah, I got it, I'm sorry.

Ron: What was that? I could'nt hear you.

Bonnie then let out her response a little louder.

Bonnie: I said that I got it all, and that I'm sorry.

Ron: Sorry for what?

Bonnie: For insulting your girlfriend.

Ron: And?

Bonnie: For trying to steal you away from her.

Ron: Whatelse?

Bonnie: And for trying to mooch off your international popularity. Now please, can I go?

Ron: Yeah, we're cool, for now. Just don't insult K.P. like that ever again, or else.

Bonnie: Thank you, excuse me, please.

After Bonnie Rockwaller, the former Queen of Mean, now the defeated 7 year old girl

trapped in the body of a 17 year old woman, fled the scene, Ron was feeling pretty

danm good aout himself, then he turned around, and saw the news crews and

onlookers, many of which either learned or taught at the M.H.S., and his heart began

to sink.

Ron: Oh boy, this doesn't look chauncy.

Asst. Principle Barkin: Never in my life did I think I'd live to see the day Ron Stoppable

went Maddog on anyone, literally. I don't think even sailors cursed as much as he did.

Brick Flagg: Dude, that was beyond Christian Bale and Mel Gibson.

Monique: Did sweet li'l Ronnie finally bitch out Bonnie Rockwaller?

Somebody call the man an exorcist.

Felix Renton: Okay, he's an exorcist, ha!

Everyone, even good ol' Steve Barkin, had a full on belly buster laugh as they gathered around

Ron, who was just plain confused about all this.

Ron: Hey, guys, Mr. Barkin, sorry you had to see that.

Tara King: Aw, don't worry about it, the skankasaurus rex had it coming.

Monique: Yeah, she exercised nothing but B.K. since the second L.I., and after what she called

my numero uno B.F.F., trust me when I say, she S.T.D. it.

Mr. Barkin: S.T.D.?

Brick: So totally deserved.

Mr. Barkin: Oh, you kids and your crazy lingo.

Felix: So, what's on the agenda today, Ron-man?

Ron: Well, I was gonna pick up Kim so we can go on a special date.

Everyone: Oooooooooh!

Ron's face then turned beet red at their response.

Ron: Alright, you crazy knuckleheads, cut it out.

Brick: Okay, okay, but what about the t.v. news crews?

Aren't you worried about them?

Ron: Mom, Dad, and even Hana are keeping most of them busy. The rest are being handled

by a Global Justice security detail. All in all, as they say in The Lion King, hakuna matata.

Mr. Barkin: Nice!

Monique: You go on ahead and pick your B.F.G.F. up, we'll keep your folks company.

Ron thanked them all and went on his merry way to pick up Kim, with Rufus sleeping peacefully

in his pants pocket, secretly guarding a treasure that will be revealed in due time.

In the meantime, let's check on Kim, shall we?

Possible residence, Middleton, Colorado

Dr. Anne Possible: Oh, dear lord, did Ron have to use such language?

Jim: Well, considering who she is,

Tim: and what she has done,

Both: both in the past as well as recently,

Jim: she totally deserved,

Tim: Ron's curse filled tirade.

Dr. James T. Possible: Is it just me, or did our boys make a valid point?

Kim: As much as I hate to admit this, but they're absolutely right on this one particular event.

Bonnie's burnt way too many bridges down, now she must live with the consequences of those

actions which she took. I mean, take Tara for example, she was best friends with her, and was

dating Bobby Johnson, who almost went to Colorado State with a full scholarship and everything.

Then Ms. High School Evil stabbed her in the back by seducing him, and when Tara found out,

she kicked the both of them to the curb. When the other players on the football team heard

about it, they refused to play with him during game time, and during practice, they all but killed

him. As for Bonnie, the rest of the cheer squad and I came to a unanamous vote to kick her off,

and the team did the same for poor Bobby as well. After that, Bonnie became so furious, that in

a fit of rage, she dumped him in the most emasculating way, through a Queen Bee tantrum.

Bobby however, got his revenge on her by revealing her dirty laundry, and after that, she couldn't

get a decent date, let alone a steady boyfriend. Her grades also suffered because of it, and she

flunked her entire senior year.

James: Oooh, that's gotta hurt.

Anne: That, and her failed attempt to weasle Ron out of your life. I bet that'll affect her summer

school studies.

Jim: Can you say,

Tim: "Uber-pwnage,"

Both: " served with a side of overkill."

Kim: Still, what Ron did for me so hurricane rocked in stereo.

It is then that Kim gets a dreamy look in her eyes, thinking of the boy, no,

the man whom she loves with all of her heart, when all of a sudden there's a knock on the door.

Kim: I'll get it, besides, it's probably MY Ron-man picking me up for our date little early.

With that she went to the front door to the house, see who was there, unfortunately, it wasn't

who she expected. As she opened the door, she was greeted by a foolish little boy that

broke her heart, and made her wrech everytime she saw him.

Josh Mankey: Hey there, K.P., how are doing on this blessed evening?

Kim: Josh, what the hell are you doing here, do you know you're violating the restraining order,

and the P.F.A., that I filed against you?

Perhaps a moment is needed to explain. During the night of the graduation prom, all the

attendees seemed to be enjoying themselves with a night of dancing, fun, and food.

However, Kim's personal glass of punch was spiked with a Mickey Finn, by Josh Mankey,

whom, along with several other boys in his clique, proposed a toast to her health. The

only problem for Mankey the man-child, and his clique, was that Ron Stoppble, and all

their friends from the high school were there to toast her as well. After taking a single sip,

she realized instantly why Josh offered to get her some punch personally, but what he

didn't know was that Ron and the others had witnessed the slipping of the Mickey

into her drink, and devised a plan to bust Mankey and get Kim to safety. The others

left to find , along with several security personnel, and let them know what

Mankey and his clique are about to do. Meanwhile, Ron, showing concern for Kim's health,

makes an inquiry as to her wellbeing. When she states she's not up to snuff, Ron opts to

take her outside to get some fresh air. But as he goes to help her to her feet, Mankey

and the others surround the duo, forcing the two to take up their fighting stances,

with Kim being abnormally unbalanced on her feet. The two fought valiantly, but Kim, whom

is normally quite adept to the martial arts, was slow, sluggish, weak, and clumsily cumbersome,

and was easily overcome by Mankey and his group. Ron then realized if he didn't up the ante,

his girlfriend would be tragically cut down from her prime, and all because a jealous ex-boyfriend

slipped a Mickey in her drink. So once again, Ron summoned his Mystical Monkey Power to

defeat Mankey and his band of nefarious ne'er-do-wellers. One by one, Mankey's gang recieved

ample punishment, a broken bone or a few, not to permanantly cripple them, but just enough to

give them a message; that anyone whom attempts to take advantage of, or abuse Kim Possible,

in such a grotesque manner, had best have their health insurance paid in full, and their last will

and testament made out, because there's only two ways to come out of this sitch, dead or alive.

_**For whom the bell tolls**_, (by Metallica)

After single handedly dispacthing Mankey's goons, all the while safeguarding Kim,from their

advances, it was down to only Ron and Mankey, the latter of the two drawing a nickle plated,

Israeli made, colt .45 semi-automatic desert eagle, with his hands shaking like no tomorrow,

while the former took it by the barrel, snatched it away, emptied the magazine clip and the

chamber, and turned it into a paperweight made out of Play-doh (T.M.). Ron then moved

behind Mankey so quickly, that all anyone could see of him was a blur, and proceeded to

put Ol' Monkey-boy in a German Suplex that was so fast, powerful, hard, and sudden, all at

the same time, that all that Mankey had time for was to simultaniously relieve both his bladder

and his bowels, within his pants, in that very instant before the blissful darkness of

unconciousness greeted and surrounded him. Though the length of that battle was short and

brief, the damages on Mankey's side were numerous and great in measure, conversely, however,

the damage suffered by Team Possible was minimal, only a few bumps and bruises.

As Ron held Kim's prone form protectively and lovingly in his arms, the sound of sirens filled

the air, and heralded a sign that the Middleton Police Department and E.M.T.s had arrived.

After taking statements from several witnesses and gathering evidence, Chief Hobble deduced

that Mankey and his gang were the real culprits, and Ron was just coming to the defense of the

victim, whom in this case was Kim Possible. A week later, a trial was held against Mankey and

his harem of boyfriends, for the Possible family, whom upon hearing about Ron's heroic actions

that very night, sang praises and lauded him with gifts, but none, more so than Dr. James T.

Possible, as well as M.H.S. and the state of Colorado. Though there was enough evidence

and eye witness reports that cooberated with one another, Mankey and his goon squad pleaded

not guilty. Then the District Attorney represemting the victim and her family, chipped away at

their defense too a great degree, and soon, nearly all of the defendants changed their pleas to

guilty. The only hold out was Josh Mankey. He decided to turn up the charm when he gave his

testimony to the court, but when Ron took took to the stand, and gave his testimony in full and

complete detail, more or less, the defense council had a hell of time reigning Mankey in, who

started making racist remarks and ethnic slurs that would make Mel Gibson seem like

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., until he was escorted out of the courtroom, the judge presiding

over this case declared that a jury verdict would merely be an unnessacary formality,

unless the jury would like to dish the verdict out A.S.A.P., after deliberating over the findings

of the court during lunch break. The jury agreed to deliberate over this case during lunch.

An hour later, everyone, even Mankey, whom got the full Anthony Hopkins treatment, ala

Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs, came back into the courtroom. The judge then

instructed the councilors to make their closing arguments, the D.A. gave her closing statement,

in which she expressed her trust and confidence in the jury, and gave a basic but heartfelt outline

of the events that led to this trial, the defense merely made one last desperate plea for his client's

freedom, along with an obvious and vain attempt to discredit Kim Possible, but it fell on deaf ears.

After the judge asked for their verdict, the jury foreman declared Josh Mankey guilty as charged.

An uproarious celebration was heard throughout the courtroom, however the only ones not joining

the festivities were Mankey, and his defense attorney. At the sound of the gavel, the festivities

died down, and the judge so ordered Mankey to be fitted with a Lowjack ankle bracelet and put

under house arrest pending his sentencing hearing. And now, my friends, you know the rest of

the story.

Mankey: I do, along with my house arrest, which is why I'm here. I just want one last date with

you K.P., and then I'm gone and out of your life forever. The Loser doesn't have to know, please,

just this once.

Kim: First off, only my Ron-man can call me K.P., it's Ms. Possible to you, second, I wouldn't

date you even if you're the last man on earth, instead, I'd commit Hara-kiri, lastly, that said loser,

saved the entire earth, including your weak, sorry, pathetic, and worthless ass, and he killed two

ten foot tall aliens hellbent on pan-galactic conquest to do it, and had enough Ron Factor to kick

all of the asses your useless crew, and lay the smackdown on you. SO YOU'D BEST LEAVE

BEFORE I HAVE MY DAD BUST OUT HIS MOSSBERG 500 PERSUADER AND GO ALL

MANHUNTER ON YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIG BASTARD.

Mankey: Aw, come on don't be like that, honey.

Kim: Daddy, could you come here and "show" him your "persuader"?

James: In a minute Kimmy-cub, I'm just finishinig the final preparaitions as we speak.

Without a moment wasted James arrived at the door decked out in full hunting gear.

In his hands and at the ready was said persuader, fully loaded, and aimed directly

at Mankey, whom emptied his stomach's contents into his pants, 1-2 combo style.

He started shaking like a leaf when he heard Dr. James Possible do his rendition of an

Elmer Fudd impersonation.

James: Be vewy, vewy, quiet, I'm hunting assholes, hahahahaha!

Mankey: Holy fucking shit! I guess you never kid around about something serious

like that.

James: As my brother, "Slim", would say in a sitch like this, y'all have 10 seconds

to get your ugly mug outta my property, before I have "Mr. Thunderstick" here go

"BOOM!" and turn y'all into Swiss cheese.

It's at that time when everyone heard a familiar voice, one from a creature that

perks up at the mere mention of the word, "cheese."

Rufus: Hnk! Cheese!

Mankey: Oh no, not again!

If you don't have Spaceballs on D.V.D. or V.H.S., or you never seen it in your

entire life, you'll never fully appreciate the irony of this reference.

Mankey: Hi, Ron!

Ron: Hello, Monkey Turd, just what the deuce are you doing here?

Mankey: Nothing much, just came here to apologize to the both of you, in person,

you know?

Ron: So, you're not trying to harass my girlfriend, are you?

Mankey: No!

Ron: Good, because that would be gorchy.

Mankey: How gorchy?

Ron: "I'll have to make you a quadrapalegic," gorchy.

Mankey: That's pretty gorchy.

Ron: I know, but I'm in such a good mood right now, that I'm gonna give you a ten

minute headstart to get back home before I call the cops. Frankly with the shit you

pulled at the prom, they're looking to exercise some police brutality on your stupid

ass, but if we were to kill you, the cops would cover it up, and make it look like you

disappeared right off of the face of the earth. Just remember, we're Team Possible,

we can do anything, even make you vanish without a trace. Your ten minutes begin

now.

With that, Josh Mankey took off like a bat out of hell, taking his urine stained, manure

covered kiester off of the Possibles' front lawn.

Kim: Ron, Thank goodness you came.

Ron: Oh, K.P., thank goodness he didn't hurt you.

Rufus: Hnk, Mankey, bleeechhh!

James: Why don't you three come inside? I'm sure we've got a wheel of gorganzola

for Rufus, and he's looking pretty famished.

Rufus: Hnk! 'zola, hokay!

While we leave Rufus to get his 'zola on, let's check on Mr. Daiper, shall we?

Mankey: Oh man, that was so close.

Mr. Mankey: Hello, son!

Josh: Yipe! Oh, it's just you, Dad, you scared the living shit outta me.

Mr. Mankey: Are you alright, Josh? You look like you've seen a ghost.

Josh: No, I snuck out to see Kim, and when she opened the door, she told me off.

Mr. Mankey: You went to the Possibles' home? God, Josh, what the fucking hell were

you thinking?

Josh: I'm still in love with Kim, that's what.

Mr. Mankey: Did you try taking the anklet off, or something?

Josh: I tried cutting the anklet band, but its made of a super fabric that's nigh indestructible,

and the only thing that can cut it is plasma energy blades, or plasma energy blasts.

Mr. Mankey: What about hacking the beacon unit?

Josh: I even tried that, but thanks to Wade Load's design, technology, and programming,

it's 100% tamper proof. It even fried my desktop, laptop, and notebook computers, one by one,

and any hand, or power tool that I use on it ends up being useless or broken, right off the bat.

Mr. Mankey: (sniff sniff) Jesus Tittyfucking Christ, what's that godforsaken smell?

Josh: Well, after her dad threatened to turn me into Swiss cheese, Ron showed up, and since

then, I lost control over both my bladder and my bowels.

Mr. Mankey: You mean you pissed and shat all over yourself?

Josh: (sobbing) Yeah!

Mr. Mankey: (sighing) Okay, clean yourself up, get changed, and meet me and your mother in the

family room.

Josh: (still sobbing) Okay!

Mr. Mankey: AND STOP CRYING LIKE A LITTLE BABY, OR ELSE I'LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING

TO REALLY CRY ABOUT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU'RE THE HEIR TO THRONE OF THE

SHOCKER EMPIRE, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, START ACTING LIKE IT.

After a shower and a change of clothes, Josh met up with his folks in the family room.

Mrs. Mankey: I can't believe how foolish you've been. If you couldn't find a way of getting your

Lowjack off, or making it work for you, you should've stayed here and left Kim Possible alone,

but no, you, of all people, went against all rational thought, logic, and reason.

Josh: But, Mom?

Mr. Mankey: Angela's right, perhaps you're not as ready to lead Shocker and it's affiliates

as I originally thought, which is why we're letting the law deal with you.

Josh: You mean to tell me that you're handing me to the cops, and letting me live.

Mrs. Mankey: Yes, however, if you decide within that microscopic, cro-magnon brain of

yours, to reveal our true operations, and our objectives, you'll be liqudated, is that clear.

Josh: You mean you'd kill even me, your own flesh and blood.

Mr. Mankey: Only to protect our organization.

It was then that Josh learned full well the consequences of his actions. All of a sudden, there

was a knock at their door.

Mrs. Mankey: Would you be a dear, Burton, darling, and see who's at our door?

Mr. Mankey: Of course, Angela, my love.

When he answered the door, it was none other than Chief Brock Hobble, waiting at the doorstep

of the Mankeys' residence.

Chief Hobble: Top of the evening to ye', Mr. Mankey, how are ye' doing?

Mr. Mankey: I'm doing quite well, actually. How can I be of service?

Chief Hobble: Well, I was wondering if ye' could invite me in. There's an important matter

concernin' the wee li'l Mankey lad living with ye'.

Mr. Mankey: Well, then, by all means, please do come inside.

After being led into the family room of the posh and swanky mansion, Chief Hobble got down

to the brass tacks of the business at hand.

Chief Hobble: Earlier today, we recieved several alarms indicating that your sonny boy had in

fact attempted to tamper with the new Lowjacking system created by Wade Load and

Dr. Andrew Lipsky, ye' would know the latter of the two from his days as Drakken.

Mrs. Mankey: (fake surprised look of shock) Oh my! Why would our boy do such a thing?

Chief Hobble: Well, ye' boyo may have been fixin' to sneak out and head on over to Kim

Possible's house, but then all o' the sudden, the alarms stopped and the beacon was on the

move, with young Joshua in tow.

Mr. Mankey: ( fake gasp of shock) Josh, how could you? Do you even know how this will affect

the judge's decision on your sentencing for your conviction and incarseration?

Chief Hobble: Fortunately, ye' boyo came back safe and sound, unfortunately, he was last seen at

the Possibles' estate. So, I'm here to personally bring him in for violatin' the P.F.A., restrainin'

order, and house arrest, along with attempted sabotage of police property. Josh Mankey, you're

under arrest for the previously aforementioned crimes, you have the right to remain silent.

Josh: I choose to wave that right.

And so, with that being said, Josh went on yet another racist tirade/temper tantrum. This was

gonna be a long night for the chief.

Meanwhile, on Ron and Kim's date, the night went without a hitch, it was a date filled with love,

passion, and romance. First, dinner at Chez` L`amour, and a romantic comedy flick at the

Maxi-plex, then, finally, dancing at the Dog Pound, which is an under 21 nightclub, followed up

by some romantic kissing and cuddling at Lovers Point. So far, everything was perfect.

Kim: (thinking) _I can't believe how well behaved he was acting, or how well thought out this date_

_was , or even how much fun we had! Oh, Ron, I love you so much!_

When they got home, they kissed eachother so passionately, that after a whole 7 and a half

minutes, they were out of breath.

Kim: (dreamily) Wow, Ron, who knew you'd be such a great kisser.

Ron: (romantically) And who knew you'd be such a beautiful lady.

Kim: (giggling like a schoolgirl) Would you like to come inside, my handsome Romeo?

Ron: (passionate, ala Don Juan) Anything for you, Juliette, my goddess, but first, a surprise.

Hold out your hands and close your eyes.

As Kim followed his instructions Rufus handed him a tiny, little box, but not just any box, no,

this particular box held the treasure that Rufus had guarded with his life, a treasure that will

prove in a silent promise that true love can never die; a promisary ring.

Kim: I wonder what kind of surprise it is, it could be anything.

Ron: Trust me when I say this, you're gonna love it.

And thusly, he opens the box and pulls the ring out, then places the ring in her hands.

Ron: Okay, you can open your gorgeous emerald-green eyes now.

Kim did so, trusting Ron complicitely with her heart, and her life. What greeted her eyes

next, had her on the verge of joyous tears filled with love. a love that burns for one, and only

one man in her life.

Kim: Oh my god, Ron, is this what I think it is?

Ron: Yes, Kimmie, it is. It's a promisary ring, and with it, I promise to always stay faithful,

honest, and true to only you, my love. I also promise to never harm you, and to always be

there for you, whenever and wherever you need me. I also promise to keep you safe from facing

this world all alone, to share the good times, and the bad. I promise to consol you, and make you

laugh when you feel like crying, to embrace you, and hold you when you feel scared and lonely,

and to always love you, forever and ever, till kingdom come.

Kim: (thinking to herself) _Okay, Kim, your boyfriend just took you out for the best damned date in_

_your entire life only to pop a promise ring on you when he takes you home. All this on the same_

_day he bitches out Bonnie and makes a creepy ex-boyfriend of yours mess his pants continuously_

_and outrun Speedy Gonzales, The Roadrunner, The Flash, and Superman combined, so not the_

_drama. All you gotta do is to remember to breath, relax, and glomp the living daylights outta him,_

_and if he's still alive, accept his heartfelt promise, and if he's more than willing, take him upstairs_

_into your bedroom and ride him hard, cowgirl style. Also gotta remember to make love to him well_

_into the wee hours of the morning. God, I love this man._

The next thing you know, Kim is mercilessly glomping Ron, all the while embracing him, caressing

him, enticing him, loving him, and pinning him to the front lawn.

Ron: (smiling sheepishly) Wow, that was the first time anyone has glomped me.

Kim: You mean this never happened to you before? Oh, you poor thing!

Kim kept holding him close and tight, stroking his hair lightly, her eyes showing a rising

combination of love, lust, mischief, affection, and passion.

Kim: So you know, when I glomped you, it meant that I gladly accept your promise, Ron. I love you, more than words can really say.

Ron: (sweating bullets and turning beet red) Oh, Kimila, my love, aishite iru, eien ni, koishii, but

why are you rubbing inbetween my legs?

Kim: (with half lidded eyes) Well, it's because I want to show you how much I love you and need

you, and I need you, right here, right now.

Ron: (moaning like a wildebeast...yeah!?) But..., I thought...you wanted...to wait...for the...Ah, oh

yahweh, yes,... honeymoon... after...college?

Kim: (thinking to herself again) _**Oh my god, **__I'm so sorry, Ron. You were thinking of saving_

_yourself for our wedding night, when we'd get married after we graduated from college._

_You were thinking of our future together, getting a decent career and such, and I had to think_

_about my own libido. Oh, Kim, you're a creep, here this man was willing to wait for you, and_

_you threw yourself upon him like a drunken prom date. What have you done? He may never_

_wanna see you ever again, and think you're easier than a two-bit floozy. I hope it was worth it,_

_because you may have ruined the best damned relationship you had going for you, and to top it all_

_off, he'll quit Team Possible because of you! He does have massive equipment though, which_

_would explain why he's got such big hands. Wait, what the hell am I thinking?_

Kim: I-I'm sorry, I should've never done that, I mean, I was letting my hormones do the thinking for

me, and now you probably think I'm easier than Bonnie ever was, and you wanna quit Team

Possible because of this, I'm so sorry , R-Ron.

It was then that Kim started crying, sobbing, and shedding tears of sorrow, remorse, and despair.

This was only the second time she felt her world crumble around her, or even that she would lose

everything that really mattered, and it scared her to death. If Ron were to leave her tonight, once

and for all, she wouldn't blame him, but she couldn't function without him either. She would have

to close the Team Possible website for good, because she could lose the real reason as to why

she risked life and limb to help people and save the world, along with the fire in her soul.

However, like a good boyfriend, Ron had stayed, to envelop her in his loving embrace, and kiss

every single inch of her beautiful face, and whisper reassurances and tender, loving, and sweet

nothings in her ear. All the while, caressing her fit, supple body softly.

Kim: R-Ron?

Ron: It's okay, K.P., I'm not gonna leave you, or quit the team, I just thought you still wanted to

take this relationship nice and slow, plus, aside from the time our brains were switched, you're

the first girl to touch me there, and it kinda' threw me for a loop. I'm the one who should be

apologizing, not you.

Kim: But you were thinking about our future together, and trying to be the perfect boyfriend by keeping me from letting my hormones control me. You were trying to keep my virtue intact, to keep my virginity intact until we're married. Oh, Ron, you're the best, hands down.

Ron: Well, I am what I is.

Kim: (puppy dog pout in full effect) Ronnie?

Ron: Yeah Kim?

Kim: I want you, and I wanna give myself completely to you.

Ron: Are you absolutely sure?

Kim: Yes!

Ron: Okay, but we'd better head inside first, oh, and happy 18th birthday by the way.

Kim: You mean you remembered my birthday all along?

Ron: Of course I did, that's why I went to the extra trouble to make this date extra-special.

Kim: (thinking again)_ Oh, Ron, I'm gonna love you up till you can't feel your legs, you've been_

_so good to me, and now it's my turn to return the favor. I'll never leave you, or hurt you, I'll_

_always be there for you, my darling. This I silently promise._

Perhaps an explaination is in order. Just a month before Josh Mankey's trial, Ron Stoppable,

famed second half of Team Possible, had just celebrated his 18th birthday, but not before the

colleges of the entire globe had sent out acceptance letters to his home, and gave him the

Kim Possible treatment as well. As it would turn out, Kim's Kimmunicator doubled as an

audio/video recording and transcieving device, and as luck would have it, she recorded every

detail of Ron's fight against Warhok and Warmonga, the Lowardian invaders, and when the media

started giving her preferrential treatment, or forget her partner's name intentionally to set her off,

she did a big reveal as to who the real hero on that very day was. Hence, this prompted a

response from all the universities of the entire world to try and snatch him, and Kim, up for college

admissions, and when Mankey's trial became worldwide news, Josh instantly lost any and all

favor with not only his bandmates, but also his friends, customers, and peers in the high society

art community in Middleton. Mankey's plans for getting a record deal, or attending an art school

had been dashed to pieces by his own doing. He had no future left because of his misdeeds.

This, and other attributing factors, had turned him into a social paraiyah on a global scale, and

brought stocks in his family's business group, the Shocker Products Corporation to an all time

low. Because of this, the whole world looked upon him as a curse, a failure, and a felon.

Team Possible's future, however, looked brighter than ever before, and they still had eachother.

Infact, they're planning on attending the same university together, and getting a coed dorm room

for the two to share.

Kim: (seductively) We'd better get inside before we give the neighbors one hell of a floor show,

Loverboy.

Ron: (excitedly, but in a good way, with his voice cracking) Okay!

When they got inside, they were greeted by Mr. Dr. Possible, who was smiling from ear to ear for

some reason or another.

James: Hey, you two, how was the date? I hope everything went well.

Kim: Hey, Dad, the date was wonderful, and everything was perfect, down to a tee. So, what are

you doing up so late?

James: Two reasons; 1. I thought me and Ron would have a nice, friendly, calm, blackhole-free,

man-to-man chat, and 2. let's just say after getting the boys to bed, we started having those urges

that married people, whom still love eachother, by the way, tend to get when everything's right in

the world. It's also true that after we got to our bedroom, we started getting frisky, and relived our

honeymoon all over again. Needless to say, I'm a bit dehydrated, but when your Mom hits the

high C...

Kim: T.M.I., Dad, so did not need to know that!

James: Oh, right, sorry about that. Say, Ron, could come with me to the study with me, I have

some important matters I wish to discuss with you, and don't worry, I won't send you into a

blackhole or anything.

Ron:(curious) Okay!?

While Kim waited in the kitchen and called is folks to send over a change of clothes, Ron warily

followed Mr. Dr. Possible down to the study.

James: Anywho, I just wanted to impart a gift and some fatherly advice to you before you head

upstairs with my little Kimmy-cub. First, the gift, trust me, you'll need it.

Just then, James handed Ron a box of large condoms, all with a smile on his face, as if he was

a proud father giving his only daughter away to be Ron's bride.

Ron: Trojans, ribbed for her pleasure?

James: Correctemundo, and now for the advice. Since the both of you grown up so much, there

comes a time in every lion's life when they need to let their young go out into the world, and make

their own prides and such. What I'm trying to say is, that both Anne and I trust you with our little

girl completely, and that the two of you are old enough to make your own decisions. Being with

you makes our Kimmy-cub happy, and since she's now an adult, we trust you'll continue to do so.

Ron: Thanks, Mr. Dr. P., I won't let you down.

James: Good, because if you break her heart, I'll have Anne give you a full frontal lobotamy,

and add a single cryo- chamber pod for one of my blackhole probes, and then, put you in it and

send you to the nearest blackhole. Oh, and you're welcome, by the way.

Ron couldn't help but cringe before the rocket scientist's threat, and he nearly lost his fudge, if you

know what I mean. While Kim and Ron head for her loft bedroom, let's drop in on Bonnie the

Queen of all bitchdom, shall we?

Tara King's Domicile

Tara: Thanks for walking me home, Felix. Ever since me and "Bonnie the Bitchzilla" parted ways,

and I broke up with "Bobo the Great White Hopeless", I've really been quite lonesome.

Felix: Ah, shucks, Tara, as Kim would always say, it's no big.

Tara: Nonsense, it is a big, a really big big, and I really enjoy your company. You hurricane rock

in stereo.

Felix: Well, I just thought you needed cheering up after what happened to you. Noone should

ever go through what you did, especially you.

Tara: (crying) Why did it have to happen to me, why did Bobby cheat on me, and with my

Ex-B.F.F. of all people?

Felix: (while holding Tara in his arms to comfort her) Oh, Tara, I wish I knew, but all I know is if

you were my girlfriend, I would never break your heart like Bobby and Bonnie did.

Tara: Felix, do you think I'm pretty?

Felix: (beet red) In my personal opinion, you're the most beautiful angel to ever float on down

from heaven above.

Tara: That's so sweet, Felix, thank you.

It's at this time that Tara kissed the lovable champion of "Zombie Mayhem" on the cheek,

and it was one of the best experiences of the parapalegic young man's entire life.

Tara: Well, since you went through so much trouble of getting me home safely, why don't

you come inside and have some coffee with me?

Felix: (befuddled) Uh-huh!

Tara: Thank you so much, and make yourself at home.

Felix: Okay!

No sooner had they made their way inside, there was a knocking on Tara's door.

Tara: It's okay, Felix, I'll get that.

When she opened the door, she was greeted with the most unwelcomed sight, or, for

that matter, person, recently known to her in her entire existance, Bonnie Rockwaller.

Bonnie: Hey, Tara, you got a minute?

Tara: (coldly) Depends, what do you want?

Bonnie: Well, do you mind if I came in?

Tara: Yeah, I kinda' do mind, seeing as you're no longer my best friend, or even

welcomed in my home, after what you pulled on me.

Bonnie: Okay, I admittedly deserved that, but maybe you can come outside for

a moment?

Tara: (totally suspicious) Are your sisters waiting to jump me on my own porch?

Bonnie: I personally assure you that they're nowhere near here.

Tara: Alright, I'm coming out, but any funny stuff, and it's bye-bye high-living, and hello

hard time in a state pennitentiary for you.

Bonnie: (apologetic) Okay, well, I need to apologize for what I did with Bobby behind your back,

I'm not looking for forgiveness or absolution, I just feel really shitty and guilty, and I needed to get

that off my chest.

Tara: (emotionlessly) Well, for someone who destroyed a friendship and a relationship at the same simultaneous time, that was the most heartfelt thing you ever said. Apology accepted.

Bonnie: (extatically) Great, you don't know how much this means to me. Now, come on, I need

your help to get even with that loser, Stoppable, and his trashy slut of a girlfriend.

Tara: (exasperated) Oh, so that's the catch, huh, just help you ruin the lives of Team Possible?

Bonnie: (fearful) Whatever do you mean?

Tara: (angrily) Oh come off it, you skanky hag, the apology you gave was bullshit and you know

it. Well I got news for you, just because your apology was accepted, doesn't mean you're even

forgiven, or absolved of wrong-doing, for that matter. I put all my trust in you, because I foolishly

believed even you had some good left in you, and how do you reaffirm that, by sleeping with my

ex-boyfriend behind my back, and recently, refusing to pull your own weight on the cheer squad,

picking fights with your fellow members, not bothering to show up on time, or at all, to any game

the Mad Dogs had, or any important meet that we had, and don't get me started on your attitude,

or your nasty little habits, you know, your jones for the yeyo. Let's not forget, also, how many guys

you fucked. Face it, bitch, you're still high school evil, while I, like a select few, are on the highest

point of our own food chain. One of these days, you're going to end up pathetically sad and alone,

with no one around to make you happy, or to comfort you, oh wait, that magical day has arrived.

Well, look on the brightside, one day you'll die, and when you finally reach hell, it'll be a step up

from this place.

Bonnie started to tear up for a second time today as Tara headed back inside from her front

porch, but the blonde former highschool cheerleader stopped abruptly, and turned to face her

one last time.

Tara: (proudly) I suppose I should thank you, if I haven't met you, I would've become you.

Bonnie could not help but cry as the last shred of dignity was ripped right out from her, this

time, by a friend that she had betrayed.

Bonnie: (thinking to herself) _That tears it, there's nothing left for me in this podunk community,_

_I lost all my friends, my lovelife's in the pits, and all the respect people had for me is gone._

_I should just dropout and leave this place behind for good. Maybe Shocker is hiring, and they're_

_bound to take me if they hear how much I despise Team Possible, and all their little friends,_

_especially that blonde, treacherous bimbo, Tara King. Plus, my skills in voodoo and creole black_

_magic give me an edge at the very least._

With that, Bonnie walks away from her former best friend's house, never to return, at least on

peaceful terms, ever again. But enough about Bon-bon the bonehead, let's get back to our own

beloved dynamic duo. Pull the string.

Kim's bedroom, Possible residence

While the two of them were kissing eachother deeply, and passionately,

Ron layed Kim down on her bed gently, as if she was made of fine china. Don't worry folks,

I know a lot of you on the forums are parents, hence they're still very much clothed

and decent, all they did as far as undressing was take their jackets, shoes, and if they had them,

socks off. I'd never subject the kids to pornography.

Ron: I love you forever and always, my Kimila.

Harlequin romance for teenagers, however, that's a differemt pizza to bake all together.

Kim: Oh, Ron, I love you more than words could ever really say.

Ron: (curious and excited, in more ways than one) Oh really, how do you intend to prove it?

While Ron was on top, he caught a glimpse of her eyes, and saw the same emotions he saw

within them when he and Kim were coming back from their date. All of a sudden, Kim flipped Ron

onto the bed, while she stradled his waist, cow-girl style. She then began to unbutton Ron's dress

shirt, all the while, kissing him forcefully and laying tender butterfly kisses on his neck. She even

started nibbling his ears, to get his motor revving.

Ron: (moaning in extasy) Okay, I'm a believer, now.

I think I should fast forward this part before this becomes a lemon fan fiction.

The next morning

Oh, thank goodness for that.

Kim: (waking up) Yawn, wow, that was perfect.

Kim woke up from her slumber and looked to the other side of her bed. To her relief, her boyfriend, best friend, partner, and hero was with her, and just as naked as she was underneath the blanket. She looked at his sleeping form face -to-face, and noticed that one of his hands draped over her shoulder and on her back. While Ron was still slumbering, she brought that hand to her lips, and proceeded to kiss the open palm of it.

Kim: (dreamy look upon her face) Oh, Ron, last night was hands down the best of all, and I want to thank you for it. I can't wait till you wake up, my darling, because I'm going to make reevaluate your definition of "Good morning" when you do.

And so, she began suckling on his fingers, swirling her lithe tongue around each one. She silently

hoped and prayed that her lover would awaken as she did so. Much to her pleasure, he did just

that.

Ron: (drowsily waking up) Yaaaawn, man, K.P., for our first time making love, that was bon-diggity. I hope we can do th...

Ron was in a state of euphoric shock after catching a glimpse of this rare sight. Kim, his first, and

his only lover, kissing his hand and suckling on his fingers. The sight alone rendered him dizzy

with sensual pleasure, but the sounds, and the feel of it all, rendered him cross-eyed and totally

incoherent as well.

Ron: (chanting a mantra) Iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilov eyou!

As he chanted, he felt one of Kim's hands duck back down the blanket, to where, that I can't say.

Ron: (distracted from said mantra) K-K-K-Kim, what are you doing with m-m-m-my y-y-y-you know

what?

Kim: (seductively with a southern drawl) Why, I'm just giving my big, strong, handsome, and well

endowed lover one hell of a good morning. You like?

Ron: (obviously in the throes of extasy) Ronnie don't just like, ah yes, Ronnie love.

Kim: (in a southern accent) Aw, why thank you kindly, sugar, would you like more?

Ron: Yes, please and thank you!

Kim: Well, you'll have to wait till we hit the shower, and when I said "we", I meant the both of us, at

the same time, together. Is that alright with you, Honey?

Ron: (hormones doing the thinking) Yes, Ma'am!

Good grief, another near lemon scene, let's skip to where they go downstairs to have breakfast.

Breakfast time

THANK YOU!

After Ron and Kim had their shower, and went to the kitchen, they found Anne making breakfast

for the whole bunch, while James was reading the newspaper, smoking from his pipe, and

drinking his coffee at the same time, in other words, doing Dad stuff.

James: Good morning, Kimmy-cub, oops, I mean Kimberly, and you too, Ron. How'd you sleep

last night, quite well, I take it?

Kim: Actually, Dad, Ron and I didn't get to sleep until early this morning.

James: How early?

Kim: "The crack of dawn" early!

James: What have you two been doing up there?

Ron: (abashedly) Oh, nothing much, really. Just kissing, cuddling, holding, and squeezing

eachother.

James: That's all, ahh well, I guess kids these days are finally toning down their rambunctious and

wild behavior nowadays.

Kim: Ron, you don't have to down play our lovemaking sessions, I mean, we did it seven times

last night, and another time when we got in the shower.

It was then James did the classic double take with a spit of his coffee, and a raise of an eyebrow.

James: (surprised look on his face) Eight times, eight times, EIGHT TIMES? What is this man, a

machine?

Ron: Pretty badical, huh? One of the advantages of youth, I think, wouldn't you say so, Kimmy,

baby?

Kim: Ron's right, Dad, males 18 years and younger tend to have better stamina for bedroom fun.

On a more personal note, is it normal for teenage males to have a 16 inch trouser snake?

Anne: Why do you ask, dear?

Kim: Because that's what Ron's got. The poor thing must have been starved for attention.

Again, James did a double take once more, as he decided to change the subject, quite wisely,

might I add.

James: By the way, Josh Mankey, was arrested last night, seems he had the po-pos

on his tail, as the kids are saying, nowadays.

Ron: (devious smile on his face) Really, how'd that happen?

James: Well, ten minutes after he left our home, a good samaritan type bystander, witnessed the

whole thing, and called the cops, he wished to remain anonymous, though, but the strangest thing

is that Ron had asked to use the bathroom before you two left on your date. Any connection to

this incident, Ron?

Ron: Okay, I can't lie to you, I did call the cops on him, it was only because Mankey had went from

being high school evil to being full on evil. Remember when Kim found out he was cheating on

her with Marcella and broke up with him in front of all his audience and band members.

That alone humiliated him to no end. Then, there was the time he was an up and coming artist

with his parents helping him to sell his paintings for tuition into art school, but then he started making near perfect replicas of famous paintings, for a cat-burglar named Camille Leon. When me and Kim busted the two of them, he thought he had immunity by previous association, but it only proved that not even filthy, cheating ex-boyfriends were safe from Team Possible, or the wrath of a girlfriend scorned. After that bust, Mankey ended up with four broken limbs and a few years of Juvie in Paris.

Anne: Okay, but how did he get back to America, anyway, and what arrangement did the two of

them have?

Kim: Josh made the duplicates, and Camille stole the originals and switched them with the

forgeries, the deal was a fifty/fifty split of the proceeds from selling the originals on the black

market, and as to the first, his parents pushed for probation and extradiction, seeing as they

own Shocker Products International. It's the largest share holder in every big business all over

the globe, and the biggest supplier of just about anything you can think of, from household items,

to medical equipment, to space research instruments. With Shocker running those businesses

from the shadows, the Mankeys have a free reign over the entire world I'm afraid.

Jim: So, you're saying that...

Tim: ...with their hands in...

Both: ...all the world's businesses...

Tim: ...they can commit a crime...

Jim: ...and call up their corporation...

Both: ...and they can get away with it scott-free?

Ron: Afraid so, since all those businesses have connections to governments all over the world, I

should have known in the past Josh was a million miles of bad road.

Kim: It's alright, sweety, he's gone now, and he can't get to us anymore.

Kim held her beloved protector in her arms, to comfort him through whatever guilt he's putting

himself through. Never once thinking of letting him go for anything.

Meanwhile, at Mankey Manor

Angela: Are you sure bringing "Him" in will make up the loss of our heir apparent, Burton, darling?

Burton: Don't fret, Angela, my pet, our second born son has never failed us yet, unlike that first born mistake we had, he failed not once, or twice, but three times, to get Kim Possible on our side. As far as I'm concerned, Jaguarix, A.K.A. Joshua can stand some time in a jail cell. The fourth time was the clincher, he could've kidnapped Possible last night, and brought her here, so we could "Educate" her properly, but did he? Hell no, he ran back home with his tail between his legs, and smelling like piss and shit. He's a useless incumberence, nothing more.

Angela: By "Educate", you mean wiping her entire memory clean, and brainwashing her into one of our assasins, or little "Pets" for our troopers.

Burton: If by "Pet", you mean sex slave, then, yes. Does that answer your question, love?

Angela: Indeed it does, my handsome, sovreign emperor of darkness, but what about "Him"?

"He" has a long track record of going beserk and killing a whole room of people whenever "He"

hears that song play. It sends "Him" into an uncontrollable rage that ends only when that song

is done.

Burton: You mean Alek, A.K.A. Anacondax, don't worry, he underwent the Shocker Psychiatric

treatment for this problem.

Angela: Oh, thank Satan, is he getting any better?

Burton: Well, there's good news and bad news. The treatment failed right off the bat, and he killed that quack shrink of ours.

Angela: (obviously worried) That's the good news!?

Burton: (cool as a cucumber) No, that's the bad news, the good news is I saved us a bunch of

money on car insurance by switching to Geico, it's so easy, practically anybody can do it.

And somewhere out in this crazy world we live in, a bunch of cavemen are shouting "thank you"

to the head of the Shocker corporation, even thinking of getting jobs there.

Burton: Besides, the chances of "Pop goes the weasel" playing in the background are so very

much infintesimal, that he'll probably forget all about his seventh birthday.

Angela: (looking at her husband increduously) For your sake, you'd better be right about this,

because if he ends up killing us, I'm divorcing your ass.

Burton: Fair enough!

Now, let's all go check on Bonnie's end, shall we?

Rockwaller Estate

Bonnie: (whining like a 3 year old) But, Dad, what do you mean that they won't take me?

Philip K. Rockwaller: You need to earn a college degree before you can work for them, those

are the rules. You can't get a job until you graduate from college, and you can't graduate if

you don't get in. You'll never get in if you don't apply yourself and graduate from summer school,

and you'll never do that if you drop out here and now.

Veronica "Ronnie" Rockwaller: Philip's right about this, Bon-bon. How do you expect to serve our

masters, the Mankeys, if you haven't got a future, or an education, even?

Bonnie: (annoyed as hell) Whoever said I wanted to serve the Mankeys, I just want vengeance

against Possible and her loser friends.

Connie: Please, like we've never heard that over and over before.

Lonnie: Yeah, Bon-bon, you're such a broken record, you say that all the time.

Connie: Like it was your daily mantra.

Lonnie: Give it a rest, already.

Veronica: Please, you two, Bon-bon's been through enough, and right now, her emotions are

running a little high. You should be supporting her, and helping her through this rough patch

in her life.

Philip: Ronnie's right, you've done nothing but sit around, getting fat and lazy, and made Bonnie

the scapegoat for all your failures, or worse, blamed it all on her. It's no surprise, that with your

constant pressures on her, she failed at school, making friends, romance, or even cheerleading.

If you don't cut it out, I'll disinherit the both of you, have you disowned, thrown out, and disavowed

as agents of Shocker, and send you away to some third world country, with nothing but the shirts

on your backs. Is that understood?

Bonnie: (pleasantly surprised) Thanks, Dad!

Philip: (in perfectly fluent French) Avec mon plasir.

Lonnie and Connie: (in downtrodden unison) Sorry, Dad!

Philip: (swiftly recompsing himself) Good, now apologize to Bon-bon.

Lonnie: But, Dad, she's not a Shocker yet.

Connie: Yeah, she's still a civvie.

Philip: (disappointed and annoyed) Just because she's a civvie doesn't mean she isn't family, or

that you have free reign to disrespect her, belittle her, or take advantage of her. As far as I am

concerned, she's a Shocker trooper in spirit. Now, you each have three seconds before I make

good on my threat.

Both: (dejectedly and begrudgingly) Sorry, Bonnie, we won't ever put you through that again.

Philip: Alright, now everything's chauncy between all of us, but if you don't start pulling your weight

in the house, or the organization, I'll forget about the previous threat and kill the both of you, and

don't you dare put it past me, because I will kill the both of you, without feeling bad, or losing any

sleep over it. Is that clear?

Both: (fearful for their lives) Crystal!

Philip: Okay then, as for you Bon-bon, do you want an overall advantage over your older sisters?

Bonnie: Yes!

Philip: Then you gotta stay in summer school and work hard at it. Can you do that for your old

man, my li'l bunny-rabbit?

Bonnie: (with renewed confidence) You bet I will. Besides, I already got leverage over those two

nincompoops over there.

Veronica: Really, what kind of leverage?

Bonnie: (smiling wickedly) Oh, nothing special, just some homemade voodoo dolls.

It's in that instant that Bonnie pulls out two miniature effigies, made in the likenesses of her older

sisters, with patches of their favorite dresses, which were cut from said dresses, tied around their

necks, from behind her back.

Lonnie and Connie: (both livid and preturbed) YOU WENT INTO OUR ROOMS TO CUT UP OUR

CLOTHES FOR YOUR LITTLE DOLLIES.

Bonnie: They're more than just plain old dolls. Just watch, and you'll see.

With that, she took the doll that looked like Lonnie, while setting Connie's doll down gently,

and proceeded to break the limbs of the first doll. As she did, though, everyone in the room

could hear the horrid sound of bones, cartilage, and tendons snapping, twisting, and breaking.

That, plus Lonnie's anguished cries of pain, suffering, and agony. Needless to say, Bonnie

was sadistically slow, deliberate, precise, and cruel in commiting the act.

Connie: (scared shitless) Holy fucking shit!

Connie desperately tried to get away, but Bonnie grabbed the other voodoo doll by the neck

and squeezed it tight. Connie, in turn, started gasping for air, as if Bonnie herself was choking

the life right out of her.

Bonnie: (grinning maliciously) Uh-uh-uh, you can't run out from the demonstration of my personal

skills and abilities yet, I'm just getting started.

Philip: (impressed with Bonnie's skills) Okay, nicely done, Bon-bon, Now could you please let her

go.

Bonnie: For you, Mom and Dad, anything.

Bonnie then loosened the constriction around the dolls neck, allowing Connie to draw breath again

after the demonstration was over.

Bonnie: Now, who's the queen bitch around here?

Connie: (coughing like crazy) You are!

Bonnie: Okay then, fuck with me like that ever again, and I'll kill you, and then reanimate your

corpses with an ancient voodoo spell. You'll then be my zombie bitches, and I won't think

twice about tricking the both of you out to all the Johns out there, got it?

Connie: (regains her breath) Yeah, we got it.

Veronica: Phil, honey, what are we going to do with those two?

Philip: We'll take Lonnie down to Middleton General Hospital, then have her and Connie demoted

to the rank of personal slaves. I'll get the Cerebrium memory wipe drug, and you can handle their

brainwashing and "Reeducation" for me.

Connie: (fear and terror all over) Wait, what do you mean by "Reeducation"?

Veronica: Trust us, it's just our little way of enforcing some sort of punishment for all your botched

missions, endless abuse of our youngest daughter, and even, your procrastinate behavior towards

imparitive missions that required your unique talents. As added poetic justice, once you've been

"Reeducated", you'll serve as Bonnie's handmaidens, while Bonnie gets contol over your little

inheritance. It's for the best of our family, and for Shocker.

Connie's screams of horror and realization was the last thing to echo through the estate.

Connie: No, no, NOOOOOOOOO!

At the Middleton Courthouse

Judge: (shakes his head in shame) Mankey, Mankey, Mankey, why would you take your current

situation, which is bad road to the infinite power, and exaserbate it to this extent?

Josh: (sheepishly grinning and shaking like a leaf) Well, your honor, you know what they say?

People do crazy stuff when they're in love.

Judge: Agreeable, however, the actions you took yesterday and last night prove to me you still

have no remorse, or common sense, for that matter, which is why effective immediately, you are

to spend a sentence of no more than life, and no less than fifty years, at the Dale Marsden

Uber-maximum security prison. That is, of course, you have something else to add, young man?

Josh looked to his parents, whom shot him an icy-cold death glare, and then his fourteen year old

brother, who had the body of a massive twenty-something football player, and the mind of a seven

year old. He then decided on a course off action that could get him off scott free, and redeem

himself in the eyes of his family.

Josh: (cocky and arrogant) Yeah, I've got a special going away present for you, it's kind of a small

souvenir to remember me by.

Judge: (curious like George) Oh, really, well, where is it?

With that Josh mooned the judge yelling, "Fruit basket for the judge", and started to strip down,

naked, singing "Pop goes the weasel", while running through the courtroom. While his mother

covered Alek's ears, his father covered his eyes. All this whilst Josh mocked and shamed the

baliffs with his amazing acrobatic skills and display of insane genius. It dies down to a halt when

he's finally caught, but the Judge is still fuming and bangs his gavel up and down, like a madman

posessed by Satan himself after going on a binge of alcohol and drugs.

Judge: Order, I said order. Order in the court.

No one could hear the judge over the sound of constant chatting. It kept getting worse and worse

until the judge, with his last raw nerve being pushed to the limit, yelled at the court attendees to

shut them up.

Judge: ALRIGHT YOU FILTHY MAGGOTS, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP BEFORE I ARREST

THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU FOR CONTEMPT OF COURT!

After that, the only sound the judge could hear was a cricket chirping.

Judge: (clearing his throat) Okay then, just for that little disruption you created here in my

courtroom, I'm doubling your sentence. I will also permanently revoke your elligibility for

parole, so that the only way you'll leave the prison, is if you're dead. You'll also undergo

court ordered psychiatric treatment during your stay there, and unless the shrink can deem

you emotionally and psychologically stable, sound, competent, and capable enough to undergo

a parole board hearing, you'll be locked away in the new criminally insane wing of the prison.

Oops, look's like Moneky-boy got F.U.B.A.R., big time.

Josh: (surprised and horrified) Crap-baskets!

Alek: Mommie, why did Josh run around in the courtroom naked?

Angela: Because, Alek, your big brother was going for an insanity defence, problem was his

timing for it was off, he waited till he was found guilty. The stupid fool.

Alek: Do we still get to visit him?

Burton: Of course we do.

Alek: Can we visit him when he gets settled?

Angela: We'll work something out.

Alek: Daddy, when Mommie covered my ears, Josh was singing a song. What was the name

of the song?

Burton: (sweating bullets) Well, uh..um...it was a dirty rendition of The Camptown Ladies, one

with lots of naughty language and potty-mouth words.

Alek: Oh, okey-dokey!

Both Mankey parents breathed a sigh of relief as Josh's plans to exploit Alek's unfortunate

madness as a last resort end-all solution to his current problem, were null and void. Thusly,

on that note, the judge adjourned the court, and we go forward to another couple that get along

quite famously.

Ranchero de la Flagg

Brick: (dumbfounded) You know, that might've worked if he timed it a little earlier, like, say,

during his preliminary hearing. That way, he could easily mount an insanity defense.

Monique: I know how you feel, but he got himself F.U.B.A.R. when he cheated on Kim,

became an accomplice to art theft and counterfeiting, and came back home, with help from

Ol' Ma' and Pa', only to try and gangrape her. Now, he's got a laundry list of charges that won't

ever disappear, and ruined his E.P.R. with his courtroom antics that are so B.S.C. that Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, and even Jack the Ripper seem T.B.C. when going up against him.

For those who don't know 'Nique Speak, definitions will be given after this chapter. T.Y.F.N.

Brick: (depressed and in deep thought) Yeah!

Monique: (worried) Brick, Honey, what's wrong? You seem to be depressed about something.

Brick: Well, Monique, do you remember Junior prom?

Monique: Yeah, what about it?

Brick: It's just that this whole Mankey sitch is bringing back memories of how I caught my

ex-girlfriend, Bonnie, having sex at said prom with my former best friend, Bobby Johnson.

It's something that you can't forget easily. Fortunately, I can think back to it with a somewhat

clear conscience, because I acted as a protective adopted brother to poor Tara, and let her know

just what was going on back then. I can't help but feel guilty about ruining a friendship as strong

as the one between Tara and Bonnie.

Brick then began crying out of remorse for what he had done Junior year. He felt bad about how

Bobby's grades began slipping, and how the other players treated him like a leper during game

time, and how said players nearly lynched him during practice, severely injuring him to an extent

to where he could no longer play football ever again, even when he healed up completely, costing

him a sports scholarship of a lifetime. When Brick graduated, he heard that Bobby had infact

dropped out during Senior year, and that he and his family had moved to London, to start a new

life, and never return to Middleton ever again. Just like every good christian, he did the right thing

for the right reason, but was ashamed at the destructive results those actions brought, but like a

wiseman once said, "karma can be a bitchy boomerang, if you do good, good will come to you

and fuck your brains out, but if you do bad, bad will get her brothers and jump you like the damn

Viet-Cong, and mercilessly continue to do so till one of two things happen, you start doing good,

or you die. Don't even try running away or hiding from it either, cause it'll only make it worse,

no matter where you are, it'll come for you." Monique could see how much this was hurting him

deep down inside, and held him lovingly in her arms. She did it to comfort the man she loves with

all her heart, through one of his darkest times, and show him that angels do infact still exsist to

this very day, not just in Heaven, but here on Earth as well.

Monique: (reassuringly) There, there, Bricky, baby, it's okay, it wasn't your fault, what happened

to Bobby was never your fault. In all those practice exercises, I never saw you feed him to the

wolves, and in those games he was in before he got hurt, you actually still treated him as a part of

the team, and in school, you tried to save him from getting beaten up by all the other jocks. You

did your best to help him out in his studies when nobody else would. It's not your fault that his life

had hit a skid. It's not your fault that he shunned out the people that were helping him. It's like my

Mom always says, "the only people that truly deserve our help, are the people who want to face

their problems head-on, and get out of the mud puddle of self-pity." Bobby sure as hell didn't

wanna man up and face his problems, or get out of that one-man pity-party he was throwing for

his own damn self. He was already too far gone to save. You did all you could do for him,

nothing more. In there, lies your absolution, Sweety, and in treating him like a person, instead

of a disease, even though your friendship ended on such a sour note, you proved who the bigger

man between the two of you really was.

Brick: (feeling a little less guilty) Really?

Monique: Would I ever lie to you?

Brick: Never in a million years.

Monique: Then kiss me, you big-hearted fool.

The two shared a deep, passionate kiss together, holding eachother tightly, as if they're afraid

to let go. They then layed together on the couch, still watching the news of Mankey's incarceration

on the television. They laughed at Josh's obviously failed attempt at playing the insanity card, and

the highlights of his sentencing hearing. All in all, it's just another summer day in Middleton,

Colorado.

Author's 'Nique speak dictionary

**B.S.C.:** Bat shit crazy

**B.K.:** Bad karma

**F.U.B.A.R.:** Fucked up beyond all recognition

**E.P.R.:** Everyday public reputation

**T.B.C.:** Tame by comparison

**T.Y.F.N.:** Thank you for now.

Well that does it for the ichisei chapter, now stay tuned for the nisei chapter.

Same Rider-time, same Rider-channel.

Read, review, live long, and prosper, my fellow space cadets.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, everybody, Rider V3 Stoppable here, and I brought with me a special guest, all the way

from Japan, the incomparable, the unstoppable, the unbeatable Hiroshi Tanahashi.

Hiroshi: Konnichiwa, homies.

Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to help with my disclaimer.

Hiroshi: It's no big, really, now where's those motherfucking Disney vamps?

Over there with their Vampire Overlord, Michael Eisner, right underneath

that black cloud of death, you can't miss it.

Hiroshi: Showa no kyuuketsuki, omae wa mou shinde iru. You do the previews for this

chapter, I'll take care of these guys.

As Oded Fehr said it best, Allah hu mana, Broha.

Hiroshi: (as he goes off to face the vampire horde) _**TORA, TORA, TORA, DAI KAMIKAZE!**_

The sound of an entire clan of vampires getting their asses hand to them by a single japanese

professional wrestler can be heard in the distance.

Okay, when we last left off, we learned a little bit about Shocker and who runs it, but what's the

deal with the kooky codenames? Plus, how smoothly things are going for most of the people of

Middleton, and a little more about the friends of Team Possible, but what's the Rockwallers'

involvement? We're also delving into the lives of Drakken and Shego, as well as introducing

some people new to the K.P. universe. So, in closing, let me officially start with a disclaimer,

I, Rider V3 Stoppable, do here by declare that...

Michael Eisner: (screaming in pain, agony, and suffering) PUSS-SPEWING, BLOOD-GUTTING

HELL!

Hiroshi, either shut that suckhead up, or kill that bastard more quietly. I'm trying to do the

disclaimer here. Anyway, I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, aside from some O.C.s here and there.

Well, that does it for previews and disclaimer. Hiroshi-kun, you done yet?

Hiroshi drives the stake into Michael Eisner's heart one, last, time before slaying the unholy,

undead, Overlord once and for all.

Hiroshi: (comes back covered in vampire's blood) Hai, Raidaa-kun, owari desu.

Yatta, okay, read and review, or I'll send Hiroshi Tanahashi after you, and he'll be in a sour

mood if you don't.

**Chapter 2: Reunions and new friends**

Josh couldn't believe what was about to happen, he had failed in everything he attempted, and

now, he was given the cruelest of fates. Without his parents to back him up, or break him out,

he had nothing to live for. The prisoners over at the Dale Marsden prison will use him up like no

tomorrow. In a few hours he would become a brand-spanking new prison bitch.

Josh: When I get out, I'll make damn sure to kill the both of you, Mother and Father. Then, I'll trick

my idiot brother into drinking an arsenic cocktail. You'll see, you'll all see when I get out. The real

bitch of it is how the hell I'm gonna do it.

As for his family's business, company stock went to an even lower profit margin. The recently

completed trial had garnered negative publicity for the Mankeys, and their grandiose corporation.

Soon enough, more and more of their subsidiaries have decided to split apart from the Shocker

mega-conglomerate, becoming independent of the pan-global industry. There were only a handful of companies still faithful to Shocker, but even their profit garnering abilities proved useless, especially in the face of a scandal that didn't just rock Middleton, but also the entire county, state, country, conntinent, and even the entire world. With the backlash of the Josh Mankey incident already taking it's toll, the Mankeys had no other choice but to allow their subsidiaries to go independent, relinquishing it's hold on the world's economy to have a chance to recover. But, how does this effect Team Possible, you ask. Well let's find out, shall we?

Bueno Nacho, Middleton, Colorado

Brick: Hey, gang, did you get the 411 about the S.P.C. on yesterday's five o'clock news?

Felix: Yeah, we heard that in order to stay afloat in the midst of bankrupcy, Shocker Products

Corporation had to cancel their contracts with their subsidiary companies, and rendered them

all completely independent from them, by selling the controlling stocks of each of them back

for practically a penny's worth each.

Kim and Ron: (shock and awe, in unison) Say what?

Ron: Jinx, you owe me a kiss.

Kim: (lovingly) When we get home, I'm gonna give more than just a kiss.

Tara: Woah there, cowgirl, save the naughty stuff for in private.

Monique: Do you guys know what this means, though, they could lose all their political

connections all over the world, and all because your Ron-man went Bruce Lee on Josh.

Kim, that means he's not getting out of jail at all, and if he does, they'll probably send him

to a sanitarium for the criminally insane, if he's lucky to survive Day 1 in the Dale Marsden

Uber-max Federal pennatentiary.

Beep-beep-da-beep

The group then heard that all-too-familiar ringtone from the Kimmunicator. Kim then answered

to see who was calling her. As soon as the hologram flickered on, she immediately recognized

who was calling.

Kim: Hey, Wade, long time, no see.

Wade: Hey, Kim, it's good to see you and Ron, too. I just wish it were under better conditions.

Ron: What do you mean, Wade?

Wade: There's a distressing message on the Team Possible site.

Kim: What's the sitch, Wade?

Wade: How many people are with you?

Ron: Just Rufus, Monique, Tara, Felix, Brick, and myself, why?

Wade: Because a death threat has been issued against the two of you, your families, your friends,

and their families as well. It's been sent by someone calling themself "Emperor Draculoid".

Kim: Did you trace where they sent it from?

Wade: I'm trying even as we speak, but whoever's behind this, bounced the signal off of all of the

global satellites that are currently in orbit, and used multiple communications networks as decoys

within decoys, like a Mamushka doll, and they were clever enough to encrypt their I.P. adress

with a trinary encryption code program with firewalls upon firewalls, and the passwords change

hourly, it'll take some time, but there's no computer that can't be hacked by "The Master".

Ron: How do you plan on that, Load-meister?

Wade: I happen to know an expert on this matter. He's a god among the hacker community,

who's gotten more hard copy from all the international databases and mainframes, networks,

and government agencies in the world. He's on Global Justice's most wanted hackers list, at

the numero uno position, to be exact. G.J. calls him by the name, "Shadow Warrior", because

of the facts that he's never been caught, he can't be identified, he's totally untraceable, and he

only causes either minor mischief, to have a few laughs, or governments and organizations to

crumble if they're engaged in any illegal activity. Rumor has it, is that he can hack into any

computer in the world, and make copies of every file imaginable, then crash their systems in only

3 minutes.

Kim: What's his real name, if he can help us, we need to know.

Wade: Fortunately, I do know him personally, his name's E.T. Becker.

WOOT, I'M IN THE STORY!

Kim: You mean the international kendo champion, legendary otaku, and boy genius from the "Steel City" itself.

Ron: The guy whom, at the tender age of seven, hacked into Area 51, just to get the skinny on the

"Roswell Conspiracy", and narrowly avoided being caught.

Felix: The dude whom, at age 16, built a portable Uber-computer, just to steal surplus funds from

the hidden bank accounts of big wig oil companies, and redistribute them to various charities and

down trodden homeowners, to help them afford the intrests, leans, and mortgages on their

homes.

Monique: Ya know, for a white guy, he sure is one bad mother...

Tara: SHUT YO' MOUTH!

Monique: I was only talkin' 'bout E.T., Tara.

Brick: Chill, Baby, we can dig it.

Rufus: (doing an Isaac Hayes impersonation and wearing 70's style sunglasses) Hnk, right on!

Kim: Do you know where we can find him?

Wade: His current whereabouts is in the Kourakuen Stadium, in Tokyo, Japan. Apparently, he's

in a tounament of olympic proportions. If he wins, he could very well bring home the gold.

Ron: Thanks, Wade, just one more question, do they have Bueno Nacho in Japan?

Wade: Over 50 locations in Tokyo alone, why?

Ron: (impersonating Fred Rogers) Can you say "booyah"? Sure you can, it's easy.

At the same time in Tokyo

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, we now begin the final match in the olympic kendo tournament

on this beautiful summer day here in Kourakuen Stadium, the birth home of the japanese equal to

the american Power Rangers franchise, Super Sentai. In this match, we have our local hero, the

national kendo champion, Kirimaru Ichijouji, and the U.S. sensation, and kendo's very own answer

to Lance Armstrong, the U.S. national champion and 5 time winner/4 time defender of the coveted

international championship, the olympic gold medalist, E.T. Becker.

At the mere mention of his name, the american olympic team's fans rejoiced with a resounding

applause, and a standing ovation... wait a tick, that's me they're rooting for. What am I doing

typing this story up? I gotta go, I'm gonna win one for the Gipper.

Referee: Alright, you already know the rules, so I don't need to repeat myself. I want a good,

clean duel, nothin' below the belt, and absolutely no funny stuff. Kirimaru, are you ready?

Kirimaru: Osu! (that means,"I'm ready", in japanese)

Referee: E.T., are you ready?

E.T.: Yoshi, kettou da! (that means, "hell yeah, let's do this".)

Referee: Okay then, face me, bow, face eachother, bow, hajime.

The two of us take to our fighting positions, with kendo sticks at the ready. From what I've

seen in the highlights of this guy, I learned that he likes to bait his opponents, conserving

on his most powerful strikes until he sweeps their feet. Then, while they're on their backs,

and disoriented from that attack, he wails in them. The bitch of that plan of attack being,

that it's not only dishonorable, but also it takes a lot of control to not only master, but pull it off

as well. Fortunately, I've come up with a similar strategy. As the two of us began to trade

blows, blocking, dodging, and parrying eachother, I read all of his movements carefully and

quickly. Then I saw an opening as he came at me with an overhead attack. I swiftly countred

with a rising horizontal underhand strike at Kirimaru's wrists.

Kirimaru: Ittai, ittai, ittai yo! (Ow, ow, ow, that hurt!)

Referee: Point for U.S.A.'s team.

After we returned to our neutral corners, we were given a brief rest period, to cool our heels.

Even from where I was, I could tell Kirimaru was getting angry, and that he needed more time

to cool down. After the rest period, we were at it again. This time around, he tried to thrust right

at me, but I deflected his attack, spun around him, and struck him with a simple vertical strike

on top of his head, in one fluid motion. Needless to say, I was becoming the "Dennis 'The

Menace' Mitchell" to his "Mr. Wilson" in no time, flat.

Referee: Point for the U.S. team.

Kirimaru: Nan de da yo? (What the fuck?)

E.T.: Hey, Kimono Boy, you wanna know what you ought to do, y'all should just "phone home"

to your mama, and tell her that you're getting beaten by a guy from the U.S., who knows, eh?

Maybe she'll disown you outta shame, and leave your daddy, to come to the U.S. with me.

Kirimaru: Omae wa shinde kisama karukujin no ichiban, Baka yarou!

E.T.: Did you just say that I'm a dead goddamned whiteguy just now?

Kirimaru: (in english) Hell yeah I did!

E.T.: Well then, in the immortal words of Duane "The Rock" Johnson, "just bring it!"

After another rest break, I came to the conclusion that he needed to go down, and quick, like

a Thai hooker. The two of us resumed our duel until he started trying to kick me. Then, he went

Agro with the Jigen Ryu single hand kendo techniques, all the while, trying to punch me or push

me down. My strategy of making him lose his cool was working well, maybe a little too well. I

managed to dodge all of his non-sanctioned maneuvers until the referee broke it up, but just by

the skin of my teeth.

Referee: Penalty for Team Japan, Kirimaru, this is your only warning, if you attack with another

volley of unsanctioned maneuvers, you'll be disqualified, and I'll have no choice but to award the

gold medal to Team U.S.A. and ban you from active competition for three months within season.

Kirimaru: Uso tsuke yo! (You're lying!)

E.T.: Looks like it's outta the frying pan, and onto the hibachi for you, eh, Kirimaru?

Kirimaru: Laugh it up, you novice hyena, but I will kill you!

E.T. Well, Kimono Boy, y'all better put on your best evening dress, doll yourself real pretty

like, and get ready for a night on the town, because tonight I'm taking you to a ballroom blitz,

American style.

**(Ballroom Blitz By Sweet)**

The two of us went at it like cats and dogs, attacking, dodging, parrying, and blocking, but neither

one of us got anywhere, however, it wasn't from lack of trying on my part. He left too many spots

open for me to attack, and part of me wanted to be a sport and let him try to hit me, while another

wanted to just show off and deflect all his attacks. Then, he made two mistakes in his assault.

The first was that he overextended the start of his overhead strike. The second was that he came

in too close to me. So I thrusted at him with all my strength, and knocked him on his ass.

Kirimaru: (as he falls down) Shimatta! (Crap!)

Referee: That's game, final point for the U.S. team. E.T. has three points, while Kirimaru has

none. All the judges will now tally up their scores.

While the judges were doing their final tally, I waited with anticipation, and a baited breath, to hear

the results of the final tally.

Referee: After tallying up your scores from the previous bouts, along with the final match, the

judges have decided to give you a perfect score all around, congratulations, you're the first gold

medalist to achieve a perfect score. It is my honor to award you this year's Gold Medal in kendo.

E.T.: Meccha kakkoi yan! Domo arigatou gouzaimasu! (This is so cool! Thank you all very

much!)

The roar of applause was so thunderous, they could here it all the way back in America. It was

all overwhelming, and yet, after years of practice and perfecting my skills, very well deserved.

After my victory celebration, I decided to call it a night and head to my hotel. When I entered my

room, I decided to drop a line to my lil' buddy, Wade, via e-mail. I logged in and to my surprise,

there was an e-mail sent straight from Wade Load, himself. It told of how Team Possible had

recieved death threats from someone calling themselves, " Emperor Draculoid", and how all their

friends and relatives each recieved one. The description of the acts of murder on these people

were so graphic and detailed, in the gorchiest level of reality, I almost lost my tsukiyaki beef

and tempura right then and there. He was asking for my help and expertise in this matter, and

I couldn't in my right mind deny him the services of my internet alter-ego. So I dropped him an

e-mail detailing where I'm at, where Team Possible can meet me, and when. In his e-mail, he

said he'd pay me back for services rendered, but in mine, I said I'd do it for free.

Back in the Dale Marsden Prison on the outskirts of Middleton near Go City

The prison transport bus drove into the drop-off point, and the driver let all the passengers out.

Aside from the guards assigned to keep an eye or two on them, they all wore drab, orange

jumpsuits. While the driver was reporting to the dispatch officer and getting a record of the latest

shipment all worked up, the head prison guard walked up to the prisoners after the other guards

had lined them up and made them turn about face. The look on his face conveyed a message

saying, "if you mess with me, you turd eating maggots, I'll hardcore fuck with you."

Chief guard: Welcome to your new home, gentlemen. I'm the chief guard around here. The

name is Chief Corrections Security Officer Sam Stonewall, but you can just refer to me as,

"Sir", and you have ended up in prison because you fucked up royally in the outside. Now,

some of you are here for a few years or so, and you'll be damned lucky to get out early on

parole if you behave. Then, there's some of you who'll be here for even longer, or forever,

for that matter, and no longer can't be paroled, on account of you doing something to

piss the judge off at your sentencing trial. However, for all of you, you'll be beaten, killed,

and even raped by your senior inmates, but I won't let that happen to you. From now on,

you will eat, sleep, shower, exercise, and use the shitter when we tell you to, and if you

feel the absolute need to step outta line, you will raise your hand for me or one of the other

guards, and give us a good excuse. Remember, during this edification process, you're not

to move, talk, or touch without my say so.

As Sam continued to pace from one side to the next, he pulled out a peanut from his left pants

pocket, and cracked it open with his billy club. After he stopped in front of Mankey, and ate the

peanuts, he tossed the shell onto the ground right in front of Mankey's feet. As he bent over to

pick the shell up, Sam drove his billy club into his gut, knocking the wind out of Mankey.

Sam Stonewall: Also, however, if you don't follow the rules that the warden and myself set up, you'll soon find I can be your worst nightmare. Conversely, if you do choose to follow protocol, you'll find that I can be your best buddy, and if that happens to be the case, then we'll all get along

just fine.

There was a dramatic pause as Sam ate a couple more peanuts in front of another new arrival.

Noone went to pick up the shell that time. Looks like Mankey is in some hot water, just like

his folks, but that's for another chapter, let's check out what Shego and Dr. Drakken are up to.

Global Justice Headquarters

The one-time-villain-turned- hero-duo were working diligently on a new project, one combining

all the high-tech systems and features of the Diablo-bots, Bebes, and Synthodrones with the

functionality of the Wade-bots, and programming of E.T. Becker's Asimov Protocols. You know,

the three laws of robots that they should follow. Thusly, they'll help mankind instead of eradicating

or enslaving it. The project's name: Vanguard.

Shego: Hey, Dr. D, are you done with those prototypes yet? I'm about to grow some gray hairs

over here.

Dr. Drakken: Almost, I just finished constructing the last one, now all I gotta do is add the Asimov

protocols into their programming.

Shego: (sarcastically and enthused at the same time) Finally, that only took a few months.

You know, you should really pat yourself on the back for that technological achievement.

Dr. Drakken: (a-good-kind-of-proud smile on his face) Maybe later, but for now, let's get these bad

mofos finished. Could you please hand me the Asimov protocol disk, my dear cohort?

Shego: (pleasantly surprised at his polite manners) Sure thing, Doc, let's just hope they work like

E.T. said they would.

Dr. Drakken: Of course they work, they were created by the foremost computer program expert in

the entire span of the globe. Why wouldn't they?

The good doctor don't know me too well, do he?

Shego: (slightly suspicious) Remember when he sold faked N.A.T.O. control and military missile

launch codes to every villain, terrorist faction, and crime family all around the world, as an April

fools joke, and called the feds on them, anonymously, of course, and worked up enough credits to

go to college at Tokyo University, to become a Manga-ka.

What can I say, ain't I a stinker?

Dr. Drakken: (obviously pissed as hell) Yes, thank you for bringing that "happy" memory up, now

would you please hand me the Asimov protocol disk?

Shego: (non-chalantly) Yeah, sure, here ya' go.

As Shego handed him the disk, their hands inadvertantly touch for what seemed to be eternity, but

was actually a mere 3 minutes. Their eyes locked in a gaze with eachother, and their mouths had

opened in sudden realization. Just as quickly as it rose to the surface, the former villains hid it

once more and got back to the task at hand, building an army of robotic heroes.

Shego: (curious and hopeful) So, Dr. D, you got anyone special in your life, I mean, besides your

mom, at all?

Dr. Drakken: (moving closer to Shego) No, never had time for friends, dating, or settling down,

that is, until we helped save the world. Why do you ask?

Shego: You mean a handsome and smart guy like yourself, never had a girlfriend, ever, in his

entire career?

Dr. Drakken: (puzzled and confused) Are you being sarcastic, again?

Shego: No, its just that I've only just now noticed how good you look.

Dr. Drakken: (blushing like a June bride) Oh, well, um...uh, you don't look too bad yourself,

Beautiful.

With that, Shego turned even redder than her boss/best friend/punching bag. She had never in

her entire life heard anyone other than her father call her beautiful, and it made her shed tears of

joy.

Dr. Drakken: (very apologetic) I'm sorry, Shego, that just came out, I didn't mean to make you cry.

It's just that ever since you came to work for me, I've always admired your tenacity, your strength,

and your beauty from a distance, but my lack of experience in relationships, coupled with my overt

self-consiousness, forced me not to elevate our own relationship beyond platonic or professional.

If you want to go back to your brothers, I'll understand, but I just wanted to tell you, Shego, that I

fell in love with you, from the day we first met.

Shego: (still shedding joyful tears) You big lunk-head, why didn't you tell me about how you felt so

much sooner? Why pussy-foot around it for years and, all of a sudden, drop this bombshell on

me?

Dr. Drakken: Like I said, I've never been in a relationship before, and I didn't know how you'd

respond to it.

Shego: (pretending to be angry) I'll tell You how I'd respond, now stay still, this won't hurt one

bit.

Fearing for the worst, that his actions had angered Shego to the point of meltdown, Dr. Drakken

closed his eyes and waited for the end. What came instead was a tender, loving kiss on his lips.

When he opened his eyes again, the sight that greeted him was so gorgeous, that it made his

heart whole, it left him complete. That sight was none other than Shego wearing a captivating

smile on her face.

Shego: (smiling like the Cheshire cat) Don't you worry, Blue Boy, I'm not mad at you. I was

just beginning to wonder when or if you'd tell me how you felt about me, or if you really didn't like

me, in that way. It was hard on me because I was crushing on you fiercely, and I only made it

worse by pushing you away emotionally. I'm so sorry for how I treated you, and for what I said to

you over the years.

Dr. Drakken: (with tears in his eyes) No, it's okay, my love. I'm the one who messed up, not you.

If anyone should be feeling bad, it's me. You could never do wrong in my book.

Shego: (holding Drakken in a loving embrace) So you're sorry, and I'm sorry, and that just means

that we're both sorry. Life is too short for regret, my darling doctor. Kiss me, kiss me now and

make me feel better.

Dr. Drakken: Whatever you say, my emerald goddess.

With that, the duo finally shared a deep, romantic, and passionate kiss, one that started out as

innocent as a peck on the lips, then escalated when Shego turned it into a frencher. Soon, it had

evolved into a full-on make-out session, when Dr. Drakken engaged Shego in a game of tonsil

hockey. Both had their arms around one another, making a silent promise, a solemn vow, to

never let eachother go. Then, the two pulled away for air, their eyes glued to one another, unable

to look away for fear of losing every bit of magic and wonder before their gaze.

Dr. Drakken: I'd better finish up on the Vanguard prototypes before Dr. Director pulls the plug on

the project for not reaching the completion deadline.

Shego: Yeah, wouldn't want that to happen, now would we?

The two of them got back to work, all the while, intently sharing deeply romantic gazes with one

another. It seems Cupid's arrow had done it's work, and brought the former villains closer and

closer together. Now let's see what's going down with Team Possible.

Tokyo International Airport

The flight to Tokyo, for Team Possible, was paid in full by their super-hacking benefactor, whom

of course, is the same schlub writing this turkey. It featured first class acommodations, both to

and from the land of the rising sun. However, none of this concerned the two, not one bit. So,

they opted for a trial membership in the "Mile-high Club" and found it to be satisfactory. I won't

go into much more detail than that, but needless to say, they flew the "friendly skies", if you know

what I mean. When they got back to their seats, there were mixed looks at the two of them for

what they just did, along with whispered responses as to what the fellow passengers heard from

the plane's lavatory. The men were either proud of Ron for his "physical" endowments and his

bon-diggity girlfriend/lover, or totally envious of the blonde freckled young man. The ladies had an

almost similar reaction to Kim and her boyfriend/Don Juan, except they remembered her skills in

over 16 styles of kung-fu. The flight, aside from that isolated incident, was for the most part quite

enjoyable, and things couldn't be better for them. When they boarded off of the plane, they began

looking for a guy in his early 20's wearing a wardrobe that was a combination of Toshiro Mifune,

James Dean, and John Wayne all rolled into one, glasses, and had shaggy, dirty blond hair.

Wade said he'd be holding up a sign that read Team Possible, and that he'd be at the gate with

some grande sized Nacos. As they scanned the crowd for the mystery man, they hear a young

American man call out to them.

E.T.: Hey, Team Possible, over here.

Ron: What the...?

Kim: Oh, brother!

E.T.: Ohayo kon bon wa. Welcome to Tokyo. Ore no namae wa Edward Thurston Becker desu.

Ron: A.K.A. Shadow Warrior, the greatest hacker in the world?

Kim: Why are you dressed like that?

E.T.: What, ain't you never hear of the legendary Samurai Gunman before?

Kim & Ron: (in unison) No.

E.T.: Jinx, you owe me a sake. Anywho, yins must be Team Possible, and that must mean yins

need my help busting a jagoff. Well, if yins will kindly follow me, I'll take yins to the limo. Oh, one

other thing, jeet-jet?

Kim: I beg your pardon?

Ron: Kim, he's speaking in Pittsburghese, I think he wants to know if we ate yet.

Kim: (in a dumbfounded shock) Oh, well we already had dinner on the flight, but knowing my Ron,

he's probably craving some Nacos.

E.T.: Well then, Mr. Stoppable, today's your lucky day. I have 15 grande sized Naco/Chimerito

combo meals inside the limo. Why don't you and your li'l naked mole-rat buddy help me scarf

them down, what do you say?

All of a sudden, a familiar looking naked mole-rat popped his head out of Ron's pocket.

Rufus: Hnk, Naco!

Ron: Dude, you so hurricane rock in stereo.

E.T.: Well, it's the least I could do. Now, let's get to the hotel before the Yakuza start coming after

us.

Kim: Why?

E.T.: Oh, no reason other than I humiliated a Yakuza boss' son on worldwide television. Now, he's gunning after me. He probably wants to kill me and restore his family's honor.

Ron: Why the hotel?

E.T.: It has U.N. and G.J. security, along with all the amenities.

Kim: You know, you could of just left a message on my website.

E.T.: I did, it's just taking a while to process.

Just then and there, the Kimmunicator went off. I'll give you three guesses as to whom is calling.

Kim: (pull's out the Kimmunicator) Go ahead, Wade, make it quick.

Wade: Hey, Kim, did you get to E.T. in Tokyo already?

Kim: (with an exasperated look on her face) He's standing right next to us, now, what's the sitch?

Wade: A message just came onto the site, from none other than our super hacker friend here.

It seems that the Ichjouji Yakuza has put out a hit on E.T., and a price on his head.

Kim: (rolling her eyes) Oh, really, you don't say?

Wade: I do say, Kim, I do say.

Ron: Do you happen to know how that came to be, by any chance?

Wade: He humiliated Boss Satoshi Ichijouji's son, Kirimaru, on live, worldwide television by taking

home the gold for team U.S.A., that's how.

E.T.: (smug and cocksure) You know, with those weak-ass skills of his, he should change his

legal name to, "Kirihime", if yins ask me.

Kim: Well, in all fairness, he did resort to cheating and illegal manuevers to try to win.

Ron: Yeah, Broha, you had him beat easy. What method of attack did you use?

E.T,: Well, I used the "Bugs Bunny" method to anger him and humiliate him at the same time,

leaving him open for an attack. The best way to find an opening is to break their ego down, bit by

bit, until they've been blinded by their own frustration.

Just then, the whole Ichijouji yakuza arrived on the scene, complete with their Oyabun, which is a

japanese title for the Boss or Don of a yakuza. Needless to say, Satoshi was pissed.

Satoshi: Oi, nan de dayo? (Hey, what's going on here?)

All of a sudden, we were surrounded by the Ichijouji Yakuza, all of whom were brandishing either

their chains, sickles, daggers, nunchaku, sai daggers, knives, kali sticks, swords, or any other

traditional weapon issued to any soldier of any yakuza. Looks like a japanese stand-off is in

order.

E.T.: Oh, moshi moi, Satoshi-san, nan de desu ne? (Oh, hello, Satoshi-san, what's up?)

Satoshi: (cheerful veneer hiding the venom in his words) Ah, Edward Becker-san, just the man

we wanted to see. My loyal and honorable soldiers have come all this way to congratulate you

on your impressive victory yesterday, too bad my son is not feeling well enough to join us. But

I see you've brought some friends of your own.

E.T.: (bows lightly to show respect) Thank you all for the warm ovation, as to my friends here,

with me is Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and their partner, Rufus the naked mole-rat.

At that moment, Rufus revealed himself to the Oyabun.

Rufus: Hnk, Kon bon wa!

Satoshi, instead of being scared shitless, however, began laughing his toucas off. He foolishly

believed that all I had with me were a couple of cosplayers, ones that were dressed up as the

famous Team Possible. Needless to say, Team Possible were not amused, not, one, bit.

Satoshi: (coming off of a belly laugh) So, you trained a little rodent to speak, then hired a couple

cosplayers to dress up as Team Possible and meet you here at the airport, oh, I'm shaking in my

wabaki.

To say you could see the Oyabun's sarcasm in that remark from a mile away would be the biggest

under statement of the decade, but to say that Mt. Vesuvius had nothing compared to the hidden,

seething rage of the two partners-turned-lovers, and their little buddy/mascot, would dwarf it to an

exponential degree. There's gonna be blood on the streets of the Shinjuku district, I just know it.

What really didn't help matters none, was that Satoshi had not only the gaul to laugh at us, but to

have his dead-beat buddies join in. This angered me even more. Normally, I'm a peaceful kind of

guy, but no one, and I mean no one, insults my prospective clients, no matter if I work pro-bono

or not. So, I grabbed hold of my kendo stick, and adopted a traditional fighting stance, ready to do

three things of my kendo-style-streetfight-to-do list: 1. Kick ass. 2. Munch on a naco. 3. Take all

their names down. There were only two problems with that, I left my nacos in the limo, and I was

running out of room in my composition book. Maybe I should by more of them in bulk, and do it

through wholesale instead of retail.

Satoshi: (silences all of his hoods before he speaks) By the way, Edward-san, that remark about

my wife yesterday really cut me deep. So deep, that I decided to make you an offer you cannot

refuse, give us a million dollars in american money, along with your coveted Gold Medal, and

never show your face in Japan ever again. If you do these favors for us, we'll spare your life, of

course, if that's not to your liking, we can take it out from your friends.

Random Yakuza Thug: Oy, this redhead looks fine enough to fuck, Okashira (that word means

boss in japanese), I say we kill her boyfriend and rape her, then whore her out in Kabuki-cho to

make a little profit from it.

E.T.: (in a serious tone, with fire in his eyes) No deal on either counts, however, we do have a

counter-offer to the one you've so generously made us.

Satoshi: (curious about the offer) Go on, what is this offer that you make?

E.T.: You and your boyfriends make like bonsai trees and leave, or else me and the real-deal

Team Possible is gonna go all Mt. Usu on all of yins collective asses, and stomp yins like

Godzilla stomps Tokyo into a messy pile of debris.

Satoshi: (shakes his head no) No deal, not after what you said about taking my wife to America,

to defile her with you're filthy penis, you cro-magnon, baka-gaijin. (idiot foreigner)

As Satoshi yells out his last insult to me, he pulls out a pinup photo of Hitomi Tanaka (famous

Japanese porn actress), and she was fully clothed. Thank goodness, because I don't wanna go

into battle with a hard-on in my pantalones, that would be the very definition of awkweird.

Random Yakuza Thug #2: (obviously the smart one of the bunch) Oi, Okashira, I think that he's

telling the truth, I recognize these teens from the Terebi (television) news reports. They're the

genuine article Team Possible.

Satoshi: (literally fuming) Shut up you useless baka, can't you see it's all a bluff, a rouse, do you

honestly believe that he knows the real Team Possible personally?

E.T.: (wearing a "poker face" look on his face) Just to make myself clear, I'll give you Jag-offs three important pieces of information: 1. He's right, that is the real Team Possible over there. 2. Even if you're right and this is all just a bluff, it must be a bluff of a bluff. 3. I thought you would have a little sense of humor, I mean after all, you married her.

Satoshi: (turning red with anger) Kill those Goddamned Gaijin!

At that command, all of Satoshi's men surrounded us like the whole Comanche nation, and we were the wagon train. Time for Plan B I suppose.

E.T.: (wearing an evil smile on his face) Hey, Ron, does Rufus do any "special tricks" during a big

combat situation such as this?

Ron: (curious like a monkey named George) Yeah, why do you ask?

E.T.: Think Steven King!

Ron: (sudden realization) Oh, I got it. Rufus, sick balls!

Rufus: Hokay!

As the rest of us had gotten into a fighting stance, cute, innocent, little Rufus scampered off of

Ron's shoulder, onto the floor, and into the right pant leg of the Yakuza's biggest, tallest, most

muscle bound Lunkhead in their entire small army. In the next minute after that, Rufus made him

sing Soprano. Then, a few seconds later, he made him sing Falsetto, and I ain't talking about the

infamous Falsetto Jones either.

E.T.: That's the signal. Let's nuke them like we did in W.W. #2.

While Kim took out ten of Satoshi's boyfriends, I drove through sixteen of them, whom were all

lined up in a nice, neat, and little row. Meanwhile, Rufus used his small size, speed, brains, and

Tai-sheng Pek-qua skills to outsmart another fourteen of them, while Ron took out twenty with his

M.M.P., martial arts moves, and some wrestling moves from out of the G.W.A., which was the city

of Middleton's answer for World Wrestling Entertainment. Needless to say, we came, we saw, we

kicked some ass, but during the fight, Satoshi Ichijouji had ran off, before we decided to give him

a little pow-wow of our own, we pow, and he ow. Does somebody wanna cue the chase music for

this scene while we track down that bald-headed Japanese Telly Savalas wanna-be?

**(Run to the hills by Iron Maiden)**

Thanks again!

By the time we caught up with him, he had taken an innocent seven-year-old girl as a hostage,

and with a Snub nosed Revolver made by Smith & Wesson in his hand. This guy's encorrigible.

Satoshi: (while taking a little girl at gun-point) Alright, you proved you're the real deal, but one

more step forward, and I'll blow this girl's head off!

Little girl: (fearing for her life) Okaa-san, Otou-san, tasukete yo! (Mommy, Daddy, help me!)

After hearing the little girl's plea, her parents, whom that cold and gutless bastard snatched her up

from, had started their bawling and crying, then it hit me like a ton of bricks, but in a good way.

Since Team Possible were a little bit faster than me, I went undetected by Satoshi, and because I

study Kendo, I could fall into a crowd, then sneak up behind him, and make the decisive strike.

When I finally caught up with them, I silently signaled for them to stand down, and made my move

to save the girl. The poor little angel, must be praying to Kami-sama that help would arrive soon.

When I finally did get behind him, Satoshi had bumped into me, turned around, and pointed the

gun at me, but before he could even fire one round into me, I smacked the gun out of his hand

with my Kendo stick, then while he was distracted, watching his weapon slide off into the crowd,

I cracked him in the skull, and he went out like a light. He let the girl go before his head made

friends with the floor. After the battle, the airport security officers and the police arrested all of the

asshole's men, then carted the asshole himself off to prison, after taking our statements and then,

those of the family I helped. This was going to make front page news in the morning, I just know

it.

Inside Ed's stretch limo

Kim: Wow, not only an ace in the arena, but in the streets as well. Where'd you learn how to

do that anyway?

E.T.: (modest as humble pie) Well, some of what I learned came from chop-socky flicks and the

streets, the rest can be attributed to the Kamiya-do Kenjutsu dojo in Pittsburgh, Pa.

Ron: (still in amazement) You know, if you get tired and bored of competing in Kendo tournaments

around the world, you could work with us if you like.

E.T.: (mulling it over in his head) Tempting, I'll have to sleep on it before I come to a decision in

the morning though, but thanks for the offer.

Kim: (looking to Ron) By the way, Ron, where'd Rufus learn a tactic like that?

Ron: (looking at Kim) What do you mean, it's just something Rufus picked up, is all.

Kim: (looking at him incredulously) Ron, you know what I mean, he climbed into that gigantic

yakuza's pants and bit him in family jewels.

Ron: Well, you know when we couldn't make the graduation party because of the stunt that

Josh Mankey pulled on you, and we stayed up all night, watching movies like "Stand by me"

and "The Breakfast Club" until the crack of dawn.

Kim: (wide eyed in total realization) Oh yeah, that day was one of the best days in my life.

I also remember it because it was a couple days away from your birthday. That was when

I got the original "Indiana Jones" trilogy for you.

E.T.: You know guys, I think the first three were monumentally epic, but Stephen Spielberg

and George Lucas ass-raped the poor guy when they made the fourth one.

The next morning at the Rising Sun Hotel, in Tokyo Japan

After I took care of attaining some custom special lodgings for the night, I headed up to my

swanky penthouse suite, which was fully stocked, and had more Kristal than P. Diddy's crib.

No expenses were spared for my room. Kim and Ron had the room next to mine, called the

Emperor's Suite, and it came complete with a little naked mole-rat house for Rufus to sleep in,

as well as it's own cheese fondue fountain. Needless to say, Rufus was too overjoyed for words.

We all decided to call it a night and get a fresh start tomorrow, well, at least me and rufus did,

I can't say the same for Kim and Ron. They were too busy living out the biggest, and oldest,

Japanese roleplay fantasy us foreigners have had since we reached puberty, the emperor and

the geisha. Even though my room had wall-to-wall sound proofing, I could still hear them, going

at it like a couple of Jackrabbits in their "March Madness" type heat. That was what happened

last night, and before this becomes a "Lemon" fan fiction, I'll fast forward to the following morning.

Parent folk, you'll thank me for this.

E.T.: What in the name of Mario Lemieux are those two on, Cialis and caffiene?

I regretfully decided to go from my room to theirs, and knock on the door, but fortunately, as luck

would have it, whatever they were doing had died down, and to my good fortune, Ron answered

the door while in a bath robe, at least he was semi-decent.

Ron: (looking like the cat that swallowed the canary) Oh, good morning, E.T., come on in,

I hope you slept well.

E.T.: (with a deadpan look on his face) How could you think I slept well when I could hear the both

of you making like rabbits in the middle of the night? You two kept me up till the wee hours of the

morning with your raucous lovemaking. Normally, I'm one for good old American romance as much as the next guy, but what I heard last night was loud enough to wake the dead.

Kim: (sheepish smile on her face) Sorry if we kept you up, but after that street brawl last night, we

got excited, really excited, and then we got carried away.

E.T.: (incredulous to the max) No duh, and you two still owe me a bottle of sake by the way. You

guys act like a married couple on a honeymoon or something.

All of a sudden, my train of thought was interrupted by a familiar and kooky little party animal, and

I don't mean Spuds MacKenzie.

Rufus: (at the very top of the cheese fondue fountain) Hnk, Banzai!

Rufus had done a triple twist swan dive, into a half-gator, and finished with a 1080 degree inverted

cannonball into the cheese fondue. That is one talented naked mole-rat.

E.T.: (in an announcer's impersonation, ala Michael Buffer) The olympic free-diving gold medal

goes to Rufus the Naked Mole-Rat! Nice form, and an amazingly easy landing, there's a good

chance he'll be the next Michael Phelps.

Kim: Okay, enough with the Olympic antics, let's get to the business at hand.

Ron: Yeah, you readyto do some cyber sleuthing or what?

E.T.: Already on it, Ronald, my good man. I contacted Wade and asked him to transmit the

files on these e-mails into my Becker-Com, so we can track this sea-urchin through the waves of

cyber-space, and bust him at his own game.

As I ready my personally designed and built computer, which I had invented myself using spare

bits-and-pieces from various computers and home console videogame systems, the members of

Team Possible all gathered around me as we waited for Wade's transmission. To say that the

tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife would be an apt analogy, to say the least.

E.T.: Okay, I've got all the files, but it looks like every server was used to send the e-mails, hold

on, I think I can narrow the search down with a trinary decryption program and running them by

through a Le Grange algorithm. Then, I'll wire a worm program into the trail or trails of this server

network, and have it copy all the files within its CD-ROM and CD-RAM file storage programs, just to help build a solid case against your "Emperor Draculoid" cretin. It should only take a few hours, at the least, but we should have the identity and I.P. adress of our culprit soon enough. So, who's up for a little sight seeing while we wait for the data to compile?

When I turn my head to Ron & Kim, they were sucking eachother's faces like no tomorrow, and

that's when I started laying down the law, because if somebody doesn't do it soon, they might

end up with a little bun in Kim's oven.

E.T.: (outraged beyond belief) Alright you two, I've had it up to here, either you start focusing

on the sitch at hand, or else you're gonna end up living out a George A. Romero slasher flick,

with me playing the part of the psycho-crazed killer, is that clear?

When they heard my tirade, they reluctantly stopped their romantic activities. I've no qualms

about getting it on with my honey like Marvin Gaye, but I'd much rather do it in moderation.

Kim &Ron: (in apologetic unison) Sorry, E.T., won't happen again.

When those looked at me with a sad look in their eyes, I felt so bad, I almost forgot to jinx them,

almost.

E.T.: Jinx, you owe me another sake. Now you two get dressed, and please, in the interest of all

professionalism, do it seperately, for Pete's sake.

Ron: Right, whatever you say, Broha.

E.T.: (calmer than before) Alright, just keep your heads in the game, okay?

Kim: We'll try, but we can't make any guaranties.

E.T.: That's all I ask. By the way, Ron, you've probably got the biggest equipment imaginable.

Ron: (turning beet red) Yeah, that's what Kimila tells me every night.

E.T.: Oh yeah, since when?

Kim: Since I turned eighteen.

E.T.: Oh, well whatever you do in the bedroom is your business, not mine. Next time, keep it

down to a roar, okay?

Ron & Kim: We'll try to.

E.T.: Jinx, you owe me a good night's sleep.

After the two got dressed, we took a tour of Kabuki-cho, Harajuku, the Meiji Shrine, Rakuguen

Park, the Natsu no Matsuri, and my favorite part of Tokyo, Akihabara. We even checked out a

couple stores and cafe type restaurants, to get ourselves immersed into the culture, then there

was the time when we sat next to the Emperor of Japan during a Sumo match, featuring the

famous Akebono. It was awesome. We finished it all off with dinner at a ninja themed restaurant,

just for the hell of it. I just hoped the Ninja there had stocked up on their sake, which is traditional

Japanese rice wine. The taste of which is smooth as a babies bare bottom, while the alcoholic

content was enough to knockout a full grown bull for up to seven days. It was then that Team

Possible learned my deep, dark, and most hidden secret of all: I can't hold my liquor. Oddly

enough, after my second bottle of sake, I went out like a light while I was conversing to them

about my all time favorite anime/manga franchise, which was called "Bio-Booster Armor Guyver",

and went on a riff on the similarities between it and many aspects of the Christian Bible. The kind

tennagers whom entered into adulthood had arranged for a taxi to pick us up and take us back to

our hotel, all the while, affording me enough wits to walk up to our rooms and call it a night, but my

personally invented computer had other ideas, as it had finished it's programmed tasks and had

alerted us of this.

Meanwhile, in Ginza district, Tokyo

Kirimaru: (bat shit crazy and livid) What do you mean he got away, and where's my father, for that

matter?

Yakuza thug #3: (about to mess himself) We're sorry to inform you that the Baka Gaijin had been

able to escape, and that your father had been arrested, along with sixty of our best soldiers within

our Yakuza.

Kirimaru: (makes Alec Baldwin on a bad day seem mellow) WHAT, THEY WERE ARRESTED,

AND YOU DID NOTHING TO BAIL THEM OUT?

Yakuza thug #4: (scared for dear life) Please understand the situation, Kirimaru-sama, he had

outside help in the form of Team Possible, and that your father was going to kill an innocent little

girl in front of her own parents.

Kirimaru: (shocked in disbelief) No, you're lying, father wouldn't do that. He's an honorable man,

he wouldn't do such a thing that would bring shame on to our Yakuza.

Yakuza thug #5: (relieved that his boss calmed down a bit) But it's all over the news, take a look.

The yakuza thug then turned on the television and tuned into a t.v. news station showing a story

on how Team Possible and E.T. Becker had singlehandedly fought off sixty yakuza hoods, while

their leader hid in the crowd of on-lookers, and when they came after him, he ran like the late,

great Jesse Owens ran from the I.R.S., only to take an innocent girl as a hostage. The now

disgraced Oyabun was finally brought down by the so called Baka Gaijin before the little girl was

injured or killed. All that happened last night, but for Kirimaru, the damage brought to his family

felt like it happened only just now.

Kirimaru: (in a repentant tone) Oh, dear Kami-sama, why would father do something so cowardly

like that? We must find this E.T. Becker and his friends from Team Possible, then beg for their

forgiveness, and if necessary, commit Seppuku before them.

They did find us by the way, before we boarded our flight back to America, and did in fact, beg

for our forgiveness. Then the whole bunch of them brought out their tanto daggers, and pointed

the business ends to their stomachs, but we stopped them from going through with their Seppuku

ritual,saying that their apologies were more than enough. That they didn't have to pay the debt we

were owed, and that they should continue living on, as special Japanese informants for the one

and only Team Possible, I'm glad to say that they humbly accepted the generous offer. Then we

all bowed and said our fond farewells, and while Kirimaru and his group left the airport in peace,

I turned around and said that we'd meet again.

E.T.: (looking dramatically at Kirimaru as he left) Mata aou ze, ore no tomodachi.

Kim: ( looking back at E.T.) Okay, what the deuce did you just say to him?

E.T.: (still in a dramatic pose) I told him we'd meet again.

Ron: (also looking back at E.T.) Oh, that's what I thought you said. Come on, the planes boarding

and we gotta get back to the U.S.A. before dinner.

Kim: (walking towards the entrance of the plane with us) By the way, did your computer find any

evidence as to who our mysterious e-mail heckler really is?

E.T.: (feeling like death himself walked right up to him) Yes, but I'll only tell you when we get to the

Global Justice headquarters and get your friends, families, and the families of your friends, into

the G.J. safehouses. Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

Ron: (surprised at his speech) But, why G.J.?

E.T.: Because, well, not to reveal my trade secret, but, in order to have a get-out-of-jail-free card,

at least when my hacking is concerned, I took a job building and maintaining Global Justice issued

equipment and technology.

Kim: (floored by this development) Just how much did you invent for them, anyways?

E.T.: (running to the plane) All of it, the whole shebang, the kit n' kaboodle, the whole ten yards,

why do you ask?

Ron: (in a sense of surprise that boarders between shock and awe) You mean to tell us that you

invented all of the gear that G.J. uses? Why didn't you tell us?

E.T.: (in a nonchalant yet humble tone) Oh, you know my auntie Betty, for your eyes only and need to know basis. I imagine that if G.J. had in fact found out about those anonymous e-mails that you, your friends, and your family had recieved, there would be some next level cloak-and-dagger type stuff going down right now.

As we boarded the plane, we just so happen to bump into an innocent civilian boarding the same

plane. He looked like a college professor of some type, at least, to me he did.

Fellow passenger: Oh, gomen kudasai, suimasen. (Oh, sorry about that, excuse me.)

E.T.: Hajime mashite, hai doozu. (That's alright, go right ahead.)

Passenger: (bewildered) You spoke japanese just now, and quite perfectly for a foreigner, too.

I must say I'm impressed. What's your name, stranger?

E.T.: Ore no namae wa Edward Thurston Becker desu ka. (My name is Edward Thurston Becker)

Who might you be, kind sir?

Passenger: Oh, my name's Takeshi Hongo, and I'm a college professor from the University of Tokyo originally, but now, I'm transfering to the University of Colorado. Wait a minute, I've heard about you, you're the Olympic Gold Medalist of Kendo, the one who saved a little girl from a crazed Yakuza boss, and helped Team Possible fight off all of his goons.

E.T.: (smug yet modest smile on his face) It would appear my reputation preceeds me. But, that's enough about me, allow me to introduce you to my new friends, Kim Possible, her boyfriend, Ron

Stoppable, and their partner/mascot, Rufus. Say hello, gang.

After Team Possible finished their individual greetings/introductions, the five of us, if you count little Rufus, had all boarded the plane and took our seats, fortunately, I opted to sit between Ron & Kim, just to make sure thet didn't get those urges. Thankfully, it worked like a charm and didn't put them off one bit. We had to make a couple of stops in Honolulu, and Los Angeles though, but they kept themselves in mission mode the whole way through. After we made it to Middleton International Airport, we procured a stretch limousine, and invited to give Takeshi a ride to an old friend of his, who's living in Downtown Middleton, a man by the name of Tobei Tachibana. Then, we contacted Wade, as well as Global Justice, and told them to set up some safehouses for the innocent victims of this elaborate act of cyber-terrorism. We also notified the families of Team Possible, friends of Kim & Ron, and the families of their friends, that G.J. agents would pick them up, and relocate them to undisclosed adresses for the G.J. safehouses. I only hope we're in time, especially if it's to prevent the loss of innocent people and children.

Well, that's another chapter done with, remember folks, read and review, and you'll get a free

virtual cookie, if it's a good review, I'll treat you to a virtual meal, with all the fixings. So, keep

reading and reviewing till the next chapter, same Rider-Time, same Rider-Channel.


	3. Chapter 3

Announcer: (after most of the trial between E.T. Becker, whom wisely got Edgar

Snyder to represent him, and Michael Eisner, whom is representing himself) How

do you do? Roger Goldthwaite reporting to you from the Allegheny County Hall of

Justice where the Executives of Disney are suing a local fan fiction writer who is

going by the name of RiderV3Stoppable, for illegal use of the characters from the

defunct Disney Channel original animated television series, Kim Possible. We've

heard testimony from several of the voice actors/actresses of the series, including

Christy Carlson Romano, Nicole Sullivan, and Nancy Cartwright. Surprisingly, the

whole cast and crew, including those who actually created the series, spoke in full

favor for the young internet literarian, saying that he did infact write out clear and

affirmative disclaimers before hand, albeit, in a humorous and entertaining way.

They also attest to the fact that his story is meant to be a simple hobby, for his

enjoyment, and not to profit from the series or it's creators, but his fate could still

take a turn for the worst. If Michael Eisner manages to swing the jury to his way

of thinking with is closing cross examination of the defendant, the defendant will

have to face jailtime, as well as an enormous debt, and a banishment of his story

from , while rousting support for the S.O.P.A. bill, which has been

overturned in Congress, as well as The House of Representatives. If he fails, he

will have to bring back the show in all of it's entirety, including all four seasons,

and the television movies, as well as bring the show's creators back on, with a full

raise in their salaries, of course, and add on the much anticipated fifth season.

Furthermore, he'll have to pay the defendant/counter-plaintiff a sizeable amount

of money for restitution in a counter-suit for defamation of character and a filing of

a wrongful suit against him, one to the tune of five hundred-million dollars. Let's

go inside the courtroom for the final statements.

Judge: Alright, we've heard everything from the witnesses, and the litigants, we

will take a brief recess to grab a Primanti's Sandwich, or something, that is, if

the prosecution doesn't have another cross examination for the counter-plaintiff.

Michael Eisner: Yes, I do. Mister Becker, you claim you've written this piece of

fan fiction for your own enjoyment and those of whoever reads it on the website

known as , and not to profit from the intellectual properties of the

Disney corporation, or the series creators, themselves?

E.T. Becker: (in a calm decorum) Yes, that is true.

Michael Eisner: (smug and arrogant look of superiority on his face) Then you had

no intention of using your brother-in-law from your eldest sister's side to force me

upon threat of bodily harm, to give you the rights to the series, so that you, and

you alone, would greenlight season five, with stories for the episodes, written by

your fellow fan fiction writers, and a bigger budget, to ruin the Disney corporation

once and for all.

Edgar Snyder: (enfuriated) Objection, your honor, we've all clearly established

that Eisner paid Mister Tyrone Michaels to record his voice, and have his cop

friends do an illegal wire tap on my client's cellphone, to record conversations

and splice pieces from those recordings with those made by Michaels, whose

violent tendencies, willingness to break protocol and fabricate evidence, and

callous disregard for human rights, human life, and proper police conduct and

proceedure, has left him to be let off of the force in Duquesne.

Judge: Sustained, please be aware of your line of questioning, Mr. Eisner, or

I'll declare your lawsuit to be a mistrial, and award Mister Becker a full one

billion dollars, is that understood?

Eisner: (fuming on the inside, but outside, cool as ice) Yes, your honor.

Mister Becker, we all know you come from dire straights, and earn a

measley income from S.S.I./S.S.D., and yet you use our intellectual properties

for your fantastic adventures, well written as they may be, while you, yourself,

don't have written consent, or authorization, for that matter. Ergo, you sir, are

stealing our characters, and using them to profit and gain notoriety and fame.

E.T. Becker: (still in a calm mood) Sir, if you've read the story clearly presented

to you, you would've read the disclaimer, which clearly states that I, E.T. Becker,

being of sound mind and body, do here by declare, that aside from a few original

characters here and there, that I do not own any of the intellectual properties that

are mentioned, and that this merely for enjoyment and amusement, but not for my

profit or gain. These tactics to which you're resorting to are doing all that for me,

while damaging your public image as an honest, decent, businessman, and a

friend to the people. Let's say, for example, suing me for billions of dollars and

forcing the S.O.P.A. bill to be ratified by going after innocent fan fiction writers

such as myself. Then there's the fact that you had to resort to working with a

racist ex-cop with a penchant for violence and an ax to grind with me, not to

mention, he'd even sell his own children if it would bring him big bucks in the end.

There is also the fact that you failed in keeping the Power Rangers franchise from

nearly going extinct, if Nickelodeon and Saban Brands hadn't stepped in, who can

tell what would've happened to America's favorite superheroes in multi-colored

outfits.

The whole courtroom was gasping in shock at what they heard. Eisner's plan to

bring an end to the Americanization of Super Sentai had hit a snag when Saban

Brands had bought it back, and sold it to the Nickelodeon network. Mikey had

to recover, and fast, but he ended up losing his composure anyway.

Eisner: (losing his temper) Did you intend to profit from the intellectual properties

of the Disney corporation or not? Did you plan to steal hard earned money from

my employees by leeching off of the fame and notoriety of the Kim Possible series or not? That's what I want to know.

Edgar Snyder: Objection, your honor, the prosecution is trying to railroad my client into incriminating himself, and making this case into a media circus.

E.T.: (still as cold as a cucmber) It's alright, Mr. Snyder, I'll answer his question.

You want me to say that I planned to make money off of your fictional characters,

despite all the disclaimers I made before each and every chapter, and while I'm still under oath, you want me to say that making fan fictions is evil, and that I tried to cash in on your series, despite all my best efforts to let the readers know that I do not own any of the characters except the ones I've created myself, and that sites like are evil, because of what you accuse me of doing, and that they should be shutdown permanantely, or is it because you, your fat-cat friends in Washington, and all the facists who support the S.O.P.A. bill deem it so? Just what is it that you want?

Eisner: (dead on impersonation of Tom Cruise) I want the truth.

E.T.: (in a Jack Nicholson impersonation) You can't handle the truth!

Eisner: Just try me.

E.T.: Fine, you want the truth, well here it is. The truth is that big-wig T.V.

networks like Disney get rid of shows all the time, instead of continuing

the legends and mythologies these shows have made. Unless it's to make

a mediocre spin-off series to tie in to the original series. The only exception

to that universal rule is the series, "Law and Order", which spawned two very

popular and successful spin-off series, and only one failed spin-off. In my

personal views, two out of three ain't bad. Then there's series like "The Suite

Life of Zack and Cody", and it's nautical tourism themed brother, "The Suite Life

On Deck", which is a forced spin-off of a show that's meant to exploit the express

commercialism of the Hotel industry, except, instead of the Hotel business, it

makes exploitive reference to Commercial Cruise Lines, even the family oriented

cruise line owned by the Disney corporation. Almost all of big business itself,

as a whole, is owned by one or more politician in office, not only in Washington

D.C., but in every capital, of each state, in the whole nation of America. That

includes Hawaii and Alaska as well. Imagine how many of those same politicians

own stock in big-wig television networks, if you will. That's a lot, if you ask me.

This means that if these politicians want to edit something on T.V., the networks

get it done, however, if those same T.V. networks want a bill that stifles a person's creativity in continuing or adding on to the legends and mythologies of the shows we know and love, to become law, who do you think comes through for them? I'll tell you who, the same politicians who support the S.O.P.A. bill, that's who. Ladies and gentlemen of the court, if you still find me guilty of these crimes,

despite the lengths of desperation that Mr. Eisner is willing to stoop to, then you

all will be doing people like him a favor, and kill off all the legends and mythologies that, as children, we grew up with. Once they're gone forever, we may never again be able to pass down the lessons and cherished memories of these stories to the future generations to come. That alone would be a great disservice, to me, to you, and to the future.

The entire courtroom was in a dead silence at what they heard E.T. Becker say to

them. They listened in rapture and awe at his amazing responses to the corrupt

Disney Executive's condemning questions. They listened to him express how

passionate, profound, and deeply he felt for the art of fan fiction as a writer, a poet, and an artist. They were overcome with emotion from hearing his heartfelt defense of not only himself and his fan fiction, but for fan fiction writers of all series, and of all nations. The silence was only broken when Michael Eisner said that there were no further questions.

Judge: (tears in his eyes) Let's take that long overdue recess, shall we? Court's in recess.

As he bangs his gavel, the judge himself fails to hide any emotion, especially after

hearing such a passionate defense from such an intelligent young man. When the recess was over, everyone filed back into the courtroom, ready to hear whatever verdict may be rendered, and to whom it falls upon. The court hears the closing statements of both Edgar Snyder and Michael Eisner, the former relegating the brilliant and honorable defense of his client, along with his heartfelt speech which warned of the evils of big name T.V. networks and their connections to the State and Federal Governments, and S.O.P.A. as a law. The latter, preaching nothing but fire and brimstone to fan fiction writers, despite his obvious misdeeds in the courtroom, of which he embellished as "Necessary Evils". When they were done, the judge was ready to hear the verdicts.

Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?

The Foreman of the jury: We have, your honor.

Judge: How do you find?

Head Juror: We find Edward Thurston Becker, not guilty.

Everyone in the courtroom cheered as they heard the verdict for the fan fiction

writer, now it was Eisner's turn in the proverbial hot seat.

Judge: In Michael Eisner's case, how do you find?

Head Juror: We the jury, find Michael Eisner, guilty of all charges, including

purgery and conspiracy to unlawful imprisonment of an innocent party.

Judge: The sentence is a settlement of one billion dollars, as well as court fees

and direct payment to Mr. Becker's defense attorney for services rendered. An

additional sentence of jailtime in a maximum security prison of my choice is also

rendered in effect for both you and your star witness, meaning you, Mr. Eisner,

will be sharing a cell with Tyrone Michaels, and also, it'll be for no more than ten

years, no less than five years, and will have no parole, no early release for good

behavior, and no pardon. The two of you need to be made accountable for your

failed attempt at collusion of the court. Furthermore, the Disney corporation is

here by ordered to create season five of Kim Possible, in addition to hiring on

the show's creators, to help write more episodes for the fifth season, and give

said creators a monthly raise in their salaries. As the judge presiding over this

case, I here by declare this court adjourned, and this hearing, impared, HA!

E.T.: (looking like the cat that swallowed the canary) As the great William Friedle

would put it best, booyah, baby, booyah.

Eisner: (being cuffed and escorted out along with Tyrone Michaels) I would've

gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling fan fiction writer and his dumb

bird.

Tyrone: (facing E.T.) This ain't over, you fucking retard, I'll get out somehow, and

when I do, I'll fucking end you. Do you hear me? Huh, you fucking retard, I'll slit

your fucking throat, reach into the slit, and yank your fucking retarded tongue out

through it. I'll find you, I know where you live. No law will convict me for it either.

I'm above the law, and I've got big friends in high places. You can't stop me.

E.T.: (to the judge) Can I sue him for making terroristic threats and slander? He's

sounding like a broken record featuring the very best lines of the Ku Klux Klan.

Judge: You may not only sue him and win, but have him convicted for life over it,

as well.

Tyrone's eyes had bugged out, this was the third strike E.T. had waited for.

All Tyrone had to do was open his big, fat, hate-filled mouth like it was Seven Eleven. It was then he knew his fate was sealed, and that he would never again taste the sweet air of freedom. He fucked up beyond all recognition.

Tyrone: Oh shit!

E.T.: See ya never, Ty-ty.

Well, dear reader, I hope you've enjoyed my first foray into courtroom dramas,

as well as my thoughts and views on the S.O.P.A. bill, and those responsible

for coming up with the damned thing in the first place, and this only the disclaimer. If you're a true fan of good old K.P., please enjoy this next chapter. Don't forget to read and review though, otherwise, how can I improve on my writing style. I mean, besides proofreading the hell out of this story, and writing in short, controlled, and thoughtful bursts like this one. This disclaimer is also an homage to the classic climactic scene of "A Few Good Men", if it wasn't already obvious. Oh well, back to the same old grind for this slave. Lord, give me strength. P.S.: I do not own Edgar Snyder, for he's an extremely popular and successful injury lawyer from the Pittsburgh area in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania. Go, Steelers!

_**Chapter three: The talented Mr. Becker**_

We began a massive evacuation & relocating plan for the families and friends of Team Possible

the very next morning. After notifying Global Justice of what I found out, I asked Betty to go into

Alpha Level Protocol Omega, which states that relocation of potential victims of a terroristic, or

criminal attempt, or designation, of a contract, serial, or combined killing, is mandatorily and

absolutely imperitive, and if there's more than one potential victim in a single area, they must be

transported to "The Village". The Village is an underground facility the size of an entire first-world

metropolitan city, like my hometown of Pittsburgh, only it's underneath the earth's crust. This one

relocation plan is the lynchpin of securing witnesses, foreign dignitaries, and innocent victims of

criminal/terroristic intimidation & threats. It has all the luxuries and amennities of home, and an

artificial sun of my own design, construction, and invention. In other words, it's the most secure,

and safest, of all other safe-havens in the world today. In retrospect, we should've used this when

Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, but old G.W. had to exclude G.J. assistance from the Katrina

Relief Effort, Stupid Jag-off!

E.T.: (talking to Wade through the Kimmunicator) Wade, it's Ed, we need an update on Operation:

Feed The Dog. Has Betty gotten to all the victims that "Emperor Draculoid" has sent e-mails to?

Wade: I'm getting the progress report on the A.L.P.O. as we speak, hold on a moment, eureka,

I've got it! Good news, guys, all of the victims and their families have been picked up, along with

the relatives of Team Possible, and are currently being transported to "The Village" right this very

second. Anything else, Agent Becker, or is it Doctor Becker?

E.T.: How about calling me "E.T." for the time being.

Wade: Fair enough! By the way, Kim, both you and Ron had been accepted into every college

and university imaginable, which one would you two lovebirds want to go to? I need to know so

I can send word of your attendance to their college.

Kim: How about we go to the University of Colorado, I hear it's got a great culinary program, and

it's one of, if not, the best legal/paralegal in the state, plus there's coed dorms and facilities, which

would be great for our "Extra-cirricular Activities", if you know what I mean.

Thank whoever created me for putting me inbetween them.

Ron: (sort of on the fence about it) I don't know, do they allow pets, Wade?

Wade: (talking to Ron) Of course they do. They've even got a Football Scholarship program and

everything. You'd be a fool to pass this chance up.

Ron: (decidedly) Alright, I'm in, but only because I wanna be close to my bon-diggity girlfriend, and

get a quality education at the same time.

Kim: (thinking)_ Yes, that's the kind of answer that I needed to hear. I love you, Ron, more than_

_words can say._

E.T.: (thankful and elated at the same time) That's good to hear, because when this is all blown

over, the two of yins will be college bound in no time. Driver, take the next exit, then head into

the "Shortcut" to "The Village", if you would, please?

The driver heard my instructions, but for some odd reason, he ignored them, and drove past the

exit, and straight into Lowerton instead. That's when everything got fishy like the state, or region

persay, of Denmark.

E.T.: (in a slight stateof alarm) Hey, driver, you just missed that exit back there.

Wade: (as alarmed as E.T. is) What's going on out there?

Ron: (getting miffed as hell) E.T.'s driver is acting the fool, that's what!

Kim: (stoically calm) Wade, we need you to track us down and call in G.J. for us, because I'm

smelling a rat somewhere, and it ain't E.T., either.

Wade: Okey-dokey, Artichokey, I'll get right on it, Wade Load, out.

E.T.: (in a state of worry) Uh, guys, I think I know where he's taking us, and it ain't exactly the

safest inner-city community in the world. In fact, this place has more fatalities than Philidelphia,

and a fatality rate higher than the national average. I'll give you three guesses as to where we're

going.

Kim & Ron: (in perfect deadpanned unison) Lowerton!

E.T.: (a little calmer than before while looking out the window) Bingo!

All of a sudden, a strange sense of nostalgia for the Hulk Hogan movie, "No Holds Barred",

overcame me, and I knew we had only one option left if all others fail.

E.T.: Driver, this isn't the way to "The Village", you're going the wrong way.

It was then that the driver flipped us the bird, and activated an inch thick separation plate made out of 100% Pittsburgh steel. Yup, definately "No Holds Barred".

Kim: E.T., you take the right door, Ron, have Rufus climb into the frontside of the limo through the

rear seat in front of us, then see what you can do about the moonroof, I'll take the left door.

E.T.: (in a perfect impersonation of Scotty, from Star Trek) Aye, Lassie!

Ron: I've got you covered, K.P., no big!

While me and K.P. tried to open the side doors of the limousine, Ron had Rufus dig past the cusion of the rear seat that faced us, to get into the cab of the limo.

Ron: Alright, little buddy, you know what to do.

Rufus: Hnk, sick balls!

Ron: That's right, Rufus, you take care of the controls, and we'll try and find a way out.

Rufus:(in a full on salute) Hnk, Roger-roger!

Rufus went to do his part, while the three of us, being the trapped passengers we are, tried

in vain to open the doors and moonroof, only to discover that they were being controlled from

the driver's dashboard panel. Ingenious, isn't it?

E.T.: (downtrodden) No luck on my door, K.P., how about you?

Kim: (depressed) Same as you, any ideas, Ronnie-kins?

Ron: (determined as hell) Well, the bad news is I'm having the same luck as you on this

moonroof, but the good news is I know someone has a little explaination as to why.

E.T.: (as if he was in A.A.) My name is Edward Thurston Becker, and I'm a terminal grade

paranoia afflictee.

Kim: (in a calm sounding voice) High-tech security measures and bulletproofing all over,

right?

I nod to confirm her worst fears about this situation.

Kim: (still in her calm voice) The controls are in the dashboard, aren't they?

I nod again, afraid for my very life to speak a single word, or incur the wrath of a Possible

scorned.

Kim: (calm at first, then in a panic) Okay, we all need to remain calm here, we're gonna get

out of this, alive and intact. (deepbreath, and cue the panic) OHMYGODWE'RENOTGETTING

OUTOFTHISALIVEANDIT'SALLBECAUSEASUPERGENUSHADABI TOFPARANOIAANDNOW

WE'REALLGOINGTODIE!

Ron: (eyes starting to glow blue, and getting angrier by the second) Can't you hack into the

controls with your uber-computer, or something?

E.T.: (afraid of what'll happen next) N-N-Negative, the c-c-c-controls are h-h-h-hacker-proof,

even against m-m-my computer.

Ron: (while turning into a golden furred anthropomorphic monkey) Then there's our ace in the hole, Rufus is up front, in the driver's compartment. Even he'll need some kick-butt back-up though.

With that said, we hear the driver scream in pain, with a voice that's known only to me, and to Ron, that was the signal to start kicking in the separation panel, leaving massive dents in it as he did.

E.T.: (scared stupid) WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO RON?

Kim: (a lot calmer than before) Oh that, well, ever since the Lowardian Invasion, Ron gained control over some sort of energy within him, it's known as Mystical Monkey Power, and it comes out when it's absolutely needed.

E.T.: (surprised and shocked) YOU MEAN THAT HE HULKS OUT, SUPER SAIYAN STYLE, AND GOES APE SHIT CRAZY ON ANYONE WHO THREATENS HIMSELF, HIS FRIENDS, HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, YOU? NO WONDER THE LOWARDIANS GOT FRIED!

In the driver's compartment, the driver was having a hell of a time trying to drive while a little naked mole-rat was in his groin area, biting and gnawing at the same time, and the separation panel was being riddled with dents, scaring the living shit out of him. Somehow, Rufus managed to get to the dashboard's control panel, unlocking the passenger doors and moonroof, allowing us our freedom.

Driver: (in an excrutiating amount of pain and a soprano voice) OUCH, YOU FREAKY LOOKING

HAIRLESS RODENT, THAT WAS THE ONLY TESTICLE I HAVE LEFT GODDAMN IT, WHEN I

FIND YOU, I'LL KILL YOU, GUT YOU, CLEAN YOU, FILLET YOU, STUFF YOU WITH A DOZEN

HERBS AND SPICES, AND GRILL YOU UNTIL YOU'RE A CRISPY, GOLDEN BROWN!

With that being said, the driver destroyed the control panel, not knowing that he ensured our rescue even further, while Rufus had completed his mission, and stealthily retreated to the rear of the limo. All of the sudden, Rufus popped out of the rear seat that faced us, with a big smile on

his face and a thumbs-up.

E.T.: Rufus, am I glad to see you! What happened in there?

Rufus: Hnk, one ball, hunchback!

E.T.: Thanks Rufus, you've confirmed my suspicions. Why don't you take five, little buddy?

Rufus: Hnk, hokay!

E.T.: Well, Kim, I've gotta hunch as to who our mystery driver really is. It's none other than

my medically afflicted, yet criminally genius little brother, Bobby.

Kim: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that you have an evil little brother, and that he's as

smart as you?

E.T.: (smug as a housecat) Yeah, well, as an inventor, and a hacker, he's just another hack,

in my honest opinion.

Ron: (still in the throes off M.M.P. enhanced rage) Nobody hurts K.P., nobody!

E.T.: You know, if I had a scouter to read his power level, I would have to say that it's over nine

thousand. Oh, one more thing, Rufus were you able to unlock the doors.

Rufus: Hnk, uh-huh, uh-huh!

E.T.: Good news, Kim, Rufus unlocked us, we're gonna make it.

Kim: Good, because there's an old abandoned factory that we're pulling into right now.

E.T.: Oh crap, nostalgia reaching critical levels, I'm about to geek out here.

Kim: Whate do you mean?

E.T.: Does the movie title, "No Holds Barred", mean anything to you?

Kim: What does the name of a movie have to do with anything?

Voice in E.T.'s computer: When you're dealing with a cinemaphile of Quentin Tarantino

levels, you have to understand that he alone holds the key to your survival, but if you don't,

there's the chance that you'll be killed, along with him.

E.T.: (opens up the BeckerCom to reveal a good-looking bald headed man with a tan, wearing

a Global Justice uniform, and in his late forties, or early fifties) Tyrone Michaels, I'd say it's a big

pleasure seeing your ugly face again, but then I'd be lying.

Tyrone Michaels: Ah, E.T. Becker, you little spacecase, and here I thought with all that brilliance

inside that head of yours, you would help to fashion weapons for my unit and our allies at the Klan,

but I guess you proved me wrong again, despite the "incentive" I left you the last time we met.

E.T.: I guess Auntie Betty doesn't share the same warped views of the world as you do, especially

since I added my two cents about your death threat, and you and your "Cleaner" unit coming into

my lab, trashing the place, and beating me up, just because I wouldn't build lethal weapons for

the Ku Klux Klan, and your unit to use, in your holy and sacred race war, to the endless list of

civilian, agency, and criminal complaints, she felt a permanent suspension without pay, and an

investigation into your activities and homelife, followed by a pending inquiry before a tribunal,

would be adequate punishment for you. If you were to get dishonorably discharged, or executed

because of it, I'll be laughing my ass off all the way to your funeral.

Tyrone: Pity, this was indeed your very last chance to accept our "generous" offer, but since

you've chosen to protect the more inferior races of the human gene pool, you'll have to share the

same fate as your new found friends from the infamous Team Possible unit, and die like that very

expendable and worthless Jew dog, Ron Stoppable, but not before me and my men have our way

with Ms. Possible, right in front of your very eyes.

Ron: (sounding more and more like Broly from D.B.Z.) NOBODY HURTS MY K.P. AND LIVES,

THEY WILL KNOW ONLY HELL BEFORE THEY DIE!

Tyrone: (surprised and shocked) What...the shitting fuck...was that...just now?

E.T.: (turning the BeckerCom to Ron) Oh, no one special, just Kim's boyfriend, Ron Stoppable,

turning into a real life Oozaru, he's going to kill you. By the way, Ty, I had the BeckerCom record

our entire conversation, and save it onto a flash drive, and I'll add it to the evidence for the case

against you and your men, if you can call them men. They look like a bunch of Third Reich reject

pussies, if you ask me.

When Tyrone gets a look at what Ron Stoppable had turned into, needless to say, he had a 1-2

combo of his own, and I ain't talking about Boxing either.

Tyrone: Oh, fuck all kinds of duck!

E.T.: (smugly with a hint of pride) Add another nail to the proverbial coffin, P.S.: We can get out

now, so bring an umbrella and a squad of ambulances, and expect a 35% chance of rain, and a

100% chance of pain, smell ya' later, alligator.

As the transmission ended, I worked quickly to disable all of Ty's lines of communication to his

men, of whom were surrounding the limo like they were a pack of wild indians in a spaghetti

western, and we were the wagon train.

E.T.: Okay, Kim, I disabled the lines of communication between Agent Michaels and his men,

now for the hard part, convincing your beau that I'm on your side before they gang up on us, like

those idiots did to Hulk Hogan's character in "No Holds Barred", then have your superpowered

lover run wild on those Neo-Nazi rejects like Hulkamania.

Kim: That's all well and good, but they're closing in fast.

E.T.: Then I'll work fast, then. Okay, Ron, I want you to listen to me for a moment or two,

can you spare that much?

Ron: (in full-on M.M.P. mode) AS LONG AS YOU'RE NO TRYING TO HURT K.P., I'LL LISTEN.

E.T.: Good, now I want you to relax, take a couple deep breaths, and countdown from ten, all the

way to one.

As Ron did as I instructed, he became less and less like the giant monkey from D.B.Z., and more

and more like himself again. That makes what I have to tell him about the locks on the doors and

moonroof easier, and that's what I did, then he calmed down even further, the blue glow in his

eyes was fading. Now comes the hard part, telling him about a bunch of Neo-Nazis waiting out

in a circle, fully armed to the teeth, looking to rape his girlfriend and make us watch the whole thing, and then kill the whole lot of us afterwards. I broke the news to him, and then he told me to get Kim and Rufus out of there when the brawling starts, and I agreed to it.

Kim: Are you sure you can handle this?

E.T.: (insert Sledge Hammer cue here) Trust me, Kimmy, I know what I'm doing.

No sooner than when I delivered that corny one-liner, Ron had jumped up through the moonroof,

shattering it into little pieces, and onto the roof of the limo, ready to take on any and all comers.

Cue the righteous '80's retro-rock fight scene music, because this is gonna be one hell of a non-

stop slobber-knocker.

_**("I Got A Line On You" By Alice Cooper)**_

As Ron was mopping the floor with Ty's men in a Hulk Hogan inspired brawl with nothing but his

bare hands, and his fusion of Tai-shing Pek-qua and American style Pro-wrestling, I got Kim and

Rufus out of the limo, and away from the fighting. We all opted to safely observe Ron taking a lot

of good hits from his opponents, but he was unphased by them, so he dealt them a bunch of hits

and moves that left them with broken limbs, cracked skulls, and bruised egos. Then I spotted my

baby brother trying to make a run for it, so the three of us decided to join in the fray, with Kim

cracking her knuckles, Rufus chittering about having another go at him, and me, swinging my big

kendo stick like I was Connor MacLeod from "The Highlander", and then Bobby decided he was

safer in the limo,and ran back in it, locking both of the front doors, cowering inside like a little rat.

When Ron had dispatched the last of Agent Michaels' men, he decided to retrieve my brother for

a little personal inquiry of our own, through brute force. He ripped the driver's side door right off

it's hinges, making Bobby shit his pants, and cower even more. Then, Ron forcefully pulled him

out, by the collar of his shirt, and held him up against the wall.

Kim: I get that he's evil, but he's still you're brother! Aren't you gonna help him, or put a stop to

this?

E.T.: (totally confident in Ron's sense of justice) Relax, Kimmy, he knows what he's doing,

besides, this is the best part. Wish I had some popcorn for this, though.

At that, Ron starts sniffing for any gorchy items on Bo-bo's person, and he scowls at him when

he does, in a scowl that rivals good old "Hollywood Hogan".

Ron: (best Hulk Hogan impersonation ever) What's that smell?

Bobby: (sobbing like a scared little two year old who watched "Nightmare on Elm Street")

D-D-D-D-D-Dookie...!?

Ron: Dookie?

E.T.: (smiling like the cheshire cat) See, what'd I tell ya'?

Kim: (trying not to laugh, but failing miserably) Gorchy, just...plain...gorchy!

E.T.: Well, they say, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", but I say, "Don't fuck

with Ron 'The Unstoppable' Stoppable, or he'll straight-up-hardcore-fuck with you".

Rufus: (holding his nose closed, waving his paw from side to side) Hnk, P.U.!

After we calmed Ron down a bit, Global Justice got to the factory and took our statements.

Then they gave us a swift transport to "The Village" and brought Agent Tyrone Michaels in

for questioning, along with my brother, Robert, whom confessed to being hired by Ty to aid

in my untimely demise. Needless to say, things started looking up for us again.

"The Village", location: Undisclosed

Kim: (relieved and curious at the same time) Thanks for giving us a lift, Dr. Director, once again,

things got a little gorchy, but we made it out alright. Sorry about your limo, E.T., I just wish we

could salvage it.

E.T.: (totally nonchalant) Oh, that's okay, I've got ten more just like it. I was more worried for your

safety.

Dr. Director: Spoken like a true Global Justice agent. By the way, E.T., based on the evidence,

and all the statements from the victims, along with this failed assasination attempt, there is a

good chance Tyrone Michaels and his men could face a formal tribunal, and, if found guilty on all

charges, they could face permanent imprisonment in Leavenworth. Congratulations on your win

in the Olympics, that is, before I forget.

E.T.: Thanks a lot, it wasn't easy, but when you get inside your opponent's head, you can read

him like a book.

Tyrone: (indignant and belligerant) You've got to be kidding me, whatever that poindexter with the

bamboo stick says has gotta be a lie, I didn't beat him up while he was in his laboratory that night,

and I sure as hell didn't set up that hit on him last night. All he has on me is conjecture, and he

knows it. He also knows that I didn't threaten him in no way, shape, or form. You've gotta listen

to me because I'm telling you the truth.

E.T.: Well, well, well, if it ain't the Ariyan Airhead himself. What's the matter with you, Ty-ty, are

these meanies roughing you up?

Tyrone: (looks at E.T. with sheer hatred) You, you were the one who framed me, and implicated

me with those barbarians from the K.K.K., then fabricated the evidence, and the security videos,

bribed a couple people into framing me, and ruined my career, along with my reputation. You

then conned Dr. Director into going along with all this, I just know it!

E.T.: (C.A.I.: cool as ice) I've got two points, and only two points to make with you, Chromedome:

1. Just because you'd resort to those kinds of tactics, doesn't mean I would. 2. I hold in my hand

the U.S.B. flash drive that contains the video surveillance footage from inside my lab on the night

of the "Leland Point" incident in Baldwin Township, as well as the incriminating conversation you

and I had on the night of the "Lowerton" incident, and what do you have, except your petty hatred

of me and my beliefs?

Tyrone: (for once in his hate filled life, he's speechless) Um..., uh...!

E.T.: (going on a riff) Plus I've got witness reports from Team Possible themselves, and G.J., as

powerful as they are, trusts them and their word complicitly, and if they go public about what you

did to try and kill me, guess what, C.Y.F. will deem you an unfit parent after a pending inquiry, and

you'll lose all parental rights to Aria and Presley in a flash. You'll also be brought up on charges

of attempted murder, and have to go through the arduous psychological evaluations, and if you're

even lucky enough to be deemed mentally unstable, you'll have to spend the rest of your days in

a padded room at some god forsaken institution while recieving a daily dose of tranquilizers in the

forms of pills and needles, and a daily side order of electro-shock therapy.

Tyrone: (finally loses composure) I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

As Tyrone broke free from the agents who were holding him, he lunged at me, trying to grab hold

of my throat in a deadly chokehold, but I swftly countered, by deflecting his hands, then latching

onto the back of his neck, pulled his head down, and drove my right knee into the bridge of his big

nose, then did a Stonecold Steve Austin style Stunner to finally bring him down. During that time,

he relieved both his bladder and his bowels.

E.T.: You've just been "Becker-Pwned", you skinheaded bitch, and that's the bottom line, because

E.T. 3:16 said so.

Ron: (in a dead-on Chris Tucker impersonation) Damn, you just got knocked the fuck out, bitch!

Rufus: Hnk, Biatacha!

Kim: (in shock and awe) Okay, we've gotta have him on our team, because that so hurricane

rocked in surround sound!

After that, the agents assigned to bring him in had taken him down to processing to get him a

holding cell and a change of clothes, because that Ariyan Asshole stank to hell and back. Once

he cleaned himself up, got dressed, and got medical attention for his busted nose, he was taken

down to the good old interrogation room, where me, Dr. Director and Ron were waiting outside of.

After some much needed coaxing, Auntie Betty broke down and allowed us to interrogate him,

personally. Needless to say, this was one tough cookie to crack.

E.T.: (playing the bad cop) Alright, Sugartits, I wanna know who your contacts in the Ku Klux Klan

are, and, if their working with them, the Ariyan Nation, the Church of the Creator, the White Liberty

Brigade, and every other white supremacy terrorist group that I can think of, and I want it 5 hours

ago, or else I'm gonna have to cut off your little pecker, along with your tiny balls, and feed them

to the sharks, comprehende?

Tyrone: (acting tough) Yeah right, you don't have the stones to do it. Face it, you stupid, little,

Zionistic, Aetheist shit-head, you're weak, like your parents. You don't got what it takes.

E.T.: (pulls out a tanto with a manic look of psychotic glee on his face) YOU WANNA BET?

Ron: (playing the good cop) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy there, Charles Lee Ray.

We need to follow proper proceedure, and we need him alive, and intact, or else G.J.'s legal Dept.

will have a field day with us.

Tyrone: (after messing himself a third time) Y-Y-Y-You see that, he has it out for me. At least

you know how to talk to me, despite being a worthless Jew.

Ron: (begrudgingly) Thanks, I think, now tell us everything you know? The names of your friends

and comrades, how many white supremacy groups are working together, why they need E.T.'s

technology, stuff like that.

Tyrone: (politely) Not until I speak with a lawyer, perhaps that Hank Perkins fellow, he seems

decent enough.

Ron: Could you give us a minute, please?

Tyrone: Of course, take all the time in the world.

E.T.: (turns away from Tyrone and whispers to Ron) He ain't cracking, so I guess plan A is a big,

fat failure.

Ron: (also turns away and in a whisper) Well, we could do like Tango & Cash, and play bad cop,

worse cop. Why don't we give plan A one more try, and if it doesn't pan out, go to plan B.

E.T.: (still whispering) I don't know, I mean this guy's filled with enough hot air, that even if we did

drop him from the top of a skyscraper, literally, he'll probably end up floating to the ground safely

and slowly.

Ron: (whispering still) So, what the fuck else do we do? I mean, Dr. Director gave us cart blanche

authority to interrogate him, but he's closing up tighter than a nun's knees.

E.T.: (whispering again) Well, at the end of the table where Tyrone's sitting at, there's a tiny little

drawer for storing paper for suspects to write confessions with, we could "expedite" this to our

advantage. If you're more than willing to, then I can give plan A one more try, and if plan A is

indeed a wash, you can send me out to get some snacks, while you continue pumping info from

this piece of white trash, just like Joe Friday did in the '80's movie adaptation of the classic T.V.

series, "Dragnet".

Ron: (looks back at Tyrone, then back at E.T.) You mean put him in the "Nutcracker", sweet!

Tyrone: If you ladies are done kissing, we've got some interrogation to do.

E.T.: (looking back at Tyrone) Alright, Kojak, here's the sitch, your pussy ass friends from your

team, and my dumbshit, little brother have confessed to being co-conspirators and accomplices

to the crime, which means that even if you choose to lawyer up, you'll still lose big time, and be

sent to Leavenworth to share a cell with a three hundred pound, eight foot tall, African-American

who spends his days building muscle and pumping iron, and goes by the name of "Bubba".

He's gonna ram and wreck that tight little ass of yours, then pass you around like a doobie,

with all the other prisoners, until one day, you crack, and realize that all your loyalty to Adolf

Hitler's beliefs had gotten you was a job turning tricks for the inmates, and all just to survive yet

another day. At least, if you `fess up to us, we can prevent that from happening. Do you know

what you're looking at here, you goddamned Kwijibo, you're gonna get a life sentence with no

parole, no time off for good behavior, no probation, and to top it all off, no pardon. Now tell us all

we wanna know, or else.

For once in his life since first becoming a cop, then becoming a G.J. agent, Tyrone Michaels

experienced a dramatic reversal of roles, instead of playing the bad cop routine, with his partner

playing the good cop, and reading crooks the riot act, he was the bad guy, and two young men

were playing the "good cop, bad cop" angle. He had to remain strong though, or else his own

compatriots in the white supremacy groups would get their hands on him and kill him.

Tyrone: (in one last show of defiant bravado) Alright, I'll tell you, the names of my compatriots are:

Fuck you, the names of their groups are: Fuck you, and the event, day, time, and place we're in

plans of attacking are: Fuck you, and lastly, if you're wondering if they're working together, the big

answer to that is: Fuck you!

E.T.: (pulls out two hand grenades that are very realistic) Alright, new game, Domehead, this

game's called "Pop Quiz", and there's only one rule: Answer the question correctly, you get

to live, get the wrong answer, and you, my little weasel, are gonna go "Pop", and there's only

one question in this game, and it's multiple choice!

Ron: No E.T., bad! Put those away before you hurt someone, and here I thought you were

smarter than that.

E.T.: (puts the hand grenades away) Sorry, Ron, it's just when insensitive morons like Ty-ty

are given free reign to enact scenes of brutality, violence, hate, and murder, I tend to fly off

the handle and become insensitve myself. By the way, where's Ty-ty?

Ron: He's under the table, sucking his thumb and in the fetal position.

There you have it, the once proud former agent reduced to acting like an infant. Hold on,

I gotta photo this, then post it on facebook.

Ron: It's okay, Ty-ty, E.T. put the hand grenades away.

Tyrone: (stops sucking his thumb while under the table) Good, because I need a change of

clothes, again.

Ron: Maybe it's hunger that's driving this madness, E.T., could you get a couple of snacks and

sodas, or a coffee, along with a change of clothes?

E.T.: Sure thing! Do you need anything, aside from a change of clothes and some baby wipes?

Tyrone: Yeah, a coffee with two creams and four sugars, a Snickers bar, a phonebook, and a

goddamned telephone!

E.T.: Right, I'll be back with some snacks, two sodas, a coffee, and the rest. It'll take me at least

twenty minutes.

Ron: Okay, Ty, can I call you "Ty"? You can come out, he's gone.

Tyrone: (comes back from under the table and back into his seat) Thanks, and you will call me

"Agent Michaels", or I'll kick your yamulke wearing ass.

Ron: (with enough venom to dwarf Bonnie's) Well, Loser, it seems that my psychotic brother from

another mother will be gone for a long time, which means that there's just me, you, this drawer,

and your balls.

As Ron opened up that drawer, Tyrone's eyes bugged out even though there was no threat of a

hand grenade, and he's reminded of his days in the Duquesne Police.

Meanwhile, outside the interrogation room...

Dr. Director: There you go, a fresh change of clothes and some baby wipes for Tyrone Michaels.

Will that be all, Agent Becker?

E.T.: Yes, that's all, Auntie Betty. If you could open the door for me, that'll be a big help, besides,

Ty-ty's just about to crack like an old Vietnam veteran.

When we got near the interrogation room, there were screams of pain and suffering coming from

inside. They sounded like a bull being neutered inside a local slaughterhouse, and they were loud

enough to even wake the dead from their peaceful and sacred slumber. While we listened intently

to Tyrone's cries of anguish, Betty crinkled her face in minor disgust, but I just grinned from ear to

ear like the virgin who just won the lottery and blew all his dough on the best damned girl in the

bordello. My life couldn't be better. After I got inside, Tyrone was singing like a choir boy in the

Vienna All Boys Tabernackle Choir. He fed us names and organizations to us like they were an

all-night all-you-can-eat buffet. He even told us why he wanted my technology, and that all the big

league white supremacy groups had combined into what's known as The White Resistance Group

and was planning a big attack. We tried to pump the info on this terrorist attack, but he clammed

up, and we hit a deadend. Me and Ron reconviened in secret and decided on plan C.

Ron: You know, I think we're all still hungry, why don't I go get a couple meals for the three of us.

E.T.: Good idea, Ron, I'll stay here and keep our "Guest" company until you get back.

Tyrone: Wait a minute, you're gonna leave me with this maniac? But he's insane, he's gonna

kill me, don't you see he's possessed?

Ron: Yeah, but he's our kind of agent, E.T., remember, we need him alive and in one piece, if he

isn't in optimal condition, he won't learn nothing.

E.T.: (a psychotic look of sadistic pleasure adorns his face) No big, Ron, I'll take good care of our

"Guest", real...good...care...mwahahahahaha!

Tyrone: (eyes bugging out in terror) NOOOOO, DON'T LEAVE ME, PLEASE? TAKE ME WITH

YOU, HE'S GOT FUCKING HAND GRENADES FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

E.T.: (watches as Ron leaves) Now, where were we, ah yes, the game I'd like to call "Pop Quiz".

Remember, Ty-ty, there's only one round in this game, and so far all the other "Contestants" had

been very lucky, but like the wise man says, fortune smiles on the righteous, and you have proven

to have way too many vices. Let's see if you're either a lucky son of a bitch, or another unlucky

bastard, shall we?

As I pull out the hand grenades, Tyrone's eyes had turned into dinner plates instantly, here's to

hoping I survive this folks.

E.T.: (smiles as he continues) Here in my hands, I have two grenades. One is a real grenade,

while the other's a dud, the question is which is which, care to answer for me?

Everyone in the facinity of the interrogation room could hear the cacophony of only two sounds:

1. The sound of Tyrone screaming in terror, like a little girl. 2. Me, laughing like a madman, or

the Marqui Du Sade, which ever comes first.

Later, when Ron comes back

Ron: Hey, guys, I got the meals, hope you like "The Cow & Chow", because I didn't know

what to get you and... E.T., why is Ty under the table, in the fetal position, sucking his thumb?

E.T.: Well, this poor bastard done lost his mind when I pulled a Leo Ed Becker on him, he's still

physically alright, though.

Ron: (crouching down to talk to Tyrone) Hey there, Broha, feel like talking now?

Tyrone: (removes his thumb from his mouth) I'll tell you everything you need to know, do anything

you tell me to do, just please, don't leave me with this homicidal, suicidal, and genocidal maniac

with a badge. He's not a man, he's a monster!

Ron: (looking back at E.T.) Leo Ed Becker?

E.T.: He was my dad, but he died under suspisious pretenses, and he left me his hand grenades

from `Nam when he went. I'll tell you about these sometime. So, did you bring the Grande sized

Naco meals?

After we ate, our personal canary started singing again, and told us that they plan to strike a

special United Nations ceremony, here in Middleton, tomorrow at 7:00 P.M., which is to honor

Team Possible for helping to end the threat of the Lowardians. Every foreign dignitary and official

will be there, leaving them to be sitting ducks for the Neo-Nazis to assassinate. I believe that this

calls for the old tennis phrase, "Set, Game, Match". As my famous uncle, Ford Fairlane would

say, "This case is closed".

Ron: Good boy, Ty, I just hope you're not lying, or else, I'll let my big buddy here cut off your

manhood, and trust me when I say this, "That kind of equipment don't grow back".

E.T.: (smug smile on his face) Have fun with Bubba when you get to Leavenworth, but if you want

to spend some "Quality Time" with me again, we could postpone your departure for later, and you

and I can have another rousing round of "Pop Quiz", if you'd like.

Tyrone: (sobbing like a schoolgirl with Beiber-Fever) I confess, I set up that hit, and the reason I

assaulted E.T. at his lab is because he continuously refused to make weapons for those Neo-Nazis at The White Resistance Group. I'll sign whatever confessions you want me to, just keep him away from me.

Dr. Director: I'm afraid to even ask, so I won't. I will however commend the both of you for getting

the confession out of him. We'll take care of the paperwork, keep him iin our custody, and set up

a date for his tribunal. Come on, Former Agent Michaels, we've got a nice, quiet, peaceful jail cell

with your name on it. Are there any kinds of grievences you wish to file?

Tyrone: (watches E.T. pull his tanto out, mouthing the words, "Choppy-choppy your pee-pee".)

My balls hurt!

Dr. Director: What happened to you?

Tyrone: (watches Ron's eyes go blue for a brief second) I fell!

Meanwhile, at the Dale Marsden Uber-max prison

It had been a horrible week for Josh Mankey, for one thing, he had been raped and sodomized

by his fellow inmates seven times already, got shanked during breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower

time, and exercise period for three days straight, and on his very first night here, the inmates

pummeled him in sock party and blanket party fashion, and to top it all off, his family hadn't

visit him at all. Life was quickly turning into a living hell for him, and slowly, but surely, he

started losing more and more of whatever sanity he had left. So he started reading up on

mixed martial arts/extreme martial arts, and trained himself rigorously. He also read books

on modern warfare and modern philosophy, so that his mind would becom as sharp as the

edge of a katana blade, and as tempered as American steel. He read up on other subjects

as well, even modern laws and statutes. He'll continue down this path until he eventually

surpasses his family, and have his revenge, little does he know that his parents would create

one of the agents of his vengeance. Then, a month had passed, and he started to handle the

enviroment he's been placed in a little better, but his sanity continued a slow decline into a

steady madness, until one day, he recieved his first visit since his incarceration.

Prison guard: Okay, worms, you each got five minutes to chat with your loved ones, that is,

if you have any left to begin with, or your legal counsel, to see if any of you worthless pieces

of filth and piles of garbage are getting any good news from the courts themselves, which is

highly unlikely, seeing as how most of you Grade-A fuck-ups aren't even gonna see the outside

world beyond the prison bars in your cells ever again, let alone survive long enough to make it out.

Mankey's lawyer: (through the separation panel) Hello there, Joshua, I heard you had a rough few

weeks starting out, how are you holding up.

Josh: As well as can be expected, Mr. Perkins, or should I call you "Hank"?

Hank Perkins: Mr. Perkins will do just fine. I bet you're wondering why I'm here.

Josh: Yeah, I kind of am, what's the good news, Hank?

Hank Perkins: (sighing from the severe disrespect of is wishes) Well, Josh, I don't quite know

how to tell you this, but your parents had you disinherited and disowned, and as for your appeals

for your retrials, and your release, they've all been turned down. In fact, the judge has a special

garbage bin with a paper shredder attachment designated for all your appeals. There's nothing

in my power that I can do about it.

Josh: becoming increasingly agitated) Well, what about my paintings, are they selling well, at the

very least?

Hank Perkins: All the galleries in Middleton couldn't even sell them for only a penny each, they

had to be given away because they had lost all of their marketability. They're practically worth

only one red cent for the whole bundle, and even then, nobody's buying them.

Josh: (looking absolutely pissed right about now) Have you heard anything about my bandmates?

Surely, the band has to be suffering without me, I'm their frontman, after all. They can't last a day,

let alone a second without me.

Hank Perkins: Actually, they replaced you with a Walter Nelson, whom everyone's calling the next

Elvis Costello, and they say he can write, compose, arrange, sing, and play better than anyone in

Middleton has ever known, you included.

Josh: (angry that the whole world has moved on without him) You mean that geek with the braces

is a better frontman than me, that's preposterous, this is an egregious outrage, I was popular in

high school, I had a bright shining future, and you're saying that just because I made some big

mistakes, that everyone has cast me aside, replaced me, or for that matter, forgotten me,

Hank Perkins: (emotionless and coldly) Basically, the moment you've shamed yourself in that

courtroom on the day of your sentencing, you became a cold product, a dead commodity. It's

time you faced the facts, everybody hates you now. There's no hope for you to go back to the

glory days of your youth, I'm sorry.

Josh: (looking as mean as Wharf from Star Trek: The Next Generation) You listen here, Sheister,

you can tell all my so-called "Friends", and the trainwreck that I used to call my "Family", that

they can all go fuck themselves, drink an arsenic & Kool-Aid cocktail, and just fucking die. I've

been in hell since I got here, and I've got nothing to lose, so if anyone in G.J. is in the mood to

listen, you tell them that I'm in the mood to talk all about the dirty little secrets of my parents'

organization.

With that, Josh, the former king of Middleton High School, left the visitation hall in a huff, hoping

to never see any Shocker assassins any time soon.

Weeks ago, at "The Village", at it's ampitheater

James: Just whst in the deuce is going on here? I mean first we recieve prank e-mails from this

"Emperor Draculoid" about how he's gonna kill us all as a sign of power for his "New World Order", and now, we get told by G.J. agents that we need to gather our families, and a few things that we can, and haul ass out of Dodge, and into, some goddamned secret underground city, several miles beneath the earth, and now someone who can out hack Wade Load, is claiming to be the one who is responsible for saving all our lives, and that he knows who "Emperor Draculoid" really is! Just who the hell does he think he is?

Dean Stoppable: As long as he's a good guy, I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt,

after all, it ain't the end of the world...yet.

Jean Stoppable: I just hope my little Ronnie isn't mixed up in this, because whoever "Saved" us

has to be either a cross between Rambo and James Bond, or a veritable Baron Von Frankenstein.

Anne: That, or an undeniable genius.

Dr. Director took the podium on the stage, and prepared to make the introductory speech with

a world of worries on her shoulders, and a heavy heart deep inside her. She secretly hoped that

Project: Exodus, which was known as the A.L.P.O. protocol of Operation: Feed The Dog, would

never have to be used at all, let alone for so many innocent civilians, but she couldn't help but in

all honesty admire the crux of it all, how a super genius with an I.Q. of a million created all this,

to afford the people who come into "The Village" the luxury of all the comforts of home, and yet

keep them totally secure. Normal logic dictates that eternal vigilance is the price of freedom, but

E.T. Becker had not only kicked logic to the curb, he kicked it in the balls with such force that it

went right out the window, and then followed logic outside and kicked it's ass in a drunken street

fight, gaining victory over logic once again. She couldn't help but be impressed by the young man

and his abilities.

Dr. Director: Good evening, I'm Dr. Elizabeth Director, the current head of Global Justice, and I

imagine that most of you are probably wondering why you're here in this subterrainian metropolis,

one that we at G.J. affectionately call, "The Village". While I do in fact know why you've been

brought to this secret facility, the real authority on this matter would be better suited to answer any

and all inquiries you may have. So without further adieu, I leave the podium to the five time, five

time, five time, five time, five time world champion of Kendo, Gold medalist of Olympic Kendo,

and the biggest techno-geek since Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, as well as a cinemaphile on parr

with the likes of Quentin Tarantino.

Dr. Director rolled her eye and just gave out an exsasperated sigh after reading that, knowing

full well that I must've written the speech.

Dr. Director: (continues to read on, despite her lack of enthusiasm) Let's give a big round of

applause to the Steel City Otaku, E.T. Becker.

The song "Rock of Ages" by the British hair-metal super-group, "Def Leppard", played in the halls

and auditorium of the ampitheater as I had made my way to the podium. It had died down to a fade out when I took the podium and adressed the crowd.

E.T.: (takes to the microphone like an `80's rock star) Thank you kindly, Auntie Betty,for that

totally radical and bodaciously awesome intro. ALRIGHT, GOOD EVENING MIDDLETON!

As I greeted the crowd, all they did was look at me like I belonged in a "Funny Farm". That's

it, where's my machine gun, where's my little machine gun?

E.T.: (looks at the crowd and regains his composure) Okay!? Well, you're probably wondering

why all of you have been shanghaied into this situation. I'll be more than happy to tell you, but,

as to Team Possible, well, their situation has gone from standard & routine save-the-world fare,

to totally-gorchy-and-possibly-life-threatening-world-domination-and-family-revenge plot that, in

my personal opinion, is non-non-non-non-heinous. So I'll try to be as clear as the ocean waves,

dudes and dude-ettes, however, I do have the tendency to ramble on & on, and a tendency to go

way off topic, and I guess you could totally blame my A.D.H.D. for that, that or I'm just bored &

like to talk your ears off. Am I rambling off topic again, because I've got the tendency to mix

together my first two tendencies. Can everyone hear me okay, beacause I've also got the absurd

tendency to lose control of THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

When I heard everybody laughing, things started to liven up a little bit, even Ron was laughing

like a hyena, and Kim even followed suit.

E.T.: Okay, now we're getting somewhere, anyway, here's the sitch, all of you got a threatening

e-mail from this "Emperor Draculoid", whom is the leader of a secret terror organization who, at

one time, was poised to take over the world, literally, just as their public face of the infamous and

corrupt Shocker Products Corporation, had done to the business world. They bought out multiple

conglomerations and corporations, either through playing the stock market, resorting to shady and

questionable means, such as extortion, kidnapping, and blackmail, as well as corporate and even

political espionage, or, last but not least, murder, and the destruction of the opposing businesses,

like they did with my dad's trucking company, and my dad. That's why I relocated all of you here,

because we didn't want Team Possible to lose their friends, or their families. We also knew that

their friends had families, and we relocated them as well. But as Team Possible and I, after doing

our routine of being good sammaritans, made way to "The Village", our A.L.P.O. relocation was

intercepted by my "Brother", and I now use that term quite loosely, and several white supremacy

afficianadoes, of whom were disguised as G.J. agents, and lead by Tyrone Michaels, and we had

been threatened with the prospect of being murdered, for one of us, she was threatened with rape

and murder, but thanks to my "Minor" paranoia, the heroic actions of a certain naked mole-rat,

and Ron's sheer awesomeness, we came out of it alive, and all the guilty parties involved had also

been captured. After some personal interrogations with our leading suspect, utilizing some rather

"Nessecary" and rough interrogation techniques, we've also prevented a major terror attack on the

U.N. council and foreign dignitaries who were attending a dinner to honor the very heroes of the

entire world, of course, I need not mention names, but I digress. We've questioned all of these

white supremacy fundamentalists, we had assertained that they were hired and funded by none

other than S.P.C., who's headed by Burton Mankey, and guess who has the same I.P. adress

as the illustrious Mr. Mankey, "Emperor Draculoid" himself, and can you guess who actually

sent you those e-mails from there, maybe with a little further proof, even I can make 2+2=5.

After giving a detailed review of all the evidence he gathered on S.P.C. over the years since his

father's untimely demise, along with the more recent evidence, and a riveting speech going into

the reasons that the Shocker Empire must be stopped, the crowd started to agree, and even gave

their full support to the young super genius.

E.T.: (humbled by the show of support) Thank you all for giving me your complete trust in this

endeavor, I personally assure you that, with the massive contributions from Team Possible, I

will bring Shocker and all of their compatriots crashing down, and now for the Q & A portion.

Everyone got in their questions for the Kendo expert, whom answered all of them honestly, and

even explained what Project: Exodus, A.L.P.O., and Operation: Feed The Dog was all about, how

he became a technical officer/undercover field agent, and his dedication to wipe out political and

corporate corruption all over the globe. Now that everyone who knew Team Possible personally

was now safe from harm, he could rest easy.

Jim: (amazed and impressed at the same time) So all this time, when we all thought that S.P.C.

was just another super conglomerate, they were actually a terrorist organization, devoted only

to the propistion of enslaving all of mankind...

Tim: (feeling the same way) And that the super hacker known as "Shadow Warrior" was a G.J.

agent, trying to bring them down, along with all of their copycats, all to get revenge for what had

happened to his father, and his father's company?

James: (in complete awe) Well, I think that's the whole jist of it. I'm still not sure what's going to

happen from here on out, but at very least, we're safe for the most part.

Wade: (outside of his house for the first time) I know what you mean, Mr. Possible, but it seems

that E.T. had prepared for a long haul, and well in advanced. It's almost as if he has some sort

of extra sensory perception of what's about to happen, he's also made this facility totally and

completely earthquake proof. All of this goes well beyond the typical super genius stereotype,

and all the way to what we in the scientific communities call a Natural, a normal human who's

born with superhuman technical, mechanical, and digital knowledge onset since conception.

The only problems are that there's only a handful of them and that they run the gambit from

being completely good to downright evil.

Elsewhere in "The Village", in a secret hangar, lies a super powerful giant humanoid robot, one

that I had designed and created for dire situations. A heavily armed mech that I am prepared to

pilot in defense of the innocent, but hope and pray that it never has to be called into action. If he's

up there in Heaven, watching and listening to what's transpiring here on Earth, Dad, I pray to God

in Heaven that the "Dai Kamikaze" will never see battle, because as much as I'm determined to

avenge your death, I don't want to use such a weapon to ensure that kind of revenge. It would

mean becoming the grim reaper itself, and you had always taught me that the best vengeance is

to bring the people who've wronged you to justice, and to bring them in alive. The Mankeys have

their dues to pay, and I'm gonna make sure that each and every single one of them is paid in full.

Well, that does it for another chapter, and on a more personal note, my routine with the hand

grenades was inspired by a little story of my long departed father who passed away from cancer.

One in which he used to be a school bus driver, where he picked up a bunch of rowdy kids who

just wouldn't sit down and behave, so he took out two toy replicas of actual hand grenades and

said to them, "I've got two hand grenades in my hands, one's real, and the other's a dud, care to

find out which is which", after that they all stopped acting out, and they continued on getting to

the school on time. But now, onto the story at hand, I added references to "No Holds Barred",

starring Hulk Hogan, and "Dragnet", starring Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks. I also added hints of

the Chuck Norris movie, "Top Dog", and Ian Flemming's "007" novella to give it a unique flavor.

Well that's all, folks, remember to be kind and read and review, or else I'll get my Dai Kamikaze

and find out where you live. P.S.: Just kidding, but seriously, please read and review, and as the

great Jerry Springer always says, "Take care of yourself, and eachother".


	4. Chapter 4

RiderV3Stoppable here, and I've got the overview of the last chapter, first, a most

harrowing ordeal as me and Team Possible nearly bite the big one when a unit of

Neo-Nazi G.J. agents hired my evil and quite idiotic brother to hijack my limo, only

to throw us into the proverbial shark tank. Fortunately, my considerable computer

expertise, which had gotten enough evidence to properly arrest the real culprit,

and Ron Stoppable's own combat skills, that had dispatched the assailants

responsible for the execution of a most nefarious plot, had turned disaster into victory. We've also successfully evacuated any Middleton resident who knows either Kim, Ron, both, or their families on a personal level, relocating to my underground city that I have affectionately dubbed "The Village". As for the mastermind of this assassination plot, well, let's just say after a rigorous interrogation, he's made a dramatic & very detailed confession, for some odd reason though, he is in need of some Depends desperately. Also we go into a little background as to why I myself am in the fight to bring the evil Shocker Empire to it's very knees. Plus, we explore the breaking limit, or boiling point of one Joshua Mankey, who's been outcast by community & family alike. We also delve into one of my many talents, of which making a good entrance is not, I'm afraid, for an example, robotic combat isn't just something I thoroughly appreciate and enjoy in anime and tokusatsu, but have transformed from dream into reality, with my Dai Kamikaze robotic combat mobile mech-suit. At least, that's one of my many talents in my story. So without further adieu, we come to the disclaimer, I, RiderV3Stoppable, being of sound mind and body, here by declare no right to the show, "Kim Possble", which is the intellectual property of Mark McCorkle, Robert Schooley, and the Disney Corporation, nor the classic and, in my humble and modest opinion, amazing Japanese Tokusatsu series, "Kamen Rider", which is the intellctual property of Ban Dai, Ishinomori Shotarou, and of course, as of recently, Adness Entertainment. Now that we've got the disclaimer out of the way, let's continue on with the...(BOOM) Oh no, not you again!

Eisner: That's right, it is I, Michael Eisner, and I'm back in the flesh. I hope you're

prepared, because I've brought my army of lawyers, to help assist in cleaning you

out. What do you have to say about that, huh?

Only one thing, you sweeney toad, (goes into the Hokuto Hyakkurestu Ken

stance) WAHHH-ATATATATATATATATATATATATATAT ATATATA-WHATA,

Hokuto Hyakkuretsu Ken!

Eisner and his lawyers all check themselves out to see if any damage, only to

come to a foolish conclusion that there was none to be found, despite all of my

highspeed kicking, punching, chopping, elbow thrusts, and knee jabs. However,

if one has watched or read "Fist of the Northstar", then they'd know that all of my

strikes were hitting their nerve points, or their Tsuboi, that is, if one was a freaking

weeaboo of an otaku.

Eisner: That's it, that's all you have to say to us? Plus, who do you think you are

with all that Jeet Kun Do stuff, Bruce Lee?

Baka, omae wa mou shinde iru! (Fool, you are already dead)

With that, all of Michael Eisner's lawyers started exploding from where my blows

had struck, causing them all to die painfully, and in a most gruesome display, I

might add, needless to say, they all got my rebuttal.

Eisner: (stands there totally horrified) Oh my God, oh my God! You killed them,

you killed all of my lawyers! I'll see you rot in jail for...AAAAAAGH! WHAT'S

WRONG WITH ME, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? WHY...CAN'T I...FEEL

MY EVERY...THING? BLARGH!

Eisner starts to cough up blood as he begins to feel the effects of the Hokuto

Hyakkuretsu Ken, and his body begins to protrude in massive fissures of flesh.

I guess now he's starting to regret not adhering to the P.F.A. or the restraining

order.

Eisner: And then, Jesus wept. AAAAARGH UUGH AAAAaaagh!

As he gave his last words and a final death prattle, his body then explodes into

a billion little pieces, never to recover again, or until the next chapter's disclaimer,

which ever comes first. Well I think it's high time to get the ball rolling. Once

again, please read and review, and enjoy the chapter.

**Chapter four: Enter the Divine Wind!**

After the veritable struggle in securing all the vicitms of the digital hit heard around the world, as

I would call it, things started to simmer down here in "The Village", the Possibles ad decided to

take a sebatical from their respective fields of expertise, but only until this whole situation blows

over, or is totally resolved, whichever comes first, meanwhile, the Stoppables are measuring all of

the chances of something like this happening, while taking into account all of the different factors

and variables for the survival of everyone involved in this rather distressful turn of events. The old

school mates of Team Possible opted for a guided tour of the facility. Needless to say, they were

holding up as well as can be expected.

E.T.: (acting as a tour guide for all the refugees) ...And over here, we have our last stop, but with

all due respect, certainly not the least exciting of all the other stops, this mysterious hangar &

docking bay, now I bet you're all wondering what could be behind these hangar doors that can

possibly top all my other inventions.

Jim: I'll say, with the android research center with the newest in law enforcement technology, in the form of these Vanguard super androids...

Tim: ...and all of the high-tech anti-terrorist counter-measures, as well as the sophisticated

global surveillence satellite and computer network...

Both: ...not to mention all of the cool spy gear, and biological warfare counter-measures, there

is no way any of that can be topped.

E.T.: (crouches down and playfully ruffles their hair) You'd be surprised, boys, although this bad

boy's construction was almost prematurely haulted on two seperate ocassions, it's now all built

and fully operational, these incidents being the Diablo Incident and The Lowardian Invasion, but

let's move on shall we? Agent Du, if you could, please stand down from your post and open up

the hangar.

Agent Du: (acting like he's got a stick up his ass) Do you have the proper documented

authorization for every civilian in your group, as well as the amatuers? This is a top secret

weapon made for last resort shoot-to-kill enemy mitigations, after all.

E.T.: (hands Agent Du the documents) Indeed I do, and if I recall, it was your bumbling in the

Diablo Incident that got you demoted to being a support liason for Team Possible in the name

of Global Justice, then there was your flagrant disregard for protocol in withholding intelligence

of the Lowardians mounting a geo-synchronus orbit over Middleton, causing you to be bumped

all the way down to guard duty for my "Little" pet project. So, if I were you, I'd learn from my

foul-ups and develop some sort of personality to compensate for having such an ugly face, and

a god-awful hair-do to match.

Agent Du: (getting flustered but decides not to act in anger) Alright, you all check out, but if I were

you Agent Becker, I'd watch my ass, because I have friends in the U.N., and they'll have your ass

in a sling when they're through. They can take away your pretty little badge and bust you for illicit

and illegal computer hacking.

As he said that, he pulled out a list of names, those being of highly influential people in the U.N. &

world governments, the same people who had corruption scandals that were made public by you

know who, this guy's really incorrigible.

E.T.: (takes out a list of names) That's funny, because those are the same people on my global

scumbag list, and what'd you know, our lists match, right down to the order that they're arranged

in. Newsflash, Chow Yun Fathead, you ain't got no friends anymore, so if you value your career,

which I highly doubt it, you'd stay as far away from this rattlesnake, and tread lightly, or else you

could end up in a world of hurt when I sink my venom into you. In other words, Agent Dookie,

DON'T FUCKING TREAD ON ME, DID YOU GET ALL THAT YOU WORTHLESS, PETTY EXCUSE OF A G.J. AGENT?

Agent Du: (takes a look at E.T.'s list only to discover that the names on it not only match those

on his list to a tee, but also have the word, "Jailed", written next to each one of them) Yes, Sir,

I'll watch what I do and say next time, Agent Becker, Sir.

E.T.: (gives Agent William Du a pleasant smile) Okey-dokey, Artichokey, now why don't you be a

good cabana boy and get us some refreshments, please?

Agent Du: (slautes his current C.O. while seething with rage deep down inside) Sir, yes, Sir!

E.T.: Great, here's the list of the refreshments, and which beverage goes to which person, you

have 30 minutes to get the orders filled and come back here.

Agent Du: (starts acting immature about his current assignment) I would love to, Sir, but I'm on

a break, so why don't you get you're Auntie to do it for me? I mean, with all due respect, Dr.

Director seems to only be capable of that, now that she bumped me off the line of succession

into her position.

Dr. Director: (sneaks up behind Agent Du) What was that about my capabilities, Clerical Worker

Du?

Agent Du: (turns around and sees a pissed off Betty) Oh shit!

While Auntie Betty is grilling the former-agent-turned-desk-jocky, I continued the last leg of the

tour, opening the hangar doors myself.

Monique: Okay, this is starting to feel like one of those video games that Felix & Ron play so

often, be cause there's a giant humanoid robot in front of us.

Felix: Not even Mom makes these kinds of robots.

Tara: (in a joking manner) Now all you need is a Guntank, Guncannon, a couple of Core Fighters,

and a huge spacecraft/battle station manned by an inexperienced crew and housing a whole lot

of refugees from a recently destroyed space colony.

Brick: That thing looks Japanese, yeah, definately Japanese.

E.T.: (with a sense of patriotic pride) Actually, only it's name is Japanese, but the real bulk of it

was made right here in the states.

James: (amazed and impressed at the same time) This is astonishing, a real life mobile mech-suit

actually exists!

Dean: The construction of such a machine must cost billions of dollars alone. How were you able

to make this?

E.T.: Oh, I had a little help from interested parties who're tired of being slaves for the Mankeys,

and G.J. supplies the rest, I believe Team Possible knows one of those corporations personally,

the Nakasumi Corporation, if I'm not mistaken. That, plus the inexourbenant wages I recieve for

creating all of the gear currently being utilized by Global Justice, who pay me big time for my

commissions. The Tazer Watch, or as I like to call it, the Timex Tazer, is my favorite invention.

I won an award for it, you know.

Wade: (feels like Booger when he meets a master of belching in "Revenge of the Nerds: Part 3)

Master!

Kim: Now that is a good reason to be paranoid. Do you realize how many countries would want a

whole army of these? Even for today's technology, this is ahead of it's time.

Ron: So, what do you call it, I mean, what's the name of this beast?

E.T.: It's name is synonymous with the notion that if a samurai dies for honor and country, they too

would ride into the heavens on a divine wind, hence, it is called "Dai Kamikaze".

Everyone: Whoa!

Jim: This...

Tim: ...is...

Both: ...Awesome!

E.T.: It's powered by a meteorite that I found as a kid growing up in McKeesport, while the

meteorite has abundant and sufficient enregy to power this machine and all of it's functions,

the properties of the meteorite are unique, in that it's like the Energizer Bunny, it keeps going,

and going, and etcetera, basically it has an infinite energy output, and unlimited potential, yet

it is completely safe and stable. The robot itself has the standard weapons and equipment of

your traditional "Super Robot" type of robot, plasma cannons, energy blades, vulcan cannons,

computer assisted targeting system, jump jets, the works. It's also got a recently installed, new

plasma wave generator which fires a widespread charged particle beam wave that disintegrates

any and all matter caught within it's blast radius.

James: (fearful of any enemy opposition getting their hands on this machine) That's all fine and

dandy for you, but what if some crazy nut tries to steal it?

E.T.: I'm aware of your apprehensions, Mr. Possible, but I assure you that it's as secure as much

as Fort Knox is. It has voice recognition, retina scan, DNA scan, and electronic transponder types

of security systems installed, if you look to your right, you'll see my piloting suit for the robot, it has

an electronic transponder chip sewn into it's right glove, without my vocal, DNA, or retinal imprint,

or password, or, for that matter, that same trasponder, the computer in the robot will pick up on

the error and explode, taking whoever tries to steal it along for a one way trip down the highway to

hell, and everyone caught within the blast radius.

Anne: (frightened to no end) YOU MEAN THAT IF ANYONE BESIDES YOU TRIES TO PILOT IT,

IT'LL BLOW LIKE A NUCLEAR BOMB?

E.T.:(laughing like a hyena) Hahahahahahahahahaha, man, the looks on your faces, I was kidding

about the explosion. But seriously, the computer will refuse to activate itself, the robot, or any of

it's functions, sorry about scaring the bejeebers out of y'all, but the expressions on your faces

were priceless.

Everyone face-faulted after realizing that they just been punked, I probably should call M.T.V. to

do a Guest shot on the practical prankster reality show, or something.

Wade:(recovering from a face fault) I don't know who's loonier, the villians Kim & Ron fight, or

you.

After we got the tour over and done with, we reconviened at the food court. We all spun yarns

about growing up, childhood antics, and our plans for the future, me, the only dream I had was

to open up a little store, on that sold anime, manga, model kits, toys, video games, collectibles,

movies, and comic books. Maybe I'll call it "Rising Sun Entertainment", have a special little area

where customers could read the manga and comic books, watch the movies, and play the video

games before they decide to buy them, one that's got a fully stocked snack bar and cappacino &

espresso machine. Then I'd run all sorts of standardized promotions, like finding hard to find and

elusive items on sites like Craig's List, Ebay, Amazon, and the like, and charing the store's asking

price plus 10% of the price I bought them for. However, that's just me, Kim has her sights on the

prospects of joining Global Justice, while Ron could go the route of being the next Emeril, or the

next Heinz Ward. Everyone had a good old laugh. Then they asked me why I would create some

kind of a weapon that had the potential to destroy the whole world if I wanted it to, and I had no

choice but to answer it.

E.T.: (as elloquent as possible) It is mearley because that with the prospect of Shocker having

even more funds than Senor Senior Senior, they could possibly build a weapon that not only

has that same kind of potential, but was also designed and programmed for that task. The only

difference between that kind of a weapon and the Dai Kamikaze, is that Dai Kamikaze was built

and designed to protect innocent lives, and save those in peril or danger of being oppressed or

obliterated, and their weapon isn't. However, I only pray Dai Kamikaze never sees the battlefeild,

for like all weapons, it is built for war, and I happen to be against it.

Kim: So that's why Agent Michaels was so determined to get you to build him and his bonehead

friends at the K.K.K., it's because he heard about your robot.

E.T.: Exactomundo, K.P., which means he's probably got a precursory report on it out to Shocker,

and due to his Alpha Level status, he's probably got copies of the plans, blueprints, and scematics

on the Dai Kamikaze. But fortunately, G.J. investigated his home for anything out of the ordinary.

Ron: If you ask me, Ty should at least get the death penalty or something. A guy like him, with a

weapon like that, that could only spell a holocaust.

E.T.: I couldn't agree with you more, that's why I added all those security features and destroyed

all the files on Dai Kamikaze, to make sure it never falls into evil hands.

Kim: Well, I for one find your paranoia justified, and sorry again for freaking on you back in your

limo back in Lowerton.

E.T.: As you would say, no big, it's just another quirk, is all. One more thing, are you having

Ron's kid?

Kim: (gets all dreamy eyed on us) No, but maybe when Ron and I get married, it might be a future

possibility, why do you ask?

E.T.: Not to knock it or anything, but you're eating a hotdog with marshmallows on it.

Meanwhile, in a jail cell in the brig of "The Village"

Bob Becker: (in a sour mood) This is all your fault, Tyrone. I could of made it to Tahiti, and just

laid low until the Feds stop chasing me for illegel hacking and what not, but because you had this

wonderful idea to kidnapp and murder my brother, we're in this mess.

Tyrone: (getting all defensive) Oh c'mon, my idea was fool proof, it was just that he had Team

Pukible with him. Plus, you're one to talk, because you went and blabbed about the assassination

and get me into this mess, I mean both Ron and your brother grilled me. The former put me in the nutcracker suite, and I don't mean the ballet, and the latter had on him a pair of hand

grenades, and is loonier than Dr. Drakken in his hayday. I'm telling you that your whole family's a bunch of section 8's, and this is your fault, Bobby-Lou.

Bob: (getting infuriated with Ty's obnoxious behavior) DON'T CALL ME BOBBY-LOU, YOU

BALDHEADED, SKINHEAD BITCH!

Tyrone:(retalliates) DON'T CALL ME A BITCH, YOU FAT, UGLY, FATHEADED FAIRY!

It was then that the two of them started brawling, and didn't stop until a G.J. guard had broke up

the fight. The only good part of their situation is that their going to seperate jails once they go to

trial.

Later that night, at the temporary housing facility in "The Village"

Kim & Ron had checked into their room and decided to call it a night, well, for the others anyway.

Kim: I can't believe it, first the person whom we were sent to ask about this Emperor Draculoid

ends up needing our help with a crazed Yakuza boss, only for him to help us kick some butt,

then he turns out to be the techno-geek behind all of Global Justice's inventions, and aiding us

in preventing a massacre at the hands of a Neo-Nazi madman, and now, we find out that the

whole of the S.P.C. is actually a front for a New World Order type of terrorist organization. What

if something really major happens to you, and I'm unable to do anything about it? Oh, Ron, I'm

so scared right now!

Kim breaks down into tears, resting her head on Ron's shoulder, and he just let her cry her pretty

little green eyes out, holding her in a gentle and loving embrace, caressing her back, until she's

through with crying herself a thousand rivers.

Ron: (trying to sound as reassuring as possible) It's okay, Kimila, E.T. won't let anything happen

to me, or anyone else that we care about, or you for that matter. It's almost like he thinks of us

as family, and I don't think he'll ever back down from looking out for his family. I mean, sure, the

bit with his dad's grenades is a little gorchy, but he only shows them to the bad guys to intimidate  
them into making a confession. Also, I'm more worried about something happening to you, and I

can't have your back because we're both getting hammered, and if anything happened to you, I'd

just die inside, I'm talking about literally losing the will to live without you.

Kim: (has thoroughly been swooned and swept off of her feet) Oh, Ron, just kiss me, hold me,

and never, ever let me go!

With that, Ron fulfills all of the tasks that Kim had laid out for him, and gives her a ten minute

frencher that leaves her weak in the knees, and slowly but steadily evolves into gentle petting

and an intense make-out session. They only briefly break to get some air into their lungs.

Kim: (breathing hard like she's been through one hell of a workout) Ronnie, did you put Rufus

to bed?

Ron: (also breathing as hard) Actually, he's hanging out with E.T. for the night, why do you ask?

Kim: (if seductive looks could kill, hers would be a weapon of mass destruction) It's because I'm

feeling rather frisky tonight, and I don't want anyone else but you, my handsome warrior, you.

Ron: (feels Kim give him a gentle caress all over his body) Oh, Kim, I want you, and need you

so much, my beautiful angel.

And so, Ron returns the favor with equal, if not, greater ferver, and the two lovers undress right

down to their underwear. Being that there are a lot of concerned parents also reading this, I'll

skip ahead to another scene transition.

The next morning

Thank you very much!

Kim & Ron just had another passion filled night of lovemaking, followed by another session

of the oldest pasttime in all of creation. They were about to head down to the food court for some

breakfast when the Kimmunicator sounded off.

Kim: (positively sated from her passionate activities) Good morning, Wade, what's the sitch?

Wade: (looks at Kim curiously) Well, it looks like somebody had a good night. I've just got a hit

on our sight, and it ain't from Burton Mankey, it's from that Ex-boyfriend that you just love to hate,

and it looks like he's ready to spill the beans on the whole Shocker operation, hold on, it seems

we've got another hit on the site, this time it's an invitation from your college professor friend, and

a motorcycle mechanic by the name of Tobei Tachibana, and it's to a breakfast get together at the

Dog Gone Diner. P.S.: Please bring E.T. with you, they really like him, and think he's a blast to

have around.

Ron: 10-4, Rubberducky, we'll bring that big mother-trucker along for the ride, let `em know we got

ourselves a convoy, over and out.

Kim couldn't help but laugh at Ron's spot-on and accurate impersonation of trucker lingo, as they

finished their communicae, they headed out to my quarters to go and pick him up.

E.T.'s quarters, five minutes later

I was in the middle of practicing some traditional Saya no Katana, when I heard two certain teenage trouble shooters walk up to my door, knocking on it as politely as possible.

E.T.: Who is it?

Kim: (decides to give the trucker's lingo a try) Mr. U.F.O., this is Big Red and her partner Tarzan,

we were all wonderin' if y'all would like to join our little convoy, over.

E.T.: (thinks back to his days of riding in an 18 wheeler with his dad) Ah, the good old C.B. speak,

how I missed it. Summabitch pile of monkey nuts, that's a big 10-4, Big Red, I reckon a li'l ride

along'll do me some good, so you tell that thar' Tarzan that we got us a convoy, over and out.

Ron: Roger that, pardna', we'll wait for ya' outside, over and out.

After I get some civilian clothes on, we all head down to the garage to get the new limo and meet

the new driver. Much to our collected chagrin, it just so happened to be the same G.J. agent I so

totally bitched out yesterday, suddenly the old Disneyland song "It's a small world, after all" had

popped into my head.

E.T.: (pretends to be the Green Hornet for a minute) Thanks for bringing the Black Beauty around,

Kato.

Will Du: (looks obviously disgruntled) One more obscure T.V. reference, and I'll drive all of us off

of a cliff.

Ron: Okay, how did he become E.T.'s new personal chauffer?

Kim: Okay, Will Du, what did you do this time?

Will Du: Well, if you must know, I xeroxed my ass 100 times, and on each copy, I wrote "Kiss it",

then sent all the copies to Dr. Director, then she bumped me all the way down to a janitor, for only

a couple of hours. She then discovered that I made 100 xeroxed copies of my "Long Wang", with

the words "Suck it" written on each of them.

Ron: You mean you actually had the gall to xerox your "Unit"?

Kim: (shivers in total disgust) Now THAT is above and beyond gorchy!

E.T.: (looks like he's gonna blow chunks all over Will Du, and does) I can't believe you xeroxed

your own "Schlong"!

Rufus: Hnk, Gorchy!

Will Du: To top it all off, she had me dishonorably discharged and sentenced me to work as E.T.'s

personal driver or face serious jail time for sexual harrassment, and it's because of you amatuers

that all of my earnings as of now are attached to the class action lawsuit against me.

E.T.: In the immortal words of Justin Timberlake, cry me a river. Now let's get this ball rolling, we

got shieks and presidents to meet. We're burning daylight here.

With Will Du being reduced to poverty, and being let go from G.J., I almost feel sorry for the guy,

almost. When we reach the Dog Gone Diner, everything didn't seem to be out of place. The

diner itself was a simple old school diner, like the ones way back in the fifties. So there were no

red flags going off in my head. Never the less, I had Will Du perform a parameter check around

the diner. When it's completed, I decided to double check the area myself. Like my dad always

said, D.T.A., don't trust anybody. By the time I was done, everyone was ready to eat, so we all

stepped into the diner. Man was I hungry.

The Diner's Hostess: Welcome to the Dog Gone Diner, home of the Doggy Dish and the Doggy

Bowl. How many in your party?

E.T.: (looks to his group) I'll handle this, I've eaten at diners like this one before.

Ron: No problemo, Broha.

Kim: So not the drama, E.T.!

Will Du: You mean you've eaten at dives like this one before?

E.T.: (in a dead-on impersonation of Anthony Hopkins) Now, now, William, if you're going to

misbehave like this, I'm going to have to put you in the childrens' table.

To emphasize my point, I cracked my knuckles and put on an insanely sadistic grin on my

face. Needless to say, he quickly changed his tune.

Will Du: (swallows a gulp and looks downright terrified) I'll behave!

E.T.: (still on his Anthony Hopkins schpiel) Good, because if you intend to ruin our delightful

breakfast get-together, I will eat your liver, with some fava beans, and a nice chilled chianti.

Do you understand?

Will Du: (his eyes are still bugging out) Yes sir, now if you'll excuse me, I need to use the restroom

for a little bit.

E.T.: (is all ice cream and gumdrops again) Okey-dokey, Artichokey, miss, if you could help us,

we're looking for two Japanese gentlemen whom invited us over for breakfast.

Hostess: (in a mild state of surprise) Ain't you that American Olympic Kendo Gold Medalist that

saved the little girl from being murdered by that crazed Yakuza crime boss?

E.T.: (pretends to be a typical hollywood celebrity) Okay, where are those paparrazos, just playing,

I'm E.T. Becker, miss, and accompanying me is the famous Team Possible, and of course, with

us is my personal limo driver, Will Du, who's indisposed for the moment.

Hostess: So you're the famous friends they've been talking about, and here I thought they were

a tad bit loopy. Why don't you all follow me and I'll help you to your seats.

E.T.: Thank you kindly, miss. Come on guys, the Thunderbirds are go.

After a few brief seconds, the kind hostess showed us to a big old circular table where our new

friends from earlier happen to be sitting at. Needless to say, they were pleasantly surprised.

Takeshi: Ah, ore no shin tomdachi-tachi, (Ah, my new friends,) please, sit with us, and order up

anything you'd like.

E.T.: Domo arigatou gouzaimasu, Hongo-hakase. (Thank you very much, Professor Hongo.)

Takeshi: Please, call me Takeshi, or Tak, for short. I believe you've met my friend from America,

Tobei Tachibana, he's a motorcross racing promoter and cheif mechanic for Team Tachibana.

Tobei: Good morning, Buckaroos!

E.T.: Ohayo gouzaimasu, Tachibana-san. (Good morning to you, Mr. Tachibana.)

Tobei: (looks at Takeshi) What the heck's he saying?

E.T.: Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you didn't speak Japanese.

Tobei: I do, actually, it's just that your Japanese is spot-on. You've even got the Akihabara

accent down.

E.T.: Whew, that's a relief, for a minute there, I was worried.

After the hostess gave us our menus, she told us that someone would serve us in two shakes

of a lamb's tail. When our server came around, Ron, Kim, and even Rufus were shocked to see

who it was, but not at her apparent distasteful attitude.

The server: Like, welcome to the Dog Gone Diner, like, are you goona order something, or like,

whatever?

Kim: (in a minor state of surprise) Marcella, how did you end up here, of all places?

Marcella: Like, when I slept with Josh behind your back, my meal ticket, Brick, dumped me. So

like, Bonnie then snatched him up, and like, spread a rumor that I was like so totally pregnant.

Only, like, it wasn't a rumor, and like, the pregnancy and my `tude towards you and your geeky

little loser of a sidekick, not to mention other things in my life, like Josh dumping me for you again,

and denying our baby, Barkin had me, like, notify my folks and stuff.

Ron: That was before the Junior Regionals, where you tried to kill Kim.

Marcella: Sh'yeah, but like, I didn't succeed. Anyway, when the police, like, arrested me, Barkin

had me, like, kicked off. My parents, like, posted bail for me, and like, they were all mad and stuff.

But that's beside the point, you know what I mean? So, like, after you took the regionals, Barkin

had the nerve of kicking me off the squad, and like, expelled me, then I had to go to Juvie, where I

like, had a miscarriage, got kicked out by my parents, had to go get, like, a G.E.D., and a roof

over my head and stuff, and got like, a job here ever since.

Kim: (looks very sympathetic) I'm sorry about all that, Marcella, really I am.

Marcella: Whatever, now are you like, gonna order or what?

E.T.: Our deepest apologies, miss, Kim, it's only polite that the ladies order first.

Kim: (starts to order first) I'll start off with a coffee, and to get to eating, I'll have the sunny side up,

with a side of turkey bacon, some toast, and a fruit salad, how about the rest of you?

E.T.: A wiseman once said, age before beauty.

Tobei: I'll have a coffee, some Lumberjack pancakes, a side of turkey bacon, some toast, and a

couple of hashbrowns, ma'am.

Takeshi: I'll also have a coffee, a couple Homestyle waffles, with a side of turkey bacon, a

blueberry muffin, and a cheese omlette.

E.T.: I'll laso be having a coffee, some eggs over easy, a side of turkey bacon, some toast, and

to top it all off, some Homestyle potatoes.

Ron: I'll also have a coffee, and a Doggy Dish breakfast bagel sandwich, with some homefries on

the side, and last but not least, some warm apple pie. Also there's someone else joining us, he's

in the John right now...oh wait, here he is.

Will Du came out of the bathroom after using the facilities, and came over to our table, ready to

order. Hopefully he won't be such of an ass over breakfast.

Will Du: Excuse me, miss, but you wouldn't happen to have any bagels, homefries, or turkey

bacon, by any chance?

Marcella: We have them, like, you know, whatever.

Will Du: Great, I'll have all that with a coffee.

Marcella: Whatever!

With that, Marcella went to get our coffees to start out with. After ten whole minutes, she came

back with our coffees alright, only they were cold.

Tobei: (feeling nothing but righteous indignation) Thunderin' tarnation, who in their right mind has

the audacity to serve us cold coffee?

Takeshi: Either someone who really isn't competent at there job, or someone with a gripe against

Kim.

E.T.: I'm leaning towards the latter, but that's just my paranoia acting up.

Ron: I think you may be onto something there, E.T., she did seem kind of rude and disinterested

to me.

Kim: Don't worry about it, I'll talk to the hostess and have her get the manager. When Marcella

comes back with the food, and if it's sub-par when it gets here, then we'll have our answer.

When the hostess goes to check on our table, and Kim talks to her about the sub-par coffee

that Marcella served us. Even though she did nix the notion of getting the manager, the hostess

did get us fresh cups of coffee on the house, with free refills on the coffee. It was then 20 minutes

later when Marcella showed up with the food, and our suspisions were confirmed.

Marcella: Like, here's your food and stuff, like, enjoy your meal.

Tobei: (inspecting his meal) Hey, my dag gum meal's cold.

Takeshi: (also inspecting his meal) You're lucky, your's can be nuked up, while mine looks like

Hiroshima and Nagasaki after getting hit with the A-bomb.

E.T.: (follows suit) Is it me, or did Marcella decide that toe-nails and projectile saliva would make

a great pair of toppings for my breakfast?

Ron: (checks his meal) I bet I can top the gorchiness of all your meals, because there are little

boogers in my meal.

Kim: (also checks her meal) I don't know about you, but my food smells a little off.

E.T.: (sniffs at Kim's meal) That's because it's covered in urine.

Will Du: That's funny, because my coffee's hot, and my food is well prepared and perfectly served.

Everyone else: (in a sarcastic unison) You don't say?

After Kim flags down the hostess and tells her about the improperly served food, the hostess had

promptly went to bring us some properly made food, also on the house, along with the manager,

and our server, who owes us an apology.

Hostess: I'm terribly sorry about all this, I'll make sure that the manager hears about Marcella's

less than sparkling performance when he gets here. Here he comes now.

Manager: Darla, what's this I here about improperly prepared or tampered meals for the party of

Team Possible.

Ron: It's probably Marcella bringing us food that has either been intentionally tampered with, or

improperly prepared, except for Little Willie over there. Not only that, but she's rude, inattentive,

and furthermore, indifferent about her duties as a server.

The manager closely inspects the food that Marcella had served us, and a look of disappointment

appeared onhis furroughed brow. He then turned to Marcella and told her to give all of them an

apology. Marcella didn't want to do it, but she had no choice.

Marcella: Like, I'm so totally sorry about like, tampering with your meals. It was all like, part of

a practical joke, in all honesty. But like, it wasn't a totally gnarly thing to do, if anything, it was

like, totally heinous, and it will like, never happen again, for sure.

Manager: You're darn right it will never happen again, because you're fired.

Marcella: Oh, my, god, you're like, just gonna fire me, just like that?

Manager: (in a mock impersonation of Marcella) Like, totally, girlfriend, it's like, a major bummer

for you, I know, but like, it happens to people all the time.

Marcella: (breaks out into alligator tears) But my family kicked me out, I got expelled from school,

and I lost my baby through a miscarriage.

Manager: (looks at her sternly) Maybe you should of thought of that before you pulled this stunt.

We're in the restaurant business to give our customers good food at cheap, competitive prices,

not to make them sick. Consider this your two weeks notice to clear out your locker and to turn in

your uniform.

E.T.: Maybe you could come work for me, I could always use a good maid.

Marcella: Like, fuck you, pussweed!

With that, the former cheerleader who fell on hard times, had stormed off in a huff.

E.T.: I was just trying to help.

Tobei: We know, li'l buckaroo, just let it go.

We settled down and had a nice chat about what each of us do for a hobby. We also ate our

meals with out incident, basically everything was peaceful, and the meal was enjoyable. Then,

we went into what we did for a living, but I didn't want our civilian friends to know that I work for

G.J., so I told them of my other day job. See, I'm a manga-ka, a person who makes Japanese

comic books and graphic novels, called manga. In fact, one of the first manga I created was

a martial arts/super robot space epic called "Full Metal Samurai", and it was created when I

graduated from the manga-ka class at the University of Tokyo. I gave each of my friends a copy,

and when they started reading, they gave me rave reviews, all except Will Du. He had a review

of his own to give.

Will Du: This manga is garbage. It rips off of so many manga and anime, that it ain't even funny.

Don't even get me started on the characters, the main hero's a joke, and the main villain's a loser.

As for the artwork, if you can call it that, it's so horrible, it even makes "M.D. Geist" look like the

"Mona Lisa". Plus, all of the fight/action scenes are a blatant rip off on "Rurouni Kenshin". You

may say you made this when you graduated at the University of Tokyo, but I think you should go

back several times, for multiple refresher courses, and even then you'd never be a great, or even

decent manga-ka.

E.T.: Well, Will, you can pay for your own meal, and then you'll be out for the last bit of money

you've earned. How about them apples?

After Will changed his mind about the manga, I offered to pay for his meal. We then thanked the

people who fixed our orders for us when Marcella messed them up, and gone out on our seperate

ways. After Team Possible and I got back into the limo, they told me they had some business at

the Dale Marsden Uber-max prison, it seems that Josh Mankey was ready to spill the beans on

the S.P.C., and we had to hurry before visitation hours were over.

E.T.: Let's get to the Dale Marsden Prison, Du, and you better switch this thing to jet mode, we

don't have that much time to obey the street or highway traffic laws.

Will Du: Yes, sir, Mr. Becker, shall we stop at a drive through for some lunch?

E.T.: (turns to Kim & Ron) What'dya say, guys, you wanna grab a lunch on the way, we could

get it from a drive through, my treat?

Kim & Ron: (in shocked unison) You mean this limo has a jet mode?

E.T.: Did I forget to mention that to you?

They didn't answer at all, instead, they both stared at me with their mouths hanging open

until they both fell down on their backs from fainting. Way to keep them on the ball, E.T.,

I just hope they wake up soon.

10 minutes later

When Team Possible had finally come to, they give me the greenlight on lunch, and after

eating our lunch on the go, we've arrived at our destination. I tell Team Possible to not even

bother with the proverbial kid gloves and just get into it with guns blazing. We wanted to get

someone to testify about The Shocker Empire, and who better than the diposed "Prince" of

the Mankey family.

Visitation room, Dale Marsden Prison

Sam Stonewall: Alright, Team Possible, you and Agent Becker check out. You're free to ask

whatever questions you'd like, but be careful, he's already killed ten of his fellow inmates.

Kim: Normally I'd say something like "No big", Sargeant Stonewall, but this is a very big sitch.

Sam Stonewall: Please, call me Sam, and by the way, Josh Mankey is inside, and he's become

as wild as a jungle cat, and as smart as one, too. So if he gives you any trouble, give us a call

through the intercom over by the door. Oh, one more thing, could I get both of your autographs

when you're done here. It's for the kids, and it would make their day to know they have an official

Team Possible autograph or two.

Ron: Whatd'ya say, Kim, can we?

Kim: Okay, Sam, just wait for us until we call on you, please and thank you.

When we get inside the visitation room, we see a young man with brown hair that had blonde

highlights to it, and a far more athletic body that smelled of blood and death. When he heard

we were coming, he showed no emotion then, and that's the same expression he wore on his

face now. He was obviously shackled for our own protection. When we read the prison report

on this guy, we were shocked to know of the horrors he went through, only to inflict them onto

those who've brought them upon him. Needless to say, we were all scared shitless, even poor,

little Rufus, who also accompanied us on this journey. When he finally looked at us, Kim nor

Ron could scarcely believe that this butcher was the same Josh Mankey from their high school

years.

E.T.: So, you're the douche who tried to gangrape my little sister from another daddy, only to end

up beaten down by my brother from another mother, and humiliated to an extreme degree after all

of your so-called friends testified against you, and again when Ron took the stand. Look, I don't

give a rat's ass if you testify against your family, but what I'm really worried about, is if you don't,

because they've slaughtered too many innocent lives already, and gotten away with it in the past.

We've got all the evidence against the S.P.C., and we know that they can erase and destroy their

files to make it look like we're on some kind of wild goose chase. The only thing that will back up

our case is a witness willing to testify. It don't matter for what reason they do it, all that matters to

me is that they do it. Unfortunately, the higher-ups won't let me make any deals about a scaled

down sentence in a minimum security prison for your testimony, but to be quite frank, I don't even

want to. However, what I can promise you is that you'll be in protective custody.

Josh: (as coldly as a winter's chill) So, you're saying that you were sent by Global Justice to pick

me up and take me to a safe haven. Let me tell you a little something about safety, it's nothing

but a false construct, an antiquidated notion meant to lull us into a false sense of comfort and

security. My parents are only trying to bring back the good old days when the strongest race of

all of history, ruled all other inferior races with an iron fist, and this is how they repay their flesh

and blood, by throwing him to the lepers of the world, now you want my help in bringing down my

own family. You say you've got a safe haven to keep me at, until this case has been tried in a

U.N. court of law. Well, I've some bad news for you, there is no safe haven, and absolutely no

such thing as safety, especially in this prison. So you're gonna have towork out some kind of a

deal at minimizing, or preferredly, negating my sentence, and relocating me to a minimal security

prison, along with allowing me to keep my family's inheritence after I give you me testimony, but

if you can't give me that, then ten minutes to steal Kimmy's virginity away, before the loser ruins it

for me, will surely suffice.

Kim: (looks at Josh with a smug expression on her face) Joke's on you, Monkey-boy, because I

already gave it to my one and only true love, you may know him, his name's Ron Stoppable.

Josh: (in a severe dissappointed shock) No, you didn't, say you're only kidding with me, Kimmy

baby, say it's only a clever little practical joke you're pulling on me.

Ron: (follows Kim's lead) Oh yeah, me and her go at it like a couple of jackrabbits going through

what they call "March madness" now, and see that ring on her ring finger, it means that we're

going steady. I guess one man's loss is another's gain, as a wiseman would say.

Josh: (in total disbelief) Shut up, shut up, shut up, I don't believe in what you're saying.

Kim: (decides to hammer in the final nail of the coffin) Bad news, Mankey, it's all true, and there's

nothing that can change it. Besides, why should a lady, like myself, settle for a four incher, when

she can have a 16 inch long, 4 inch thick, Kosher beef frankfurter. Plus, the way Ronnie touches

me, carresses me, kisses me, holds me, and last but not least, makes love to me, always sends

me into multiple orgasms, and you won't believe how many times he can go at it, not to mention

the stamina Ronnie-poo has. In fact, just thinking about him makes me moist and wanting for him

and him alone.

Believe it or not, she wasn't kidding about the thought of her Ron-man making sweet, sweet love

to her. Her legs were actually fidgetting because she was almost at the point of coitus, and the

seductive tone in her praises for the young stud had given Ron the mother of all stiffies. Josh, on

the other hand was ranting and raving in what had to be German, and pulling out his own hair. He

looked at Ron, only for a second after his Adolf Hitler inspired tantrum, and then sucker punched

him, sending him flying through the door. I got out of my seat to restrain him, but when I got too

close to him, he gave me a rising high kick to my scrotum, leaving me to wallow in pain. Rufus

decided to enter the fray by crawling up into his clothes and biting and clawing every bit of flesh

he could find, but Josh reached into his pants, caught the poor little guy, and started to choke him

to death, only to be interupted by a flying side kick from Kim, right into his back. Although he felt it, it didn't phase him by much. The upside to that, is that it made him let go of Rufus, who was in so much need for breath, that he had went into a state of unconciousness bordering on death. Josh then turned his attention to his former girlfriend, who tried to fight back by desperately punching and kicking every weak point in his body. Too bad that he either blocked the moves, or was not phased by them, because he gave Kim a powerful uppercut to her gut, then roughly gripped her pretty red locks, and gave her a series of Muay Thai knee jabs to her head. While Ron was still coming to, Josh took the liberty of roundhouse kicking her in her chest, smashed her face in with some spinning elbows, and then threw down through the table on her back, using a Judo flip toss. He mounted her on her chest and clenched his fists closed, and began pummeling her face in.

Josh: (while bashing Kim's face in) Give it up, Kim, I've seen all your moves, and I've been training

in this prison, ever since my first week here. Do you even know the hell and torment you and your

loser put me through. Well I've got news for you bitch, if I can't have you, then no one will, and

your patheitc, useless boyfriend is gonna have to get used to visiting you at your grave. You have

betrayed the race, and you have betrayed me, and for that, you must die.

When he stopped, her face was bloody and swollen, and she was crying and sobbing in pain and

fear for what Josh was going to do, but then she thought it better that she dies instead of Ron.

Josh: (breathing hard but only for a little bit) You and I could've had a bright future together, and

you would've been indoctrinated as the Princess of Shocker, but when you wouldn't put out for

me, and I had to sew my wild oats with another woman, you left me a broken heap of humanity,

but when you busted me in France, you nearly killed me, after I shot your new boyfriend. But after

you heard he was going to be okay, you left me bleeding, with four broken limbs. After Barkin had

heard about what happened in France, he had me expelled, and I had to date a Chinese girl just

to get into the graduation prom. Sure, your new boy toy had saved your life by taking the bullet

that was meant for you, after all, I tried so hard to put you in, but you wouldn't go for it, and the

rules of Shocker state that if we can't use you, then we must kill you. That's why you're little

boyfriend was shot up back in France, because he felt some kind of loyalty to you. But now you

know the truth, and for the last time, I apologize for what I've done to you, and for what I'm about

to do to you. They say having your neck snapped is a pretty painless death, well, you're in luck,

because that's the kind of death you'll get before I send you to hell.

Josh had gripped Kim's forehead with his right hand, and her chin with his left, and was setting up

to torque her neck with so much force, it would snap like a twig. All of a sudden, he heard a voice

that held at one time, so much animosity, anger, hatred, and pure, unadulterated rage. At last, the

noble savage had awakened once more.

Ron: (regains his conciusness, while in the throes of M.M.P. enhanced rage) GET YOUR

GODDAMNED HANDS OFF OF MY K.P., YOU SADISTIC, DEPRAVED, BARBARIC SON OF A

BITCH!

Josh: (dismounts from Kim, who curls up in a ball) Oh, you wanna go, you Jewish man-whore?

Okay, just bring it, you ugly motherfucker!

With that, the two titans go at it like no tomorrow, trading blow for blow, kick for kick, punch for

punch. Neither seemed to let up, until Josh decided to resort to fighting dirty, and kicked Ron

in his scrotum, only to discover that it not only wasn't effective on Ron in his super powered state,

but that it angered him immensely at the same time.

Ron: (still in Mystical Monkey Powered mode) Why you kick Ron in the mommy/daddy button?

Josh: (in a state of shock that borders on alarm) What the shitting fuck in the name of Jesus titty

fucking Christ? I'm about to get F.U.B.A.R. right about now.

Ron, then let loose a whole factory of WHOOP ASS on Josh, who tried in vain to defend himself.

Whenever Josh would kick or punch, Ron countered it. Whenever Josh would let out an elbow

thrust or a knee jab, Ron blocked them. Whenever Josh would try to throw him or grapple him,

Ron would escape. Lastly, whenever Josh would try to block, or counter one of Ron's moves,

Ron threw him down, and then grappled with him like a Grekko-Roman wrestler. This went on

until Josh was lifted overhead by Ron, who then prepared to give him the mother of all of the

Argentinian Backbreakers. I came out of my pain induced distraction, when I saw Kim sobbing

and crying, her face had been busted up pretty badly. Then I saw poor Rufus, lying on th floor,

barely breathing from the sound of it, and he was very still, I mean the little guy wasn't moving,

or responding to any stimulus. It was like he was in a coma. Lastly, I saw Ron, about to do

a Coups de Gras on Josh, but who could blame him. I tried to calm him down enough to set

the bastard down, so I can check the damage done.

E.T.: (tries to cool Ron down) Whoa there, Tex, take it easy, and gently put the human skidmark

down. You won, man, he looks like he's definately F.U.B.A.R., big time!

Ron: (still in his rage mode) No, Josh hurt Kim, and he hurt Rufus. Now Ron make Josh hurt all

over! Ron make Josh pay in blood, sweat, and tears.

E.T.: I know that, but he's not even moving, or for that matter, concious. He's already suffering

for what he did, and he's bleeding from all over his body. Let this one go, please. If you don't,

you'll become just like him, or worse, like Zorpox.

Ron: RON NO LIKE BEING ZORPOX!

E.T.: Then let this asshole live, we'll bring him in, for assaulting me, you, Rufus, and last but not

least, Kim.

Ron: Ron not know, will Josh be problem?

E.T.: With the way you fought with him, I don't think so, but we need a doctor to check him out.

Besides, Rufus and Kim need you as well. They've been ruffed up pretty bad.

Ron: How bad?

E.T.: (checks on Rufus) Looks like an asphyxiation induced coma, some oxygen will have him

up and running in no time.

Ron: What about Kim?

E.T.: (checks on Kim, who is trying to say something, but is unable to move her lower jaw)

Looks like facial contusions, a minor concussion, and a broken lower mandibular bone, but

other than that, some superficial lacerations.

Ron: No worry, Ron fix them.

E.T.: Then put the walking turd down, and I'll go check on him next.

Ron: (still doubtful) No, Josh get away like last time. Josh not good man. RON SMASH JOSH!

E.T.: Yes, I know that he's an evil individual, but you have my personal assurance that he won't be

getting off at all, you have my word as a Global Justice agent. I'm a good guy, just like you, do

you understand?

Ron: Yes, Ron understand, but how E.T. gonna make Josh go away for long, long time?

Yes, I'm getting through to him, maybe now he'll simmer down.

E.T.: You know about my BeckerCom, it not only controls ordinary computers, but prison staff and

security computers, which are hardwired into the audio/video security surveillance cameras and

microphones, and create copies of the security footage, then store those copies in it's harddrive.

Ron:(calms down quite a bit and reverts back to his old self again) Okay, I'll just set this asshole

down and go take care of Rufus and Kim. Keep a close watch on him while I'm busy.

E.T.: Okay, you feel better now.

Ron: Yeah, thanks for talking me out of killing Mankey.

E.T.: Hey, what are friends for?

It was then that I checked for a pulse on Mankey, it was faint, but it was there, and it was fading

fast. So I went to the intercom to get the head guard in here with a medic. Then, after the call

had made it through, and I just so happened to turn around, I saw Ron, in the classic meditative

lotus position, floating three feet in the air. There was a shining aura of a bluish white surrounding

him, also floating in the air was the prone form of Rufus, and the bloodied up former shell of what

was Kim Possible, who was still sobbing and crying all the way through. It's as if fear itself was

instilled into her when Josh beat on her, but when she and Rufus were each touched by one of

the M.M.P. master's hands, all the damage was reversed, and Rufus was breathing strongly again

and Kim was returned to her former self, physically, she looked the way she did before Josh beat

her and good, but deep down inside, she began doubting her ability to handle dire situations like

the one we're facing right now. It was made evident by the fact that she hasn't stopped crying

since Josh's assault on us. I regained my senses long enough to try and see if Kim was alright,

but when I did, she shyed away, moving to another side of the room. Ron had come out of his

meditative state and went to Kim, who readily clutched on to him for dear life.

Ron: (trying to comfort Kim) It's okay now, my love, he will never hurt you ever again, you're safe.

Kim: (still sobbing uncontrollably) Oh, Ron, I was so scared, I thought I was going to die, but you

saved me again. He was going to kill me, Ron, he was going to kill me, and there was nothing

I could've done about it.

Ron: I know, but I made sure I gave him a taste of his own medicine, so now he'll know what'll

happen if he hurts my Kimila while I'm around.

E.T.: (adds his two cents in) Yeah, he went into a combination of Bruce Lee and Lou Ferrigno

to bring down Josh, who, might I mention, has a pulse that's dropping down faster than the big

boulder right above Wile E. Coyote. But the good news is the medic's coming and he'll give us

some answers about the condition that the dickhead's in.

Minutes later, the medic arrived with a crew of emergency paramedics to see what kind of shape

Josh was in, and if they can stabalize him.

Medic: Well, the pupils are dialated, he's got multiple hairline fractures all over his limbs, right

down into the joints, and he's been punched in the solar plexus so many times, that he temporarily

lost the ability to breath on his own, but other than that, he' s got a broken jaw, contusions of the

face with superficial cuts, and a concussion the size of Texas. He's basically in a comatose state,

and will have to remain in the prison infirmary until he's regained conciousness. Even then he'll

be unable to move his limbs until the bones knit back together, meaning he's not up to being

transported yet.

E.T.: Thanks, Doc, what about the men assigned to watch over the security cameras, how come

they didn't sound the alarm when we were getting hammered.

Medic: They confessed to shutting all the security monitors and speakers so they could have a

little poker tournament and get blotto off of cheap, American beer.

Ron: (enfuriated to no end) You mean that we could've been killed, and the only reason that help

wasn't coming, was because the people who were supposed to have our backs, decided their

poker party was more important to them than their job, their duty,

Sam Stonewall: (as apologetically as possible) I'm terribly sorry that this had happened, and I'm

currently thinking of a proper punishment for those men now, also if you two're aren't feeling up to

it, you can forget about the autographs. The poor little angel must be terrified right out of her own

mind.

Ron: (still holding Kim in a protective manner) You'd be scared stupid, too, if your ex tried to bump

you off. Christ, he was ready to twist her head off, with nothing but his bare hands. That asshole

had to be on some sort of steroids to do all that, probably from some sympathetic doctor here who

saw first hand what the other inmates used to do to him,. When he saw the mistake he made with

Josh, he cut him off, and Josh went into withdrawl, one of the symptoms being a hightened state

of rage. Now I want you to check anyone with a motive for giving that kind of shit to a bastard like

Mankey, and when you've found the douchebag, you're to contact us, got it!

Sam Stonewall: We got it, just don't fly off the handle like that with any of our prisoners again, we

want them alive only for as long as they're here.

Ron: (offers a venom filled but well deserved retort) Well then get some goddamned guards who

can do their job, or you'll be hearing from us again.

E.T.: You guys really fucked the pooch on this one, so if i were you, I'd think up of a proper penalty

for your men's collective incompetence. G.J. really doesn't need to do an overhaul on the staff of

one of it's own prisons, especially when the world's in danger of being overtaken by New World

Order type Neo Nazi fanaticists.

We left the prison, all of us frazzled at the nerves, and Josh had been stabalized when we had

departed. Rufus had regained conciousness and was up and running, chittering away about

getting a grande sized Naco. It looks like he recovered fully, but Kim's wounds ran a lot deeper

than we all thought, because the fire that once was there in the the young red head's emerald

eyes had died down from a roaring flame of compassion, to a tiny little ember of apathy. She no

longer had the will or the drive to help others, or to live her life, she just wanted to hideaway from

the world. When we got back to "The Village", Kim had walked up to Wade and said the one thing

we thought we'd never here at all.

Kim: Wade, I can't take any missions at this time, or anymore for that matter, as of now, Team

Possible will take no more missions. I'll talk to Ron about whether or not he wants to continue,

but the incident with Josh Mankey, up in the Dale Marsden Prison had left me burnt out, and it

made me realize that too many people count on us to have their backs, but not nearly enough

have our backs in return, that's why I'm disbanding Team Possible, and ask that the Team

Possible website be shutdown.

Wade: But what about Ron, and all the people who still count on you, did you take them into

consideration, or even think about them?

Kim: Well, maybe if those people offered us some monetary compensation, it'd be worth while

to keep on doing what I do, and as for Ron, he's probably ready to go solo if he wants. If he

doesn't like the new outlook that I have on life, then that's too bad. I still love Ron and everything,

but I won't take anymore missions that don't pay a goddamned thing, and as of right now, I am

quitting on taking anymore dangerous missions for practically nothing.

Ron and I had walked up to Wade's work station at the science lab in "The Village", and we had

overheard the entire conversation. We were both shocked at her apathetic attitude, and her new

greedy, mercenary outlook, along with her reason for wanting to quit, this was the only true defeat

that Team Possible has suffered through since all this began.

E.T.: (in a whisper) This is ten kinds of the gorchiest and longest stretch of bad road ever to be

concieved by man and god alike.

Ron: (also in a whisper) I know, but this is as much Sam's fellow guards fault just as much as it's

Josh Mankey's fault. We gotta do something to help get her confidence back. We just gotta, or

she'll end up walking the same path that Shego did, wait a minute that's it. We'll have Shego

come over here and try and talk some sense into her.

E.T.: (sitll in a hushed tone of voice) That's just crazy enough to work, I'll set everything up, while

you try to coax some of the old Kim Possible still left in her. Just be as gentle as possible, people

who suffer a burnout like that, or are going through the symptoms of P.T.S.D. are going to be a

little touchy, so go at it with the kid gloves.

Ron: (in the same tone of voice) That's not gonna be a problem, I'll take her into Middleton for a

day out tomorrow, I figure a trip to the mall might calm her nerves, then we'll go to our favorite

places there, to help her relax and maybe forget about what happened today. That might get her

back to some extent, and Shego giving her a first hand perspective of how she gradually turned

from Superheroine to mercenary, and then all the way to an evil henchwoman, will probably shock

her back to the Kim Possible I fell in love with.

E.T.: (speaking in a whispered tone) Okay, that might work, but right now she looks tired and she

will need some rest, and someone to talk to. I'll catch ya' later, Gator.

Ron didn't speak to me then, but he did give me a soldier's salute before catching up with Kim.

The couple then walked in silence to their quarters together.

Kim & Ron's quarters

When Team Possible got inside, Kim just went to the bed without a word, while Ron put Rufus

to bed. He then crawled onto the bed and under the sheets, and gave his troubled lover a kiss

on the cheek, to which she did not return.

Ron: (in a worried tone) Are you okay, K.P.?

Kim: (in an emotionless monotone) I'm fine, and from now on, it's Ms. Possible to you.

Ron: (shocked and alarmed) Okay, whats with you all of a sudden? Because you're starting

to freak the Ron-man out. Especially when you're acting like a machine.

Kim: It's mearly because that incident at the prison today had opened my eyes, to just how

complaicent the people with whom we work with have gotten. Almost enough to incite the

very incompetence that almost killed me and Rufus. It opened them so much that I realize

how lucky we've been to get out alive after all those previous missions, not to mention how

dangerous letting our emotions show can really be, and how we cannot rely on those who depend

on us to have our backs. Which is why I've came up with three possible solutions: 1. We get out

now, quit while we're ahead, and we can be free to keep our emotions, as regular civilians. 2. We

continue on our missions, only this time around, we only take paying missions, from actual paying

customers, start carrying lethal armaments and lethal rounds with us at all times, and we keep

our emotions and urges to ourselves, and make sure whoever hires us has a competent security

staff, plus stop hesitating about killing the enemy. 3. We split apart and go our seperate ways,

and you can find someone else who'll accept you for who you are. Last I heard, Yori is still

available.

Ron: (in pure denial) Oh, I get it, E.T. put you up to this, I'm being punked, aren't I? Okay, E.T.,

you can come out now, the joke's over.

When he looked around the room to discover that this is all to real, along with the emotionless

expression on his lover's face, he started to realize that it wasn't a practical joke.

Ron: (in sudden realization) Oh shit, you're not kidding. You're asking me if I either want out,

can change the way we do things, or if I want to break up. THIS isn't the Kim I know and love,

this a reasonable facsimile, an empty shell that's hollow and uncaring. The REAL Kim Possible

is brimming over with love and compassion, and genuinely cares enough to give her life for the

common good, and loves to help people regardless of their income, and she doesn't give up on

a guy who's completely and madly in love with her, plus she would never kill, let alone carry a

loaded gun around with her at all times. If you're the real K.P., then I think you've taken too many

hits to the head and got brain damage from it.

With a resounding slapping noise, Kim had hit Ron across his left cheek with an open-hand slap.

She looked at him as he fell to the floor, outside she wore an angry scowl upon her face, but deep

inside, she was crying her eyes out, but was afraid to let it show. She was internalizing her all of

her emotions and it was killing her inside. Ron had gotten up and stood in complete shock at

what had happened. Ron, however, decided to tough it out and let her get some of the negative

energy that was bothering her, out of her system.

Kim: (in an angry tone, so as to hide her fear and pain) Last chance, Sidekick, either make up

your goddamned mind, or get the fuck out, and take that pet naked mole-rat with you.

Ron: (stalwart and true) No, I can obviously see you're hurting inside, and you need my help.

Kim: (in a much angrier tone) God, I wish I never met you in pre-school right about now, because

you're getting on my nerves with your loyal-to-a-fault attitude.

With that, she slapped her blonde haired lover again, this time, she struck his right cheek.

Ron: (after checking his right cheek) I know two things right about now: 1. This isn't the real you,

you just want it to be, because you're hurt deep down inside. 2. I also know that you don't actually

mean what you're saying, because you're afraid, afraid to open up to anybody and let them in, and

afraid to just let all of your emotions out, so you bottle them up, and hide them all away so no one

will find them. That's what's making you act like this, and you may think this is healing you and

helping you cope with what you've been through, but shunning out your emotions and the people

who love you won't make the pain go away. If you just open up, let it all out, and let me in, I'll do

my damnedest best to heal whatever's been broken, and I'll help you to comeback to being who

you really are.

Kim: (in her angriest tone ever) What would a loser like you know about who I really am? This IS

the real me, I just grew up, now take your pet and all your self-help psychology bullshit, and get

the fuck outta here before I kick your motherfucking ass.

Ron: (defiant as a rebel) Never!

With that, Kim makes one last attempt to rid her of the one thing that keeps her linked to her

emotions, by punching him right in his face, but it never connected, because Ron had caught her

closed fist in mid-air, then twisted her wrist to behind her back, which also spun her around so that

Ron was behind her as well. She resisted by trying to elbow him in the gut, but he caught that, and

spun her other arm behind her back. She then tried to back kick his Family Jewels, but he deftly

and adeptly siccored his thighs together, catching her right leg. She then dropped down to try and

escape, but he did as well, securing her arms with one hand, then rolled on the floor with the other

and positioning her on top of him, and with his legs finally free, locked them into Kim's legs. She

couldn't move, nor break free. Ron's grappling skills had proven to be too much, and all that Kim

could do was yell at him and curse him out. After a while, she stops struggling and starts weeping

her eyes out, while Ron releases her, and spins her around so she'd be facing him. As she keeps

crying, she tells Ron that because she was afraid of dying before she ever got to be a grandma,

she started to emotionally shutdown, and that because of the thought of a jealous ex-boyfriend of

hers, being her personal executioner, was scary enough, that she shut out all the people who had

really cared about her, plus she was so angry at the guards who abandoned their post, all for a

poker party, that she became mistrustful, not only of those who really needed her help, but of all of

those around her, as well. With the wall of anger that Kim had built up, broken down by the most

perfect boyfriend, she was able to come to her senses and realize what she had done.

Kim: (in sudden realization at what she did to Ron) Oh my God, Ron, what have I done, I was so

wrapped up in my own drama, that I had hurt, and tried to do so again. Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry!

With that, Kim goes into another fit of crying, but Ron had the perfect solution for that. He took

her into his arms, put her within his loving embrace, and kissed her cherry red lips, driving his

tongue into her mouth. Kim then wrapped her arms around Ron's neck, moaning passionately as

he kissed her, and straddling his waist. Soon, after a brief period of undressing eachother, they

were only cladin their underwear. I'm going to stop this train right here and get off this trolley,

because even though there are a lot of Ron/Kim lemon fan fiction writers pressuring me to do it,

my convictions for the best interest of the parents who read stories here on are

to strong for me to write this into a lemon.

Whoa! Now this was a long chapter to right, my apologies for it being so long.

Anyway, Ron hulking out like Lou Ferrigno was just a little something I tought

of, just as a side affect of being the recipient of M.M.P., as for Kim's emotional

breakdown after facing a near death experience at the hands of a jealous ex-boyfriend,

that was all me. Also, you're probably wondering where I learned all those medical terms,

well, let's just say I used to watch E.R. with my dad as a kid. That one sequence in the

visitation room where Josh kicks the big, brassy balls of Ron when he transformed into

a giant anthropomorphic monkey was inspired in part by the Tasmanian Devil cartoons,

both the originals and the early nineties Flintstones style cartoon, "Taz-Mania".

So with another chapter drawing to a close, I wish you a pleasant autumn, and

as Johnny Angel of Johnny Angel and the Halos would say, "Later, Gator".


	5. Chapter 5

Hey, everyone, RiderV3Stoppable here, and I've got a lot to tell y'all, but first, the

basic over view of last chapter. So I sow everyone my giant samurai themed super robot that I not only created, but also pilot. Haven't took it out to fight any giant monsters or enemy giant robots yet, but cross your fingers, because it might just see some action before the story's done. Then the field members of the famous Team Possible and I get invited to breakfast by our new Japanese friends, but it was nearly ruined by someone who had a personal grudge against Kim. Finally, we went to the prison that held Josh as a prisoner, only to nearly be killed when the security monitor crew shirked their duty, leading Kim to go all paranoid and suffer through an emotional breakdown, only for Ron to help give her enough inner strength for an emotional breakthrough. Well, that does it for the over view. Now it's time for the disclaimer, I do not own Kim Possible, but if I did, it would've lasted 5 seasons instead of only 4. That's owned by the creative team of Mark McCorkle and Robert Schooley, as well as the Disney corporation, just in case you're wondering. As for Kamen Rider, that's owned by Ishinomori Shotarou, Ban Dai, ShoPro productions, and Adness entertainment. All original characters are my product, so if you want to borrow them, you're gonna have to ask my permission first. Now that we've got that out of the way, we can begin the next chapter. Hold on a second, Eisner, what are you doing here, didn't my Hokuto Hyakkuretsu Ken finish you off?

Eisner: It did, well, at least it did for my interdimensional counterpart anyway,

but thanks to a man named Narutaki, I, Michael Eisner 3329, of parallel Earth

#3329, have been given the ultimate weapon. One that has enough power to finish you off for good, and end this farce of a fan fiction once and for all. Behold the new and improved Diendriver.

Eisner takes out a gun shaped device that is holding a whole deck of cards that

have pictures of various supportive or antagonistic Kamen Riders on some, and

their attacks on others. This doesn't look good.

Eisner: Now, with this Diendriver, and the deck that rests inside the chamber of

such a device, I will take over all of the parallel worlds and punish all fan artists

and fan fiction writers who use my interdimensional counterparts' characters

without our permission, with the only penalty worthy of their nature, death by

execution. Ah-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Just when all hope seems lost, the cavalry arrives in the form of Hiroshi

Tanahashi, bearing a strange suitcase with the Kamen Rider Decade emblem

on it. Yes, suck it, Narutaki.

Hiroshi Tanahashi: Hey there, RiderV3Stoppable, I knew you were in deep dookie

so I called up some friends of mine in Japan, and they sent this little suitcase for

you. I thought you might need it, so here it is.

Thanks, Hiroshi, with this, I'll finally be able to get leverage on this situation. I

open the suitcase and found a Decadriver inside, complete with a Ride Booker.

I quickly put it on and pull out the Kamen Rider Decade Card out of the Ride

Booker, then yell out "Henshin", put the card in the Decadriver and activated it.

Then I was surrounded with white light, and in a flash, I was transformed into

Kamen Rider Decade.

Eisner: (pulls out the Kamen Rider Diende Card from the Diendriver, opens

up the barrell to reveal a card slot, and puts the card in the slot, then closes

the compartment up and points his Diendriver up towards the sky) Oh yeah,

well two can play. HENSHIN!

As he fired off his Diendriver, he too was surrounded by a white light, and

in a flash, he was tranformed into Kamen Rider Diende.

Eisner: Now we will see just who is the strongest of all Kamen Riders.

If it's a fight you want, then come and get it. As for you loyal readers,

be sure to read and review, meanwhile, I'll just take out the garbage

while you read another chapter of this epic fan fiction, later, Gators!

**Chapter 5: Kim Interrupted**

The very next morning, after a rough start, Ron woke up to see Kim resting her head on his

chest, breathing contently and snuggling him with no end to it in sight. He was happy to see

his beloved recovering after what had happened to her, which nearly turned her down a dark

path that either would've ended Team Possible's career of helping people, their reputation as

heroes who strictly did pro bono work and never used lethal measures unless they absolutely

had no other choice, or split them apart as both a team and as a couple. Ron's patience and

perseverence had eventually won out, and all he had to do was keep his cool to ensure that little

victory. Now, he was reaping the rewards of his hard fought battle. He gently kissed his beloved

on her head and she stirred a little before waking up, and the sight that welcomed her ignited the

flame of her soul that was about to die out no later than last night. She was racked with guilt

over what she did to her one true love, but little by little, she knew in her heart Ron was more

loyal and faithful than most. This tiny little fact that meant the world to her had given her a bout

of erotic inspiration, and with that, Kim kissed her best-friend-turned-boyfriend-turned-lover who

as of last night, became her soulmate. This kiss was full of love, desire, urgency, passion, lust,

and mischief, and lasted a full 10 minutes 38 seconds before she broke off, and started to kiss

and caress Ron's naked chest, which had bulked up from all that football training, as the rest of

his muscles had developed from playing football and taking a far more active and involved role in

their missions. She then stopped at where Ron had took a bullet for her, and kissed it tenderly,

making Ron shudder from the sheer extasy of it, then worked her way down his abs, and under

the blankets, to her intended target. This left Ron wondering what she could possibly be doing

all the way down at his hips one minute, and in the next, crosseyed when he got his answer.

Ron: (in a sing-song voice while so totally crosseyed) Clang-clang-clang, went the trollie, Ding-ding-ding, went the bell!

Due to standards from myself and , I will not continue any further with this scene.

This is not a lemon, I repeat, this is not a lemon. Thank you.

Meanwhile, outside Ron & Kim's quarters

Anne: (shocked and concerned) You mean to say that our little angel could potentially turnout to

be an even more fearsome villainess than Shego once was, and that she'd even go as far and

extreme as becoming a cold blooded and emotionless murderer?

James: (more of the same) Don't you government types have psychiatrists always on call for this

kind of an emergency? If Ron's in the same room as her when she's in this state, she could end

up killing the poor boy.

E.T.: I'm aware of your concerns, but you don't need to worry about it, I'm sure that after that

Moodulator incident, Ron'll know well enough to...

I didn't finish that line of exposition because we were at Team Possible's personal quarters, and

hearing the famous Kim Possible moan like a wildebeast, and yell out some rather saucy things

to her loverboy through the walls. I knew I should've invested in some soundproofing.

Kim: (through the wall in sexual extasy) OH YES, RON, I'VE BEEN A NAUGHTY LITTLE GIRL,

SPANK ME, BABY, SPANK ME HARD, AND SPANK ME NOW!

E.T.: (in complete bewilderment) Right, I'm sure this is some kind of new reverse psychology that

Ron cooked up, but rest assured, I will...

Kim: AHHH, OHHH, OH FUCKING GOD YESSSS! SPANK ME HARDER, DON'T STOP, MY

MASTER, I'VE BEEN SUCH A NAUGHTY GIRL! OH YES FUCK ME, FUCK ME LIKE A SLUT,

FUCK YOUR LITTLE SLUT! I BELONG TO YOU AND YOU ALONE, MASTER, SO PLEASE,

FUCK ME ANYWAY YOU WANT!

The three of us could hear the sounds of spanking, an elated young woman in the throes of one

hell of an orgy with her lover, and said lover grunting like a silverback gorilla in the process of

mating. Yep, should've gotten some kind of soundproofing built into these rooms.

E.T.: (in a deadpan that rivals Brian Griffin) I'll be over at the Pub, humping the legs of random

girls for a dry martini or two...dozen. If you need me, you know where to find me.

Kim: (hitting the high C right about now) OH MY GOD, RON, I'M CUUUUMMMMMMING!

Ron: (also through the wall) ME TOO, KIMMY-BABY!

I left just in time, but Kim's parents weren't that fortunate. Dispite their apparent bad luck, it

did die down to only two young lovers pledging their undying love to one another.

Minutes later, the local pub, in "The Village"

I had recently ordered a Bud Light to help forget what I had heard transpiring with Kim & Ron,

all the while, I had my good buddy Wade on my BeckerCom via Skype, and let him in on some

good news.

Wade: Wait a minute, are you sure that it was only a peaceful conversation that you and Mr. &

Mrs. Possible overheard in their room, and not the two of them knocking boots.

E.T.: (glances left and right before he answers) Totally, just a nice, quiet conversation between

two young people who love eachother deeply, nothing more, but evidently, it was sufficient to

get Kim on the road to recovery.

Wade: So does this mean that the website's closing is only temporary?

E.T.: Maybe, but I won't know until Shego has a girl-to-girl talk with K.P. tonight.

Wade: So, what kind of tactic did Ron use to get Kim one step closer to being her old self again?

E.T.: He used a new form of reverse psychology.

Wade: Reverse psychology, or perverse psychology?

E.T.: Okay, you are definately to young to know about the birds and the bees.

Wade: I'm what they call an internet dynamo, and as such, you can't surf the net without finding

some rather "interesting" websites online.

E.T.: You're such a hentai, Wade.

Wade: As Ron would say, "I am what I is", but speaking of the deuce, what's Ron's plan to help

sway her.

E.T.: Oh, nothing much, just a romantic day out. By the time they get back, Shego will be there

to give her a heart to heart chat.

Wade: Okay, well I'll leave you to it, then, keep frosty, "Shadow Warrior".

E.T.: You too, "Download".

Meanwhile, at the garage

Ron & Kim got into the limo while Will Du got into the driver's seat. Apparently, Will was still mad

at his current state of employment. He was ordered by me to act as Team Possible's private and

current chauffer for today. Little did I know that he considered ditching them just to go off on his

own to get drunk at some dive bar somewhere in Middleton.

Ron: (sounding just like a millionaire) Middleton mall, Dookie-boy, and step on it.

Will Du: (sighing in disgust) Yes, Sir!

Ron: (turns to Kim) So, Kim, you feel a little better now that you got all that baggage off your

chest?

Kim (snuggles into Ron's chest) A little, I still feel bad about smacking you not once, but twice,

and calling you those hurtful names. I'm also alittle shaken up after what we found out why

Josh had dated me so long ago, and about what he tried to do to me. First, the failed attempt

on my life back in Paris, then, the botched gangrape, and now, he tried to kill me with his bare

hands, and that was after he beat my face to a bloody pulp.

Ron: (brings Kim into a tight, reassuring embrace) It's alright, K.P., you're safe now, and I won't

let anyone try to hurt you like that again. After all, when I saw you all bloodied up, I had a major

emotional breakdown myself. I almost murdered a human being in cold blooded rage, because

of what he did to you, and what he was about to do to you. If it wasn't for E.T., I wouldn't have

returned to normal.

Kim: Well when and if we do take another mission, we've got to rely only ourselves, and no one

else, and we'll need the proper authorization to use lethal force and own, operate, and carry a

couple of lethal weapons, but only as a precaution, and as a last resort.

Ron: Well, I can't help but agree with you on that, but right now, why don't we forget that nasty

business about yesterday, and enjoy a nice, quiet, and peaceful day out, just you and me. We

can have Rufus watch over Dookie-boy, just incase Will thinks about ditching us.

Kim: Okay, you talked me into it, but if Will Du is planning on ditching us, I'll have E.T. fire him

so fast, that the next paycheck he'll recieve tomorrow would be from unemployment.

The two lovers had laughed heartely at that remark, and decided to have the seperation panel

drawn up, and got into a heated make out session. Needless to say, Will Du was thankful

not to witness Team Possible's romantic activities. The rest of the drive to the mall was as

uneventful aside from a certain naked mole rat playing watch dog to a disgruntled former agent

who was reduced to being a chauffer to a super genius. When they got to the mall, Ron had let

Kim know that A. Dr. Drakken had paid back all the money he stole from Ron when he got his

Naco Royalties check, and B. his dad had set up a slush fund account in his name, which he

couldn't touch until his eighteenth birthday. So now, he had a fortune which only he could touch,

and had only one purpose for which to spend it. If Bonnie found out about this, she'd be so very

jealous right now.

The Entrance into the Middleton mall

Kim: So, now that we're here, what should we do first?

Ron: Whatever you want, my Kimila, besides, it's high time you do some splurging on yourself

after all the missions we've been on. Even the girl who can do anything could stand to live it up

like she's on vacation.

Kim: (thinking)_ Oh, God, my urge to glomp Ron and just make sweet love to him in front of all_

_these people is growing. If this continues, I'll have to take Ron into the nearest dressing room_

_of the nearest fashion store in the mall, and ride him for dear life, because all of his romanticism_

_is making me so wet right now. I've got to think of the most nonsexual thing in the world, think_

_the Zima guy, keep your hormones in check Kimmy, no matter how romantic Ron is being, or _

_how cute and handsome he is, or how sweet he is, or how sexy he's gotten, or even how well_

_endowed his member is. Oh, just thinking about that big hunk of meat inside of me makes me_

_so moist and wanting for him. Hell, even how well he's treating me is making me fall in love with_

_him all over again. I can't take it anymore, Kimmy needs her Ronshine bad._

Ron: (smiling his trademark goofball smile) So, whatever you want to do, you just name it, and I'll

make like your personal Genie, like that story of Aladdin, and grant every single wish you want,

because you're the only woman in my life who makes living in this crazy, mixed up world all the

more worthwhile.

Kim did not say a word, though she did swoon for her befreckled, blonde haired lover, and then

gave him a 12 minute frencher that left him speechless. Her lithe arms had found their place

around Ron's neck, and that only excited him more. So much so, that he began slowly but

seductively caressing her entire back, including her backside, which only served to entice her

even further. Just then, a spark of mischevious inspiration hit her again, the Club Banana store

here has a special modeling section for the customers toshow off how they look in Club Banana

fashion, she could give her Ron-man a private showing of how she looks in bikini where, and the

store has an ample amount of dressing rooms. When they broke apart, they were out of breath,

and breathed very heavily.

Kim: (after catching her breath) Ronnie-kins, I was thinking about getting some new things to

wear, how about we start with Club Banana, and I could repay you for all your troubles with a

personal and private showing of me in some new and risque bikinis, followed by a little fun in

one of the dressing rooms?

Ron: (waggles his eyebrows a bit) Oh, Kimmy, you're so delightfully naughty today, I like it.

Kim: (giving him a half-lidded look) I knew you would, my love, let's go.

Ron: Your wish is my command, milady!

This is an author's note: THIS STORY'S NOT A LEMON FAN FICTION! Thank you! Now

I'll just skip ahead to when they go to the food court to grab some grub, if you Hentai-yarou

don't like it, just use your imagination.

Kim: (a concerned look upon her face) So, Ron, do you think that G.J. will give us another

crack at Mankey, I mean, when he wakes up?

Ron: Maybe, are you thinking about going back to doing missions again?

Kim: (still a tiny bit uncertain) Well, I'm still a tiny bit burnt out from yesterday, but most of

me is leaning towards the side of yes. It's just that we can't take people who need our help

on face value anymore, and these new kinds of villains are willing to go for broke, they're even

willing to kill just to get what they want. If they don't, they'll even commit mass murders just

to ensure that no one else gets it.

Ron: Well we could always have E.T. get us a special class for handling sidearms, and a special

license to carry them. Then that way, we'll be able to protect ourselves and eachother, and still

be on the up and up. Plus, E.T. did get his cowboy lessons from his Uncle Bruce, that includes

trickshooting. I'm pretty sure he'll give us some private lessons himself.

Kim: (all shreds of uncertainty vanquished) Okay, we'll get back to doing missions again, but only

if we take measures to make sure that something like yesterday never happens again. We will

still accept pro bono missions, but we'll have to screen everyone who asks for us very closely,

and start carrying some small firearms with us on missions, or to a lesser extent, a couple knives

to protect ourselves. We'll only go for immobilizing our opponents first, but killing is an absolute

last resort.

Ron: (reassured that Kim's coming back into action) That's fine with me, but as long as we stick

together, there's no danger that can do us in, and no enemy that we can't face. We're partners

after all, and I'd be honored to continue going on all of these missions with you. All that we did

wrong was spread ourselves a little too thin, and it made the both of us a little loopy.

Kim: Yeah, I guess you're right, we were ill prepared that time, and our lifeline in the monitor

room was incompetent for ditching their duties all because of a poker party. Those two factors,

and learning that my ex was the prince of a Neo-Nazi New World Order movement, kind of had

me tweaked to the power of infinity, but I'm feeling a lot better now since it's out of my system.

Tell you what, I'll contact Wade and have him open the Team Possible website up again after

we get back. In the meantime, why don't you get a hold of E.T. on your Ronnunicator, and ask

him if he could give us a couple pointers on small arms combat.

Ron: Now there's the K.P. I know and love, smart, tough, brave, and last but not least, the most

beautiful and the sexiest woman I know.

Kim: (giggling like a school girl) Oh, Ron, you're the best boyfriend and partner I've ever had.

After they gave Wade and I the good news, and asked about some lessons in small arms type

combat, a small glint of hope overcame the both of us, that the next time around, Team Possible

will be readier and more independent than ever before, and I told them that the monitor crew that

botched everything up for us had been fired from their jobs, and had their correctional services

licenses revoked, and who supplied Mankey with the anabolic steroids. That doctor has since

been put under investigation, and it don't look too good for him, because there's enough proof

against him to not only have his medical license permanently revoked, but to give him permanent

residence within that prison as well. Score one more for the good guys! As for Monkey-boy, he

came out of his coma and is ready to question on our discretion. They were pleased to hear of

the news that we have another crack at getting actionable intelligence from Josh, so much so,

that they scheduled another visit for Mankey, tomorrow, and gave us a big thanks. Then they

disengaged the comunication and went back to their peaceful meal. That's when trouble reared

it's ugly, brunette haired head.

Bonnie: Well, well, well, if it ain't Kim Lossible and her pet monkey, Ron Sloppable, what are you

two losers doing in MY mall?

Ron: (infuriated by the loudmouth with the barracuda smile) Listen here, Little Ms. Seven Eleven,

me and Kim are just sharing a nice day out together, so back off or I'll give you another tirade like

last time, and for your information, this mall doesn't have the Rockwaller name on it, it's name is

Middleton mall, meaning it belongs to the people of Middleton. I'd be surprised to find out if hot

air isn't all that's residing inside that empty waste of space that you'd call your skull.

Bonnie: (snarky like a shark) Whatever, at least I finally graduated summer school, and going on

to college. So, what college are you two dorks going to, Clown University?

Bonnie was laughing loud and hearty at her own sarcastic joke, but all Kim & Ron did was just

smile together at the same time, in a wickedly evil grin that only Satan could pull off.

Kim: (turns to Bonnie) Actually, we're both going to the University of Colorado, and Ron now has

access to millions of dollars, on account of Dr. Drakken paying what he owed, and the Naco

Royalty slush fund, which is now in his name. So, who's your new boyfriend nowadays, Mr.

Purple?

Ron: Epic burn, and score another point for K.P.!

Bonnie: (looking at the two of them increduously) I don't believe you, as the inner city trash

that's named Monique would say, "Y'all must be straight tripping balls, Bitch".

Ron: (takes out his A.T.M. card) If you don't believe it, we could do a balance on my account,

at that conveniently placed A.T.M. right behind you. Fortunately, my Dad gave me the P.I.N.

code to access it, for me and only me to memorize.

Bonnie: (with a sugary sweet accent and tone of voice) You wouldn't be willing to share the code

and the card with your old buddy Bonnie, now would you?

Ron: (glares at her with sheer discontent) You're right about that, I wouldn't share those with a

gold digging slut, like yourself. Like I said to you at the graduating prom, I may never be normal,

but that doesn't mean I have to be stupid or crazy.

Kim: Sorry, Slut-zilla, your loss, my gain!

Bonnie: (looks to them in exasperation and sighs) Fine, lets get this over with.

As Ron slid his card in, Kim made Bonnie look away while he entered his personal identification

number code, by simply cracking her knuckles. When he did a balance on his account, his eyes

bugged out in surprise from finding out how much he has in his account, the same as Kim and

Bonnie. It had 900,000,000,000 dollars, and that was a lot.

Ron: Holy Naco, I'm Donald Trump!

Kim: Holy cow, my boyfriend's a multi-billionaire!

Bonnie: Holy shit, the motherfucking loser's loaded!

Ron had came out of his shock, but only long enough to leave Bonnie one more snarky remark.

Ron: Hey, Bon-bon, you say you graduated out of summer school?

Bonnie: Yeah, why do you ask?

Ron: You must've given your teachers a lot of blowjobs and free lays to achieve that.

Kim: Oooh, double burn, good one, Ronnie-kins!

With that, the two lovers left the former queen bee to grouse at her current misfortune, and

headed to the next stop on their day off.

Meanwhile at "The Village"

Dr. Drakken and Shego had finally stopped by, albeit they were a little miffed about it. I tried to

explain the situation as best as I could, but they decided to verbally express their frustrations of

being interrupted from their romantic activities.

Shego: Alright, Nerdlingers, you've better have a good excuse for interrupting me and my

Drewbie's bedroom fun, because if you don't...

E.T.: (rolling my eyes and finishes Shego's threat) I know, you'll fry us with your plasma blasts.

I'm not worried about that right now, besides, if anything else as serious as what Josh Mankey

did to Kim happens again, she could have a massive attitude relapse and start acting like...

Dr. Drakken: (briefly interrupts me to finish my sentence) Like Shego!

E.T.: Yes, like a total bitch, thank you, Dr. Lipsky.

Shego: (ignores my insult out of concern for Kim) Wait, do you mean to tell me that if a repeat of

yesterday occurs, she could go down the road I've traveled on before going straight?

E.T.: Exactomundo, Shego, and we need you to wait here and give Kim some insight and advice

by telling her about a trying personal experience from your former life as a superheroine.

Shego: Okay, so let me get this straight, you want me to play big sister to the princess, so that

she'll actually steer away from becoming a villain, or a mercenary.

E.T.: Yes, but only as a precaution.

Shego: Alright, but I expect to be well paid for this, because if I find out that I'm doing pro bono

work, I'll...

Dr. Drakken: (interrupts before Shego completes her threat) Sheila, please, E.T. and Wade are

indispensible at this time, and we'll need their help just as much as they need our help right now,

and there's not much time to waste. Besides, E.T.'s a professional, I'm sure that he'll be able to

give you due compensation for your troubles.

Shego: (starts laughing at me and Wade after looking at our facial expressions) Just joking, guys, but seriously, unless it's an emergency like this one, which I'd be glad to do for free, might I add, you should never interrupt me and Drewbie's alone time, it makes me cranky.

Wade: (shaking in his boots) S-s-s-s-sure, not...a problem.

E.T.: (still wearing a deadpan look on my face) Hey, whatever gets you through the night, Ms.

Gomez.

Meanwhile, at the Shocker Empire International Headquarters

Burton Mankey: (wearing an angry scowl on his visage) What do you mean they disappeared?

Team Possible has inadvertantly cost us trillions in accruement from all of our subsidiaries, and

turned my eldest son into a worthless laughing stock for all the world to ridicule. I mean, two or

three months ago, Jimmy Kimmel had taken pot shots at Josh, and S.N.L. did a parodial skit

about not only his crime and the preliminary and federal trials, but also his sentencing trial as well. Then MAD magazine did a parody about Josh and his actions leading up to becoming the global outcast, a misfit beyond misfits. That, plus all that restitution that the courts ordered us to pay the Possible family, has crumbled our business empire.

Shocker Grunt: Well, they were either picked up by someone who knows how we work, or by

someone in the Global Justice who can protect them, or both, my Emperor.

Burton: Well, that answers one question, but another remains unanswered. How in the hell did

they hack into all of our files, make copies of them, and then, leave us a virus that left riddles that

hide within them clues as to who their hired gun of hacking is after we solve them, only to render

our memory banks inerasible, and when we peace together the clues, it causes our network of

computer stations all over the world, all of our mainframes and databases, and the computers

themselves, to be permanently shutdown and inoperable, not to mention inaccessible?

S.G.: Well, according to our intel, this highly advanced worm/virus program could only be cooked

up by Edward Thurston Becker, heir of a North American trucking & transport enterprise named

the Leoco Transportation Firm, founded by a Leo Ed Becker. Intel also states that the type of

program he created and used was a Trojan Horse, which is an advanced program made to think

like it's a living organism, and that only a personally created Uber-computer can process. Also,

we tried to delve into his current state of employment, only to find the details of his professional

life to be sketchy, but it says here that he studied Miyagi-do karate, and both Kamiya-ryu kendo

and Himura-ryu battoujutsu. It also says he's the one man Manga-ka studio behind such classic

manga as Full Metal Samurai, Ryusazer, and Ultra Taskforce: Masked Rangers. There's also a

strong suspicion that he's been in the employ of Global Justice since childhood, and that he's an

all-around child protege of a techno-genius, but nothing can be proven. It is also rumoured that

he's not only responsible for giving G.J. their technology, but also building a giant humanoid mobile mecha, that only he alone can pilot.

Burton: (scratches his chin in ponderment) I do remember the name Leo Ed Becker from some far away place and time in the past, oh yes, he wouldn't sell his affluent company to me, so I had that stubborn and foolish little sod liquidated, with extreme prejudice, then stole all of the funds,

profits, and stock from his business. Anything else on the elder Becker lad?

S.G.: Yes, it's also rumoured that he took lessons in being a gunfighter, rodeo cowboy, expert

marksman, and trickshooter from Bruce Cartwright, the last descendent of the famous Cartwright

family out in San Francisco. If all these rumours turn out to be true, then we're looking at a love

child between Chuck Norris and Armuro Rei who's watched too much of Dexter's Laboratory,

and has justifiable delusions of being the next Stan Lee.

Burton: So, we could be dealing with a dangerous individual in E.T. Becker. Does he have any

relatives?

S.G.: Yes, but they've been a pain just to try and locate, it's like they all vanished from the face

of the earth.

Burton: (in an even angrier tone) Well keep searching for them, and don't return here until you've

brought me any news on the locations of these individuals, they've already put a hamper on one

of my operations, and we can't have any more slip-ups. Also, call in all of the favors from the

Consortium of Crime, Henchco, and the Worldwide Empire of Evil, and get them to locate and

infiltrate the top secret G.J. stronghold. Then, once it's infiltrated, destroy it, with any of those

pesky do-gooders and their families, friends, neighbors, and pals from G.J. with it.

S.G.: Ja'whol, Herr Kaiser Mankey!

Burton: Remember, nobody is to know about Project: Re-genesis, and if it leaks out, Operation:

Purification will be shutdown, and Shocker Products Corporation will go belly up. As for you,

Angela my dear, how goes hacking into the Team Possible mainframe?

Angela: Very well, my love, I've just pulled up the designs for both, a whole army of robotic helper

droids, and a high tech Bio-enhancement combat suit with deflector shields up the yin yang. We

could bring these into production, turn the helper robots in to assassin droids, and sell copies of

the suit as a new weapon for global warfare.

Burton: Excellent, you've done well as always, my lovely little viper, what about you, Dr. Bortel,

how goes the Cerebral Control Chip, have you managed to combine the unique functions of the

Attitudinator, Reverse Polarizer, Moodulator, and Behavioral Controller devices?

Dr. Bortel: Ja, Mien Kaiser, I've managed to construct a chip that rids its wearer of all tought,

emotion, and memories, as well as allow anyone in command of the Pan Global Computer

Transciever to program and control any kind of thought they want, thus giving us the perfect

slaves for a new order of peace and happiness for our race, if you'll look on the televiewer,

you'll see a demonstration of it in action.

On the viewer, the massive man-mountain known as Warren Sapp was seen shackled to

a chair. The nefarious doctor then pulls out a small handheld P.D.A. like device and used

it to activate the chip that was subutainiously implanted at the back of Warren Sapp's neck,

and right beside him was Kimbo Slice, and he was in the same kind of predicament, but of

course, both had woken from their slumber and started doing a Waltz together when thier bonds

were disengaged, and the two M.M.A. fighters got out of their seats. Both men were wearing

smiles on their faces. Dr. Bortel then switched the programming around and made the two men

start crying on one another's shoulder, in a brotherly and sympathetic embrace. Then, the mad

doctor switched it again and made the two men start laughing for no apparent reason, leaning on

eachother and holding their sides as if they were to burst, and then they recieved the signal to

stop, and to remain still as Shocker Grunts brought in two plates of live worms. Then the doctor

continued the demonstration by programming the two men to go into an eating contest, and both

men had emptied both of their plates at the same exact time, and went into a duet of "I'm a little

teapot" while performing the dance moves of the musical number in complete synchronization

and total unison, just as they were programmed to do. Finally, the two men faced eachother and

got real angry, and proceeded to kick eachother's asses, just as that looney Dr. Bortel had them

programmed for. Then, the two men stop, almost as if they were machines, but only at the whim

of Dr. Bortel. With the demonstration over, the insane doctor wore a sadistically evil grin on his

face as he addressed his employer once again.

Dr. Bortel: As you can see, the C.C.C. has the ability to shutdown all of the sensory centers of

the brain, along with the memory and emotion centers, causing anyone implanted with it to be

turned into a zombie like humanoid in control of nothing as all of their original toughts and habitual instincts and impulses are transferred to the subconciousness center of the human brain, then, with the Pan Global Transciever, which sends programs and data to any and all chips all over the world, via Shocker sattellites, we can control every aspect of the people's lives. This will make us into the lords and masters of the world.

Just then, Burton Mankey was hit with a spark of inspiration.

Burton: I just had a thought, why don't we combine your technology with the battle suit and the

robot assassins to make the perfect soldier? That way, if anyone opposes us, we can have them

all wiped out, and still be in full control.

Angela: But the only way we can achieve that goal is if we make them into cyborgs, and the best

cybernetics expert we have on hand is Dr. Toshihiro Midorikawa.

Burton: Exactly!

Witth that, they all agreed to go through with Burton Mankey's plan. They then adjourned the

meeting and return to their daily grind.

Middleton Jewelers, Middleton, Colorado

Kim: What are we doing here, Ron?

Ron: Well, I just wanted to do just one small thing, and I kind of need your help. You see, I just

thought that, with all that happened to us, and life being so short, I could pick out an engagement

ring for you.

Kim: You mean you want to marry me?

Ron: (shrugs his shoulders and rubs the back of his neck) Well yeah, I even got .P.'s

blessing after I scheduled everything with E.T., and I wanted to do this right, but this sitch

just doesn't permit it, I understand if you don't want to rush into things, but I just want you

to know that I've always loved you, and I always will.

Kim: (crying tears of joy) You mean to tell me that you're actually proposing to me, why didn't

you tell me about this earlier, you big lug?

Ron: Well, This IS my way of telling you.

With that, Kim tackled Ron onto the floor, kissing him all over his face and hugging the life out of

him. Then,the two lovers shared an intensely passionate frencher that lasted 12 whole minutes

until they broke apart, breathing heavily as they did.

Ron: (after catching his breath) So, was that a yes, or what?

Kim: (after she and Ron had gotten up) Well what do you think?

Ron: Well, why didn't you just tell me yes?

Kim: Well this IS my way of telling you.

Just then, the store attendant had appeared, and his bald head, long, pointy nose,

trimmed, grey moustache, beady, little eyes, and pocket monocle made him look

as snooty and snobbish as he really is. He approached the young lovers and brought

them out of whatever romantic haze they were in as they embraced eachother.

Store Attendant: I'm sorry, but this is not the Bueno Naco, it's just down the street to the right,

you can't miss it.

Ron: Yeah, we know that.

S.A.: Then why are you two here anyways? You two adolescent juvie hall rejects know that we

don't sell Smarty Mart brand jewelry, which I'm afraid is pretty much all you can afford by the way,

here in this establishment.

Ron: (starting to go all M.M.P.) Of all the condesending, unmitigatible, deflamatory...

Everybody should know that when Ron starts using the school word vocabulary, that he's getting

angry, and you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Kim: (while kissing him to calm him down...and it works) What my better half is trying so hard to

say is that we're a year or so above the state of Colorado's legal age of consent, and can even

produce identification to further convince you of that little known fact.

S.A.: (sighing) Very well, but answer my question before I have our security guard, Bruno, escort

the both of you off the premisess.

Ron: (swallows his pride and answers) Well, it's like this, you see, we came in here to pick out &

purchase an engagement ring, and were wondering if you had any of them in stock.

S.A.: (in a sarcastic manner) Why, so you could pilfer it with your grubby little hands?

Ron: (eyes glow blue as he gets madder) You foolishly diluded and obnoxiously arrogant insect

of little to no signifigance, I have fought and slain two overgrown maggots whom were far more

superior than you, so if I were you, I wouldn't serve to further incise my ire.

Kim: (calms Ron down by kissing him again) Take it easy, Ronnie-baby, he's just trying to goad

you.

Ron: (after calming down) You're right, my beloved Kimila, but it's getting tougher and tougher to

do. No, Sir, and I use that term loosely in your case, we're here to make a legitimate purchase.

S.A.: Very well, I'll just need to get the selection out for the two of you to paruse, that means

to look, not to touch, while I verify your identifications.

Ron: Sure!

Kim: Okay!

After producing their I.D.'s to the store attendant, he brought out a selection tray full of expensive

looking engagement rings. while he went to have the I.D.'s verified, Ron & Kim picked out a 14

karat gold ring with a center stone shaped in the form of a heart, and made from a laser cut and

perfected emerald, with diamond inlets in the shape of wedding bells on either side of the center

stone. They were also very careful to not touch any of the rings, seeing as it would set him off.

After checking their I.D.'s, the store attendant came out.

S.A.: So, have you detention hall losers picked a suitable ring yet?

Ron: (keeping anger hidden as Kim held onto his hand) Yes, we have, we choose the emerald

heart ring, the one with the wedding bell diamond inlets, if you'd please.

S.A.: (rudely and with a hint of venom) I'm sorry, but I'm on a coffee break, union rules and all.

Ron: (with his teeth clenched in rage) May we please speak with your store's manager, sir?

S.A.: (pointing to the store manager who is inspecting some new merchandise) He's right over

there, but I can't guarantee that he'll help you procure that ring any faster.

Kim: We'll see about that.

With that, the teen heroes had went to the manager, whom recognized them right off the bat,

and was eternally grateful for all that they did for the world. When Team Possible had filed

their grievence about the store attendant, he was enfuriated. So to resolve the situation, he

went to the store attendant and threatened to bump him all the way down to a janitor.

Store manager: Alright, Mr. Reginald Rockwaller, if I here one more complaint about you from

our store's most famous customers, I'll bump you down to janitor duties tomorrow morning,

and if it's two more, I'll make sure that you'll never work in this town ever again. Now are we

in Sympatico?

Reginald: (fuming with great annoyance) Yes, sir, I'll be mindful of my actions around those

two this time, I'll just ring this little number up on the register and be on my way.

Manager: Alrighty then, just remember that I'll be watching for you to slip up, and as for you,

Mr. Stoppable and Ms. Possible, if you need anything else, just let me know.

Kim & Ron: (in simultaneous unison) Thank you very much, sir.

After Reginald had scanned the ring's barcode into the computer, the price came up to be

eigty five hundred dollars. Back when he was confirming their legal age, he had a chat with

his niece, Bonnie Rockwaller, about Ron's recent accruement of an eleven figure sum. It

was then that he devised a plan to use an illegal computer component known as a skimmer,

which takes down the bank account information of paying customers, right down to their P.I.N.

numbers, whenever they make purchases through a debit or A.T.M. card. It's also handy for the

theft of personal info from the victims social security files. The only problem is that Dean had his

son enrolled for Life Lock, which is an anti-identity theft monitoring service that alerts people of

attacks on any of their personal and financial records the very minute they occur. This helps to

minimize the response time that other monitoring services would take, which could be anywhere

from months to years on end. Uh-oh, it looks like Life Lock has traced the attack on Ron's bank

account to the jewelry shop he's inside of, and sent a notice to him via his Ronnunicator.

Ron: (after getting the notice from Life Lock) You arrogant son of a bitch, you were trying to steal

all of the money in my account. You must be using a skimmer to copy all of my bank information

for a big withdrawl. Kim, you go get the manager while I hold Reggie here for the cops.

Kim: So not the drama, Ron, I'll be back before you can say "supercalifragilisticexpialid ocious".

And so, after alerting the manager, Kim had returned with the manager in tow. As he inspected

Reginald's desk and terminal, he was getting flustered because there was no proof in sight. But

Ron had learned that a skimmer was an illegal comptuer attachment from yours truly, the key,

operational word being "computer", and suggested to the manager that he should look inside the

tower of the computer itself. When he did, he found a suspicious piece of circuitry attached to

the harddrive and mother board of the computer, and bearing a label that said "property of Mr.

Reginald Rockwaller". Needless to say, Kim, Ron, and especially the store manager were all

pissed off.

The Store Manager: (looks at Reginald while holding a skimmer in his hand) Reginald, you've got

some explainations to make.

In that same instant, Reginald produced a 9 mm. Barretta from his shoulder holster, which was

hidden underneath his business suit's jacket, and took a point blank aim for Kim's head. Kim,

however, kicked the gun out of his hands and into the air, then snatched it up before it fell onto

the floor. With his weapon in the hands of a visibly enraged Kim Possible, Reginald tried to head

for the emergency exit, only to be shot in the back of his left knee by Kim, who readily and easily

aimed the gun and gently squeezed on it's trigger. While Reginald was gripping his injured knee

and screaming out in pain, Kim had walked up to him, pointing the weapon's business end right at

his head. She was about to squeeze the trigger when she felt the hand of her beloved on her right

shoulder.

Ron: Take it easy there, Kimila, we got him dead to rights. You don't have to kill this buttwipe,

he just isn't worth it.

Kim: Oh, he is so totally worth it. First he makes crude insinuations about us, then he gets

rude, snooty, and snide with the both of us, and last but not least, he tries to steal the money

that rightfully belongs to you. Now you want me to let that this asshole live, when the law will

have him out and about on the street, stealing money from other innocent people, people that need

said money to pay for groceries, rent, clothing, medical treatments, and medicine. Sorry, no

can do, unless he gives us a good reason to spare his worthless, miserable, and pathetic life.

Reginald: (pleading for his very life) Please don't kill me, it will never happen again. I'll give you

anything, money, free jewelery, anything. Just please don't kill me.

Kim: I won't kill you yet, but you've gotta convince me to spare your sad, little life, otherwise it's

the silver bullet express down the highway to hell for you.

Reginald: (sweating bullets and messing his pants) Look, I know you probably think I'm the one

who set your friend up with that skimmer, but I only used it just now, and only because someone

other than myself wanted all of his bank information, and promised me a fifty percent cut if I got it

all for them.

Kim: Who was it that you were working with? You have until the count of three to answer, one,

two...

Reginald: (panicing like a Japanese fellow running from Godzilla) Okay, it was my youngest niece,

Bonnie Rockwaller. While I was in the back, I let her know that you were here, and she came up

with the idea to use the skimmer on Ron's A.T.M. card, so we could rob him blind for all he's worth

and get away with it, scott-free. I'll give you anything, I'll even turn myself in, please, don't kill me.

When Reginald began sobbing and crying while balling up into the fetal position, Kim couldn't help

but feel a complex mix of emotions, the rush of holding a wicked person's life in her hands, and the

sudden realization that not only was she about to pull the trigger and kill an injured, unarmed man,

but that she enjoyed it. Both of these scared her to death, so much so, that she went into a deep,

emotional state of shock. She was about to turn into the one thing that she swore to never, ever

become, a cold-hearted killer. She slowly eased the grip on the trigger and lowered the gun, then

breathed a sigh of relief. After she gathered her wits about her, she handed the Barretta to the

store manager and ran into Ron's arms, crying on his shoulder as the manager called the cops

and handed Reginald his two weeks notice of unemployment. A few minutes later, Chief Hobble

had arrived and took down everyone's statements, including Kim's confession of almost killing a

criminal out of cold blood. Hobble, having heard about what happened to her at the Dale Marsden

Prison from his good friend, the warden up there, decided to let her off with only a warning, but only

because she came to her senses and stopped herself from committing an act of vigilante justice.

When they were through, Ron resumed the transaction of purchasing the ring from the manager.

The manager however, decided to give them the ring instead, saying that it'll be written off as legal

compensation for all the trouble that Reginald had caused. Well, that wraps up the drama for Kim

and Ron, let's see what kind of drama that's unfolding for Bonnie.

Rockwaller Estate, Middleton, Colorado

Bonnie: (on the phone with Reginald) Uncle Reggie, so nice to hear from you, did you transfer all

of the funds like I asked? What?! They found out about the skimmer, how? The loser's got

Life Lock? This is terrible, if Kim ends up marrying that dweebish loser, her and her suck-tacular

family will have enough money to open up a business of their own, or worse, buy out any of the

other companies that were dumped by S.P.C. and make a fortune off of it, and if that happens, they're gonna buy out another one, and so on, and so on, and so on, until theyhold a monopoly on big business in general. My father could lose his worldwide chain of hotels, motels, and hostels

all over the globe. Just keep your yap shut and I'll be down there with Hank Perkins to get you

situated. What do you mean I'm gonna need him more than you will, you didn't strike a deal

with the cops, did you? You did, you stupid asshole, you are so off the Rockwaller Family

Christmas Reunion Guest list. You told them that I had a hand in this, and they told Ron's parents that he's pressing charges against me. That's just what I need, now all of my old posse's gonna have a field day with this. If this reaches court, who do they think will preside over this case? Judge Ryan "Lockdown" Locke, as in the same guy who sent Josh Mankey up the river? That's just great, I'm probably gonna face jail time for it, right? Good, I thought as much. The cops are also gonna wanna take me in downtown, I bet. Yeah, I figured on that. I'll be sure to give them a warm reception when they get here. Okay, you sit tight, I'll be there as soon as they get here. I'll talk to you later, and by the way, did you at the very least kill that bitch, Kim Possible yet? DAMN!

Bonnie throws the phone at the nearest wall, shattering it completely and walked into the family

room to give a detailed report to her parents. Apparently, she hadn't counted on Ron having so

much security coverage, or Kim having a homicidal side to her. Now that there was absolutely

no chance of her getting Ron to join her as a memeber of the Shocker Empire, or at the very

least, reducing him to a life of abject poverty, she was running out of options, save for one,

killing him. She had a truckload of particulars to sort out if she was going to achieve such a

feat however, for one thing, as long as nothing separates Kim & Ron from one another, Ron will

still have an unbreakable spirit that will help him to summon his M.M.P. in order to either survive,

or save the day beside Kim. For another, the only way to make him retract his powers is to kill

the one woman who's been the bane of her entire exsistence from day one, Kim Possible. The

last problem was that as long as either of them still drew breath, they would protect the other

to their very last, and then it hit her. She could use prototype 3C's and the transciever device

that Dr. Bortel had sent her, both as a graduation present, and as a controlled experiment. All

she really needs to do is put one of the 3C's on the back of the neck of both Kim & Ron, then

switch on the transciever, and she got her self a couple of braindead zombies waiting to be

programmed. Then she can just program them to kill eachother without the use of weapons,

gadgets, or M.M.P., just pure bare knuckled fighting until they both die from their injuries.

Now, for the real bitch of a sitch, how to get close enough to do it.

Philip: So my youngest brother screwed the pooch on this one, oh well. As long as he doesn't

turn state's witness against you, you have nothing to worry about. Besides, that buffoon is just

another expendable asset.

Bonnie: But that's just it, Dad, Uncle Reggie had squealed on me, fingering me for the goddamn

mastermind behind the outfit. Now the only way that I can avoid jail time is to get Hank Perkins

to act as my lawyer. Plus, I've found out some yummy little intel on the so-called reigning Ms.

Perfect of Middleton. After visiting Prince Joshua at the Dale Marsden prison, she ended up

traumatized, after he laid down a world of pain on her pretty little face, and the guards weren't

watching the security monitors. Since then, she's been experiencing drastic mood swings that

range from her usual attitude, all the way to being either a homicidal vigilante-type psychopath,

or a cold, emotionless, ruthless bitch, kind of like me, only I'm way more prettier than her.

Veronica: And as for our heir apparent, what on earth happened to him?

Bonnie: According to my sources, he's undergoing a massive series of surgeries to repair his

shattered limbs, all of which had broken sockets and joints. So after the repairs are finished,

his shoulders, hips, elbows, knees, wrists, and ankles are gonna have to be reinforced with

surgical screws. That means that Josh is gonna be an inbelid for the rest of his natural life.

It's simply because his limbs will be rendered so stiff that they'd be virtually useless, then

there's that new kind of joint replacement made from high density polymer that is less likely

to cause problems of a medical nature from long time, or even permanent implantation. As

an added bonus, because of the unique properties of this polymer, it is virtually indestructible,

and the only thing that could possibly destroy it is a high intensity plasma energy bolt.

Philip: Say no more, my little Bon-bon, we'll handle Josh and his mobility problem, and phone

good old Hank for you, meanwhile, try and cooperate with the police when they get here, and if

it's at all in your power, please keep activities of Shocker a secret.

Bonnie: Not a problem, Daddy, you can count on me. Besides, I know the value of a secret,

unlike my last boyfriend.

Philip: That's my girl.

Meanwhile, with Ron & Kim

Kim was still in a state of deep shock after realizing what she almost did, she had never felt so

low in her entire life. She had held a criminal's life in her own hands, and was ready to snuff it

out without pity, remorse, or hesitation, just a strong instinct of survival and one hell of a rush of

adrenaline. When it died down however, she came back to her right mind, and figured that it had

to do with the Dale Marsden Incident. It must've amped up her will and natural instincts for the

acts of survival, that it threw her brain out of whack whenever she felt threatened, was hurt, or to

a great extent, angered beyond belief. Then, whoever threatened, hurt, or angered her, would

feel the wrath of 16 styles of Kung Fu with the safety off, and be killed without a second thought.

She then began to think as to what if Ron had been the one to hurt her, threaten her life, or anger

her like no tomorrow. Would she either let him live, or kill him outright? Ron, however, was so

focused on other things at the time. For example, how Bonnie Rockwaller, the former Queen of

mean from Middleton High School, had went from being H.S.E., as Monique would put it, all the

way to becoming a criminal and an identity thief. He then turned his gaze to Kim, who slipped

out of his protective embrace, and put a good deal of distance between herself and Ron.

Ron: (with overwhelming concern) Kim, are you okay?

Kim: (tears of anguish welling up) No I'm not, Ron, it's just that I realized that what happened at

the jewelery store could very well happen again. Only it'll be you filling Reggie's shoes, and me

playing the police, judge, jury, and executioner all at the same time. As much as I love you, Ron,

I don't think we could ever have a future together, let alone still go on missions as a team ever

again.

Ron: (feeling like a ton of bricks fell on him) Kim, you're not saying that we should break up and

disband Team Possible, are you?

Kim: (the tears finally stream down her face) Yes, I am, I mean, what if something goes wrong,

and I end up killing you, whether it's just an accident or it's because I can't control my temper

around you anymore? Not to mention the fact that I can no longer help people if all I think about

is killing them. Face it, Ron, Shocker has won, and you'd probably be better off with someone

else who's not so mentally unstable, like Yori, or Hope even.

Ron: (looking seriously and intently at Kim) Kimberly Ann Possible, shut up and listen.

When Ron said those words, he said them with a combination of forcefulness, authority, and

conviction. It was so strong that it made Kim shut up and forget about her little self-pity party.

Man, he said it good!

Ron: Okay, here's what I think, and this is just my personal opinion mind you, but I think you're

going through a sort of emotional recovery for survivors of what's known as battered spouse

syndrome. Yesterday, you were at the first stage, which is anger. Then, when you yelled at

me back at the jeweler's place, I could see more of that anger bubble up, as well as a huge

amount of terror, which means you've entered the second stage, fear. Now, you're entering the

third stage of B.S.S., depression.

Kim: (looking at Ron increduously) Now you're being ridiculous, because I'm not depressed.

Ron: Actually, you're now in the fourth stage, denial.

Kim: (carefully thinks about what Ron has said) Okay, maybe I'm depressed and I'm masking

it with a bit of denial, but I have a good reason for it. I almost killed a guy, and while I was about

to kill him, I imagined that I was gonna kill Josh Mankey. Then, when Reggie was begging me to

spare his life, all that anger went away, and I realized what I was about to do. I began feeling a

hell of a lot of guilt because of it. Now, whenever I think about it, I just feel like crawling under a

rock and die, I never knew that I could be so merciless until today, and now that I do know, I just

feel so scared of myself, and so bad for whatever sins I could've committed back then.

It was then that Kim finally let out a shitload of waterworks. She had just moved up from denial,

all the way to guilt for her actions. She now thought of herself as no better than a dangerous and

deadly monster that was fit to be terminated. However, Ron did the only thing that he knew in his

heart could help ease the symptoms of her self-guilt, he drew her in his comforting embrace.

Ron: (while holding a crying Kim in his arms) There, there, Kimila, it's gonna be alright. Nobody

got killed today, and you did stop the bad guy from getting away. Even when you felt like killing

the bastard, you stopped yourself, which means that you're not too far gone to be saved. I know

that you've just entered the fifth stage of B.S.S., which is guilt, but you've got nothing to be guilty

about. I mean, what happened to you could've happened to anyone, and when it looked like that

bastard, Josh Mankey, was about to do a coup de gras on you, a huge part of me wanted to end

his miserable exsistence. But were it not for E.T. talking me down from it, I'd be in prison for the

crimes of vigilantism and murder in the first degree. Instead, I'm right here beside you, the most

bon-diggity best friend-girlfriend a guy could ask for, and my beautiful fiance and soon-to-be wife,

whom I'm lucky to know at all, and blessed to be engaged to.

Kim: (stops crying, but sniffles a little bit) You mean you actually risked going to prison for me?

Ron: (showing his trademark goofball grin) You bet I did, I wasn't about to let my partner/lover get

offed by a jealous Neo-Nazi of an ex-boyfriend. Besides, you're the only woman worth living, or

dying, or even killing for in my eyes, and you're also worth going to prison, or to hell for. I love

you, K.P., and I'd face the hounds of hell a thousand times over before I let anything bad happen

to you.

Kim: (thinking to herself) _Oh, Ron, you were willing to throw your future away just to save my life,_

_and how did I repay your recklessly romantic act of bravado? I tried to push you away, I tried to_

_hurt you, and I tried to abandon you, when you obviously need me, just as much as I need you._

_I've been so foolish in letting the events of yesterday get to me, letting them have control over_

_me, but that won't happen again. I promise that I never will make those same god forsakened_

_mistakes again, so long as I live. Just let me know when you become a quadrillionaire ahead of_

_time, I don't think I can handle it without giving you a massive dose of raucous lovemaking._

Once Kim had finished her train of thought, she snuggled into Ron's chest, hugging him so tightly, that he nearly lost all conciousness. As for Ron, he held onto her just as tightly, afraid that if he lets go of her, she'll vanish right before his eyes. He then rested his chin on top of her head, and gently brushed his hand on her silky red locks, humming to the tune of "Say the word", and for one fleeting moment, everything was right in their own little world. They had forgotten about almost everything that had led to this brief and rare occasion, one where they weren't the heroes of all of the world, or international celebrities, it was one where they were just a man and a woman, both of whom fell in love with one another a while's back, and only ended up falling even deeper in love with each other everyday since then. As they were being chauffered back to "The Village" by Will Du, they quietly nestled up together and took a short little nap. Only this time around, they were safe in each other's arms, and they felt like nothing could ever hurt them again. All of a sudden, Ron started glowing all bluish white all around his entire body, and then, the glow had encompassed all over Kim's sleeping form as well. The shining aura had

enveloped them both as if it was protecting them, enhancing them, or maybe even both at the same time. However, that is for another chapter yet to be written.

Meanwhile, during the Great Rider Battle...

Michael Eisner #3329 had exhausted all of his Riders, their attacks, and their gear just trying

to land a hit on me, just as much as I did trying for an assault on him, all except for the K.R.D.

Cards that I wisely saved for one last hurrah. I still had my Decader bike, Rider Slash, Rider

Blast, Rider Illusion, and my hand-to-hand finishers, I was basically in better shape than he

was, situationly speaking. So I used my Decadriver to activate the Decader Ride Machine

card and it appeared out of nowhere. As M.E. #3329 tried to seek me out, on account had to

hide behind some rocks before he could ever finish me off, I straddled the bike and got ready

to do some serious riding, Tokusatsu Style. After a stylish death-defying jump over some

rocks and stuff, I circled all around M.E. #3329, and activated my next card, Rider Illusion,

then I had switched my Ride Booker from card storage mode to gun mode as my clones,

whom were on their own Decaders, followed in suit, after we each pulled out our own Rider

Blast cards. The three of us then used our own Decadrivers to acivate them, and shot M.E.

#3329 right on target at the same exact time. He then was flung up into the air, due to the

force of the blasts, and came back down, hitting the ground hard, like a ton of bricks. After he

started to recover, we disengaged from our bikes then switched our Ride Bookers back to

Card Storage Mode, and drew oput the Rider Slash cards before switching our Ride Bookers

to sword mode. Then, when he got back up and readied his Diendriver to shoot at us, I

activated my Rider Slash card while the clones followed my actions very closely, and while I

Rider Slashed his Diendriver out of his hand, destroying it completely, while the clones scored

Rider Slashes on his chest and head, destroying his armor as well. Once he returned to

being a normal human being, one of my clones pulled out a Rider Chop Final Attack Ride

card, while the other pulled ot a Rider Punch Final Attack Ride card, and I pulled out my Rider

Kick Final Attack Ride card. We each activated these moves through using the Decadrivers,

and when we did the clone with the Rider Punch had ran through a pathway of cardlike gates

until his move was energized enough, while the other one had gathered cardlike energy bolts

into his arm as he prepared to do a knife hand chop, and as for me, i jumped up into the air,

set myself up for a flying sidekick through a chute made up of cardlike gates which, like the

gates of the Rider Punch, were made of pure energy. Once we made contact with the target,

it exploded. After the battle is over, my clones dematerialize and the Decadriver powers down

and I return to normal. Well the important lesson about this story is: "When one opens up a

strange looking suitcase of some unknown origin, you get a weirdly pink suit of armor that

turns you into different Kamen Riders from various seasons, movies, and T.V. specials, not

to mention all the D.V.D. specials." Well that wraps up another chapter, read, review, and

call me in the morning . Later, Gators! 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, Dudes and Dudettes, RiderV3Stoppable here, and boy was the last chapter

a doozy, first we see Kim & Ron on a nice and peaceful date which was almost

ruined when Bonnie added her two cents in. Trust me when I say this, though

ol' Bon-bon doesn't look like it, a night with her is only worth two cents. But back

to the overview, because it looks like Shocker is trying to get the skinny on me,

and have succeeded in turning people into zombies. They also managed to hack

into Wade's files on the Wade-bots and Battlesuit, but what in the shitting fuck is

Project Re-genesis, and what part will it play in Operation: Purification? As for

Ron getting a whopping 12 figure sum on his eighteenth birthday, that was just a

whole lot of epic right there. Then for added drama, I addressed the problem of

identity theft and bank fraud, it's destroying America's economy each and every

single day, and it can end up being unpunished unless you can catch it early

enough for it to be preventable. Unfortunately, I do not own the anti-identity theft

monitoring service known as Life Lock, if I did, I'd be a made man. I also had a

go at battered spouse syndrome, or even domestic violence in general, and the

psychological and emotional damage it could bring. Then there's the side plot

of Bonnie Rockwaller, and her plot to defraud Ron Stoppable out of his rightfully

earned money. Don't worry though, Bon-bon will get hers in this installment, and there'll be a lot of all-out action and adventure coming your way, and last but not least, we'll see Shego finally play Dr. Phil. We'll also find out about their Project:

Re-genesis, and how Operation: Purification comes into play. We'll also see our

friend, Takeshi Hongo, get swept up in an assassination plot to kill Team Possible

and test out their new cybernetic soldiers in practical conditions. So sit back, chill

out, and read and review, because this is the pivotal chapter that brings every bit

of the action, drama, humour, romance, and intrigue to a head. As always, I don't

own either Kim Possible or Kamen Rider. Kim Possible is owned by the Disney

Corporation, Mark McCorkle, Bill Kopp, and Robert Schooley. While the series,

"Kamen Rider", is owned by the late, great Ishinomori Shoutaro, Toei Eiga Co.,

Adness Entertainment, Bandai Entertainment, and ShoPro Productions. Please

support the official releases, and thank you for reading and reviewing. Now let's

get the ball rolling on this...

Hiroshi Tanahashi: (as he's entering the room) Moshi moi, Rider-san!

With a yell of "Zoinks!", and all the physical prowess of a jungle cat, I jumped up

and clung to the cieling using nothing but my fingers. To say I've been spooked

would be the understatement of the eon, but appropriate, none the less. As I was

hanging from the cieling, I looked down and saw Hiroshi Tanahashi, now I know

with whom to be angry with. Hiro-kun, get me down from here!

Hiroshi: (in a dead-on impression of Barney Rubble) Don't worry, Rider-san, I'll go

get a ladder and get you down from there.

Well what do you want me to do while you're getting a ladder, and why do you of

all people need a ladder anyway? You're taller than me and, not to mention, a

hell of a lot stronger than I am for Saint Peter's sake.

Hiroshi: Well, to answer your first question, hang around for a little bit. As for your

second question, I may be able to do missile drop kicks, but I'm not "Air Jordan",

and thusly, can't jump up that high.

Well, couldn't you just get into position beneath me, and catch me when I let go?

Hiroshi: Nah, that'll never work, wait a minute, how about I get under where you're

hanging from, and I'll catch you when you let go?

THAT'S WHAT I JUST SAID!

Hiroshi: Look, you want me to get you down or not? Besides, I got some mail

for you, and I think you might wanna read it.

Okay, okay, okay, just get me down, will ya'? I've got a story to write here.

After Hiroshi gets into position and gives me the okay, I dislodge my fingers

from the cieling and fall into Hiroshi's arms. Before I go any further, I wish to

say one, and only one thing: No Homo!

Hiroshi: (as he's setting me down on my own two feet) There you go, Rider-san,

it's a good thing that I caught you when you fell.

Thanks for the help, Hiro-kun, I'll be perfectly fine now. Now let's get this started,

shall we?

Hiroshi: But what about the mail, aren't you even gonna read this letter?

Depends, who's it from?

Hiroshi: Well there's actually two, one's from Kim & Ron, and the other's from an

anonymous adress.

Well I'll read the first one first, after all, it can't be too bad. With that, Hiroshi gave

me the first letter, and I take out my katana-shaped letter opener to open the first

envelope. Once it's been opened, I take the letter out, and here's what it said.

_Dear, Rider V3 Stoppable, we've been following your story for quite sometime,_

_and it just keeps getting better and better. Even though you're new to the fan_

_fiction business, we can see that a lot of thought and a great deal of love for_

_writing as an art form has been put into it. We hope you never lose that passion_

_and drive for writing stories of great heroes and fantastic adventures which was_

_deep inside of you from day one. If one day, you should decide to go into the_

_writing arts proffessionally, we want you to know that we'll be supporting you from_

_the sidelines and anticipate the sales of your very first novel. We're 100% sure_

_that it will be a blockbuster of a hit in the annoles of literary history for years to_

_come. As you yourself had put it best: "Keep frosty!"_

_With lots of love, Kim & Ron_

_P.S.: Thanks for decimating the moron who got us cancelled. We've been waitng_

_for someone with the cajones to deal Michael Eisner a truckload of butt-hurt._

Hiroshi: That was nice of them, don't you think?

Yeah, it was, I'll send them a Christmas card sometime around. That will be all,

Hiro-kun, I'll read the other one later.

Hiroshi: Okay, you're the author after all.

Okay, fan fiction readers, writers, and reviewers, I'm about to lay another fresh

chapter down on you, Lowtech style, from my brain, to my fingers, and then, to

you, the fans of this story. I dedicate this story to all the K.P. fans, tokusatsu

fans, and any fans of unique mythologies about incredible heroes, amazing

adventures, and you, the adventurers, crimefighters, rescuers, doctors, the

miltiary personnel, and the escapists who work the nine-to-five by day, but join

in on the journey through this decade when you get home. You guys truly are the

embodiment of the next decade.

_**Chapter 6: Ron the unstoppable**_

Other than the strange glow in the back, Will Du had ignored the two teenage lovers and kept

his eyes on the road. He had no choice, at all, in the matter. Even though he wanted to drive

the limo off a cliff, jump out of it at the moment before it plummeted to it's demise, and finally

be rid of Team Possible once and for all, the threat of castration that Rufus had posed was all

the reason he needed not to go through with his insane murder plot. That, and all of my own

limos have an advanced tracking system that record all of it's movements and sends the data

to G.J. headquarters, but when you're in the business of saving the world 24/7, it's necessary

to afford to be a little paranoid. The drive all the way to "The Village" was uneventful and with

no distractions to deter them. When he pulled into the garage, the whole lot of us gathered

there to greet our friends whom have a couple things to announce, we hope that these bits

of news and information are pleasant, it would suck John Holmes' dick big time if they weren't.

E.T.: (with a smile that could rival the Cheshire Cat) Hey, guys, welcome back. I hope you had

a pleasant day out. I trust that Dookie-boy hasn't given you too much trouble.

Ron: (with a polite smile on his face) Actually, Will's been the epitome of professionality through

out the whole trip, and up until me & Kim kinda hit a little snag at our last stop, we practically

had ourselves a blast.

E.T.: (in a curious mood) Really, what happened to you, guys?

Kim: (with a slight twinge of anger at the sitch) Oh, nothing much, just Bonnie, the queen of

all bitch-dom, teaming up with her uncle to swipe up my fiance's hard earned cash. They were

using a computer device called a skimmer, and tried to steal Ron's bank information to set up

two fraudulent accounts in their names. Thankfully, their plans had been snuffed right out of the

gate.

E.T.: Let me guess, Dean had a Life Lock account set up in Ron's name, and they alerted

him before the transaction was finished?

Kim & Ron: (at the same time) Yes, they did.

E.T.: Good, I thought so, and what happened next, the dude pull a gun on Kimmy only to

have it turned back against him?

Ron: Yes, and she shot at him when he tried to make a break for it, then held him at gun point

and grilled his ass like American cheese.

Rufus: Hnk! Cheese!

E.T.: Good, I thought so. What's this about you two being engaged, now then, what did you do,

stop at a nearby jeweler to get an engagement ring?

Kim & Ron: (in unison) How'd you know?

E.T.: I didn't, I just took a lucky guess.

Meanwhile, at the Rockwaller estate

Philip: Okay, my little Bon-bon, I called Hank Perkins from the Shocker Legal offices and told

him to meet you there. He'll handle all of the legal faulderal and try to get you off with only a

misdemeanor charge. All you have to do is shift all the blame onto Reginald, deny any sort of

wrong doing, and take the fifth on any questions that may incriminate you. If he says anything

that might incriminate you, just deny it outright, and if the police hold you in central booking, we

will post bail for you and get you out. Then, if everything goes as planned, we'll plant a mole in

Team Possible's little group. So, do you think you could wait a while for us to bail you out?

Bonnie: Not a problem, Dad, ooh, one more thing. Mom, could you make sure to get someone

who already knows the location and layout of the G.J. safe haven? I don't want a loyal, faithful,

yes-man of a Shocker grunt who'll take the mission without full knowledge of it's location, or of

it's basic layout even. I want someone who's actually been in there, knows where it's hidden,

and knows how to bypass the security in there.

Veronica: I'll see what I can do, but I'm not going to make any guarantees about it. I mean, the

only people that would have that kind of knowledge, as far as I can think of, would have to be

disaffected G.J. agents whom happen to be served the burn notice. That means that they'd be

blacklisted as agents, and be totally dissavowed, taking any and every tedious job that the brass

could think of. Now you let us worry about that while you focus on beating the rap sheet.

Now I wonder who would fit Ronnie Rockwaller's criteria for that description. It's an enigma that

is locked away in a puzzle, which has been wrapped up in a mystery...NOT!

Bonnie: Well, according to my source, there's a possible canddiate that's meeting her at the

corner of Schooley & McCorkle, where Kopp's Diner is situated. It's a bar & grill type of joint,

and serves as a hangout for all of the criminal underworld of Middleton, it's also packed to the

brim with mafiosos, gangbangers, pimps, turncoats, and the dirtiest cops in all of Middleton.

Philip: And just who is that source of yours, anyway?

Bonnie: Just a former friend who left me to the wolves, only to end up broke and jobless on

account that she hates Team Possible and anyone else whom associates themsleves with

them. She's meeting him at 10:30 tonight, and if all goes well, we'll be able to decimate all

of the people responsible for th ruination of Shocker's public face. Then with then and G.J.

out of the way, Project: Re-genesis will be implimented, and Operation: Purification will be

underway.

Veronica: (in a sastified tone of voice) Splendid, Bon-bon, your first plan as a civilian level

freelance consultant, and it's the foolproof plan that we needed. Oh, Philip, wouldn't you

agree to not help but be proud of our li'l Bon-bon?

Philip: (in a strong sense of pride) I couldn't agree more, go on and see that it's implimented,

meanwhile, Bon-bon will handle the police while I'll send a report to Herr Kaiser Mankey, so

that they'll be well informed of this.

Just then, there was a knocking at the main door, and the Rockwallers instantly knew who it

was. Seems that the police are here to pick up Bon-bon, and they were looking quite angry & displeased about this turn of events.

Veronica: (after looking out the peephole to see who it was) It must be Chief Hobble at the door,

I'll let him in.

Chief Hobble: (after Veronica opens the door) How do ye' do madam, I'm Chief Hobble of the

Middleton Police Department. We be here t'bring ye' lass, Bonnie, down to th'gnarneybrook

t'question 'er about 'er involvement in th'near fleecing o' Ron Stoppable's bank account.

Veronica: Wait here for a brief moment while I go fetch her, please?

Chief Hobble: Of course, milady!

After a brief minute, Veronica had retrieved her youngest daughter. I wish pizza delivery was

this fast. Then, in the next, Bonnie was at the door. I wonder if the Rockwallers do home

deliveries for pizzas.

Bonnie: (in a foul mood, for the sake of appearances only) Okay, you Law-Enforcement-Losers,

I'll go peacefully under just two conditions: 1. I'm not saying anything until my lawyer gets to the

station. 2. If you even think about doing a strip search on me, I'll sue the city of Middleton, the

Middleton P.D., and you sorry bunch of cocksuckers for all that you're worth, which isn't much,

by the way.

Chief Hobble: (in an indifferent state of emotion) Fair enough, now follow me please, ye' chariot

awaits, ma'am.

As Bonnie was taken into the police cruiser, handcuffed and treated like a felon, Philip and his

wife seethed with anger towards one individual,and only one: Ron Stoppable. Meanwhile, up

at "The Village", things were getting underway for the pivotal moment to take place.

At "The Village"

E.T.: (as Will Du was getting inside his Daihatsu Hatchback) Hey, Dookie-boy, what are yins

doing out here in the parking garage?

Will Du: I'm just gonna go out for a drink, and it's on my time, not yours, you Pittsburgh piece

of trash.

E.T.: (defensively backing off) Okay, man, just take it easy. Oh, by the way...

I enter into a Miyagi-Do style crane stance and perform a textbook perfect crane kick on his

butt-ugly, smarmy mug.

E.T.: (after performing the crane kick) ...anybody who calls me a piece of trash, or even thinks

about badmouthing the city I was born in, gets a motherfucking boot to the motherfucking head.

Now, do you understand the words that are coming outta my mouth?

Will Du: (on the floor while grabbing his bloody nose) Yeah, I do.

E.T.: (after calming down a bit) Good, but I've got one question for you, why are you going out?

We've got a fully stocked pub around here.

Will Du: (after picking himself up) If you must know, I've got myself a hot date in Middleton tonight, and I can't risk her disclosing the location of "The Village".

E.T.: (wearing an apologetically sheepish grin) Oh, woops, my bad, man. I guess I'm sorry.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?

Will Du: (in begrudging forgiveness) Yeah, sure, no problem.

After that little exchange, I headed down to the war room to reconointer with the others. But I'm

getting ahead of myself, let's check in with Kim and Shego, shall we?

Rec center, "The Village",

Shego and Kim were in a sparring session, each of them performing complex martial arts moves. They were inside the Rec center's sparring arena, trading blows with one another. Then, Shego had Kim in a Double Hammer-lock, both of her arms being restrained, but Kim countered by dropping down, rolling forward, and performing a leg sweep. Then Kim proceeded to go into a U.F.C. style mount, and went to knock Shego out with a mean right hook, only to stop several inches from her face. After Kim got off of Shego, she helped the former heroine-turned-villainess up off of the mat. The two of them toweled themselves off and went into the snack room to chat about all that happened.

Shego: So, Kim, they tell me that you almost shutdown Team Possible completely, was it

because of the burnout?

Kim: (surprised that her former rival used her actual name) Uh...yeah, it's mainly due to the

incident up at Dale Marsden prison. That all but devastated me deep down inside, and it made

me do something that I promised myself to never do.

Shego: (curious as to what that something was) What did you do?

Kim: (with remorseful tears in her eyes) I went all Queen B on Ron, and tried to pummel him to

near death.

Shego: (in a state of shock and alarm) Whoa there, Princess, you mean to say you nearly killed

the sidekick?

Kim: Actually, yes, and I would've succeeded if he hadn't restrain me when he did.

Shego: (in a completely objective and calm manner) Why'd you go and do that for? Was he

doing something bad?

Kim: (sobs a little but continues) No, all he did was try to help me get through the drama by doing what he does best, stick it out with me, through good & bad, thick & thin, that kind of stuff.

Shego: (calm on the outside, but inside, sighing in relief) So basically, you went all pre-

Lowardian-invasion-Shego on him when he pulled the Brad Pitt of all the secret Boyfriend moves.

Kim: (sobs some more but keeps going) Yes, and after I failed at the attempt, I just cried my little eyes out while he held me in his arms. It was then that I just opened up my feelings again and let Ron in.

Shego: Yep, that's Ron for you, always willing to walk through hellfire and brimstone to make

damn sure you're happy.

Kim: (stops sobbing for a while, but then starts giggling softly) I guess you could say that. He's

went out of his way, and well above and beyond the call of duty of being a boyfriend, but now,

we've just got engaged and how do I repay this romantic gesture, I almost kill a conspirator in a

bank-fraud plot cooked up by Bonnie Rockwaller.

Shego: (surprised yet again) Wait a minute, how did this happen? Omit none of the juicy details

to me. I need to know everything.

Kim then brokedown and told Shego about what happened at the jewelers shop last night, and

how Bonnie had her uncle try to steal Ron's bank information. Then, she told her about how

Bonnie's uncle got caught in the act, and pulled a gun on her. Finally, she regailed her with the

stunning conclusion, when the gun was kicked out of his hand, and how she caught it in mid-air,

then, as he tried to make a run for it, she shot him in the knee. She even told Shego about how

she was ready to kill the perpetrator of this heinous crime. It was then she called herself a cold-

blooded murderer and started crying tears of remorse again. But all Shego could do for her at

the time was give her a sisterly hug and let the water works run until they dried up. Once they

did, she started to converse with Kim again.

Shego: (in a sympathetic manner) It's okay, Kim, you stopped yourself, so you're not to far from

absolution yet. Kimmy, there's something about me that you ought to know. When I was a lot

younger, about the same age that you were when you started saving the world, I was a normal

girl, who had a normal life and a normal boyfriend. The only thing is, that all changed when the

Go City comet dropped down in my backyard. It changed a normal girl named Shiela Gomez,

and her brothers, Hector, Miguel, Jesus, and Luiz, into the superhero siblings known as Team

Go. From that point on, my boyfriend and I continued the relationship, even though we were

already drifting apart. Then one day, after coming home to meet him at the Go Tower, I found

him in the arms of another girl. They were in multiple sexual positions and everything, and

when they noticed me, they tried to act like nothing happened. You'd think that seeing the boy

I was gonna give my virginity to, screwing another girl behind my back, would make me pissed

off enough to shoot some fatal plasma bursts at them? Well let me tell you something, even

though with my powers, and my status as a heroine, it would be easy for me to do it, but I had

remembered something. That something back then was that I was one of the good guys, and

it made me decide against cremating them in the first place, so I just kicked the both of them

out of Go Tower. A day later, I had broke up with my boyfriend and sworn off men and dating

all together, until me and my Drewbie got together of course.

Kim: (shocked and surprised) Oh my God, Shego, I didn't even know. I'm sorry about what had

happened to you.

Shego: Oh, trust me, Princess, it doesn't end there. A few years later, all of my brothers were

captured by a bird themed supervillain by the name of Aviarius, and he threatened to kill them

off if the Mayor of Go City didn't dish out a shitload of money to him. Naturally, being the only

member of Team Go still free and clear, the Mayor called on me to rescue them, to which I so

happily agreed to, because at the time, my brothers helped me forget about my ex-boyfriend,

and the most important people in my life was my family. I asked the Mayor to see about police

back-up to make sure that Aviarius would be safely put behind bars, and he gave me his total

guarantee on it. When I got to Aviarius' hideout, I didn't see one cop car in sight, so I radioed

the Mayor about it, and he said that they should've been there 10 minutes ago, to set up a god

damned parameter around the area, so I told him to contact the police commissioner about the

lack of police presence while I go in and rescue my brothers solo. When I get into the hideout,

I found my brothers, being held inside a forcefield that nullifies our comet powers. They were

also underneath the business end of a device called the atomic distabilizer, which could turn

any normal person into a pile of quivering genetic quagmire in 0-60 seconds with a press of a

button on it's remote control. I comforted my brothers as best as I could, and when I turned

around, Aviarius and his goon squad were there, staring me down while undressing me with

their eyes, all at the same time. I never felt so alone, scared, or downright repulsed at the the

same time. In Aviarius' claw was the remote that controlled that infernal contraption, and as his

hench men and birds came at me, I soon learned that this wasn't like the Saturday morning

cartoons that I watched as a kid. Instead of a supposedly evil madman who claims to hate kids,

but in actuality, can't help but love them, platonically of course, I was given the epitomy of evil

incarnate itself, and I had to fight and kill to save my family. After shooting down those birds of

his, and giving his henchmen the K.O., it was down to me and Aviarius. He tried to press the

activation button, only for me to kick the remote out of his hand, and right into mine. I then

pressed the deactivation button on the remote, and then, using my plasma powers, I turned

the remote into Silly-Putty. Aviarius tried to make a break for it, but I shot all of his limbs and

both of his wings with some immobilizing plasma bolts to prevent his escape. Then I caught up

with him and tackled him to the ground as he fell. I started punching the living shit out of him,

again and again, until his masked face was all drenched and soaked in his own blood, but it

wasn't enough. So I stopped pummeling him with my fists, charged up a lethal plasma bolt in

my right hand, and grabbed onto his mask with the left. Then I said to him, "before I send you

to hell, I'm gonna take a goddamned good look at what's underneath that ugly mask, Bendejo".

When I ripped off the mask, I was too shocked for words. Aviarius was really my ex-boyfriend,

Pereguine Finch, a young man who started out as a student of ornithoptology and vetrinary

medicine. I then released my brothers and handed the comatose body of my ex over to them.

Then, the Mayor contacted me and told me that the entire police force thought that since Team

Go was taking over their jobs as they say, that Team Go could handle all of the crime in Go City

by themselves. He told me that's what the police commissioner told him, so it seems that even

if you don't have superpowers, but you go out to save the world anyways, you'll be making a lot

of enemies on both sides of the law.

Kim: (completely knocked over with shock) What happened after that, did your brothers ever

forgive you for flying off the handle, and what about the entire Go City P.D., did the Mayor have

it overhauled?

Shego: Funny you should ask, because that single incident had cancelled federal, state, and

local funding for a while, and even cost the commissioner and his force their jobs. Then, the

city awarded us a huge settlement as icing on the cake and everything. The old police force

had to find work down in Lowerton after that. As for my brothers, all but one forgave me, I'll give

you four guesses as to who it is, and the first three don't count.

Kim: Let me guess, Miguel, A.K.A. Mego was the only holdout on the family forgiveness.

Shego: You're right on the very first guess, home skillet.

Kim: (feeling sympathetic for Shego) But why didn't he forgive you? If they were in danger

of being killed, then surely all of your brothers should be able to forgive you, especially

when you're the one who risked life and limb to save their lives.

Shego: Hego said that the tactics I used that day weren't very paragon, persay, and it sunk

into one of his schpiels about how we're a superhero team, keyword, superhero, as in the

superheroine doesn't count in his chauvinist views. Then it escalated into a powertrip over

leadership for Team Go, and how I'm evil because I flew off of the handle that one time in

my previous life as a superheroine. But I just had to add my two cents about how I had

requested for police assistance, only for the fuzz to leave me hanging when I got to them.

Hector, A.K.A. Hego, and the Wego twins, Jesus and Luiz, tried to defend me on this.

Then it all came crashing down when Mego threw me off of Team Go, and Hego and the

Wegos threatened to walk off Team Go if he didn't let up. But Mego had some emotional

ammunition on him. He pestered me about how it felt to almost kill my ex-boyfriend, and

who would be next on Shego the murderer's hit list, Hego, the Wegos, Mego himself, or

possibly an innocent victim. After that, I just broke, and some hurtful words were exchanged,

then I just cussed Mego out and told him that if I was so evil, then maybe I should just quit

Team Go, and just stormed off. As I looked back, I saw Hego and the Wegos give him the

same kind of treatment. After that day, I started out my new life as a supervillainess, doing

smash and grab jobs for hire mostly, but then I did some heavy stuff after that. Then I was

hired by Dr. Drakken, and the rest is history, as they'd say.

Kim: (afraid to ask, but does it anyway) Did you ever kill anyone in your entire life?

Shego: (shakes her head) No, but that's because I never had to, both as a superheroine,

and as a supervillainess, and I'm thankful for that. Because it's really something that

once you start, you can never stop. From what you told me about this sitch, it sounds

like this whole thing was thrusted upon you at the speed of light. So much so, that it left

you burnt out, and forced you to develop a kill-or-be-killed reflex whenever you encounter

a bad guy. But it also blinds you to the needs of society, the innocent, the people whom

you love as much as they love you, and even civilization as a whole.

Kim: Was the relationship you were in, back in high school, a happy one, or an abusive

one?

Shego: Actually, due to Pereguine's affinity towards birds, it was a happy one. But I did

know someone who was in an abusive relationship. She was my best friend, and each

time after she went out on a date with her boyfriend, she came to school wearing sunglasses

and long sleeve clothing. She was even afraid of getting touched by anybody because of it.

I decided to let the principal know about it, and he notified her parents. Her boyfriend was

arrested later on, but due to the damage she suffered, everything in Go City reminded her of

her boyfriend, and she had to move away from there.

Kim: So you knew someone who was in an abusive relationship, and helped them get out

of it. That works for me. Then when you were a baddie, you've never took a life at all, I

guess you're not as evil as you once claimed to be.

Shego: (puts up her hands in mock surrender) Okay, you got me, but the reason I'm telling

all of this to you is that I honestly believe that you're not evil either. You just need to open

up to the people who care a great deal about you, because they're here to help you through this.

If you just curl yourself into a little ball, and bottle up all of your emotions, then you'll only end

up exploding at everyone around you, and then you'll either become a villainess like I once was,

or worse, a hired assassin.

Kim: (sighs in exasperation) I'm trying, but it's only serving as a band-aid solution at best. Isn't

there a more permanent solution?

Shego: (carefully thinking about the options) Well, my high school friend never confronted her

beau about why he beat her up so badly, so the only option that I can think of is for you to go

to Monkey-boy and confront him about the Dale Marsden incident.

Kim: (lost in a moment of total realization) Wow, that actually makes sense to me. Thanks,

Shego, I'll go get Ron, and we'll march right up to Mankey's hospital bed, and let him know

that I'm still here, and that nothing will break me & Ron apart.

Shego: (relieved to see Kim's resolve grow stronger than before) Great, you go do that while

I go find my Drewbie and take him to the nearest motel.

Kim: (with a twinge of justifiable snark) You know, Shego, even when you do good for others,

you do it for only selfish reasons.

Shego: (laughs loudly at that comment) What can I say, I am what I is.

Meanwhile, at the refugee barracks

Ron: So, Drakken, you and Shego hooked up.

Drakken: But of course, after all, it was bound to happen sometime. All of a sudden, I feel

like the luckiest man in the world.

Wade: (looking like he ran a marathon) Hey...huff...,guys...puff...,did you...pant...,hear what...

wheeze...happened to...pant...Bonnie Rockwaller...choke...last night?

Ron & Drakken: (in complete unison) No, what happened?

Ron: Jinx, you owe me a soda.

Drakken: (doing a Homer Simpson impression) D'oh!

Wade: (after catching his breath) She was arrested this morning, under suspicion of conspiracy

to commit theft by bank fraud. It's quite possible that her and the Rockwaller family may be

looked upon as persons of interest, and get slapped with a hefty civil action lawsuit, as well as

criminal charges, jail time, the whole nine yards.

Drakken: (an expression of surprise washes over his face) Can't you even go anywhere without

bringing down rich & affluent families who are loaded with shitloads of money?

Ron: (in a mock defense) Well it ain't my fault, at least, not in it's entirity. It's mostly Bonnie's

because of her larcenic nature. I blame the parents for her upbringing as a thief though.

Wade: Well the Middleton P.D. just thought that you and Kim would want to question her and her uncle, seeing as how you're the ones who brought them in.

Ron: We'll save that for later, right now I gotta go meet Kim and E.T. at the war room, later, guys.

With that, Ron ran as fast as he can to the war room, as for me, I'm more of a power walker in

my personal views.

Meanwhile, with Kim and Shego

Shego: So you're sure you can handle a war room meeting all by your lonesome, Princess?

Kim: So not the drama, Dragon-lady, I may have let this whole Shocker thing get inside my head, but this time, I'll be ready for them.

Shego: Just remember, Kimmy, if you ever need a big sister to talk to, or a voice of reason and

experience, you can always look me up.

And so, with that being said, Kim gave Shego a warm, sisterly hug, which was instantly returned

to her by Shego.

Kim: (after breaking the hug) Thanks, Shego, for everything.

Shego: Enough warmth, just get going before I fry your little bubble-butt.

Kim: (as she leaves for the meeting) You don't have to tell me twice.

With that, Kim headed directly for the war room, only to meet up with Ron along the way, all of

a sudden, the Disney tune, "It's a small world after all", comes into my mind.

Kim: (as they're heading to the war room) Hey, Ron, what's the sitch, Bonnie Rockwaller trying

to bitch the whole world to death again?

Ron: Actually, no, it seems that one of the G.J. spies inside S.P.C. International just confirmed

the manufacturing and existance of the ultimate mind-control device, created by Dr. Bortel. He

also confirmed that the Team Possible mainframe had been hacked into by the Shocker, and

that the files on the Wade-bots and the Battlesuit had been copied.

Kim: But why would Dr. Bortel create such a thing, and why did the Shocker copy all the files

on the Wade-bots and the Battlesuit? This sitch just keeps getting gorchier and gorchier by the

second, Ron.

Ron: I hear ya', Kimila, which is why we gotta have eachother's backs covered. Who knows

what the Mankeys can cook up with that. We're talking about a whole world of bad road up

ahead.

Kim: Well, what about Bonnie, whatever happened to her anyway?

Ron: She got picked up by the local P.D. for suspicion of conspiracy. If she's gonna be going

to college, she's gonna have to find a school with tuition-free scholarships for inmates, and is

close enough to whatever prison she'll be sent to.

Kim: (in a complete puzzlement) Why's that, Ron?

Ron: The first rule of college entry is, "Location, location, location", geographical location is

everything these days, as well as tuition fees and such. Plus, the rigorous screening of the

potential student body for colleges makes it difficult for prison inmates to even get within

spitting distance of the campuses and the dormatories. The only place that would even think

about taking her is clown college.

It was after that Ron Stoppable riff that Kim had let out a full on belly laugh for the first time.

When they finally reach the war room, they were greeted by your's truly. Took them long

enough, because I was doing one hell of an impersonation of the scarecrow from the movie,

"The Wizard of Oz".

E.T.: (wearing a deadpan that rivals Tommy Lee Jones) You're late, lovebirds, what kept ya'?

Ron: Are we really late, or are you just yanking our chains?

E.T.: (starts laughing like a hyena) HAHAHAHAHAHA! You got me, I was just pulling your

legs while trying to perfect my poker face at the same time. Come on, you crazy knuckleheads,

the meeting's about to start.

At the main door into the war room

E.T.: Hold it a momento, Team Possible, this door only recognizes G.J. personnel, and there's a

secret password that only I know.

Kim: What about us, is that door going to let us in?

E.T.: It will, but it only recognizes the passwords, voice prints, and retinal scans of official G.J.

agents, and if you try to open it, the whole war room goes into lockdown.

Ron: Okay, it's your rodeo, Cowboy.

E.T.: (as I step up to the door) Darn right it is, now this will only take a few seconds.

The War Room Security Computer: Occupants, Agent Becker, plus two guests. Please submit

a retinal scan.

I put my face on the retinal scanner on the door, seconds later, the scan was complete.

Computer: Retina recognized as those belonging to Agent Becker, please submit password

for voice print and security code recognition.

E.T.: (to the intercom on the door) Ready, Kafka?

Computer: Voice code and print recognized as that of Agent Becker, you are free to enter the

war room, have a nice day.

Kim: (looks at me increduously) Ready, Kafka, really? What kind of password is that?

E.T.: (speaking to Kim) Well I originally wanted to use "open sesame", but that was taken

by Ali Baba.

As we enter the war room, we bare witness to numerous agents arbitrarily doing stuff to help

put the Shocker behind bars. Then, we pan in on a bunch of senior agents sitting around a

high tech holographic computer display that also doubled as a table, and at the head of the

table was Dr. Elizabeth Director, waiting for us to get into our seats.

Kim: So that's what all this build up was about?

E.T.: Basically, I mean, it's always been my dream to open a door to a room where people

are doing things just like they do in James Bond movies. I quickly got bored of it a few days

in once I learned that it would be an everyday thing. Then the anime boom in America came

in full force, and inspired me to build the Dai Kamikaze.

Ron: (stoked to the max) HOW COULD YOU NOT BE STOKED BY ALL THIS? WHAT IN THE

HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU MAN, C'MON?!

Dr. Director: Ahem, would the three of you please take your seats so we can get this meeting

underway?

Ron, E.T., & Kim: (in three part unison) Sorry, Dr. Director.

Dr. Director: Jinx, you all owe me a hot cup of tea, Earl Grey preferredly.

At that moment, the three of us all facepalmed at Auntie Betty's remark. How I envy the Count

of Monte Cristo right now. After we gathered our wits about us, we took our seats at the table.

Dr. Director: Now that everyone's seated, let's get this meeting underway. First off, the plans for

what the Shocker call "Operation: Purification". Agent Becker has the floor on this issue.

E.T.: (forced to get out of my comfy chair) Thank you, Dr. Director, as you, my fellow agents,

have assertained from the files I pilfered off of the international mainframe of S.P.C., the entire

operation entails assassins being planted at the offices of all of the parliment and government

officials at the highest ranking of their national achelons all around the globe, as well as key

military, naval, aerial defense, and law enforcement organizations in each country. When

the signal is given, they'll strike, and decimate the law & order all over the world, inciting

mass riots, looting, chaos, and a complete breakdown of global government and civilization

as we know it. But this is just a smokescreen for what's known as "Project: Re-genesis".

If you all would look to the hologram being displayed to you, you'll know that it will involve a

mass gathering of people into designated departure points for gigantic airships the size of

a large province, state, or region. They're fully stocked and each has they're own Parteit based

government. Those who provide the most usefulness instantly become part of Shocker, while

those who don't, end up as slaves for all of Shocker, doing either tedious or life threatening

tasks for their masters.

Ron: But why go through all this trouble? Do they know that there'll be a lot of people who,

in my personal opinion, find their plan to be much like the holocaust?

Kim: He's right, after all, Ron's grandfather, Don Stoppable, was one of the survivors of the

Auschewitz Concentration Camp back in World War Two. He was a fighter pilot for the

87th battallion of the U.S.A.F., and captured as a prisoner of war when his plane crash

landed in Nuremberg.

E.T.: That's what I'm getting to, now pay attention to the images on the hologram. This is

a 20 gigaton nuclear warhead, which has been added into a massive subterranean bomb,

one that's designed to drill through the earth's crust, and all the way to the earth's core.

Once it reaches it's destination, it's gonna blow like G.W. Bush's relief effort for "Hurricane

Katrina". This will cause all the volcanoes all over the globe to erupt, and cover the earth

with a huge-ass sheet of liquid hot magma.

Ron: Lemme guess, they got it from the movie, "Austin Powers: International man of mystery".

Kim: Why do you say that, Ron?

Ron: Because Mr. Mankey's pulling a "Dr. Evil" on us, that's why. Only instead of asking

for money, he's setting himself up as the new messiah.

Kim: That explains all but one thing, what will happen to those people who resist?

E.T.: Did you ever play the video game, "Mortal Kombat", because there's this one stage in it

where the arena is surrounded by lava, and if you knock your opponent into the lava, instant

incineration.

Kim: (going into one big freak fit) YOU MEAN ANYONE WHO OPPOSES THEM ENDS UP

INCINERATED BY THE GLOBAL LAVA FLOW?

E.T.: (looking down to the floor then back to Kim) Yeah, that's the basic jist of it.

Ron: (wisely chooses to change the conversation) What about the Team Possible mainframe

getting hacked into by the Shocker? We heard that the files for the Wade-bots and Kim's

Battlesuit were the main targets. Plus there's the mind control device that Dr. Bortel made

for them, is there any connection between that and Wade's mainframe being hacked?

E.T.: That's the second point of order. You see, Dr. Bortel created something called the

cerebral control chip, and a global control device called the pan-global controller. This

C.C.C. is a combination of the reverse polarizer, attitudinator, moodulator, and the

behavioral control chip, all rolled into one. When the C.C.C. is placed upon either the

forehead or the back of the neck, it sends your concious and instinctual thoughts into

the subconcious center of your brain. Then the pan-global controller replaces these

thoughts with an electronically tansmitted set of programmed instructions that your

brain accepts as a sort of replacement thoughts. The worst part is that once you're under

it's control, you can't get yourself out of it. Those who are released from it end up unable

to discern their subconciousness from the real world, at least not without some rigorous

psychiatric treatment. As for the controller, it works on the principal of wi-fi connection

from anywhere around the world, via satellites in geo-synchronis orbit around the world.

then there's the Battlesuit and the Wade-bots, it's a possibility that they could be making

Battlesuits designed to be weapons for the generals, and bastardized versions of the robots

originally created to help mankind, by the esteemed Dr. Wade Load, but this version is

programmed and designed to act as deadly, robotic shocktroopers. However, a week ago

we've recieved word that a double PhD. in the fields of modern prostetics and robotics was

kidnapped along with his family. This tip came from the Tokyo P.D., and the victim's name

is Dr. Toshihiro Midorikawa, the leading name in artificial limb and organ replacement, as

well as cybernetic implants. He was working on a new kind of nanite device that splices the

spinal cord back together, giving parapalegics, quadrapalegics, and even coma patients a

second chance at both independence and a normal life, when he and his family were snatched

up out of their home inthe Shinjuku district.

Kim: Why would they do such a thing? They could build an army of assassins with any of those

things, or accomplish the same result with Dr. Midorikawa's expertise in the field of cybernetics...

Ron: ...or possibly combine all that to make their vision of what a perfect assassin should be.

Kim: (looks towards Ron in fright) You mean to say that they plan to make some sort of mind

controled, cybernetic assassin with bits and pieces of Wade-bot and Battlesuit knock-offs

surgically grafted into their anatomy?

Ron: (looking totally somber at Kim) Like you said, "Anything is possible", and if the Mankeys

are making the ultimate cyborg assassin, then the sitch has changed from a whole world of bad

road, to a whole galaxy.

E.T.: Ron's right on this, which is why you're gonna go on a fact-finding mission to the Dale

Marsden Prison Infirmiry, to get all the facts on Operation: Purification and Project: Re-genesis.

I want you to pump Josh Mankey as hard as you can until he talks, and if he still isn't feeling

chatty, then don't be afraid to go to the extremes of interrogation techniques to make him talk.

Even if you have to torture it out of him. I'll be going along as an active observer, to make sure

that he lives long enough to give us actionable confirmation.

Kim: That wouldn't be a big for us, but what happened to Dookie-boy, if you don't mind me

asking?

E.T.: I gave him the day off, but not to worry. I've already asked Dr. Renton if we could borrow

S.A.D.I.E. the amazing fully automated car.

Ron: Did she give us the O.K. to take S.A.D.I.E. out?

E.T.: Affirmative, as for the rest of you, we need to evacuate all of the key military, naval, and

air force higher-ups and their families, all of the government and parliment members, and their

families as well, and all of the members of international royalty, and all of the world's royal

families to boot, then have them relocated here.

Dr. Director: Excuse me, Agent Becker, even though you're our resident tech guru, but last

time I checked, I was the one who gives the orders here.

E.T.: My apologies, Auntie Betty, would you relay my suggestion to my fellow agents?

Dr. Director: But of course, ladies and gentlemen, you all heard my adoptive nephew, get on it

or else I'll have the lot of you skewered on the pike.

With that being said, the meeting was adjourned, but that's enough about us, let's see what

Will Du is up to.

Kopp's Diner, Middleton, 10:30 P.M.

Will Du: Thanks for meeting me here, Marcella. It's very hard for me to even get a date in

edgewise, what with my new "career" as a personal chauffeur to a techno-geek with a

James Bond complex.

Marcella: That's perfectly alright, Willy, perhaps a change of careers is just what you need.

I have a friend whose family can get you into an organization that will welcome people with

your unique talents. Here's their business card, give them a call when you can tomorrow,

and they'll set you up with an interview. By the way, what kind of career did you have, I

mean before you became a chauffeur, anyway?

Will Du: (glances over the diner suspciously, then sees that it's all clear) Well, don't tell a

soul about this, but I used to be a Global Justice agent. Iwas at the top of my game, that

is until Team Ploppable ruined my rep. Hell, I was the one who put half of the people in this

diner behind bars, and all of them were singlehanded arrests.

Marcella: (visibly impressed with him) Wow, you mean you were the feared and respected

Agent William Du of Global Justice? That's fascinating, but I'm going to need more proof

than just your name alone. I mean if you have a viement hatred for Kim and her loser boyfriend,

like the kind I have, then Shocker Products Corporation will facilitate you with whatever means

you need to get one up on those losers.

Will Du: I can do you one better, I have the exact location of "The Village", and all of it's closely

guarded secrets as well.

Marcella: That's just what we need. Mrs. Rockwaller, you can join us now.

With that, Veronica Rockwaller came out of the shadows like the ghost of Christmas future. Do

the words "evil woman" mean anything to you? If they do, then you're a smarter person than I

am.

Veronica: (after she takes a seat) Thank you, Marcella, I'll take it from here. Mr. William Khan

Du, I am a representative for the S.P.C., which is the public face of what we call the Shocker

Empire. My name is Veronica Rockwaller, and we would very much like to hire your services,

intelligence, abilities, and skills for Herr Kaiser Burton Mankey. You see, we're in desperate

need of an inside operative to help us locate the secretive G.J. safehaven known as "The

Village", as well as get through any and all of the security & defense arrays with minimal threat

against us, and maximum efficency for our forces. Then there's all of the secrets within "The

Village", there are certain files that Global Justice consider as too sensitive to disclose to any

living person. You could be just the individual that we need. Please, say that you'll help us,

and we'll reward you handsomely.

Will Du: (looks at Mrs. Rockwaller with curiosity) The acceptance of this offer, depends on a

simple answer to a simple question. What's in it for me?

Veronica: Your bargaining posture is highly dubious, but very well, we will help you get even

with all the people who humiliated you, give you riches and treasures beyond your wildest

imagination, and hand over carte blanche authority over the Shocker Infantry Army to you.

You will be treated as one of our greatest generals in our army.

This is where Will Du shows everyone his true colors, and makes the decision that could

possibly save us, or destroy everything we worked so hard to do.

Will Du: So you'll give me power, prestige, and riches beyond my wildest dreams, and

help me to get even with all of the traitors who ruined me, if I sell Global Justice out to

you? Well, Chicken, you're talking turkey to me, I'm in.

That arrogant, sneaky, and underhanded son of a bitch. When I get through with him,

he'll be sucking food in through a tube going up his nose.

Veronica: (with a smile of twisted pride on her face) Welcome to the Shocker Empire,

General William Khan Du, it's a pleasure to have you on board, now your first real

mission for our side, is to eliminate two of our operatives who've been captured by

G.J., and made prisoners in their corrupt and antiquidated system of law. Pull this

off, and you'll officially become one of us.

Will Du: (shakes Veronica's hand to seal the deal) Consider it as good as done,

Mrs. Rockwaller.

And so it came to pass that Will Du had become Global Justice's own Benedict

Arnold. I weep for those who are sheltered within "The Village".

Meanwhile, with Kim & Ron

The three of us were all riding in S.A.D.I.E. to the Dale Marsden prison for yet

another round of aggressive interrogation on Josh Mankey. Apparently, this time

it was gonna be a cake walk, because Ron the magnificent Super Saiyan had

rendered all of his limbs useless. It's a good thing that Auntie Betty gave us the

go ahead for waterboarding tactics, because we all wanted a piece of that Neo-

Nazi airhead, with the biggest going to Kim.

Kim: Thanks for the ride S.A.D.I.E., if we didn't have you around, we'd all be up the creek

by now.

S.A.D.I.E.: As you said it best, Kim, so not the drama. I just hope you and Ron can stop

the Shocker in time, those evil bastards sound like real monsters to me. Especially with

what they have in mind

Ron: They're the worst, they're megalomaniacal Neo-Nazis, ones who believe civilization is

too sick to survive as it is, so they'll destroy the world in order to bring in an age of Parteits

and slavery.

S.A.D.I.E.: That bad, huh?

Kim: Trust me when I say this, they make all the villains we fought look like cartoon characters,

and they're willing to go to any and all extremes to get what they want, or prevent it from falling

into far more ademic hands.

E.T.: Say, S.A.D.I.E., do you think you could play some traveling music for us? It's like a funeral

hall in here.

S.A.D.I.E.: Depends, what do you have in mind?

E.T.: Something along the lines of old school arena rock from the 80's era.

S.A.D.I.E.: I think I can arrange that, how does the song "Wheel in the sky" by Journey sound?

E.T.: Let me think, it's 11:45 right now, we've got a full tank of hydrogen, a half full pack of

menthol cigarettes, it's 20 miles to the Dale Marsden Prison, it's dark, and we're wearing

sunglasses.

Ron: Hit it!

So you know, I've just referenced "The Blues Brothers" just now.

**"Wheel in the sky" by Journey**

Insert cool looking animated montage here.

By the time we got to the Dale Marsden Prison, the prison guards had readied themselves by

arming up, then escorted them to the infirmiry. They must've been drinking coffee like it was

whiskey shots.

Sam: Welcome back, Kim, Ron, and E.T., glad to see you here again.

Kim: Thank you, Mr. Stonewall, now where's the monkey-boy, in his cage eating what he flings?

Ron: Ooh, triple epic burn!

Sam: Well, due to the extent of his injuries, the prison surgeons have to rebuild his shoulder,

elbow, wrist, hip, knee, and ankle joints, and then reinforce them with screws. Until the surgery

takes place, he'll have to be bed ridden. So we had to transfer him to the infirmiry under solitary

confinement.

Ron: Are there any surveillance recording devices in there?

Sam: No, there isn't any of that sort of thing.

E.T.: (cracking my knuckles as I go along) Bea-utiful!

Inside the prison infirmiry...

When we entered the infirmiry, we learned two very important things about the place and it's

number of occupants: 1. Josh Mankey was the only one there. 2. There was not another soul

in sight, except for Kim, Ron, and myself. This whole place was left unguarded on purpose,

possibly by order from the governor. All of that just made our job easier. We reached Josh's

bed and saw the damage Ron had inflicted upon him, needless to say, he was F.U.B.A.R.,

big time.

E.T.: Well, guys, he's all yours. Make it look good.

Ron: No big, E.T., Kim, would you like to have first dibs on him.

Kim: No thanks, I'll wait until you've softened him up a bit.

Josh: (starts coming out of his slumber) What the...oh no, not you again, I must be dreaming.

Yeah, that's it, this is...all some sort...of wildly vivid...nightmare that I'm having.

Ron: (grabs Josh's left hand, ready to break his thumb) Well, that depends on what your definition of what reality is. You see, reality is all relative from one point of view to the next. But

what is truly and universally real is pain.

With that being said, Ron breaks Josh's thumb so hard, that it causes an compound fracture,

making Josh scream in so much pain, that he literally thinks he's dying. Ron however wore

a sadistic grin on his face. Then, Ron picked Josh up by the collar of his hospital gown and

brought him up to his face. The look he gave Josh was like that of the Grim Reaper, claiming

yet another wicked soul for his collection.

Ron: (in a sadisticly low and gravelly voice) I'm gonna ask you a few questions that need

answered, and if I don't like what I hear, or if you lie to me in any way, I'll do more than break

your thumb, do you understand?

Josh: (sobbing in excrutiating pain) Yes!

Ron: (throws Josh back onto the bed) Good, now, what exactly is Operation: Purification?

Josh: (looks at Ron with fear in his eyes) It's the assassination of key political and military

figures in every branch of government and national defense all around the globe, followed

by the incitement of disorder and the total disintegration of society and civilization worldwide.

Ron: And then what happens next?

Josh: We perform a mass exodus for anyone dumb enough to believe that we offer them

salvation, or anyone who's useful and wise enough to join our ranks as a valued asset to

the Shocker Empire. Now would please fix my thumb, I don't want to get gangreen or

something.

Ron: One more question, what is Project: Re-genesis?

Josh: Oh it's nothing really, just some routine research. Actually, it's just a video game.

It's at that moment that I pull out my Tanto and hand it to Ron, who then proceeds to plunge

it into Josh's leg, making him scream in pain yet again.

Ron: (as he pulls out my Tanto from Josh's leg) Wrong answer, now, tell me what it is or else

I will kill you.

Josh: (with tears of pain, anguish, and fear) Okay, it's actually a subterranean nuke which drills

into the earth's core. Once it reaches the core, it sets off a nuclear explosion that will cause

a chain reaction with all of the volcanoes around the world, covering the entire world in lava,

and taking anyone foolish enough to oppose us with it.

Ron: (looks at me for a second) E.T., would you be so kind as to get us some first aid stuff?

This poor pigeon has a feather bent out of place.

E.T.: No problemo, Ron-man, I'll be back in a jiffy. Meanwhile, Kim, why don't you pump this

turkey for information.

Kim: (wearing an uncharcteristically sadistic and cruel smile on her face, while grabbing a

scalpel) It would be my pleasure, Agent Becker.

Josh: (starts to relieve his bowels and bladder at the same time) H-h-h-h-hey...w-w-w-w-w-wait

a minute, Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you're n-n-n-n-n-not thinking of using that on me, are you?

Kim: (in a sadistic tone of voice) I might, now, tell me everything about Shocker's highest of the

achelons within it.

Josh: (makes with the chicken sweat like it was a munitions shed) Okay, I'll talk, the real people

in charge of S.P.C. and the Shocker Empire are none other than my mom & dad. As for me &

my youngest brother, we're the princes to the Empire, heirs to the throne as you might say.

Then there's the codenames we use whenever we attend White Supremacist meetings and so

on, they're to protect our identities from incrimination. There's Draculoid, A.K.A. Burton Mankey,

Viperette, A.K.A. Angela Mankey, Anacondax, A.K.A. Alek Mankey, and Prince Jaguarix, me.

As for the origin of Shocker, it's actually a thulian cult started up by one of Adolph Hitler's most

loyal S.S. officers, my grandfather, Gustav Mankenheimer. When Hitler committed suicide with

his lover, Eva Braun, and the second World War came to an end, Mankenheimer and his entire

congregation fled to America under assumed aliases. By the 1950's, he became known as

Augustus "Gus" Mankey, and rebuilt his congregation of Cthulu worshippers yet again. Then,

a decade later, he had declared society and civilization to sick to survive as it was, and staged

two assassinations, both on key political figures at the time. One was the successful hit on

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., which ended in the unfortunate capture of one of our best agents, the

next was President John Frederick Kennedy, and that was successful because of two reasons.

First, we successfully murdered him and his advisor, and then, we pinned the blame on a fairy

by the name of Lee Harvey Oswald, who was only there to prevent it, being that he was formerly

with the Green Berets, and devised the smokescreen theory about the magic bullet.

At the end of Josh's confession, he was sobbing like a little baby, but the horrors weren't over

yet, no, they've only just begun.

Kim: Ron, prop the patient up for his "face lift", and be sure to hold him still. I don't want to

accidently cut my handsome fiance's hands.

Josh: (as Ron props him up and holds his head still) Wait a minute, I get it, this is all a joke to

both scare the shit out of me and teach me a lesson, for messing up Kim's face. Okay, I've

learned my lesson, Kim, you look great by the way. I guess you can chalk up that instant facial

reconstruction surgery as a miracle of modern medicine, huh?

Kim: Thank you for that kind word, Mankey, but this is not a joke, it's a bit of unfinished business

that I need to tend to. Don't worry, you're a big boy now. I'm absolutely sure you can take it.

Josh: (panics like a little schoolgirl) But I told you all of that so that you wouldn't cut my beautiful

face up into little itty-bitty pieces.

Kim: (makes Patricia Velasquez look like Mother Teresa) Now when did we make that kind of a

deal?

As she puts the business end of the scalpel onto Josh's face, it contorts with fear, and Josh

begins sobbing helplessly as Kim stops just before she makes the first incision. Then Kim

smiled like the Cheshire Cat and went into a gut-busting laugh. She then eases the scalpel

away from Josh's face and sets it down on the surgical tray. I guess seeing Josh's look of

total horror did it for her, seeing as how her face was full of that same spark that Kim Possible

is known to have.

Kim: (her laughter dying down to a giggle) Sorry, Josh, it was nothing personal, well, not totally.

You see, Ron still has a bone to pick with you, seeing as how you almost killed me. So you

can understand why he was a little too literal with the aggressive interrogation techniques.

As for that facelift I was about to give you, it was all an act. I guess anybody can become a

decent actor with the right kind of motivation, like me for instance. Oh, one more thing, before

I forget to tell you, me and Ron are set to be engaged officially, by tomorrow afternoon. The

look on your ugly face made this whole ordeal that I went through worth it, so in return I'll leave

you with a little advice. Next time you decide to beat a lady up, that is, if you're able to do it ever

again, think about what I could've done to that mug of yours, and if you start having a second

thought about it, then you'd be better off. As my main homegirl, Monique would say, T.T.F.N.!

E.T.: (after coming back with the first aid equipment) Hey, guys, what did I miss?

After we treated Mankey for his injuries, we all hopped back into S.A.D.I.E. and headed back to

"The Village" for a little R&R.

E.T.: Well, it was a good night, nobody died.

Ron: (looking a tad bit somber for a brief second) It'll get a lot worse before it gets better.

Kim: (looks a tiny bit worried) Do you think he'll talk to the guards about how he got those

injuries?

At that moment, the three of us glanced at one another at the meer mention of that question,

stuck in a momentary silence as if we were afraid to answer. But the three of us shook our

heads in unanymous agreement that he wouldn't talk.

Ron, Kim, and E.T.: (in three part unison) Nah!

E.T.: S.A.D.I.E., how's about a little "Bohemian Rhapsody" to get us back home?

S.A.D.I.E.: I thought you'd never ask.

**"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen**

With the memories of Josh Mankey and his confession still fresh on our minds, we all

took a solemn and sacred pact never to reveal this to our friends and families. Now

that we've found out who really was in charge of the Shocker Empire, and the origins

behind it. Something tells me we're in for a lot of researching into the Mankenheimer

Legacy.

Meanwhile, in a hidden laboratory inside S.P.C. international headquarters...

Dr. Toshihiro Midorikawa was hard at work on creating a system of combative/stealth

performance enhancing cybernetic implants, one that would turn a normal human

being into a one man army made for killing. It was a task that he took great displeasure

in, but if it weren't for his family being held captive until he implants the system into a

worthy subject, he would've committed Seppukku to prevent his research from falling into

evil hands. His life's work was now being turned into a weapon for the purpose of killing,

all in the name of the evil machinations of a madman bent on becoming a new messiah,

but that madman would be a substitute messiah, a false messiah, and would go down

in the annoles of history as the worst, most inhumane monster ever to be born since

the days Adolph Hitler stalked the earth. Then, all of a sudden, the very man responsible

for his bondage walked into the lab like he was God incarnate.

Burton Mankey: Dr. Midorikawa, how goes the construction of the cybernetic implants?

Dr. Midorikawa: How do you think it goes, my research twisted and perversed for the purpose

of spreading death instead of helping amputees and war veterans. If I were a younger man,

I'd fight you to the last, and see you die as the monster that you really are.

Burton Mankey: I see that you are a little put off by our recruitment methods. I'll tell you what,

once we've conquered all of the world, we'll see about getting you published. Now how does

that sound?

Dr. Midorikawa: (visibly enraged but maintains his decorum) You would get me published

alright, as one of the contributors to the most destructive acts of barbacity the world has

ever known. That would do little to honor my family, or the poor unfortunate innocents that

will be slaughtered under your unjust reign.

Burton Mankey: (grins smugly at the good doctor) Speaking of your family, we have aquired a

proper "guest room" for your lovely wife and daughter. If you continue to cooperate with us,

we will most assuredly grant them total safety and freedom within these halls. However, if you

do not, then they'll meet with an untimely death at our hands, but not before my men give them

one last night of pleasure, whether they like it or not.

Dr. Midorikawa: (starts to let his anger show) You wouldn't dare.

Burton Mankey: (turns on a tele-viewer that shows the doctor's family in a prison cell) I would,

and just to show you that I'm not without a heart, I'll let you and your family converse with one

another.

Burton Mankey then brings the microphone of the intercom to Dr. Midorikawa and hands it to

him so that he may use it to communicate with his family. Tears were welling up in the good

doctor's eyes as he spoke to them through the loudspeaker system.

Dr. Midorikawa: Ruriko, Chizuru, are you alright?

Ruriko: (with tears of fear streaming down her face) We're alright, Dad. What do these men

want with us?

Dr. Midorikawa: It's not you that they want, it's me. Because of my nominal set of skills and  
abilities in the field of cybernetics, they chose to kidnap you and your mother as well, as an

insurance to make sure that I help create a cyborg assassin. I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry,

that you had to be mixed up in this.

Chizuru: It's not your fault, Toshihiro, this sort of thing just happens. I'm sure you'll find a way

out, for all three of us.

Dr. Midorikawa: Oh my dear, sweet, understanding, and courageous wife, I'll do anything to make it right, and I'll find a way for all of us to get out of here. That's a promise.

Ruriko: Please, Dad, whatever you do, be careful, they might kill you if you do anything to

break us out.

Dr. Midorikawa: I promise to be careful, and then we'll all get out, I swear on my very life.

Burton Mankey: (turns off the tele-viewer) Alright, that's enough of the touching family

reunion. Now, when will the system be operational?

Dr. Midorikawa: In one day's time, the cybernetic implants will be operational. In fact, I

was just working on the final touches on them.

Burton Mankey: (in a sickly pleasured tone of voice) Good, that's what I want to hear.

We will leave you to your work, meanwhile, my family and I will go pick up our newest

acquisition.

As Mankey left the lab, the poor grey haired doctor lamented in his thoughts about this

current situation, and while doing so, continued working.

Meanwhile, with Burton Mankey

Burton: Angela dear, have you found our "candidate" for the Shocker-roid yet?

Angela: I have, Burton, my darling, we've been in close surveillance of a man named

Takeshi Hongo. Age: 32, Weight: 109 lbs., no family or girlfriend, he has a career

as a physics proffessor for college level students and a tenth dan blackbelt in the

martial art of shorinji kenpo-ryu karate, and on his summers off, he is a proffessional

all around motorcycle racer. We're currently tracking him even as we speak.

Burton: Excellent, where is he right now, if you don't mind my asking?

Angela: He's at the Shogun motorcycle garage, a motorcycle repair/body/mechanics

shop which also delves into customization, and is located on the corner of Eisner and

Katzenberg. If we hurry, we can catch him in his sleep, we may have to kill the owner

in the process, but one can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs.

Burton: No, I don't want to create an international incident, let's wait until he's completely

alone, possibly when he goes out. That way we will leave no trace or witnesses.

Angela: As you wish, Mein Kaiser.

After Burton Mankey had read the dossier on Takeshi Hongo a little further, he, his family,

and a hand selected group of Shocker operatives prepaired themselves for the extraction

mission.

The next morning in Middleton, at the Shogun Motorcycle Garage

Takeshi Hongo had finished his morning routine, he practiced his Kata until breakfast

was ready. Basically, it started out as a normal day for him, but little did he know that

his life was about to change.

Tobei Tachibana: (while in the kitchen) Hey, Takeshi, breakfest is ready, come get it while it's

hot.

After Takeshi finished his Kata, he heads to the kitchen to weez on the munch and juice before

his morning ride.

Takeshi: (sits down before scarfing down) Thanks, Chief, I'm sorry that I can't move into my

new place right away, but you know realtors these days.

Tobei: Don't I know it, they're all the same all over the world I'd bet, but in a few more days, you

will be the proud owner of a lovely new loft house before you can say, "Go go Godzilla".

The two friends had a nice and relaxed kind of a breakfast, really laidback and full of sparkling

conversation about everything from the sports & weather, to today's world news. After they

finished up, Takeshi got his racing gear on and headed out the door. As he straddled his

motorbike, he gave one last wave goodbye to Tobei, then he sped off like greased lightning on

the asphalt.

Meanwhile, on the streets of Middleton

The Mankeys were riding along in their own limousine when Angela had got the call that their

intended target was riding along Bruce's Run Road, down into the Kalish Tunnel to Downtown

Middelton. After informing her husband of the target's position, they implemented their wicked

scheme. Once there was absolutely no traffic within the tunnel, the Shocker soldiers closed it

off at both ends, with poor Takeshi locked inside the tunnel. With the tunnel blocked off at both

ends, the Shocker grunts proceeded to cut the power to the overhead lights in the tunnel, thus

making the headlights from their vehicles the only lights to be seen. Just then, the passenger

doors of the Mankey family limo had opened up, and out walked three mysterious indviduals

dressed in peculiar suits, but not just any suits, these were heavily modified copies of Kim's

Battlesuit. The first had an anaconda themed suit that protected and adorned his brutish and

barbarian like body, complete with a helmet to cover up his face. Another had a viper themed

suit that accentuated her lethal curves and bountiful bosom, and was completed with a mask

that left her mouth exposed, but hid the rest of her face quite well. The last was clothed in a

bat themed suit that matched the endless darkness within his black heart, and it too has a mask

as well, but the third person chose not to wear it unless he was in combat, and carried a dozen

red roses to his captive.

Burton Mankey: (in an obnoxiously cheerful voice) Congratulations, Mr, Takeshi Hongo, you've

been selected by our organization to be the champion in our crusade against the evil Team

Possible and their nefarious allies. We welcome you into our ranks.

With that, the Shocker grunts began clapping, giving their captive a standing ovation. These

guys must be hardcore Broadway musical fans.

Takeshi: What are you talking about? Team Possible are heroes, and there isn't an evil bone in

any of their bodies.

Burton Mankey: Oh, but they are. You see, they go off on little missions to help save the dying

and decaying world, even when it is too far gone for treatment, cure, or recovery. They basically

prolong the suffering of the entire world, and chalk it up to being heroes. In actuality, the only

way to save the world is to destroy it, and then rebiuld it in our own image. Which is why we've

chosen you to kill Team Possible as an example to the world, that if you go out playing the hero,

you will only be compounding the suffering the world goes through each day.

Takeshi: (in clear and total defiance) Just who the hell are you, and what gives you the right to

destroy civilization as we know it?

Burton Mankey: (smiling sadistically as he speaks) How rude of us not to introduce ourselves,

we are the Shocker, and in accordance to our god, Cthulu, we have already deemed the world

unworthy of seeing another millenium.

With that, Mankey donned his bat themed mask, and with his family joining in, he went to attack

Takeshi Hongo. Takeshi however, adopted the main defensive stance of shorinji kenpo, and he

braced himself for the attack. His whirlwind kicks, hammer fists, reverse punches, and ax-hand

chops had made him a difficult target to capture, but when Burton Mankey glided through the air

just like a bat, the battle soon became an exercise in futility for the college professor. He was

soon overtaken by the Shocker's highest achelon, but not before giving them a couple of bumps

and bruises, just enough to tell that they've been in a fight. With their prey safely unconcious,

they hauled his prone body into their personal limo, and shackled him to ensure that he wouldn't

escaped. While the Shocker grunts took down all the detour and construction site signs, the

Mankey family had driven to their hidden headquarters.

Burton Manley: Now that we have our "candidate", we can commence with the experiment, and

kill Team Possible at the same time. Tell the good doctor that we have our test subject, and the

surgery will take place tonight.

Angela: Do we have to let him and his family go after he completes the implantation surgery?

Burton: Are you kidding, if we do that, they could very well go to G.J. and go informant on us.

We'll have to make copies of his total schematics, and then "retire" the good doctor and his

family.

Alek: We beat him up good, didn't we, Dad?

Burton: (smiles and laughs proudly) That we did, the family that plays together, stays together.

With that, the Mankeys all shared a full-on belly laugh, and drove off with their human guinea

pig in tow. It's safe for me to say that they're crazier than the family from the Texas Chainsaw

Massacre movies, because that's what they remind me of. Nuff' said!

Before I leave you, I'd like to give thanks and shoutouts to levi2000a1, Subject87,

Imyoshi, and anyone who's taken the time to read the story this far, and leave

their reviews on it's chapters. Now, as for that second letter. let's check that out,

shall we? I open the second envelope only to find a letter of only two words, and

it had been written in blood, and on the standard stationary paper used by Disney

executives. It only said, "Tonight, You!", and there was only one proper response

for a letter like this that I can think of. I crumpled it up and chucked it into the old

garbage pail. If Disney thinks that they can intimdate me, and break me down for

borrowing their charcters, then I've got a few things to say about that: 1. Two tear

drops in a bucket! & 2. SUCK IT! I go into the classic D Generation X salute of

crossing my arms into an X and waving said X up and down on my crotch as the

fireworks and pyrotechnics went off. I guess that'll shut them up for a while, so

in closing, I'd like to say thank you, and keep reading and reviewing. Later, Y'all!


	7. Chapter 7

Hey there, guys, RiderV3Stoppable here, and we've got a fresh new chapter to

explore within the legend of Kamen Rider. First off, we found out more about

Project: Re-genesis and Operation: Purification. Then, we all got even with

that basketcase, Josh Mankey, and scared the stuffing out of him. Can anyone

say, "poetic justice"? But what's Bonnie and the Rockwaller Bunch planning on

to beat the wrap for trying to steal Ron's beauceaux bucks? Plus, poor Takeshi

Hongo had been captured by a family that's crazier than the whole Manson family

combined. I'll give you three guesses as to who that family is, and the first two

don't count. If you guessed the Mankey's, then you're smart enough to be the

president of the United States of America. In this chapter, we'll see Bonnie get

grilled like a rack of ribs on a barbecue, and then try to convert Team Possible

into living zombies, only to fail in the attempt and getting put in the hurtlocker.

We'll also see Team Possible mount a heroic rescue attempt against the Shocker

to save Dr. Midorikawa, his family, and their new friend, Takeshi Hongo. All this

before the final touches on the Shocker-roid project can be implemented, and the

whole Midorikawa family is "liquidated", with extreme prejudice. Will me and our

heroes make it out alive in this chapter? Well, the only way to find out is to read

this next chapter. But before we start, Kim Possible and all of the show's little

characters are owned by Disney, Bill Kopp, Robert Schooley, and Mark McCorkle.

As for Kamen Rider, that's owned by ShoPro productions, Toei Eiga Co., Adness

entertainment, Bandai Japan, and the late great Ishinomori Shotarou. Please

support the official releases, and don't forget to read and review. Thank you, and

enjoy.

_**Chapter seven: The birth of the Kamen Rider!**_

When the three of us got back, we all needed a big old caffeine boost during breakfast, so we

grabbed a couple espressos over at the food court, along with some breakfast burritos and a lot

of cheese sauce for little Rufus. Fortunately, we recorded Josh's entire confession on the ol'

Kimmunicator, audio only of course, so as to avoid unnecessary legal trouble, and Auntie Betty

was there to meet us. We thought that we could kill two birds with one stone, and give her our

report while we weezed on the snackage and the juice. Let's just hope she's not the squeemish

type, cuz' what I've gotta report ain't for the faint of heart.

Dr. Director: (looking like she's gonna barf after hearing the report) Did you...treat his wounds

afterwards?

E.T.: Yes we did, Auntie Betty, and we left absolutely zero traces. In fact, that prison hospital

didn't even have any recording devices what so ever, so if the prison quacks want to hack Josh

Mankey into bits and harvest his organs to sell on the black market, no one would know about

it, or for that matter, feel bad about it. Uh-oh, I just realized that in our sleep starved haze that

we broke a solemn pact by talking about it.

Dr. Director: (waving her hands defensively) That's alright, it's probably my fault for taking an

advantage over your sleep deprivation, and giving the three of you that kind of authorization

in the first place. Good work, you three, we'll do some more research on this bastard named

Gustav Mankenheimer, and let you know if we compile anything on him. Enjoy your breakfast,

and please don't forget to visit Bonnie Rockwaller, her family's names are amongst E.T.'s list

of Shocker operatives afterall.

Kim: (starts to smile evilly at that realization) You thinking what I'm thinking, Ron?

Ron: Yeah, Kim, I am. We could turn her family's association to Shocker to our favor. Now

we can turn all that high school evil she spewed at the both of us right back at her.

Kim: (in a joking manner) Actually, I was thinking we could torture her for further actionable intel,

like we did with Mankey, or Mankenheimer, or whatever his name is. But blackmailing her into

spilling the guts about her crimes against you is a slice of poetic justice. I mean, it's so like

what Bonnie would actually do.

E.T.: Well, if you're gonna go through with this brilliant idea, you've gotta be careful, because

she could have a whole computer's worth of those Voodoo chips in her hand bag.

Ron: Voodoo chip, huh? That's catchy, maybe you should write this stuff down.

Kim: Question, do your Vanguards have shapeshifting and mimicing capabilities?

E.T.: They can nano-morph into anyone or anything you can imagine, and if you guys wanna

play poker, then keep your money in your bank accounts, because these machines can bluff

with the best of them. They can even produce sounds and voices imitating those that they

nano-morph into, with uber-realistic audio output. Why do you ask?

Ron: I think I know where she's going with this. You see, we make two of the Vanguards

mimic us, and if Bonnie should put the Voodoo chips on us, she'll actually be putting them

on our nano-morphing copies. Meanwhile, thanks to my mask making skills, we'll be in

disguises, and dress ourselves up as the local P.D. to fool her. Then when we catch her

in the act, that's when we spring the trap. Did I catch your drift just right, Kim?

Kim: (visibly impressed with how quickly Ron caught on) Right on the money, Ronnie-kins,

you so deserve a kiss for that.

E.T.: (mulling it over for a second) You know, that's not a bad idea. With the safety protocols

and security measures on each of the Vanguard androids, they can't be controlled by anyone

through any kind of hacking, or any kind of device. She'll be a sitting duck in that interrogation

room. Especially with the worldwide control computer for all of the Vanguards up in G.J.'s own

mobile headquarters. Now, let's begin your small arms training. First up is sparring with the

rubber knives over at the R.C.'s sparring room, then it's onto the infrared light gun shooting alley

and firing range, finally, we'll cap it off with some gun safety and handling classes. I hope you

guys are fast learners, because we only have a short time to run through this kind of training.

Ron: Sure, whatever you say, Sensei Becker. You ready, Rufus?

Rufus: (looking satisfied after munching on the cups filled with cheese sauce) Hnk', Hokay!

After we had our breakfast, we got to the sparring room. I taught them some basic techniques

and tested them on their performance. They passed with flying colors, so when it came to the

real training in combative moves, they each had me on the mat in no time flat, each with their

knives on my neck, and with that danged naked mole rat laughing at me. Finally, we finished

knife combat training with a sparring match between Kim & Ron, to show me what they had

learned so far. It ended in a very close draw between the teen heroes. Boy, I'm sure glad we

were using rubber knives, especially with the way these two fought. By the time it was over,

Will the Dookie boy decided to finally show up.

E.T.: It's about damned time you decided to show up from your date. What took you so long,

did you get laid or something.

Will Du: (lying through his teeth) You could say that.

E.T.: Well get the lead out, we gotta get to the shooting range and shoot off a few rounds.

Will Du: (feigning a sense of discipline) Yes, Sir, Agent Becker, Sir.

The Infrared Light Gun Range, "The Village"

When we all got to the range, I had Kim & Ron work on their accuracy for while. They both

had dead eye aim, so I had them work on their rapid fire and quick draw action, with the help

of the holographic simulator. They took a couple hits, but nothing to damage their scores.

At least they finished in the highest rankings. Finally, I had them square off in a showdown

match, the first one to get in the most hits wins. That had ended in a photo finish draw, and

I was amazed at how fast these two had picked this up. Then came the gun safety lecture.

Lord, give me strength.

E.T.: Okay, guys, these are Colt .44 Magnums, some of the most powerful handguns in the

entire world. Fortunately, these aren't even loaded yet, but I'll teach you how operate and

maintain these hand cannons well enough to last you a long, long time.

I hand the them two Colt Magnums, both of them weren't loaded, and they listened intently

to my instructions.

E.T.: First off, if you're gonna keep guns in the house, then keep them in a gun locker, and

never keep it with the ammo. Instead, put the ammo in a seperate container, and keep both

of them locked up, especially when you have kids around the house. Second, you wanna put

a trigger lock on your gun, to prevent a misfire, or a household accident. Accidental shooting

deaths are no laughing matter. Thirdly, when you're loading your gun, you'd wanna point it

down and away, and never when there are a bunch of people crowding around you. It's not just

a good idea, it's also common sense.

Ron: (in a questionative manner) Does Global Justice supply us with all this stuff, and if so, is it

only temporary, or is it on a permanent basis?

Kim: (raises her eyebrow inquisitively) Ron, did you just keep your head in the game?

Ron: (looks at Kim) Badical! I guess when you put a guy like me in a class like this, then I'm

just bound to pay attention. That, or your overall supreme awesomeness is just rubbing off on

me.

E.T.: Actually, Ron, you're both recieving a special temporary liscense that's good for up to until

this whole Shocker ordeal is resolved. Hence, you two will be issued with your own armaments

and ammunition. Once the ordeal's over, they'll be relinquished from your hands.

Kim: (can't help but find no fault in E.T.'s logic) Hmm...makes perfect sense to me.

E.T.: Okay then, let's continue the lecture, shall we?

I told them the improtance of high quality gun oil, and how to use when cleaning a firearm. I had

even gone into the differences between a rotary chamber and a magazine clip. I even went as

far as using visual aides and showing them how things are done. They just kept absorbing it all,

and that sort of thing impressed me. After I took them topside, they each fired off a couple of

rounds at some tin cans. Each shot was a single hit bull's eye. Yeesh, these kids must have

watched too many westerns. Once Team Possible had completed all of their requirements, I

handed them their temporary liscenses.

E.T.: Now remember, you two, there is no such thing as gunplay, because guns are a serious

business. They can be just as much of a tool for survival and saving lives, as they can for the

act of killing. It all depends on who's holding it by it's grip.

The teen dynamic duo thanked me for the lessons and we celebrated with Nacos for lunch. I

couldn't tell if I was that good of a teacher, if they were just naturals and fast learners, or quite

possibly both. But they had taken to the crash course of E.T.'s school of crimefighting like a

couple ducks to water.

At the same time, in an undisclosed location

Burton Mankey had gathered them worst of the worst that Team Possible has ever faced for a

secret meeting. They had come from all over the world to see what all the hub-bub was all

about. The head of Henchco, the leader of the Worldwide Empire of Evil, and the bulk of the

remaining members of the Consortium of Crime, had all awaited to hear from the man who had

called the meeting into order.

Burton Mankey: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, I am the supreme leader of Shocker.

You may address me as "Emperor Draculoid", and the reason that I've called you here, is

because I now hold the perfect weapon to destroy our common enemy. A weapon for which

to destroy Team Possible once and for all, the Shocker-roid 1000!

Gemini: All of us here in attendance have at one time built the supposedly perfect weapon for

which could've destroyed Team Possible, and time and time again, they've all failed against

them.

You're not just whistling Dixie there, brother.

Motor Ed: Yeah, Dude, like Big Red and her pet dork trashed all of our plans and schemes, and

got us sent to Sing Sing for all our troubles, seriously! Like, what makes you think you'd have a

better chance at it, seriously?

Burton Mankey: Because, my mechanically inclined neanderthal, I have with me the one and

only weapon that Team Possible cannot destroy, inside the Shocker-roid 1000 is the remnants

of an innocent human being. That's the one thing, the only thing, that Team Possible can't even

touch.

Prof. Dementor: Are you sayink zat ze Shocker-roid isht actually un cyborg?

Burton Mankey: In a manner of speaking, my Aryan brother, yes, but one with which whose

mind we can control, completely and absolutely. Since Team Possible took a promise never

to harm an innocent person without due provocation, they couldn't fight him as easily, and they

may even hesitate in destroying him if they're ordered to do so. Plus, with all the high tech and

hyper advanced features of the Wade-bots and Kim's Battlesuit in his cybernetic system, he'll

have a double advantage to give Team Possible, our acursed enemies, more than a run for

their money.

Mathter: But the odds of an actual human surviving an implant surgery of such a nature and

extent are 1,822,356,749 to 1 against. There's no possible way that it would take without

massive organ shut down by tissue rejection and failure.

Adrena Lynne: (in complete skeptical agreement with Mathter) He's right, for a nerdlinger, an

actual human going through that kind of modification, and to that extent, is a little too freaky

for my taste. Besides, what's to stop him from turning on us and going all freaky on us?

Burton Mankey: The answer is quite simple, Ms. Lynne, and it is in the Cerebral Control Chip.

After our "test subject" undergoes the surgery, we plant said chip onto the base of the back of

his neck, and once it's been activated, he'll no longer think or act independently. In other words,

he'll be a total vegetable, thusly, making him easy to control.

Gill (that's gill, with 2 L's, not just one by the way): So which unlucky dweeb of a twerp do we put

it up against? If you have all the logistics of this cyber-freak all worked out, we ought to see just

what he can do exactly. We wanna see what he's capable of, and what he can bring to our little

cabal.

Burton Mankey: I have the answer for that as well, my fine amphibious mutation. The first of the

victims are none other than Team Possible. But before you ask about my other project and why

I've included all of you in on it, I'll let you in on the crux of things. First, I do have a fully stocked

fleet of airships already built, and set up at key locations all over the globe. Second, I'm in the

process of building a government based on my political and social point of view, and I need a

group of volunteers to serve as my world council. Lastly, Team Possible's deaths are to serve

as a reminder to anyone that dares to oppose us that death will be the only thing that awaits

them at the end of any battle against our empire. Plus, the subterranean warhead has already

been completed, and is ready to launch into it's journey to the earth's core. All you have to do is

assist one of our human spies destroy everyone, except for Team Possbile, and help our own

invasionary forces break into "The Village". If anyone else escapes with Team Possible, then

the Shocker-roid will make minced meat out of the whole lot of them. However, we'll need a sort of "supplementary force" of genetically engineered beasts, commanded by you of course, to help round up all of the mindless sheep who dare call themselves "members of the human race", and coral them into the airships before we launch the subterranean nuke and destroy this pathetically zionistic excuse of a planet. Then, when the planet's new surface has cooled down in a couple of decades or so, we will return to it, and reshape the world into what we see fit.

As the whole lot of villains watched the holographic simulation play out with a distinct interest,

many of them looked on with express satisfaction, while only three had looked on with sheer

and unadulterated disgust. Those three were none other than the father-son-duo of well-to-do

criminal masterminds, the Senor Seniors, and the self-proclaimed deadliest golfer in the entire

world, Duff Killigan. The plan itself, along with the execution, would've sent race relations back

to the time of the dark ages, and leave the entire planet still reeling from a worldwide volcanic

eruption, one brought about by nuclear fallout from the subterranean warhead's explosion. Plus

the new surface of the earth would be iradiated to unsafe and uninhabitable conditions, and the

plant life that would grow from it would be inedibly unsafe for human consumption, or that of an

animal as well. Furthermore, the water supply on the surface would be rendered radioactive,

and thus, unsafe to drink, or do much of anything for that matter. Also, even if the people did

try to dig for wells and springs of fresh water, the surface radiation would render it unsafe, and

if evaporated, could produce acid rain clouds. This SO sounds like Al Gore's worst nightmare

come true. If you don't know who the fuck Al Gore is, he's the guy who "invented the internet".

Just throwing you a little F.Y.I. for your A.P.B., guys.

Burton Mankey: So, do I have your full support? Because I'm open to any thoughts, quiries,

and suggestions that you guys may have.

Aviarius: So that's your big plan, kill off all the world's political and military leaders, then coral

a select handful of slaves into airships during the ensuing chaos, and finally, set off a chain of

global volcanic eruptions all over the world with a subterranean nuke which explodes upon the

impact of the earth's core. Emperor Draculoid, I like the way you think, you can count on my

full support.

Adrena Lynne: This plan is ten kinds of freaky, and I love it. Where do I sign up?

Motor Ed: This plan seriously rocks. Like, how do I join up, seriously?

Frugal Lucre: I'm curious as to how you've actually pulled off this endeavor while staying within

or under the budget actually, I mean, something like this takes years and years of preparation,

as well as the accounting of all costs that go into it.

Burton: Over the years, since the end of the second world war, we built each of the components

for the airships and the warhead piece by piece, one at a time, and all the while, buying any sort

of company that's dumb enough to get fleeced by us. Does that answer your question?

Frugal: Fair enough, now where's that little sign up sheet?

D.N. Amy : I don't know, guys, but all this seems a little too extreme to be your simple global

conquest type scheme. Something about all this just doesn't bode well with me.

Burton: We'll even help you free your long lost love from his stoney prison, and give you an

unlimited supply of source material, along with top notch facilities to work in and make your

own Cuddle Buddies to your heart's content.

D.N. Amy : (thinks for a brief second) Ah what the hay, I'm in.

Gill: I'm in as well, but only to make that Stoppable twerp suffer to his last, and rape his cute

girlfriend right in front of his very eyes before I finish him off.

Mathter: Mathematically speaking, I'll be going with the majority on this one.

Jack Hench: I think I speak for myself, Gemini, and all of Henchco and the W.E.E., when I say

we're all in as well. Wouldn't you agree, Gemini?

Gemini: Very well, but I'm going to be the one who cleans the clocks of both Kim Possible, and

my hated twin sister whom shall remain nameless for the time being.

It's in that one moment of time that Senor Senior Sr. does the one thing he's never, and I mean

never, ever done in the show, he stands up from his comfy wheelchair/lounge chair combo. The aged Spanish peacock has some big, brassy cajones on him. I'mma give him that much. It's too bad about what'll happen to him after he gets two or three lines in, because only I know for certain what's going to transpire here.

Senor Senior Sr.: I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but I'm going to have to decline the Emperor's

offer, besides, this plot goes against every single rule in the Arch-Villain's Handbook. Not only

that, but I've studied Nuclear Physics back in my college days. In fact, I even did a thesis on the

effects that any nuclear isotope would have on an ordinary volcanic eruption, well enough to

know that if you intend to go through with this madness, you will iradiate the magma to a level where even if it cools down enough in the time that he just said, it will still remain an uninhabitable and dangerous wasteland on the surface, and produce acid clouds that spew black rain. So, you see, it'll not only affect the land, but also our planet's water supply.

Just as the Spainard had finished, the Scotsman entered the discussion.

Duff Killigan: Nae' offense to ye', Mr. High-an'-mighty-emperor, but ye' 'ave to be daft right outta'

yer' gourd to go an' destroy th' world just so ye' can make a new one paterned after th' world's

biggest arsehole ever to 'ave lived an' walked th' earth, Adolf Hitler. If'n ye' think ye' got th' stones it takes to pull off this li'l bit of insanity, then ye' be even more facked up than Mel Gibson on a big ol' facking tyrade about a race war between the Europeans of caucasian descent, and ev'ryone else in th' world, ye' goddamned arrogant Aryan Arsehole. This kinda' shite may be in Professor Dementor's wet dreams, but it nae' be in mine, laddie.

Burton: Well, that's two against, anymore Nay-sayers?

Seeing his father and Duff stand up for the world the way they did, Senor Senior Jr. had decided

to add his morally driven two cents to the table. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the

banana tree, or something like that.

Senor Senior Jr.: I'm sorry, Mr. Draculoid, but when you decided on building a cyborg that no

longer has a mind, or for that matter, a will of it's own, you openly decided to play god, and on

an innocent human being none the less. Like my father, I politely decline your offer.

Burton: Well three nay-sayers all in a bunch, what do you think, Professor Dementor?

Prof. Dementor: For ze glory of our beloved Zird Reich, I humbly accept your most gracious offer.

Burton: Finally, a true member of the master race, dankensche, mein doctor. I'll give the few and privelaged nay-sayers just three chances to change their minds about their decisions.

Senor Senior Sr.: Even if you'd kill me, I'll never join your insane plan for global genocide.

Burton: (pulls out a Barretta) I'm sorry to here that, aufwiedersehn, Mr. Triple S.

When Burton took aim for Senor Senior Sr.'s head, he squeezed the trigger and fired a round

into the aged Spainard's forehead, right between his eyes. The others just watched in abject

horror as the late, great man-of-leisure-turned-honorable-villain's brains had flown out of the back of his skull, and hit the nearest wall adjacent to him. Meanwhile, the leader of the Shocker just wore a sick and twisted grin of pure sadism that would make even the most courageous of souls wretch in fear.

Burton: (facing the two non-believers) Now you only have two chances, let that be a lesson to you two zionistic aetheists. I suggest that you two go home, get some sleep, and think this over.

Because if I don't like the answer you have to give me, you'll end up as dead as that no account

fossil that I had wasted just now. NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA' HERE, YOU GODLESS, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS-MOTHERFUCKERS!

With that, the two had fled the scene in complete terror, neither of them looked back, for the fear of the Shocker leader following them. I apologize to any of the young readers out there, along with their parents, for what they had just read, but despite this story having no sex scenes, this is for all intensive purposes an M rated story, thus, that deplorable scene of blood, gore, and unnecessary violence. I'll try to keep it light hearted from this point on, and just skip to where Team Possible and myself head forth to the Middleton Police Precinct.

On the way to the Middleton P.D.

Kim, Ron, and myself had decided not to use the usual high-tech limousine for a change,

and instead used an 2 yr. old unmarked police S.U.V. that was on loan to G.J., which only

served to get us there slower than usual, but far more undetected. This piece of automotive

genius must have seen a lot of stakeouts in it's time, because I'm getting a whole Mata-hari

kind of vibe just from sitting in the middle row seat. Sure it was big, klunky, slow, and it had

went through gas like no tomorrow, but at least it came with a nifty little siren system, in case

we needed to get there in a hurry, which we abused to no end, along with a cool looking black

paint job. We all had decided to let Rufus and Will Du sit this out and join Wade in the comm

room, because both Kim & Ron were feeling especially mean today. It's a good thing that we

worked out all the logistics of the plan before we headed out, we were almost to our destination

and time was on our side. As we entered the police station, people started to take notice of

who was coming in, along with a pair of G.J. Agents that looked to be in their early 20's or late

teens, making our entrance a little more dramatic than it actually was.

Chief Hobble: Ah, Saints preserve us, it does me heart good to see ye' again Ms. Possible, and

the same can be said for ye' to, Ronnie me boyo. Who're the other three in ye' party, if I may

ask?

E.T.: I'm E.T. Becker, Chief Constable Hobble, and these other two with me are Agents Sculley

and Mulder from Global Justice. We're just here to make sure that the Rockwaller incident is

only just an isolated incident, and nothing more. Team Possible however, is here to question

the possible suspect in question, to make sure that she has all of her facts straight and such.

Chief Hobble: Oy, lad, I heard about ye' from the tele', ye're the gold medal olympic champion

who helped Team Possible out and saved the poor little lass from the clutches of that madman

over in Japan, aren't ye'?

E.T.: That I am, so now that we've established that, could you direct us to the suspect?

Chief Hobble: Ms. Rockwaller is in Interrogation Room Three, with her lawyer, Hank Perkins.

We tried to get a full confession out of her, but she keeps her lips closed tighter than a real

life Irish Catholic Nun, and that snake of a lawyer is nae' being o' any help. We had to take

a short break from interrogations to gather our wits, and thusly, are not taping anything right

now.

E.T.: (I put my hands together ala C. Montgomery Burns from "The Simpsons") Excellent!

After that breif interlude, we made our way to the interrogation room, which was currently

unsupervised at this time. When we walked into the room, we saw what I thought we'd

never see in our entire lives. We saw Bonnie Rockwaller, panties down, with Hank Perkins,

and his belt and pants were undone. From the looks of it, I'd say Bonnie was about to hop

onto Hank's good foot and get ready to do the bad thing. We couldn't pass this up, so I pulled

out my I Phone, and took a photo that will be worth more words than the entire transcription of

the epic Russian literary classic, "War and Peace".

Bonnie: (gets off of her lawyer upon hearing the click of the I Phone) What the fuck, haven't you

Pervos heard of knocking?

E.T.: Sorry, we'll come back another time, maybe after I post this up on the internet, then what

would your parents think of their "sweet and innocent little girl" mounting the Shocker Products

Legal Representative like a stallion?

Bonnie: (as she pulls her panties up and Hank fixes his pants) Alright, you've got your cheap

laughs for the day, now what is it you want?

E.T.: (as I close the blinds of the room's windows) Simple, we're only looking for answers about

a certain terrorist organization called "The Shocker", as well if you or your uncle intended to help

fund them in anyway by stealing Ron's money. If you give us the right answers, and if we like

the answers you tell us, we'll drop the charges against you and your uncle. However, you both

must promise never to do this sort of thing again, because if you do, Kimmie here has free reign

to kick your aerobicised booty six ways to Sunday.

Bonnie: (as she sits down at one end of the table and grabs her handbag) Okay, Mr. Chuck

Norris, I'll talk, but only if I get to apologize to K & R for what I've done, otherwise, no deal.

E.T.: Would your "Lawyer" have any problemo with that bit of parlay on your behalf?

Hank Perkins: (wearing a sinister smile as he sat down to join Bonnie at her end of the table)

Actually, as long as it's not a violent transgression against Team Possible, which would only

serve to bring her more jail time, I've no objections to an apology.

E.T.: Fair enough, after the apology, we can dispense with the formal inquiry and work some

legal magic to get you out of here.

After that pleasant exchange, Bonnie dug through her handbag to make it look like she was

making sure things were in their proper place. Then she got up and headed over to where

Kim & Ron were standing, with "Sculley", "Mulder", and myself not taking our eyes off. I

then begin to thank my lucky stars that the "sunglasses" that the "agents" were wearing

also doubled as high-tech digital cameras that transmitted audio/video/photographic info to

the communications room at "The Village". Once Bonnie was close enough to the teen

crimefighters, she wrapped an arm around Kim & Ron each, then placed a strange looking

adhesive patch at each of the backs of their necks, where the skull connects to the spine.

Bonnie: (as she relinquished her hug) I hope there's no hard feelings between us.

After "Kim" & "Ron" had exchanged a shared look of agreement, "Kim" had spoke to Bonnie

in a slightly robotic voice that was autotuned ala T-Pain.

"Kim": It's no big, Bonnie, like so not the drama. Wouldn't say so "Ron"?

"Ron": (also in an autotuned voice) Don't worry, Bon-bon, it's water under the bridge.

Bonnie: (in complete shock that borders between puzzlement and alarm) OH, MY GOD, YOU

GUYS ARE...YOU'RE...

E.T.: (ala Larvell Jones from the "Police Academy" movies) My god, you're robots, my god,

you're robots, bwebwebwebwee!

Robo-Kim: Not just any robots, we're special, top of the line Vanguard Nanomorphic Androids.

Robo-Ron: That's right, folks, and we're much better than the Diablos, the Synthodrones, and

the Bebes all put together.

Hank: (in a panic and a half) Quick, you brunette headed bitch, activate the chips before they kill

us off.

Bonnies hands made a mad dash inside her handbag to find a P.D.A. like device that had a set

of specific instructions to kill anyone linked with G.J. who was in the room with them, and she

pulled it out in record time. When she switched it on and transmitted the programming into the

chips, the chips were fried, and fell off of the life like androids as a pair of scorched dust and

ash piles.

Robo-Kim: (feigning disgust in her synthesized voice) I do think she tried to mind control us with

that P.D.A. thing.

Robo-Ron: I do believe you're correct, let's give them a couple demonstrations as to why they

won't work.

Robo-Kim: First off, we can disable any external control device placed on our bodies, that is as

long as those devices don't adhere to the Asimov Protocols of our programming.

Robo-Ron: We can also send signals that transmit a debilitating computer virus to any kind of

electronic equipment that's linked to said device, like so.

With that, Robo-Ron had transmitted a trinary coded virus to Bonnie's P.D.A., which caused it

to reach overload and explode as she threw it out of her hands.

Robo-Kim: Second, as I've said before, we're nanomorphic androids, and thusly, able to turn our

limbs into weapons for combat.

After Robo-Kim nodded to Robo-Ron to give him the okay, he turned his right arm into a battle

axe, and cleaved the table in half, right down the middle. If Hank and Bonnie didn't wet their

pants when this began, their pantalones should be soaked with piss and filled to the brim with

shit right about now.

Robo-Ron: Which also brings us to the next demonstration, you see, given our unique shape

shifting abilities, we are also able to mimic actual, live humans, right down to their fingerprints.

And so, Robo-Team Possible had morphed into the forms of Hank Perkins and Bonnie, both

of them identical to the originals, right down to the stitches and fabrics of their clothes.

Robo-Kim: (while disguised as Hank Perkins) As you can see, we are not programmed to

harm humans...

Robo-Ron: (while disguised as Bonnie Rockwaller) ...but if you make us mad enough, we will

consider you as an inhuman threat to all of mankind...

Both: (in perfect unison) ...and eliminate you on the spot, is that understood?

Bonnie: (shaking like a leaf) S-s-s-sure, w-w-w-w-whatever you say, but w-w-w-what happened

to Kim & Ron?

"Sculley": (while taking off her "sunglasses") Why don't you ask them yourself?

"Mulder": (also while taking his "sunglasses" off) Especially since they've been here all this time.

Thusly, Agents "Mulder & Sculley" shed their disguises to reveal their true identities as the teen

crimefighting duo, Team Possible. Holy psych-outs, Batman!

Kim: (a satisfied grin on her face) Oh, man, what an incredible psych-out. We still caught you in

the act, though, and even scanned you trying to grab some of those Voodoo Chips that were

meant for us...

Ron: (also with the same kind of grin) ...and you know that trying to mess with our minds all

Psy-corp style is so monumentally beyond high school evil, that it permits us to perform the

following act of random violence while our Broha from another Moha gathers all the evidence

we'll need to nail your sorry asses.

Kim & Ron thenwent up to Hank & Bonnie, twisted their right arms in a hammer lock arm bar,

and shoved them forcefully up against the wall. They then cuffed each of their left hands and

proceeded to yank the left arms back far enough to link them up with their right arms. Once

the handcuffs were secured into place, Kim pulled out a 9mm. Baretta out of her holster, and

put the muzzle up to the back of Bonnie's head. Meanwhile, Ron had pulled out a Filipino

made Butterfly Knife, which he twirled, opened, and closed until the blade of such was out

in the open. He pressed the edge of the deadly weapon onto Hank Perkins' neck. If the

famous Rapper-turned-actor Ice cube was here, I'm sure he'd say, "damn!", but he isn't, so

let's get back to the story.

Kim: Alright, Slut-zilla, you're going to tell us if you and that sleezy asshole you call "Uncle"

were trying to syphon off my Ron-man's de niro, and no I'm not talking about Robert De Niro.

You have at least to the count of one to talk, or else your whole fucked-up family can mourn

for your lost soul up in San Quentin, one...

As Kim started to squeeze the trigger, Bonnie felt the same fear that Ron had made her feel

back in the beginning of this crazy story. Only thing is this time around, it's Kim who's pouring

on the venom by the drum barrel full, with a gun in her hand, and ready to blow her head off.

Bonnie: (spills the beans to save her own ass) Alright, I'll talk, I'll even be happy to record it.

Just don't kill me, or send my family up the river.

As Kim loosens her grip on the trigger, she lets loose a small smirk of satisfiable gratification,

and pulls out her Kimmunicator to begin recording the whole confession. Just then, Wade

came on the line.

Kim: Hey, Wade, what's the sitch?

Wade: I know this is probably a bad time to call you guys up...

Ron: (with a slight twinge of sarcasm) Gee, Wade, do you think so?

Wade: (starting to sweat bullets) ...anyway, we've got two hits on the sight, one is from

a friend of your Japanese college professor buddy, he says that Takeshi has been kidnapped.

The other hit is from, get this, Senor Senior Jr. and Duff Killigan.

Kim: Give us a few minutes to wrap this up, and then give us the details on the way back.

Bonnie: So, about that deal where I go to jail and you leave my family out of it?

Kim: Oh, we so did not agree on that, and due to some possible new developments, it looks

like we never will.

Bonnie: (S.A.H., A.K.A. shocked as hell) WHAT, but what about my parents, my reputation,

my college education, and my place on the food chain?

Ron: Don't worry, Bon-bon, Kimila'll keep your throne nice and warm until you do get out, which

is probably the fifth of never, in the year of kiss my ass. So how about you, Sparky, do you feel

like talking today. Because if you don't be a good little puppy and speak for me, I'll give you a

lovely parting gift to remember me by on your long trip down the highway to hell, in the form of a

Bolivian necktie all tied up in a beautiful Windsor knot.

It was then that Hank Perkins did the only thing that a Shocker agent of his training, and his

fortitude, would do if faced with the same exact peril...rat his organization out.

Hank: Alright, I'll give you all the details that you want to know, just please don't kill me, I'm too

young, handsome, and filthy rich to die.

Ron: I think we got us two songbirds up in this piece, Kim, what do you say about having them

do a duet for us?

Kim: I like the way you think, Ronnie Baby, okay, you two, start giving us answers or we'll do

a double tap to each of your skulls.

Bonnie: (shaking her head in disbelief) Whatever happened to old school Team Possible of the

good old days, the one that didn't use lethal weapons and scare tactics to save the day?

Kim: I'll tell you what happened, Shocker is what happened, they threatened our friends, family,

associates, colleagues, and us as well, then one their captured agents tried to do me in, and

finally, they had you and your uncle try and steal my fiancee's hard earned money, and for what,

a war that will make "Mad Max: Beyond the Thunderdome" look like some harmless and silly,

little Disneyland amusement ride that will make you barf out of disgust at how cute it is ten

hours before you even look at it.

Ron: She's right, and in times as turbulent as these, you either adapt to survive, or die and

perish in the nuclear fallout. Basically, we're just following our natural survival instincts, and

arming ourselves to be prepared, while changing our outlook on the world today, and learning

new things about it along the way. In a way, this sort of like Metal Gear Solid, I'm like Solid

Snake, Kim's like Meril Steppenwolf, E.T. over there is like the ninja, and Wade Load is like

Otacom.

I always wanted to be the ninja, but Ron Stoppable as voiced by David Hayter, that's too

scary to fathom, although, Kim would so totally make a believable Meril.

As Hank & Bonnie took their seats immediately after they were released by Kim & Ron,

the confessions started off without a hitch. They told us that Shocker needed to steal

Ron's Naco royalties to fund their race war, and that Takeshi Hongo had become an

unwilling test subject for a new Combative Cybernetic System, which was also the reason

behind the kidnapping of the entire Midorikawa family. They even went as far as to tell us

where their secret headquarters is at, and that all of the airships and the driller nuke as I'd

like to call it had already been built, and that they're ready for the final phase of Operation:

Purification. They also let it slip that Will Du had turned traitor, and is now working for the

Shocker as their mole in our garden. I knew I should've killed him, when I woke up that

morning, I said to myself, "Eddie, don't you dare give that Dookie Boy a day off", but do I

ever listen, hell no.

Kim: That's officially all that we needed to know, thank you very much, Ms. Rockwaller.

Ron: Yeah, I'd say it's been a slice, but then we'd both know I'd be lying.

Bonnie: But what about my family, aren't you even gonna spare them from jail time?

Kim & Ron: (as they're about to leave, and in perfect unison) Fuck them!

After I finished gathering the evidence from the scene, I had my two Vanguards turn into

Sculley & Mulder to avoid suspicion, then we left with Kim & Ron out of the station. But

not before giving Hank & Bonnie a fond farewell in the form of a three part one fingered

salute. We then head out for "The Village" to reconointer with Auntie Betty and the others.

Mostly to get some mission specs and such, but also to weed out a rat within the cornfield.

Wade: (after giving Team Possible their mission specs) ...and that's where we stand right now.

It looks like we just sent you guys out in the nick of time, because Will just left the Comm room

to do God knows what, said something about needing to use the restroom.

Kim: (the concern in her voice becoming evident) Did you let him go alone?

Wade: No way, like I'd take that chance. I sent Rufus with him to make sure he didn't get into

any trouble. The weirdest thing about him was that he had a strange briefcase on him.

Ron: Was it a black Fendi case, and if so, did he bring it with him?

Wade: (in total astonishment) Right on both counts, but how did you know?

Ron & Kim: (total unison again) Because he had it with him when we were training with E.T.,

that's how.

E.T.: Jinx, you both owe me a Grande sized Naco meal with all the fixings.

Wade: Well you'd better get it by drive thru, because if you guys don't hurry, Ol' Dookie-boy's

gonna pull off some next level stuff at the old homestead.

E.T.: Not to worry, Wade my good man, for you see, the security system controls for "The

Village" in it's entirity are linked up with my BeckerCom, all I need to do is track his bio-rythm

signature on every wavelength imaginable to trace his exact position.

As I worked with the speed of a cheetah, the skill of a surgeon, and the touch of an artist, I

track Will Du down to the detention barracks where the prisoners are being kept, all while

humming to the tune of Le' Habanera from the opera classic, "Carmen".

E.T.: Now all I need do is activate the alarms in the detention center and spring the special

security trap.

Wade, Kim, & Ron: (in unified curiosity) What trap?

At the same time, Cell block D, Detention center, "The Village"

Just as Will Du walked up to Robert and Tyrone's cell, the alarms went off, and it quickly

turned into a case of do or die for the disgruntled chauffeur turned mole. As he opened

the case to reveal a Tech-9 sub-machinegun, a bunch of robotic tendrils wrapped themselves

around Will's ankles and wrists, lifted him in the air, and surged with enough electricity to down

a bison.

Back with Team Possible

E.T.: (with all the cool, dry wit of Robert Downey Jr.) That trap!

Back at "The Village"

When Will Du came to, he was surrounded by an armed guard detail, with a pissed off Betty

Director staring down at him, and all of their guns pointed at him. He was so shocked by all

of this, that he didn't even notice that a tiny little passenger in the form of a naked mole rat

had crawled up his pant leg. He knew he had to think of a way to get out of this somehow,

so he put up his hands to feign a surrender.

Dr. Director: Once Team Possible gets here, you can share your side of the story with us,

but until then, you're under arrest.

When Betty had helped him up so he could be cuffed properly, that's when Will saw an opening,

and gave Betty a reversal of a hammer lock, then pulled out her gun from the holster, and put

the muzzle of it up to her temple.

Will Du: (in a mad and authorative tone) Alright, nobody move or this one eyed bitch gets it.

You two over there, by the exit out of D Block, I want you to radio a chopper fpr me and my

little hostage here. I want it to take us to the Middleton Airfield, and when we get there, there'd

better be a private jet fully fueled and ready to take us to Mexico. I also want my old job back,

with a 200% raise in my annual salary, and to be the next in the line of succession to be the

head of Global Justice. If you don't give me what I want, I'll kill the good doctor right here and

now, so don't try any funny shit, because I will kill her if you do.

It was at the same exact moment that the former agent felt a sharp pain in his gonads and

scrotum, one that had a familiar ring to it, and thusly, relinquished his hold on the gun, and

Dr. Director as well, seconds before screaming in agony, and clutching his loins in pain, which

was right after Rufus had scurried down from his pant leg.

Will Du: (while writhing in agony, in a soprano voice) SONFOABITCHMUFFTITTYBONER

BITINGCOCKSUCKINGDOGSHITTACO !

Dr. Director: (in an athorative tone of voice) Guards, take him away and detain him for inqury,

he's got some explaining to do.

G.J, Guards: (in unison whilst saluting) Yes, Ma'am!

After Will Du is carted off, she looks down at Rufus and gives him a thankful smile.

Dr. Director: Looks like I owe you big time after that. How would a big old bucket of selected

cheeses from around the world sound to you.

Rufus only scampered up onto her right shoulder and kissed her on the cheek after hearing

about his big reward.

Dr. Director: (laughing lightly after Rufus kisses her cheek) Okay, Mr. Hero, it's a deal. You

know what, Rufus, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

As the two head for the food court, we at Fan Fiction dot Net are reminded of the ending

to the cinema classic, "Casablanca". With that being said, on with the show.

Back with Kim & Ron

E.T.: Wow, that was monumentally epic.

Kim: That SO rocked live at the Budokan.

Ron: (with a small sense of pride) Well I did teach my little buddy everything he knows.

Wade: I just observed the raw footage of it, but I still don't believe it.

E.T.: Well then, I guess we can take our sweet old time getting to "The Village", especially

after witnessing that heroic little escapade from our favorite naked mole rat.

After we grabbed some grub over at the nearest Bueno Nacho, we all headed back to do some

very personal nature. There's no telling what Will Du has given away to the enemy, and we only

had so little time to prevent it. Upon arriving at "The Village",we quickly handed all the evidence

we found on Bonnie to Dr. Director, then got to the brass tacks of things by interrogating Will

Du.

Interrogation room #3, Intelligence Office, "The Village"

When we entered the room, we naturally assumed that our newest detainee would be trained

to play hardball when he was interrogated by enemy agents, that's why we called in the aid of

our resident experts on the criminal psychie, Dr. Andrew Lipsky and Ms. Sheila Gomez.

E.T.: Alright, Dookie-boy, you've got only one chance to tell us what you know, or else, I'll let

my buddies beat you so hard, that you'd think you were at Bing Crosby's house. If there's

anything left of you afterwards, we'll let the "Doctor" operate on it in a series of experiments.

The kind that P.E.T.A. forbade him to do on animals, making him use actual live humans

instead, the first being the P.E.T.A. board members themselves.

Will Du: (while facing me) What is it do you need to know? I'm an open book.

Shego: (twisting the chair that Will Du is in so he's facing her) Did you relay all the secrets

of "The Village" to the Shocker Terror Network, and if so, how much do they know?

Will Du: (while facing Shego) Actually, I haven't told them anything, and thusly, they know

nothing. Your secrets are all safe with me. I'll take them to the grave with me, yes I wll.

Shego: That was easy.

Will Du: Thank you!

E.T.: (twisting his chair back to have him facing me) Yeah, a little too easy, G.J. agents

are all trained to give their enemies false intel, and stall for time if they're ever captured.

It's so that their back up or support can complete the missions for them. Now, who had

contracted you to kill my baby broha and my broha in law, you have 3 seconds to answer,

go.

Will Du: I don't know what you're talking about, I'm innocent I tell ya', this is all just a frame-up

set up by Dr. Director. It's all because she couldn't handle the fact that I would be a better

leader for Global Justice.

Shego: (talking to me) Looks like we may have to do things the hard way, E.T., get the phone

book out.

Will Du: (having his chair turned 90 degrees to the right, then it stops) What do you mean the

hard way, and why do you have a phone book anyway?

E.T.: (slamming the phone book down on his left hand side) You know damn well what the hard

way is, you were an agent once.

Will Du: Fuck you, I ain't talking to you, or anyone else, until I get my lawyer.

Shego: Well I've got news for you, Dookie-for-brains, only minor criminals get lawyers, while

those instrumental in a plot for global genocide, get the treatment. Kimmie, Ronnie, how

would you like to help interrogate this unclefucker with us?

Ron: (while brandishing his signature butterfly knife) It'll be no big, Dragon lady.

Kim: (while brandishing her signature Baretta) Yeah, this is so not the drama.

Will Du: (while pleading to me for his very life) Hey, come on, E.T., don't let them do this.

you don't have to do this.

I merely said nothing as I layed the business end of a tenderizing mallet on to the phone book

with authority. If Will Du hadn't lost control of his bowels and bladder yet, he's gonna right now.

Will Du: (starting to panic and crack) Hey, c'mon, guys, this is how people get hurt, just stop this

crazy shit, okay. I've got my rights, you cockguzzling sadomasocistic maniacs.

E.T.: (shaking my head in false pity) You really shouldn't have called us that.

Shego: Since you still insist that you misbehave like naughty, little brat, I guess we have no

other choice but to leave you in the hands of "The Doctor".

As she points to Dr. Drakken, we see him working on some sort of strange torture device made

from ordinarily harmless household and office items. He only briefly stops to turn 180 degrees

and ask his henchwoman/friend/girlfriend/assitant/lover a very important question with all of the

utmost calm, sincere, and polite manner of a totally sane individual.

Dr. Drakken: Shego, honey, would it be too much trouble if I looked through your purse to

possibly borrow a nail file or two?

Shego: (with a warm and loving smile) It's alright, cutie, help yourself.

Dr. Drakken: (with an insane grin and matching tone of voice) Thank you!

Will Du: (looking at "The Doctor" in terror) Is he always like this?

Shego: It's funny that you should ask that, because normally he's like a big blue teddy bear

that you just can't help but cuddle with all day long. Then at night time, he likes to get his

Don Juan on with me, and I become putty in his hands. Just thinking about it makes me...

Kim & Ron: (in total unison) Head in the game, Shego!

Shego: (in an apologetic manner) Whoops, my bad, that one's on me.

E.T.: (taking over for Shego at this time) Basically, she's saying that he's not always like this,

but if some arrogant jerk-off dickhead who sold us down the river to Shocker, interupts his

alone time with his best friend/girlfriend, he starts making some gruesome looking toys to play

with, and looks for that same rat bastard so he can show him his new toy, and see if they

want to play with him as well.

After getting his fingers stuck in a mouse trap, Dr. Drakken lets out a quiet grunt of pain, then

gently removes said mouse trap, and turns to face his colleagues wearing a strange set of

doctors' head gear on his head, and a look of purely malicious insanity on his face.

Dr. Drakken: (wearing the same insane grin as when he thanked Shego) I think it's ready.

With a bout of insane laughter, Dr. Drakken had unveiled a strange torture device that he had

made himself, out of nothing but household items and office utensils. This sort of reminds me

of that one deleted scene from the Jackie Chan feature, "The Medallion", where the good guys

ar trying to pump the main baddy's right hand man for information. I wonder if this scenario is

gonna play out the same way.

Will Du: (cue the panic attack) STOP, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME. I HAVE MY RIGHTS,

THIS IS INHUMANE. YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK, DO YOU KNOW THAT? ALRIGHT, I'LL

TALK, I'LL TALK, JUST MAKE IT STOP!

Once Dr. Drakken shut off his new toy, Will Du was singing like a nightingale and he was giving

us everything. He told us that he gave the Shocker all of the secrets of "The Village" in hopes

that they'd accept him as their inside guy, and that the date he had been on was really a sort of

recruitment & enlistment interview. They let him in alright, but in order for him to become a full

fledged member of the Shocker, he had to kill of one Robert Becker, and one Tyrone Michaels.

Finally, the pieces were all starting to add up, but we had to wait for more definitive leads to this

case in order to get the full picture.

E.T.: (grinning like Ronald McDonald) Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Du, if there is any

other tidbits of actionable intel you wish to divulge to us, please do so now or else you will

be liquidated on the spot for withholding intelligence at a critical juncture.

Will Du: Yeah, they're sending some of their newest automated robot soldiers called Ritters,

along with their fully automated giant attack mech, known as the Panzer, to this very location

even as we speak. My day might be bad, but yours is about to get fucked up the ass by a

horny rottweiler in heat, and there's nothing you can do about it. They're going to turn your

precious little hideaway into a goddamned crater, and it's all thanks to Wade Load's little

Wade-bots. So prepare yourselves for the beginning of the end, because the Shocker are too

strong, and they're too powerful, to be stopped by the likes of Team Possible. Glory be unto

the Shocker, AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

As Will Du was busy laughing his head off in insanity, I picked up my trusty kendo stick, and

smashed it up side his ugly little head to conclude the interrogation. This is just one more thing

I really didn't need, but it looks like the Dai Kamikaze has to be called into action, and the mighty

Vanguards have to test their metal in battle. If Shocker wants a war, they're gonna get one, and

in the end, there can be only one victor.

First off, the author's notes clearly have none of the American sass that I've been

known to give out from time to time. The reason being is that I wish to dedicate

this chapter to the late & great Ricardo Moltoban, who breathed classy life into

all of the characters he portrayed on film, in television, or as the memorable and

unforgettable Senor Senior Sr. on the show, Kim Possible, along with several

other cartoon characters on numerous other cartoons. As for the way that I had

killed his character off, I wanted him to show all of us that even though he was a

villain, he still had a spark of goodness within him, as well as to further illustrate

just how ruthless that the Shocker Empire can really be. Now as for the way I've

ended it, I wanted to create a moment of dramatic tension for until I start writing

chapter 8, where I go off to fight the Panzer in my Dai Kamikaze. As for Team

Possible being a little out of character, well I believe that Kim & Ron had given a

pretty good explaination, because the real life criminals of today have either

become smarter, or a lot more violent, and they've also developed a kind of moral

vacuum that permits them to hurt, rape, or steal from whoever they want, without

even thinking about the consequences that they may render. They'll even go as

far as killing their victims regardless of who they might be. However, this is just

a story meant to entertain the masses, the people who read it and get a little

escape every now and then. Well, this is RiderV3Stoppable signing off for now,

but tune in next time to checkout a fresh new chapter from your's truly. As they

say in Japan, sayonara.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey again, it's me, RiderV3Stoppable here, with another thrilling chapter in our

Kamen Rider Chronicles. When we last left off, our heroes had completed their

training for small arms combat, under my direct tutelage of course. We also found

out that Shocker is on a recruitment run for the worst of the worst criminals that

the world has to offer, with only three of them having a change of heart, and only

one out of those three paying the ultimate price for it. Then we did a psych out

and interrogation on Bonnie Rockwaller, and trust me when I say this, she's about

to get her just desserts. Finally, we uncover Will Du's dark secret, his secret deal

with our enemy, the Shocker. In this next chapter, we get to see the debut of the

Dai Kamikaze in action. Also, we'll gather more dirt on Shocker, head to there

secret base of operations, infiltrate the hell outta' that shit, and then mount a daring rescue of the Midorikawa family and Hongo-hakase. So to start with, I'll

make the following disclaimer to let everyone know that I am legit. First off, I

do not own the show, Kim Possible, or any of the characters from the show.

Those are owned by Disney, Bill Kopp, Robert Schooley, and Mark McCorkle.

Secondly, I do not own Kamen Rider, or any of it's characters. Those are

owned by Adness Entertainment, Bandai Entertainment, Toei Eiga Co., the

amzaing people at ShoPro Productions, and the late great Ishinomori

Shotarou. Please support the official releases. Third and last, the Ritters,

Panzer, Vanguards, Dai Kamikaze, and all original characters belong to me.

Please ask permission from me before you use them. Well, that does it for

the review, overview, and disclaimer, as Hunter from the Warner Bros. cartoon

series, "Road Rovers", said it best himself, let's hit the road, Rovers.

_**Chapter Eight: Full metal brawl, Tatakae, Dai Kamikaze**_

After we had subdued the traitor long enough to warn Auntie Betty, we made our

way to the command deck at the main control center of "The Village" to give our

favorite cycloptic super spy the 411 on the oncoming attack. Along the way, we

all bummed a ride from Wade, who hitched a ride with a G.J. agent driving a big

ass Hummer. Fortunately, we transmitted Will Du's conffession ahead of time,

so we had the upper hand when it came to getting clearance into the command

deck. Once we got there, a guard checked us all out and gave us the okay in

15 seconds flat. Looks like our investigation of the Shocker Empire has been

preempted, on account of a full scale invasion. We all took the elevator up to

the command deck to see what was shaking and get some details from the big

Boss-lady herself.

Command Deck, Main Control Center, "The Village"

E.T.: (as everyone gets off the elevator) Yo, yo, yo, what the, what the dilly-o,

Homeskillet!

Dr. Director: (in a state of relief) E.T., I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank

God you're here.

E.T.: Now's not the time to get all religious on me, just tell me what the low down

is all about.

Dr. Director: Take a look at the main viewscreen and you'll see what we're dealing with.

As Auntie Betty had stepped aside, I see the horrors that lie in wait topside. All of my'

worst fears had come to startling reality, so I did the only thing that I could think of at

a time like this in order to maintain my own sanity.

E.T.: Raise the misenmast and sail to port at warp 10, Mr. Sulu. That man is playing

Galaga, he probably thought we wouldn't notice, but we did.

As I continue to make an ass of myself, everyone in the room started laughing their

heads off. I actually thought that they'd spew milk from their noses. To add further

comedic effect, I covered up my right eye with my hand, and look at all the different

controls.

E.T.: (after removing my hand) How do you see all of these, by the way, Auntie Betty?

Dr. Director: (looking at me incrdeulously) I tend to make a lot of turns.

E.T.: (in a faux sense of astonisment) Really, must be tiring for you.

Kim: What are those things, E.T.?

E.T.: Those are the Ritters, Shockers personal hit droids, they feel no emotion or pain,

and apparently, they're coming right at us. Somehow, Will Du had the early detection

warning sensors shutdown, and it permitted the Ritters an oppurtunity to lay down the

first wave of the assault.

G.J. Technical Officer: Well, while you were away, Sir, he managed to sneak into

the security control room and must have pulled the switch on it.

E.T.: Did you manage to record the event?

G.J.T.O.: Yes, sir, but so far, we've all been lucky with the line of sight cameras picking

it up, Sir.

Ron: They look almost exactly like Wade-bots.

E.T.: That's because they were based off of the shanghaied specs of the original Wade-bots.

Dr. Director: Can you activate the auto-defense array?

G.J.T.O.: Negative, it's not only been shutdown from the security room, but it's remote

activation program has been disabled as well.

E.T.: I've just had an idea, it might sound crazy, but it might just buy us some time to get

the automated defense array working again.

Dr. Director: We're all ears, E.T., what do you have in mind?

E.T.: Dr. Director, I want you to send out as many Vanguards as you can to meet the Ritters,

and have them hold those clunkers off, meanwhile, Dr. Drakken, You and Wade work on

getting the defense array up and running. In the meantime, I'll take the Dai Kamikaze and do

a recon of the area, to see if there are no other threats. Kim & Ron, you and the others get

all civilian personnel to the emergency shelters.

Dr. Director: Consider it as good as done, Agent Becker. Alright, people, you heard the man,

let's get to it.

As I head for the emergency chute that leads to the Dai Kamikaze, the others scramble into

emergency protocols and begin a desperate battle for survival.

At Emergency Shelter A, "The Village"

Kim: Shego, did you manage to coral all the civilians into the shelter?

Shego: Civilians all secured and accounted for, Princess, what about those military honchos

and political big wigs?

Ron: They've all been rounded up into their respective shelters, just in case there might be a

cause for an international incident.

Kim: Then that means that's the last of them. Let's head back to the command deck.

The three friends all gave a small nod to one another in knowing that their part of the job is

done. Meanwhile, let's check and see what Wade & Dr. Drakken have to work with.

Automated Defense Array control room, "The Village"

Wade: It's a good thing E.T. designed an alternate manual activation system for the defense

array. The only downside to it is that it takes at least two people to operate it.

Dr. Drakken: (cracking his knuckles) Well, let's get to work, this array won't jump start itself,

you know.

While the two former rival geniuses went to work on the array, Dr. Director launched a full

scale army of Vanguards to fend off the Ritters.

Topside of "The Village"

The Vanguards had met the enemy head on, and within merely a few minutes, began to

take the upperhand. Due to their advanced construction, and their A.I. systems, the

Vanguards were far superior to the Ritters, and thusly, proved to be too much for the bogus

Wade-bot knock-offs. The battlefield became littered with pieces of Ritters all around, but

the Ritters had at least one advantage that the Vanguards didn't have, and that's their self

destruct feature. However, the Ritters' tactic of taking the Vanguards out in their kamikaze

explosions proved to be a temporary solution, because the Vanguards had a self repair feature

on them, that repaired any and all damages that they suffered. Looks like the balls in our court.

At the Command Deck

Dr. Director: Tech officer, remind me to give E.T. and Drakken a raise.

G.J.T.O. Yes, ma'am!

Dr. Director: (after hailing the defense array control room) Wade, did you guys get the defense

array up and running?

At the same time, in the Defense Array Control Room

Wade: (answering into the audio/video intercom) It wasn't easy, but me and Dr. Drakken had

pulled it off. In all humble honesty, he's actually a handy guy to have around, vines and all.

Back at the Command Deck

Dr. Roger that, looks like there's a second volley of those Ritter rats, but now they've become

a moot point, so you can come on back to the Command Deck.

Once Wade and Dr. Drakken had left for the Command Deck, the Automated Defense Array

had fully started up and blasted the second wave of Ritters, all this before the Ritters could

even get within range of "The Village". But just then, a big, hulking, humanoid mech had

stomped into sight, and nearly layed waste to the defense array.

The Dai Kamikaze Launch Bay, "The Village"

It's a good thing that I hurried with donning my suit and everything, or else there wouldn't be

much of a safe haven to protect. As I entered the cockpit of the Dai Kamikaze, I submitted

the retinal and DNA scan, and then I gave the voice recognition and password code.

E.T.: Computer, voice code, Edward Thurston Becker, password is "I Love Robots", verify

Dai Kamikaze's computer: Welcome back, E.T., it's good to see you again. What is the nature

of the mission.

E.T.: It's good to see you to big buddy. As for the mission, we've gotta go out and defend "The

Village. There's this robot that the Shocker had sent out, called the Panzer, and it almost broke

through the defense array.

D.K.C.: Say no more, let's just get the clearance for launch so we could settle the score with this

Panzer pansy.

E.T.: My thoughts exactly, Auntie Betty, I'm gonna need clearance to launch, please verify.

Back at the Command Deck

Dr. Director: I hear you, E.T., begin final check and prepare for launch.

Back in the cockpit of the Dai Kamikaze, I ran the final checks of the systems and payloads.

All of which were full to the brim and green to go. I gave Auntie Betty the thumbs up signal

to let her know that all was ready to go. She then gave me the go ahead for Operation: Big Ass

Robot.

Dr. Director: (via intercom) Dai Kamikaze final clearance for the mission, mission approved, you

are cleared for launch.

E.T.: As the say in Japan, "yoshi, omae no hohoemu, ore ga tomete yaru zo." (I'm gonna end

your laughter, yes I will.)

The Dai Kamikaze had closed it's cockpit and launched up into the sky, like a bat outta hell in

the combined speed of light and sound, then flew straight above the trouble site and began it's

descent. I switched the jump jets on and landed him softly on the ground. I hope I remembered

to wear clean underpants for this brawl, because it's gonna be one messy battle.

E.T.: Woah, now that's one ugly Neo-Nazi mech motherfucker.

The on-board computer: I know, how do we rectify this problem, E.T.?

E.T.: (while I grab onto the controls) The answer: Turn 'im into scrap metal.

I make the Dai Kamikaze grab it's Photon Buster Rifle and fire off a few rounds at the Panzer,

knocking it flat on it's back while I stood between "The Village" and that useless pile of scrap.

Then, it got back up and ran towards my robot, tackled it, and nearly knocked it off balance.

But it only knocked my first weapon out, so I had the Dai Kamikaze grapple his arms, and I

let loose a volley of head and shoulder mounted Vulcan Cannon fire in order to confuse it.

Then, once the Panzer was reeling from that counter attack, I used the Dai Kamikaze to kick

it off, and went at that butt ugly bot at full speed whilst drawing the Plasma Katana. The slag

heap known as the Panzer fired a volley of missiles from missile pods hidden within it's arms

and upper torso, but the Dai Kamikaze cut each of the missiles in half, making them explode

prematurely in a harmless fashion. This battle is looking good and all, but it's far from over.

At the same time, in the Command Deck, "The Village"

Everyone in the Command Deck watched completely rapt by the impressive showing that I

had made in my mech piloting skills. Eat your emo technophile heart out, Amuro Rey.

Kim: (while watching the battle on the viewscreen) Is it me, or does E.T. sport some totally

hurricane rock mech skills that we don't know about?

Ron: I know what you mean, Kim. He must have logged on about over 400,000 hours on

Virtua On Cyber Troopers, and learned some of those moves from Bushido Blade. I wonder

how he got those games?

At that moment, everyone in my little group had looked at auntie Betty with a look of total

suspicion.

Dr. Director: (wearing a look of sarcasm) Oh sure, blame his adoptive aunt why don't you.

You buy a couple video games that he thoroughly enjoys for his 12th birthday, and he

thinks he's the main hero of the very first manga series he's ever made.

Back at the battle

After deflecting the latest attack, the Panzer and I had entered into a Japanese stand off,

neither of us moving for what seemed like hours, when all of a sudden, that tin plated mess

of metal lobbed some flashbang grenades at me. While I was blinded, the Panzer circled

around to my left side, then rushed me with a big metal fist to my bot's cranial block. The

early warning sensors alerted me before his attack could connect, and through using my

Dai Kamikaze's free hand, I caught it's fist in mid strike, then cut off the arm it was connected

to with the Plasma Katana. Right then and there, it produced a shoulder mounted charged

particle beam cannon from it's weapon pack. He had me locked in his sights, and took aim

to try and end me way before my prime. But what he didn't know was that I trained myself

by playing Virtua On Cyber Troopers non-stop for 3 weeks straight while watching nothing

but Mobile Suit Gundam: 08th M.S. Team religiously. I closed my eyes and began to pray

that what I had up my sleeve would work. I was praying to God, Yaweh, Allah, and last but

not least, the heavenly Buddah to give me the juegos to pull off what could be the ultimate

mech piloting maneuver in the history of mecha battles. Just then, as the Panzer's weapon

was charging up, the heavens opened up to reveal my idea of heaven, all of the Gundams,

Mazinger robots, Combattler V, Voltes V, Danguard Ace, Reideen, all of the Autobots, and

a host of other Super Robots exclusive to Japan, had shed their metal tears upon me in a

manly show of full metal divinity. This is it, Dad, ore wa shinwa ni nare. (I'm becoming the

legend.) As the Panzer fired his kill shot at me, I activated my jump jets and held my trusty

Plasma Katana, no, my Seigi no tsurugi, (Sword of Justice,) high above my head, and as he

he prepared to fire another shot, I turned the jump jets off and hurtled towards him. As I did,

I then drove the blade into his robotic skull, putting into it all of my love, my anger, and all of

my sorrow, in a deadly and lethal overhead slash attack known as the Tetsukiri, (Iron Cutter,)

thusly slaying the metal demon once and for all. With all of the enemy forces either decimated

or retreating, the Dai Kamikaze & I looked upon the halved metal carcass of our foe with a state

of justified satisfaction, but only for one last time before we returned to base.

Inside the Dai Kamikaze's cockpit

E.T.: D.K., let everyone in the Command Deck know that we can go off red alert, at least for the

time being. The threat has been neutralized with extreme prejudice.

On-board Computer: Understood, E.T., let's start heading back to base, I believe there is some

data that wishes to share with you, along with a show of congratulations on your

stunning victory.

E.T.: Well what are we waiting for, let's get going.

Back at the Command Deck, "The Village"

After I get the Dai Kamikaze back to Dry Dock, I make my way to the Command Deck to get

debriefed on the entire situation at hand, and share the intel with Team Possible, then begin

the planning stages of the big rescue. Once I get there, I begin my usual routine for when I

enter the Command Deck.

E.T.: (while I'm pointing to the same G.J. agent that was slacking off before) That man is still

playing Galaga, still doesn't think we noticed, but we did again.

Random G.J. Agent: Oh come on, how did you know?

E.T.: Don't worry, I also know that you stopped to watch the floor show. Anyway, Dear Auntie

Betty, you have business for us.

Dr. Director: Tell us something we didn't know.

E.T.: When I was a boy, I accidentally open mouth kissed the family dog once.

Everyone else: (in stunned unison) WHAT?!

E.T.: That was something you didn't know, oh, and by the way, jinx, you owe me a vacation

after this is over.

Dr. Director: (visibly trying to hide her anger) Let's just get to the business at hand, shall we?

First off, your Gustav Mankenheimer was the colonel who was in charge of the Auschewitz

concentration camp back in W.W. #2, and the only one who foiled all of his plans to help

further Adolf Hitler's goals for genocide and global conquest, waas none other than a single

prisoner by the name of, "Captain Don Stoppable".

Kim: Now that's the biggest W.T.F. moment I've ever heard of, Ron, why didn't you tell me

about that?

Ron: Because we Stoppables have had a bone to grind with the Mankenhaimers ever since

World War 2, where Gustav Mankenheimer, a former trusted friend of our family, had killed,

raped, mutilated, and butchered all of our relatives and friends. This was after he had been

seduced by the Nazis with the promise of power.

After he had said that, we all saw Ron's hands clench into fists of rage, but they soon relaxed

after Kim drew him in for a hug, never thinking about letting go of him. The only thing she was

most concerned about was comforting Ron.

Kim: It's going to be okay, Ron, we'll get through this, and take the whole Mankenheimer

legacy together.

Dr. Director: We'll also be with you every step of the way, this we promise. As for what the

traitor formerly known as Agent William Khan Du, because of his gross treachery, we at the

G.J. organization will handle him our own way, through permanent imprisonment. Of this, we

also promise.

Kim: So what other tidbits do you have for us, Dr. Director?

Dr. Director: This is about Senor Senior Jr. and Duff Killigan, apparently something or someone

has them so shaken up, that they're willing to come to us for a change. Though the two of them

haven't committed any crimes so far, they do claim to be witnesses to one, and have enough

intel for us to act upon. Then there's the case of Professor Takeshi Hongo. He was last seen

on Bruce's Run Road heading into the Kalish Tunnel, the only thing is, he never came out. The

local P.D. had investigated te area, and came up with nothing but his abandoned motorcycle,

and peculiar dents in the tunnel's walls.

Ron: Those could be possible signs of a struggle during a kidnapping.

Everyone looked at Ron in the most curious manner. The goofball that saved the world had

started to make more sense ever since this whole ordeal began. Must have been something

in his coffee.

Ron: (wearing a sheepish grin while rubbing the back of his head) I watch a lot of old school

cop shows on the T.V. Trash Heap.

Dr. Director: Look, you three have a mission as of now. The first objective is to find Duff & Jr.,

then bring them here to gently prod what they know out of them, this means you'll have to use

kid gloves this time around. The second objective is to go to the headquarters of the Shocker

Empire and rescue the hostages, the doctor, and your college professor friend. But before you

go out, I'd like to give Agent Becker a promotion.

E.T.: Sure thing, Auntie Betty, what kind of promotion did you have in mind?

Dr. Director: In light of your meritorious service above and beyond the call of duty, it's with

great pleasure that I, Dr. Elizabeth Director, promote you to the status of field agent.

Auntie Betty then hands me a brand spanking new badge that has my name and the title of field agent underneath it. My eyes start to well up with manly tears of pride and accomplishment. I

know I swore to myself that I wouldn't cry, but I couldn't help but feel verklempt. Talk amongst

yourselves, I'll even give you a subject. Sentinel103's Once Again series and story arc is one of

the absolute best in K.P. fan fiction history. If you don't believe me, then you should read it for

yourselves. We now continue with our regularly scheduled fan fiction, thank you.

E.T.:(yep, I'm still verklempt) I'mma do you proud, Auntie Betty, you can take that to the bank.

Kim: I guess this means you're moving up in the world, cause if it does, we need your head in

the game to pull off an upset against the Shocker.

Ron: Kim's right about that, we need you to think of a way to keep the Shocker busy while we

complete our mission objectives.

E.T.: (I stop crying just in time) In all my years as a kendo champion, I've learned that the true

battle is fought from within, and against your own self in a never ending quest to improve one's

self. The real way to defeat our enemy is to throw a pile of chaos onto their heavily regimented

and conformist organization, and then, keep heaping on the chaos until they break, thusly doing

something that would foolishly endanger all of their plans. While they're busy trying to repair the

damage done to the S.P.C.'s public image, we'll get the voluntary witnesses, and after that, we

mount the rescue at Shocker central. We start with a global mass multi-media assault by giving

every radio, T.V., printed, and internet news affiliation the whole lowdown on what the Shocker's

doing, who they are, what they are, and what they fight for. Then, we'll have all the worldwide

G.J. offices bring in anyone who's accused of being part of the Shocker Empire. Finally, we

infiltrate their main international headquarters under cover of night, and get all the hostages out

of there. This is what's known as "The Michael Bay Exposure". I am going to need the help of

G.J. to get it done.

Dr. Director: Basically, what you're saying is that we go public with the Shocker Empire and

all of their plans while you three play the heroes again? This could end up becoming a Third

World War with what seems to be no possible end in sight.

Kim: Wait a minute, that may just work to our favor all around. If the entire world learns of

what's really going down with the S.P.C., then it would rally the entire globe to fight this out

with us, and allow the U.N. Defense forces to come to our aid. It will also expose all of the

wolves from the Shocker hiding in foreign dignitaries' clothing, and bring all of the agencies

attached to gathering intelligence and enforcing the law into one cohesive whole.

Ron: Not to mention, if the Shockers are exposed, they'll lose all of their corporate assets,

as well as lose their public image. After the massive landslide of investigations and news

expose' footage, the S.P.C. will be belly up. They'll lose all of their corporate funding,

government connections, and all around entitlement all over the world. They could lose

all the power they've gained over the years and then be unable to bribe anybody into bailing

them out.

E.T.: (while impersonating Kanye West) Yeah, and the Shocker don't care about black people.

Dr. Director: (stroking her chin in an introspective fashion) Hmm...all of the world's military and

law enforcement organizations working for us for a change? I like it, in fact, I'm happy to be a

part of this plan. So what do we call this plan of your's that's crazy enough to just might work?

E.T.: Operation: Dog Bath! I mean, the Mankeys are nothing but a bunch of dirty dogs, and

what are you supposed to do with a dirty dog? I'll tell you, you simply give it a bath. Since

these Shocker lamebrains want to try to white wash the entire world, let's return the favor.

Kim: Well what are we waiting for, let's give Shocker it's just desserts.

While Dr. Director handed us all the intel of the Shocker headquarters, she instructed all of her

agents to implement Operation: Dog Bath, to make Shocker think twice about messing with all

of us. Let's see how they like being in a media avalanche while getting the old police action

snow job. Soon, news outlets all around the globe broke the story of the Shocker scandal, and

there was a massive outcry to the United Nations to do something about it. Once the people

at the law enforcement and intelligence agencies had heard about it, they called for military and

public support in investigating each and every subsidiary still in the employ of the Shocker

Products Corporation. This time around, the Josh Mankey incident seemed like yesterday's

news to the people of the world, and the further refusal to cooperate from the S.P.C. had hurt the beleagered company so bad, that the subsidiaries they had left had bought back they're own

companies at practically one red cent and focused on cleaning their own public images. That,

however, proved too little too late, because no matter what any of them tried, they still ended up

filing for bankruptcy, or closing up shop. The Wall Street Stock Exchange soon closed at an all

low with numbers reaching into an abysmal 0 points for each of the Mankey family subsidiary

companies. One of the families most affected by this was the Rockwaller family, and they were

none too happy about it.

Rockwaller estate, Middleton

Veronica: (weeping her eyes out) Why, Bonnie, why? Why did you sell us out? Lonnie & Connie were right about you, you'll never be a true Shocker Agent. You've brought nothing but shame & misery onto our happy home. I should've aborted you, I should've never had you. As of now, you will forever be dead to us.

As Veronica Rockwaller continued her sobbing, her husband, Philip, had entered the room with a bunch of suitcases and emergency airline tickets to Mexico. Apparently, Mrs. Rockwaller had

been watching the news as well, but Mr. Rockwaller's response to this situation was out of fear of a bloodthirsty mob of angry Middleton residents who wanted to finish off the entire Rockwaller

family.

Philip: (picking his wife up after she fell to her knees) Come on, Ronnie, let's get out of the damn country while we still can, we can start new lives in Mexico and never look back. Besides, it's looking like Team Possible and their friends in Global Justice have the upper hand.

Veronica: But what about the only two daughters we still have left?

Philip: They've failed us just like Bonnie did, so as of now, we have no daughters anymore. We're just going to have to forget them, now let's move before the lynch mob comes after us.

After that, they made a beeline for the garage, got into their car, and drove to the Middleton

International Airport. That's what's going down with the Rockwaller bunch, now let's take

a gander at the Mankey Family.

At the same time in the Mankey mansion

Angela Mankey: (in disbelief after watching the news) I don't believe it, they're actually building

up factual propaganda, and it's working. What do we do now, Burton?

Burton: Well, our enemies have won this round, but they shall not win the war. We'll get our

best spin teams on this, and have them work around the clock to turn this to our favor. There is

one bit of good news in this, while we distracted Global Justice with that mechanized assault,

they left key financial institutions unguarded, and we installed a computer virus into all of their

mainframes. This virus will transfer all of the money in the world into our account. It's timed to

activate in less than three hours from now, and once it does, the world will bend to our will.

Congratulations, Team Possible, you've stopped nothing.

Random Shocker Grunt: Ah, Sir, this just came into the mail for you, and it's addressed from

an E.T. Becker. It's about the bank break-ins and your computerized fleecing of the mindless

zionist sheep.

Burton: What, let me read that.

As the grunt handed the letter to Burton, the self proclaimed emperor of the world started to

read it for himself. After reading only the first paragraph, his face contorted from sheer delight

to unbrideled rage.

Burton: (reading the letter out loud) Dear, Mr. Neo-Facist Asshole, we regret to inform you

that all of the bank jobs that your men have attempted were thwarted well before they were

ever put into action. You see, a worldwide militia comprising of ordinary citizens, nilitary

personnel, law enforcement agents, and peace officers had successfully intercepted your

forces before they reported it to Global Justice. Your hold on the corporate world, as well as

the political and the military worlds has ended, and the people of the world will no longer listen

to you as you and your shitheaded relatives continue to bray at all hours of the day, only to

make bigger jackasses of yourselves. I hope you guys have a family sized tub of anal lube,

and a shitload of K.Y. lubricant, because when we're done with you, you won't shit right for

half of a century. When your junky jalopies attacked "The Village", you made an open and

clear cut declaration of war against the good people of the world, so prepare yourselves for

a World War where all people are truly sisters and brothers, because it's on. Yours truly,

E.T. Becker. P.S.: Your men were captured before the virus could ever be installed.

Alek: Oh no, Daddy's plan B had fizzled.

Angela: Is there some other way to off set this?

Burton: (visibly angry but makes an effort to maintain composure) There is just no way out

of this, except Plan C of the three contingancy plans. We threaten to destroy the earth with

everyone on it, everyone except for us, that is, unless the world transfers all of it's funds into

the Mankey family account. After they capitulate, we will force them to enter the airships

that we've designed and built from scratch. Once they're inside, we can make them all slaves

and do what we want to them. Then no one will ever stand in our way again. Now if all of you

would kindly leave the room for a few moments, I'd be very much obliged, as I'm still seething

with rage over tonight's developments.

Everybody except Burton Mankey had left the room for fear of what he might do to them if they

didn't. Once he was the only one in the living room, he let loose the loudest expletive ever

uttered in the history of profanity.

Burton: (building up for the loudest F-Bomb ever shouted out) F...

Outside the Mankey mansion, I was listening in on the family's entire conversation with a

supersonic listening device. I was well hidden within the shadows, and when I saw all the other

people in the living room leave, I wisely turned off the device. What I heard next would make

even the late great Sam Kinison blush like a little school girl, as the great Emperor Draculoid

had let out the F-Bomb heard round the world. That's what you get for messing with my friends,

now it's your move, you Neo-Facist son of a bitch.

The next day, at Middleton Park

Senor Senior Jr. and Duff Killigan were contacted by us to meet with Team Possible and myself

to be escorted to "The Village". Once the duo found the designated rendeveaux point, they had

waited for only a few moments until we came by.

E.T.: Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be Senor Senior Jr. and Duff Killigan by any

chance?

S.S.J.: Yes, we are, and I see you brought Team Possible with you. I'm so very glad you came.

Duff: Just who are ye', laddie, are ye' with Global Justice by any chance?

E.T.: Yes I am, the name is Agent Edward Thurston Becker Esquire the first, but yins can call

me E.T., which also means extra trouble, and coincidently, also what I've become to the forces

of the Shocker.

Kim: You guys said when you contacted us that you have some intel for us.

S.S.J.: Yes, Senora Possible, but not here, "They" could be watching, listening in on us.

Ron: Okay, how's about this, I know a nice, safe, and swanky little restaurant that has quite a

few private dining booths inside. Maybe you could tell us there.

Duff: As long as we nae' be anywhere near "Them", I'm game.

Kim: Great, let's get going, because they could be here at any moment.

E.T.: (while pointing to a squad of grown men wearing skeleton themed spandex suits) Too late!

As the Shocker Grunts let out their ear curdling shrill screams of battle, the park goers ran for

cover to alert the local militia. That left only us to fight them off.

Kim: Alright, new plan, E.T., Ron, you're with me. The rest of you get to the S.A.D.I.E. on the

double.

Duff: Lassie, ye' do nae' 'ave t' tell us twice, c'mon, Jr., we gotta beat feet.

As Duff and Jr. headed to the S.A.D.I.E., Kim, Ron, & I rushed the Shocker Grunts one by one.

Kim took out two at the same time with a back flip split kick, landing on with her palms on the

ground, and her feet in the air. She then performed a hurricaranna on another, kicked herself

up onto her feet, then took out two more with a sweep kick into a jumping roundhouse kick.

Finally, another Shocker Grunt tried to go into a fistfight with the red headed teen heroine, only

to have her block all of his blows, then counter with a couple ax hand chops to his clavicle, a

double hammer fist to his head, a ridge hand chop to his kneck, and to finish it off, a high split

kick right into his chin. Ron, on the other hand, did a jumping split kick on two of the Shocker

Grunts, and a double thrust kick on a third as he landed onto the ground. Four more had then

surrounded him on all sides. One of them rushed at him with a left jab, but Ron caught hold of

his fist, then knocked him down onto a bended knee position, and performed a wrist chuck kick

on him, kicking him in the face, then looping the leg around the grunt's arm, hitting his ribs at the

end. Then, Ron used his leverage to flip the Shocker Grunt onto his back. Another tried to take

him down with a bear hug into a tackle, but Ron had anticipated it, and struck first with a back

kick to his balls, and a pivoting whirlwind kick to the face. Once the Grunt was reeling from the

attack, Ron grabbed his head, sinched him up, and did a Northern Lights Suplex on him, and

rolls onto his feet again. The last two decide to double team him, but as they got close enough

to grab hin, Ron executed a perfect Jean-Claude Van Damme leg split, punched both grunts in

the juegos, and finished them off with a two sided rising uppercut to the jaws, knocking both

of them out. As for me, I had to take on three at once, so I went into a Miyagi Do kata, trying

to catch one of them of guard, and needless to say, they started laughing like a bunch of wild

hyenas. As they were busy laughing, I ended up kicking the one in the middle right square in

his grapes, then I gave him a K.O. with a knife edge chop to his skull. Another, came at me

with a series of kicks, but I swayed and sidestepped them to avoid all of the attacks, and let

loose the mother of all drum punches, then another, and another, until he fell down unconcious.

The third one then attacked randomly, but I deflected and blocked all of the blows. Sand the

floor, paint the fence, side to side, even wax-on-wax-off, all of these skills came in handy, and

while he was busy catching his breath from attacking wildly, I gave him the old front kick to the

gut. He went down alright, but got back up again, so I decided to enter into the crane stance.

While he thought I would leave myself open to a leg sweep, I jumped up and performed the

famous Crane Kick, all while he tried to sweep my leg. The force of the Crane kick must have

knocked him out, cause he was stonecold unconcious. After the battle, the three of us had

gathered them up and tied them to each other to make sure they wouldn't escape when the

militia came around.

Kim: Spandex, really, for a Neo Nazi terrorist organization that disguised themselves as a

legitimate corporation that used to control the entire world, these guys have a gorchy sense

of fashion.

Ron: I blame their recent economic collapse for this faux pas.

E.T.: (while putting a cigarette in my mouth) Tell me about it, the only thing they've got going

for them is that they're persistent.

Just as I was about to light up my cigarette, Kim takes it out of my mouth, and breaks it in

half, then points to a sign that says "NO SMOKING IN THIS SECTION OF THE PARK, PLEASE

FIND THE NEAREST DESIGNATED SMOKING AREA. THANK YOU!"

E.T.: Whoa, thanks for the heads up, K.P., I almost didn't see it, what with me pwning three of

these Dum-dums here.

Kim: That's okay, E.T., me an Ron had our hands tied with thirteen of them.

Ron: Don't look now, but here comes the militia, let's get out of here before they start asking

questions.

At that moment, we all made our way back to S.A.D.I.E. before we were spotted by the militia.

Then we had S.A.D.I.E. drive all five of us to the Chez L'Amour quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Chez L'Amour, Downtown Middleton

Once we all took our booth, we started off with some drinks, and then we got to the skinny of

the former villains' situation while we waited for the menus. What they had to tell us was just

enough to give even Freddy Krueger nightmares for the rest of his afterlife. Duff and Jr. told us

that the remaining members of the Consortium of Crime, Jack Hench, and even The Worldwide

Empire of Evil had all joined forces with the insane megalomaniac, and that he even murdered

poor Senor Senior Sr. in cold blood when he refused to go along with their plans. They even

told us about the disasterous side effect of the Drilling Nuke, how it would turn the earth into

an uninhabitable wasteland with so much fall out, that it would take thousands of years for it

to dissipate. Plus, any kind of water would be totally undrinkable because it would become the

byproduct of acid rain clouds. I decided to review the essay about how extreme amounts of

radiation would effect volcanic eruptions as written by Senor Senior Sr. way back in his days

at the University of Madrid, using my BeckerCom to find and translate the digital copy.

S.S.J.: So, Ronaldo, you brought Kim here for a date or something?

Ron: Yes, it was on her big eighteenth birthday, that was the one of the best nights of my

entire life. The first being junior prom of course.

S.S.J.: Then what my father said about that animology test was true, it was all a pile of merde.

You're a good man, Ronaldo, and if anyone deserves the right to date the blue fox herself, then

I'm just glad it's you. Su es mi hermano, miho. (You're my brother, partner.)

Ron: Thanks, I don't know what to say, Jr., but thanks.

Duff: So, is the lass a goer?

Ron: (does a spit take right then and there) WHAT?

Duff: Is she a goer? Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

Ron: (with a slight hint of rage) Just what are you getting at?

Duff: Did ye' trim the greens, Lad, ye' know, did ye' replace the divot, put the flag in the hole,

that sort of thing.

E.T.: Duff, you're talking to a guy who's watched the Monty Python show and Happy Gilmore

religiously as a little boy. Right now, if you don't want him to go all Bobby Bouche' on you,

I'd quit while I'm ahead if I were you.

Duff Killigan then looked into the eyes of Ron Stoppable and saw something peculiar about

them. They had actually glowing blue, as if some supernatural force had possessed him.

It was at that moment that he quickly apologized for what was said and how he behaved.

Duff: (terrified beyond belief) I'm sorry, Ronnie ol' boy, I be just having a little fun with ya',

and I guess I may have gone a little too far into the water hazard for comfort.

Ron: (his eyes going back to normal) Well, it's no big really, just don't let it happen again.

Kim: So did you manage to confirm what they said about the underground nuke yet, E.T.?

E.T.: Actually, I have, and based on the essay written by the late Senor Senior Sr., and the

accompanying computer simulation from my BeckerCom, I'd say that our friends aren't too

far off with what will happen to the earth if Shocker carries out their plan. There's a 99.9%

chance of a planetary nuclear fallout turning our planet into an arrid and radioactive desolate

wasteland with the only water source coming from the acid rain itself. Of course, these

calculations do have a 0.1% margin of error.

Ron: Lemme guess, you're uploading your findings to Global Justice's mainframe as we speak?

E.T.: Do rattlesnakes kiss carefully?

Ron: Good, I thought so, and you did file a report on the incident at the park?

E.T.: Already done it via E-mail. I was just too quick for the Shocker.

Ron: Good, I thought so. Now who's hungry, because I'm buying.

After dinner, we decided to head back to "The Village" with our star witnesses riding in the

back with me, oddly enough, Jr. was the one who paid for all of our meals, seeing as he's

thankful to us for saving his life. He literally offered to pay it himself. As the great Mel Brooks

would say, "what a mench".

On the way to "The Village"

Duff: So lemme get it through me' thick skull, you started out as the hacker known as "Shadow

Warrior", and G.J. discovered ye' talents for hacking and inventing when ye' were a wee laddie,

and now ye're a field agent with his own giant robot, free reign t' hack into computers around th'

world, and on a personal quest t' avenge ye' father's death.

E.T.: That's my life story in a nutshell.

Jr.: I too lost my father to that bastardo Burton Mankey, if I had at least half of your smarts,

Essey, I'd want to go after the aratta myself.

E.T.: (I'm so feeling a sense of empathy towards Jr. right about now) Thanks, I knew you'd

understand what it's like not having a father, especially with all that happened. Don't worry,

by the time we're done, Shocker will be paying out the ass for all they've done to the people

of the world.

The drive back to "The Village" was a quiet one with no hiccups along the road. When we arrive

at the main gate, the guards let us in almost instantly. All they really do to us is let us know

that Auntie Betty needs to see us for a few minutes. Something does not bode well in the state

of Denmark, I just know it. After we get to the Command Deck of "The Village", we all met up

with the boss lady to see just what's shaking in my personal fortress/home away from home.

The Command Deck, "The Village"

E.T.: How's it going, Secret Agent Dudette?

Dr. Director: Ah, Agent Becker, thank goodness you're here, and I see you and Team Possible

have completed the first objective of your mission. Welcome, gentlemen, to the city that our

own tech guru had built, the underground city/safe haven simply known as "The Village". We

cannot express in words the sheer magnitude of how grateful we are to hear that you're giving

testimony against the Shocker. If you need anything, just let us know, and we will meet it to

your satisfaction.

Duff: Thank ye' kindly, ma'am.

S.S.J.: Si, mucho gracias, Senora Director.

Kim: You said you needed to talk with us, Dr. Director. What is it about?

Ron: Yeah, Betty, is it something serious that we need to know about?

Just then, Wade had came in to set this bag of snakes down and lay them out straight.

Wade: It's about the evidence on Bonnie Rockwaller, apparently the voodoo chips and the

remains of the global controller device were all made by Dr. Bortel, and we have traced the

serial numbers back to him and the manufacturer at S.P.C. headquarters up in Denver,

Colorado. Everything that E,T, has said about them is 100% true and concurrent. So now

all we need is for you to rescue the hostages.

Dr. Director: Thank you, Wade, I'll take it from here. To prevent the effects of these chips

taking hold of your brain, Wade and Dr. Drakken had made these.

Dr. Director had then turned our attention to three strange devices that looked like Bluetooth

ear buds.

Wade: These are special devices that negate the effects of the Voodoo chips and scramble

the signals from the Pan Global Controller. They send a unique signal into the brain through

the auditory nerve, one that cancels out the signal of the Voodoo chip, and renders it useless.

They also double as a three way communicator and G.P.S. transponder, and it's communicator

function operates on a secure frequnecy that not even Shocker can break into.

E.T.: Wade, you and Dr. Drakken have really outdone yourselves on this one. Keep up the

good work.

Ron: So, how do you want us to go at the spanking rescue and extraction of the hostages, Kim?

Kim: Well according to the files on the S.P.C. headquarters, the east, north, and south entry

points are heavily guarded with a sleu of armed Shocker-bots, while the west is guarded by a

few Shocker Grunts. Unfortunately, they have a clear access to the emergency alarm system

that the head honchos put up. If we just roll up to the west gate, we'll easily be overpowered

and captured. Our best bet is to do an air drop just a few meters away from the west gate, and

take their attention off of it before we get a clear chance to storm the compound.

E.T.: ( my eyes bug out at that point) Ex-squeeze me, uh baking powder, did I hear correctly

or did you just say that we had to parachute into the compound?

Ron: Yeah, she did, and you definately heard correctly. No sweat, Broha, me and Kim had

done it millions of times. You're in good hands with us.

E.T.: (suddenly I find myself feeling queesy) Is it safe?

Kim: Only as long as you do as we say.

E.T.: Good, while you two make up a list of instructions, I'll go get myself some liquid courage

in a bottle.

Dr. Director: Sorry, but that's out of the question, we need you sober and ready to jump, so don't

give me any lip, nephew, or you can kiss your get out of jail free card for computer hacking.

E.T.: Fine, but I'm not jumping outta any plane.

Dr. Director: (starting to sound like a drill sargeant) Oh, you'll jump outta the plane and like it,

Yardbird.

E.T.: (while cross armed and shaking my head) No way, no how, I'm not jumping outta the

plane. There's no way you're gonna make me jump outta the plane.

On the plane going to Denver, Colorado

E.T.: (looking like I lost a bet) Oh shit, I don't know how she did it, but she did it.

Ron: Simple, Betty just bribed you with a lifetime subscription to Game Informer, and hooked

you up with a 70" plasma screen T.V. with H.D., Netflix, and 3D, along with a free lifetime

Gold Package from Direct T.V., and snagged you a free lifetime subscription to Game Fly.

E.T.: Oh yeah, I curse the otaku in me.

Kim: Don't worry, it's just like a walk in the park, all you have to do is walk out, fall for a little bit,

and yank the cord to pop your chute when I say so.

Ron: In other words follow her lead, and you'll survive.

E.T.: If I die before we land, tell Auntie Betty to take this job and shove it, because I'm getting

too old for this shit.

Kim: By the way, Major Grand Awesome, thanks for flying us in for this part of the mission.

Mjr. Grand: Anytime, Ms. Possible, besides, I've got a big ol' bone to pick with these here

Shocker fellows. They done killed my brother because he wouldn't sell his air field to them.

He had himself a nice little company for both, teaching people how to fly a plane, and taking

tourists on sightseeing tours of Omaha, Nebraska. If it weren't for you kids, they would've

gotten away with it too.

Ron: How far up are we?

Mjr. Grand: According to the instruments, we're about 30,000 feet in the air.

E.T.: Excuse me, Major, Sir, but whatever happened to your brother's air field?

Mjr. Grand: I ended up inheriting it, but before I could even claim it, that no-good polecat,

Burton Mankey trashed it all to hell and back. The whole goddamned place was irrepairible,

and all the planes there were permanently grounded on account it would've took billions in

repair costs just to fix the field and the planes up. So I ended up selling it to him for practically

pennies.

E.T.: The same exact thing happened to me, my dad, and his trucking company. Are we near

the drop zone yet?

Mjr. Grand: Just about, which means you three better get ready to jump.

Kim: Alright, remember to watch your gauges, guys, and to pop the chute at 10,000 feet. Any

earlier, and you'll be lagging behind, any later, and you could end up hurt or worse.

E.T.: (I gulp with a twinge of terror) That's really reassuring.

As the three of us get to the door of the plane, we do a last minute check on our equipment

and psych ourselves up for the jump.

E.T.: Okay, you know the order, ladies first.

Kim: See you down below, Ron. I love you.

Ron: I love you too, Kimila.

Kim: (as she jumps out of the plane) Geronimo!

E.T.: That's a long way down.

Ron: Yeah, but it's a helluva rush.

E.T.: Well, you can go before I do.

Ron: No can do, Kemohsabe, age before beauty.

E.T.: I was afraid you were gonna say that. Oh well, Banzai!

As I jump out after Kim, I scream my freaking head off like a banshee. Now it was Ron's turn.

Mjr. Grand: Hey, Ronnie, remember the Alamo.

Ron: Always, Major Grand, Sir, always, Mozeltov!

As Ron took that jump, we all linked up in a triangle formation at 20,000 feet. Then, when we

reached 10,000 feet, we seperated and popped the chutes. We found a clearing in the forest

near the west entry gate and safely landed. After disengaging the parachutes, we made our

way to the halfway point.

On the way to S.P.C.'s west gate

Ron: So how does it feel to survive your very first paraglide, E.T.?

E.T.: (boy, do my balls hurt) I'll let you know when I stop singing soprano. OUCH!

We all made it to the entry gate at the west, and just like Kim said, there were only a

couple Shocker Grunts guarding it. They looked like they were drinking coffee by the thermos

and had itchy trigger fingers on their M-9 Assault Carbines. So I picked up a good sized rock,

and threw it to the left. Then those boneheads went that way to look for what was going on.

Man, this is easier than the pythaegorean theorum. After I gave the okay, we moved in, and

got to the door. Once I had Kim & Ron cover me, I hooked the BeckerCom to the electronic

lock, hacked it like a boss, and opened the door for us to get in. Will we get out alive, even I

do not know at this time, but I do know that it is another story for another chapter.

Well, guys, another chapter has been finished, and it only took a couple of days.

What I wanted to do with this chapter was to pay homage to Super Robot type

anime and Michael Bay movies where the bad guy is driven to utter desperation

to bring about an apocalyptic event to fruition. Plus, a little bit of Power Rangers

and Karate Kid each, just to throw into the mix. If you like what you read here,

then please leave a positive review, if not, then let me know what I need to work

on. However, I'll thank you kindly not to flame me. If you do, I'll ignore it, and

won't leave you a response. So once again, thank you for reading, and keep

those reviews coming. Later, Gators!


	9. Chapter 9

Ohayo, and welcome to another action packed, drama filled, and romance fueled

chapter of "Kim Possible: Of Riders and Shockers". I'm your host, tour guide,

and writer, RiderV3Stoppable, and when we left off in the last chapter, Will Du

had sabotaged all of my defense and security systems. However, the Vanguards

went out and did their job extremely well, holding off the Ritters until things were

all back to working order. Then the Panzer decided to crash the party, but I had

turned him into full metal sushi with a big help from Dai Kamikaze and my otaku

lifestyle. Finally, in order to rescue some villians-turned-witnesses and get inside

Shocker Central, we had to do the one thing that would totally damage them to a

monumental extent, in order to have a bit of smokescreen to cover our operation

So now we all entered into the main base of operations for all of the Shocker

Empire. Our mission is already half done and we're about to do some 007/Die

Hard crossover action. In this chapter, the three of us split up, with Ron going to

rescue Dr. Midorikawa's family, Kim going in to extract the doctor and Takeshi,

and me gathering recorded confirmation of Shocker's new friends all Sam Fisher

style and such. When we get back to "The Village", we'll also see a Stoppable

family squabble, why Shawn shouldn't mess with nanomorphic androids, and

the Shocker finally showing their true colors. This chapter's going to be so full

of action, that it'll ooze out testosterone by the time it's done. So grab some

popcorn and a soda, and maybe some Milkduds and a couple hot dogs with all

the fixings while you're at it, because this will have so much action that even

Michael Bay is gonna cream his pants. As with all chapters, I give you the

following disclaimer. With me to translate it is Japanese Champion pro-wrestler,

Hiroshi Tanahashi. First off, I'd like to state that I do not own Kim Possible or

Kamen Rider.

Hiroshi: I don't own those shows, so get off my back, punks.

Secondly, I do not own any of the rights or characters to them.

Hiroshi: If I did, I'd make Saban do it up proper and make Masked Rider

as accurate to the O.G. as possible, and make Disney do a fifth season

for K.P., fool.

Thirdly, Kim Possible is owned by the Disney corporation, Robert Schooley,

Mark McCorkle, and Bill Kopp.

Hiroshi: K.P.'s owned by three geniuses and a bunch of corporate jerk-offs,

Jabronies.

Lastly, Kamen Rider is owned by Adness entertainment, Bandai, Toei Company

Limited, ShoPro productions, and the master himself, Ishinomori Shotarou.

Hiroshi: Kamen Rider's owned by a bunch of classy-as-hell pimp gangsters, my

brothers and sisters.

Please support the official releases.

Hiroshi: Show these mofos some love up in this piece, they earned it straight up,

G'.

Thank you very much.

Hiroshi: Domo arigatou gouzaimasu, baka-tachi yarou.

Now that the disclaimer, last chapter's review, and this chapter's overview are all

done, let's get the ball rolling. Please note that even with the absence of sexually

explicit content, this story is rated M for mature audiences due to the following:

1. Adult Content

2. Adult Language

3. Adult Situations

4. Violence

5. Sexual humor

6. References to World War Two, Nazi fundamentalism, Racist comments, and

such

7. My Lily-white, Euro-american ass.

If you've enjoyed the story despite the first five items of the story itself, then thank

you, if not, then kiss the last item on the list. Go on, it's right there for your own

enjoyment, I know it's cute, but you got to kiss it.

_**Chapter Nine: Un-Stoppable Drama**_

After getting inside Shocker Central, the three of us started strategizing a plan of attack. Luckily

for us, the global militia were keeping much of the guards busy, which gave us the perfect cover

to gather intel on the Shocker, rescue the hostages, and destroy their plans for building cyborg

assassins left and right. However, the Shocker Grunts were out on patrol on the inside of this

nightmarish factory of designer death, so we had to be in and out of there like the wind, or a pair

of ducks mating. If any of us get caught, we're in for a world of trouble.

Kim: (in complete mission mode) Alright, guys, this is it. The global militia and G.J. are keeping

most of the automated guards busy, but there's still the question of the Shocker Grunts who are

guarding this place. So I want you to be careful and alert, and stick close to the shadows, I don't want to loose a damn good G.J. Agent or my totally badical fiance now that we've got Shocker up against the ropes.

Ron: (looking like a lovesick puppy right about now) Well I don't wanna loose my bon diggity

lover/best friend/soulmate either. If I did, my life would lose all meaning, and I just couldn't bare

living without you for even a second, Kim

E.T.: (while poking my head between them) Plus, let's not forget that I'm too busy to die, I've got

shieks and presidents to meet still. You know I love the both of you like family, but we need to

keep our heads in the game if we're to put that Neo-Nazi asshole's balls in the motherfucking

vice once and for all.

Kim: (shakes her head clear of any romantic daydreams) You're right, E.T., we need to stay on

mission mode until we nail this last objective. Ron, you take the south corridor to the detention

center here while I go north and rescue the doctor and Mr. Hongo. E.T., you'll take the east and

see what you can find, whether it's to confirm what our witnesses had seen or not, it'll still be

valuable intel by the end of the mission.

Ron: No big, K.P., I'll have the hostages out before you can say, "The Fearless Ferret".

E.T.: Hey, no problemo, Sis, I'll gather any actionable intel that I can find, then make the big

rendeveaux in two shakes of a dog's tail. Now would you go ahead and kiss the beautiful girl

already, loverboy, we've got a world to save, and I've gotta meet with shieks and presidents

when we're through.

It was at that time when I made that remark that the two lovebirds engaged in a round of tonsil

hockey, with Kim wrapping her arms around Ron's neck and her legs straddling his waist. They

looked like a couple of lovesick puppies who were afraid of not being able to see eachother ever

again, and lasted only a couple of minutes before breaking the kiss. Man, I need to get laid in

the worst way imaginable. Then, Kim had broke her desperate embrace on her blonde headed

lover. The look in their eyes told me that they'd be pining for one another before this mission is

all wrapped up. All this mushy lovey-dovey malarky's gonna make me blow chunks the size of

Texas.

Ron: (looks Kim deep into her eyes) Be careful Kimmie, these Shocker Grunts are unpredictible

enough, and if they do anything to you...

Kim: (does the same with Ron) I know, Ron, you don't have to say it. Just knowing that you'd

do anything for me is enough to get me by. I love you, Ron, from here to infinity.

Ron: (hugs Kim in one last embrace) ...and I love you too, more than words could ever say.

E.T.: (rolling my eyes at them in exsasperation) For the love of Go Nagai, you're only rescuing

a couple victims of the Mankey family, not going to different branches of the military to fight a

war against giant alien insects on two different fronts. This ain't Starship Troopers, and I ain't

Michael Ironside.

After a brief prayer to God and Yaweh to psyche ourselves up, the three of us split up and took

our appointed corridors to take the fight to Shocker for a change. Finally, a little payback for

what they did to my father. Good thing Ron lent me Rufus for the day. As Keanu Reeves and

Alex Winter would say, "Excellent", insert cool air guitar riff ala Steve Vai here. All joking aside,

let's see what's going down at the Stoppables' end.

At the same time in "The Village"

The entire Stoppable family were at the food court enjoying a nice and peaceful dinner, well,

at least they tried to for the most part. With Shawn trying to play pranks on his cousin's own

family, only to be caught by little Hana Stoppable and served a large plate of baby ninja justice

on the side, Ron's cousin, Eugene trying to hustle his way into his bank account, and Ron's aunt

trying to split Team Possible apart as a couple only to replace Kim with a Jewish facsimile, poor

Dean & Jean Stoppable were nearly at wit's end.

Barbara Stoppable: (in a holier-than-thou tone of voice) Alright, I won't argue that Ron has been

improving himself by leaps and bounds since the day he first met Kim in kindergarten, but I still

say she's as much of a bad influence on him as she is a good one. Thus, I stand firmly by my

conviction that he should be better off with a nice orthodox Jewish girl, and be forbidden to go

on anymore missions with that harlot shiksa. Who knows what kind of trouble he'll end up in.

Jean: (takes a sip of her coffee to maintain composure) Look, we've been over this since your

lawfirm and star pupil attorney/eldest son lost the Henchco case. If my son wishes to marry

his long time best friend who, might I add, saved your kiester a million times over, then we must

be proud and happy for him no matter what. Let's not forget, me and Dean are anything but the

typical orthodox Jewish couple, and we encouraged that same unorthodox teaching into Ron.

Eugene: Perhaps we could reach a tentative agreement on this. We will not only allow Ron this

tiny luxury, but also give him a proper family blessing if he turns over his money to me. I assure

you that as the chief attorney at my mom's firm I will be a staunch advocate for Ron's college

education, make fruitful investment choices, and see to it that all of his needs are met if I am

named chief repayee and executor of his fortune.

Dean: (looking at Eugene with nothing but sheer venom and anger) Why, so you can blow it on

more and more gambling debts and lost cases that put your mother's firm in the red with debt

after debt, forget it. We all heard about how you had to embezzle money from the firm's very

own account just to pay off your debts, how you ended up representing people from numerous

criminal syndicates around the country as free favors to them to help cancel your debts, and

how you lost every single case you were given. Do you know what they call you, Eugene?

It ain't the next Perry Mason, that's for sure. They call you the Great White Hopeless, because

with all of your fancy law school degrees and education, you've never won a case in your career

as a lawyer. So if you think that you, your mother, or your law firm can use our own son's hard

earned money to fix the mistakes you've all made, what with Babs putting you in charge of the

Stoppable & Son law firm's assets, then remember this, Ron has enough money to buy out the

whole Bueno Nacho & Smarty Mart chains, and the Stoppable & Son firm. This will make your

unsuccessful law firm a subsidiary, and subject to an overhaul in personnel.

Barbara: All we're saying is that neither Ron nor his bitch are fit to handle such a large amount

of money, and if she bleeds him dry of every red cent in his account, we will sue the Possibles

for wrongful theft and mismanagement of our..uh...I mean, Ron's money.

Jean: (catches on to Barbara's words) Wait a minute, did you say that it was your money? If

you did, then I can see why Irving didn't want to leave the firm in Eugene's hands. It's because

you show favoritism when it comes to your sons, even when they do wrong. You relentlessly

spoil them to no end because you still see them as your little angels. Well I've got some news

for you, your precious little Shawn put live firecrackers under me & my husband's behinds.

It was then that Hana pulls out said firecrackers seemingly from out of nowhere, the wicks of

which looked like they've been lit and then blown out. Furthermore, they both had labels that

said "property of Shawn Stoppable", crazy glued right on to them.

Barbara: (feigning denial) So what, there's probably a hundred Shawn Stoppables around in this

shit hole alone.

It was at that moment that Shawn reared his smarmy little head of curly red hair. He looked

like he went ten rounds with Mike Tyson and was lucky enough to survive.

Shawn: (with tears of pain and fear) Mommy, I did as you said, I tried to leave a loud enough

message for cousin Ron, but Hana caught me in the act and beat me up.

Barbara: (still playing the denial card) What are you talking about, and who are you for that

matter? I don't know who put you up to this but mark my words, I'll find your parents and

help litigate against whoever beat you up.

Then the whole Stoppable clan heard a computerized voice yell out "liar" in a loud tone.

Barbara was shocked by that alone, and nearly messed her pants from that.

Eugene: What the fuck was that?

Dean: (as he pulls out a strange device roughly the size of a pen) That was my portable

voice stress analyzer. It was made by that nice Becker boy, and he gave it to me to

test it out on the lowest scum sucker that has a propensity for pathological deception

that I can think of, and who better than you, Babs. Of course, that's only the technical

name for it, but I'd like to call it the B.S. detector, as in Bull Shit, and let me tell you

something, dear sister-in-law, you're laying it on thick.

Jean: It also doubles as a flash drive audio recorder, and a special pen with a black light

feature that uses both visible and invisible ink, what a clever little mench that E.T. is.

Thank you, Mrs. S.!

Dean: (smiling ear to ear with vindicative satisfaction) This only means that we have a

case to file suit with you, take little Shawn off of your incompetent hands, and when

we win, we'll send him off to a military school.

Barbara: Okay, we may be against Ron's choice in a potential wife, but we're not trying

to steal your son's money.

Again, the B.S. alarm went off, and it made Babs nearly lose it. I think somebody's

pissed.

Eugene: Okay, we'll leave Ron alone, but can you blame us? When Mom inherited the

firm when Dad died, and handed carte blanche control over to me, I fucked the firm's big

ass bank account with all of those trips to Las Vegas. I only did the gambling to help

double our money, but after that, I started winning a couple of bets until I blew it all on the

Moonlight Bunny Ranch, this was, of course, during the honeymoon that I was supposed

to be on with my wife. I couldn't help it, I was under a lot of stress from all the cases that

I lost, but the Henchco case against Team Possible was what did me in.

Barbara: (incensed at her eldest son's forthright honesty) That's enough, Eugene, you don't

have to say anymore.

Eugene: (starts confessing to the converter) No, Mom, they deserve to hear this, after all, it

was you who gave me the passwords to get into the firm's account on a daily basis. You

were using me as your puppet, just like you tried to use Shawn as an accomplice to a double

murder, and tried and failed to turn your nephew into a walking/talking/living emergency bank

account for you to fix my mistakes with. In fact, I saw Mom poison my Dad's coffee the day he

died, right before he could ever change the executors of the Stoppable and Son Law Firm to be

you, Uncle and Auntie. He was gonna leave us with nothing when he died, but who in the hell

could blame him, my mom is an oppurtunistic, money hungry bitch, and I just keep fucking my

cases up everytime, the entire firm would be in your names.

Perhaps an explaination is in order, for you see, a couple of years ago, the Stoppable & Son

law firm was a successful firm ran and owned by one Irving Stoppable, who died of a mysterious

heart attack brought on by an aerithmea that was complicated by a high potassium count in his

blood. Until today, no one knew how the potassium got into his blood, but everyone at the firm

and the bar association knew of his 1,000 win/0 loss record of successfully litigated cases, and

of his continuous contrabutions to socially, economically, and enviromentally driven charities and causes. In fact, he was a prime candidate for attorney general for the whole U.S., and has been nicknamed the modern day Perry Mason. You could even say that he's the lawyer

equivalent of Kim Possible, but I digress, let's move on with the story.

Jean: (starts playing it off like the lady on "Murder She Wrote") Is this true, Barbara? Did you

really kill Irving because he was going to change the will?

Barbara: (starts sweating bullets like mad) Listen, I know that me and Irving had our differences

on who should control the Stoppable firm, but I wouldn't kill my husband over it, I loved him, and

still do to this day.

Then the B.S. alarm went off for a third time today, and it looked like it was going to be more and more difficult to convince Jean & Dean of her innocence. Does anyone smell a goose roasting in the oven, because Babs is getting cooked.

Barbara: (lets out a truckload of desparation) Okay, I know you probably don't believe me, but all this is opening old wounds for me while making me nervous at the same time. I mean, he wasn't just going to cut me out of the will, he was also filing for both a divorce and sole custody over my little Shawn for Yahweh's sake. Even then, I wouldn't kill Irving over that.

The B.S. alarm chimed off for one last time before it made Barbara Stoppable crack under the

overwhelming pressure of convincing her late husband's eldest brother that she was innocent of

first degree murder. Stick a fork in her, because she's done.

Barbara: (snaps under the pressure into confession) Alright, I did it, I was the one who put the

potassium nitrate in his morning coffee, and I did it because he discovered that I've been unfaithful to him. He found out that I had a one night stand with our mexican pool boy, and that I had an abortion one month into my pregnancy. After that, he fired the pool boy, started filing a divorce, a challenge of custody over Shawn, and changing of his last will in testament. That bastard with his holy crusade against me was going to leave me with nothing left, he even made me sign a mutual indemnity pre-nuptual agreement before we were even wed. He was going to take away all that I had worked for, all because I made three little mistakes in our marriage, but he wasn't always there to satisfy my womenly needs. It's because of his neglect of me, and his vindicative nature of resolving that matter, that I began to hate him. So I devised a perfect way of killing him without getting caught. After calling a few of my friends at the Mayo Clinic, I attained the drug, potassium nitrate, and because of his diabetes and aerithmea, it served my purpose well, so after I put a good dose into his morning coffee, I threw the damn bottle away.

Dean: So that's how you did my youngest brother in? Well now that we've got your confession

of that little interesting bit of news, we'll just take our leave and report this to the top brass here.

Oh, and one more thing, Babs, the next time you interfere with our son's love life for the sake of

money ever again, it will be your last as a free and clear citizen outon the streets. If I were you,

I'd find a new line of work, and get myself the best defense lawyer that you can cheaply afford.

Because if you try that murder by poison stuff on us, I guarantee that you'll never see Shawn,

one red penny from us, or the light of the world outside of a prison yard ever again.

It was at that moment that Babs just lost all control, threw herself over the table, and tried to

strangle Dean. Jean however didn't want her husband to get hurt, so she pressed the face of

her Timex watch, and out popped two prjectile needles connected to a wire each, ones that

surged with 50,000 watts of electricity and can down a rhino in 0 seconds flat. As the needles

made contact, the electrical shocks set in for Barbara, and she was down and out on the table,

her body twitching and spasming for only a couple seconds. Meanwhile, Dean gave Eugene the

evil eye treatment, silently telling him that if he goes to make a run for it, or if he's dumb enough

to do what Babs did and go after Jean, he'll sic Hana on his smarmy little ass. Fortunately for

Eugene, he opted to surrender peacefully, and without incident. Even his younger brother was

opting for the peaceful cooperation tactic. and wisely gave up without any resistance.

Dean: That's the first smart move either of you had made, now here's how it's going down. Me

and my beautiful wife, whom I couldtn't live without, are placing you under citizen's arrest, and

will take you to Dr. Director. You all have the right to remain silent, the right to an attorney, and

the right to a fair and speedy trial. If none of you can afford an attorney, one will be appointed to

you by Global Justice, and if you refuse the courtroom trial, well, everything you say and do will

be held against you. Do you understand these rights, because if you don't, then you're screwed.

Both Shawn and Eugene had nodded their heads silently to show Dean that they understood, but poor little Babsy was still out to lunch after taking the tazer express into la-la land.

Jean: (was all smiles) Good, then you two won't mind helping my husband carry that waste of

human flesh with us, would you?

The brothers then shook their heads to show that they wouldn't mind helping out a little bit. At

least they'll be able to get a light sentence if they continue to cooperate. They then helped their

uncle grab the unconcious and prone body of their mother, and carried her to the infirmary to

get her awake and alert. After that, Dean got Dr. Director on the horn and told her to get a couple of G.J. Agents to watch over her until Babs has a clean bill of health again, then escort her to the detention center to await a trial. Now that this bit is over, let's check out what's going

down on our end.

South corridor, S.P.C, International, Denver, Colorado

Ron didn't waste much time with the Shocker Grunts that tried to keep him out of the detention

center, because as Homer Jay Simpson once said, "trying is the first step towards failure",

especially if you're part of an evil organization bent on setting race relations back to the 1600's

and one of their enemies happens to have enough Mystical Monkey Power to put one of your

coworkers in a German suplex, give another one a Stone Cold Stunner, and literally go all

Conan the Barbarian on 15 more of them. Basically, it wasn't a good day to be a Shocker Grunt

and piss off the superpowered fiance of Kim Possible, especially since he's got a blood feud

against your current employer. Once he got to the detention center, he knocked around one of

the guards there for information as to where the Midorikawa family was being kept. After that

brief interrogation, he knocked said guard out and got into a knife fight with two more. One

ended up having his throat sliced open and the other was turned into a pin cusion from the 17

stab wounds to his upper torso. When Ron got to the prison cell where the hostages were kept,

he karate chopped the padlock and opened the cell door. Inside the cell were two attractive  
women of Japanese descent. One of them was in her early to mid twenties, while the other was

in her late fourties. Both women hugged eachother out of fear that they might be executed, but

what came in it's stead was what really surprised them.

Ron: Ore wa Ron Stoppable desu, ore ga koko da tasukeru kimi yo. (I'm Ron Stoppable, I'm

here to help you.)

Chizuru: Thank Kami-sama you're here, and that you speak Japanese. My name is Chizuru

Midorikawa, and this is my daughter, Ruriko.

Ron: It's a pleasure meeting both of you, but right now we gotta jet outta here and get to the

rendeveaux point to meet up with the rest of the team.

Ruriko: How many are in your team, Stoppable-san?

Ron: Three, including myself, you'll meet them on the way out.

Chizuru: You mean to say that there's only three people in your team?

Ron: Well, actually it's four if you count my naked mole rat.

Ruriko: If that's your big back-up team, then we're all gonna die!

Ron: We're not gonna die, especially if I've got something to say about it. Now stay close to

me while we make like one of the Shaw Brothers and Run Run. I'll be cloaking us with an old

ninja technique to get past the guards that are coming soon.

With that said, Ron channeled all of his ki to perform the dragon style stealth technique to

render Chizuru, Ruriko, and himself totally invisible, then the trio made their way for the western

entrance to meet up with the others. That does it for Ron's part of the mission, let's check up on

Kim and see how she's fairing.

At the same time in the North corridor

Kim had resolved to use hand to hand tactics to immobilize or knock out a good 13 of the

guards in her way of the cybernetics lab that Dr. Midorikawa was in. Then, six more of them

dropped down from the cieling and landed on their feet, surrounding Kim and brandishing their

AK-47's. That's when Kim made out like Christian Bale from the movie "Equilibrium", and gave

her potential captors/victims a taste of John Woo style Gun Kata, flipping, twisting, and shooting

them down from every which way. Once the ballet of death was over, the guards all fell down

onto the floor, cold, dead, and lifeless. To say that she was pissed off at The Shocker Empire

would be the biggest understatement of this eon, because this was a brand new Kim Possible

that they now had to contend with, and with her equally transformed partner, Team Possible

was a lot more battle hardened than ever before. This new and improved Team Possible now

knew what was at stake, and what measures had to be taken if they wanted to save the world

and make it out alive. Once she reached the lab, she blasted off the lock on the door with a

couple of rounds. She then kicked the door in with full force and made a sweep of the room.

What she found was a team of Shocker scientists gathered around an operating table, and on

that table was a man that she recognized as one of her new friends, Prof. Takeshi Hongo, or

what's left of his body. She warily made her way to the table while pointing her Baretta at the

scientists, and spoke to Takeshi in a worried but authorative tone.

Kim: Prof. Hongo, are you alright?

Takeshi: (waking up as the sedation wore off) Kim...is that you? Thank Kami-sama you're

here, because I can't feel any of my limbs, though the rest of me is fine.

Random Shocker scientist: (with anger and hatred in his voice) You stupid bitch, you've

interrupted the final phase of the operation. We hadn't even implanted the cerebral control chip

yet. You'll pay for this, you red headed slut.

As the scientist charged at her, Kim destroyed his right knee with only a single shot from her

gun, leaving said scientist crying, screaming, and yelling in pain. After that, she turned the gun

on the remaining scientists.

Kim: Alright, now I want to know where Dr. Toshihiro Midorikawa is, or else I'll start pumping you

full of lead right here and now.

The other scientists didn't want to incur the full wrath of the ticked off redhead in front of them,

so they all pointed to their right and revealed where the good doctor was standing at.

Dr. Midorikawa: I'm Dr. Midorikawa, miss, if you're here to eliminate me for the sake of those

damned Mankeys, then make it quick, but please spare my daughter and wife. They're too

innocent to die.

Kim: Today's your lucky day, Doctor, I'm Kim Possible, and I'm here to get you out of this hell

hole.

Dr. Midorikawa: Oh, Kami yo, (Oh, thank God,) you've arrived just in time, but what about my

family, are they safe?

Kim: They will be as long as they stay close to my Ron-man, right now I could use your help

in getting Prof. Hongo up and off of this O.R. table, please and thank you.

Dr. Midorikawa: With pleasure, Possible-chan!

After the two get Takeshi on his feet, they each sling an arm over their shoulders and prepare to

make good their escape.

Kim: (looking at Takeshi with concern) Can you still walk okay, Prof. Hongo?

Takeshi: I can very well walk out of here on my own if I have to, but thanks just the same.

Kim: (as she turns her Baretta on the scientists) Alright, as for the rest of you, don't bother

following us, and don't even think about raising the alarm. Because if I catch you doing either

one of them, I'll blow your heads off.

As the second trio walked out the door, none of the other scientists pressed the panic button,

or made a real effort to follow them, especially after learning how ruthless that Team Possible

had become. The three made their way to the rendeveaux point and didn't stop for anything.

With two parts of this mission objective done, let's see how well I fair.

Meanwhile, in the Eastern corridor

There was only a couple of guards at the munitions storage room, which also adjoined to

the main meeting hall of Shocker's international headquarters. Fortunately, I still had my

dad's legacy with me, and I knew just how to use them. Knowing these guys, they're probably

the kind that are none too bright and would run and hide at the drop of a hat. It was time for me

to prove what kind of stuff I'm really made of. As I casually walk up to them, I put on a faux

Neo-Nazi white supremicist routine.

E.T.: Hey there, my white brothers from other mothers, how's it hanging, catch any good cross

burnings lately?

Guard #1: Hey, just who are you, partner, and where'dya come from?

Guard #2: Yeah, and how'dya get inside all the way here?

E.T.: Oh, me, I'm the new night shift janitor, and the boss man sent me here to clean that th'ar

munitions depot right behind ya'.

Guard #1: Oh, well we hadn't gotten to no cross burnings lately, but y'all can go in and get to

work if it'll help.

E.T.: Really now, well that's a crying shame. Tell ya' what, why don't the three of us play a

little quiz game.

Guard #2: Boy howdy, we love ourselves a good quiz game, what's it called?

E.T.: It's called "Which is Which?", and the way we play it is that I hold two things, ome in each

hand, and they both look the same, except one's a dud, and one's for real.

Both of the guards: (in unison) Well what's in your hands right now?

E.T.: (I pull out my hand grenades) Oh, just these two hand grenades.

At that exact moment, the two guards start running around like a couple of chickens with their

heads cut off, all of the while, screaming like banshees in sheer terror. At one point, they even

ran into eachother, fell down, and got right back up only to run into the railings that served to

keep people from falling into that lethally deep crevace between the munitions depot and the

rest of the building. After spinning around on said railings, the two did a swan dive into said

crevace. Gosh, I do hope their H.M.O. covers this kind of job related death. After I put my

grenades away, I make my way to the bridge leading to the door of the munitions depot. Seems

like they've been expecting me, because the door only has a generic high tech key card action

lock, which only uses key cards to open up. Luckily for me, my BeckerCom serves as a high

tech multipurpose lock pick/skeleton key. After hacking into the controls for the door, it opens

up with a delightful old school Star Trek style swish. Can you say "open sesame"? Sure you

can, it's easy. Once inside I began taking photos of numerous sights that one wouldn't expect

in the international headquarters of a multitrillion dollar company, tanks, fighter planes, mobile

cannons, missiles, armoured assault vehicles, howitzers, assault choppers, U-boats, aircraft

carriers, the works. There was even a whole lot of assault rifles and everything. I had then did

a transfer of all the photos from my I-phone to my BeckerCom and did a scan of the floor plans

of this floor. Turns out that there's a central air duct that leads to the meeting hall of this

nightmare menagerie. There's just a few problems with that: 1. It's too high for me to climb,

and 2. The air duct is too narrow, so even if I managed to climb up to it, I'd be stuck if I tried

to crawl into it, and 3. The only thing that I can shimmy myself up to it is a pipe that's slimmer

than Jessica Biel's waistline. Look's like it's up to Rufus to help save the day. As I gently

wake Team Possible's mascot up, he starts to angrily chitter at me, but once I explain the

situation to him and offer an apology, he's all gung ho and ready to go. I hand him my I-Phone

and tell him to get footage of any meetings being held in the conferrence room from hell, and

just before he climbed up the pipe, he gave me a salute and said, "Hokay!" Once he was inside

the air duct, I decided to touch base with the others.

_**(Radio Communication)**_

_**E.T.: Ron, Kim, are you there, I've nearly got my part of the objective completed. All I've**_

_**gotta do is wait for Rufus to come back and get me the intelligence footage.**_

_**Ron: Ron here, I've rescued the hostages and am currently en route to the rendveaux as**_

_**of now, how about you, Kim?**_

_**Kim: This is Kim, here, I've rescued the doctor and the guinea pig, but from the looks of**_

_**it, the Shocker scientists had already replaced much of Prof. Hongo's body with some**_

_**sort of cybernetic system of implants. Other than that, we're in good shape.**_

_**E.T.: Roger that, I'll meet you in thirty minutes after I finish up.**_

_**Ron: You be careful E.T., and Kim, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.**_

_**Kim: When this mission's over and we head back to our little bungalow, I'm so gonna**_

_**make love to you in spades. Over and out!**_

Thirty minutes after the radio conferrence, Rufus comes back out with my I-Phone and is ready

to head back home. I guess he does come in handy in a tight spot. I'll definitely get him some

Bueno Nacho after this.

E.T.: Thanks, little guy, I couldn't have done it without ya'.

Rufus: (before scurrying into my cargo pocket) Hnk! Welcome, welcome.

Once Rufus is safely tucked away, I begin to run for the exit. As the Hannah-Barbera cartoon

character, Snagglepuss, would say, "Exit, stage left!" As I went to take my leave, I left a tiny

little time bomb of my own invention, a nano-nuclear device which I set for three hours, giving

us all the time we need to escape. Looks like this weasle's about to go pop, so I'd better

make like Jesse Owens and run a hundred yard dash against the I.R.S. and jet on outta here.

Minutes later, at the Western Lobby

Ron: (coming out of the Dragon style camouflage) Kim thank goodness you're alive, where's

E.T.?

Kim: Don't worry about it, I'm sure he's on his way. Look, here he comes right now.

E.T.: (looking like I ran a freaking marathon) Good, I made it just in time. This ship is entirely

too big, if I walked, the movie would be over.

Ron: All hail President Skroob, hail, salute!

The others: (in military unison) HAIL, SALUTE!

As they went into this routine, the others all gave the sign language for the words, "Up yours",

and finished it off with a little girlish wave, which is the traditional way for Spaceballs to greet

their superior in command. I of course returned the favor. Man, it's good to be the presdent.

Kim: So, E.T., did you manage to get your end of the objective done?

E.T.: Not only that, my redheaded Mrs. Kensington, but I also left a little something to remember

me by. Now we'd all better hurry before the fireworks start, and we end up missing them when

we get caught in them.

As we made our way into the forest, Chizuru and Ruriko helped their bread winner carry the

college professor to the pick up point, while the three of us ran ahead and took out the guards at

the gate with our hand guns. Once we got into the forest, it was smooth sailing from there.

At the pick up point

E.T.: Alright, gang, I've contacted our jitny from G.J., and he's gonna pick us all up in only three

minutes. I'll signal him to let him know we're here while the rest of you chillax and stuff. Kim,

Ron, the two of you stand guard for our passengers while I do a parameter check of the area

surrounding us.

Kim & Ron: (in perfect unison) Right, chief!

Ron: Jinx, you owe me a kiss.

Kim: Gladly, my love!

As Kim & Ron go into another round of tonsil hockey, I begin my survey of the surrounding

forest. I've checked the north, south, and west ends of the area, only to find nothing amiss,

but when I checked the east end of the forest, a horrifying sight came into my field of vision.

Being the only senior field agent of G.J. on this mission, I did what any other agent in my position

would do, run for my life in sheer terror. But it wasn't to escape the horror that was chasing

me, it was to get to the extraction point and warn the others. Truly, discretion is the better

part of valor, or is it the other way around, I can never tell.

Meanwhile, with the others

After Takeshi had a few moments to get used to his implants, Dr. Midorikawa showed him

how to fully access them. The good doctor spread his feet to the 9:00/3:00 position, stretched

his right arm and bent his left, both of them facing to his right. Then, he waved both arms in a

clockwise motion until his hands pointed diagonally to the sky, and shouted out the secret

transformation code "henshin", which is Japanese for "to transform". He even went into detail

that the belt Takeshi now wore was also his transformation device, and was also powered by

the wind, thus, it was called "The Tornado Belt". While that was going on, Chizuru and Ruriko

decided to rub elbows with Team Possible and get the skinny on their relationship, their new,

far more professional attitude, and why the Shocker hates them so much. Once they got the

answers they were looking for, the two Midorikawa women were put to ease. All of a sudden,

the relatively peaceful calm and tranquility was disturbed by yours truly, screaming my head

off in bloody murder while running circles around the encampment. Once Takeshi, Kim, and

Ron get a hold of me, they try to calm me down to a point where I could at least be coherent

when I spoke.

Ron: Take it easy, broha, you're gonna throw your voice out like that.

Takeshi: Yeah, hermano, take it easy and tell us what's going down.

E.T.: (in my best William Shatner impression) There's...someone in the woods...some,,,thing!

Kim: Whatever it was that you saw, it must have been pretty gorchy to make you act like this.

E.T.: (in my best Moe Howard impression) Lady, you ain't just whistling Dixie.

Ron: Just describe what it is you saw, and we'll get right on it.

E.T.: (after calming down a little bit) Alright, I'll try, what I saw in the west side of the woods were

a squad of Ritters, and they looked like they were being led to our facinity by something that

appeared to be human, but it was green and scaly. It had a mohawk of short, black hair on his

head, red glowing eyes, fangs for teeth, fins for ears, webbing on his fingers and toes, and a set

of gills on his neck. He also spat this green muck at me, but I'm sure that he missed the mark.

I ran back here as soon as possible to warn you.

Kim: Well you did the right thing there, and aside from running like a decapitated chicken and

screaming like a banshee, what you did was pretty brave in my book. As for this monster you

saw, that's probably Gil Roberts, A.K.A. Gill.

Ron: Yeah, me and Kim went toe to toe with him before, and he has yet to beat us. You, Kim,

and Takeshi guard the others, I'll handle Gill and the Ritters.

Takeshi: You mean "We" will handle them, besides, you're going to need some kick ass back

up to help put these guys down.

Kim: (looking towards Takeshi) Are you sure about this?

Takeshi: Positive, and now that I can access my cybernetic implants, these Ritters won't stand

a ghost of a prayer of a snowball's chance in hell.

Ron: (mulls it over for a second or two while stroking his chin) Well it goes against my better

judgement, but alright, let's see just what kind of killing machine that the Shocker made you

into.

As Ron and Takeshi had stood guard of the east path into the clearing, Gill and his squad of

Ritters made their entrance with muck and weapons at the ready.

Gill: Well, well, well, if it ain't Team Punk-ible and the runaway Shocker-roid. You know, Hongo,

you really shouldn't have ran away to join the dweeb and his butch, redheaded bitch. It really

lowers the standards of our employer.

Ron: (ticked off by Gill's insult) Whoa there, Sushi-breath, there's nothing butch about my K.P.,

and she's nobody's bitch, she's my fiance!

Gill: (acting totally nonchalant) Whatever, pansy, just hand over the doctor, his family, and the

Kaiser's magnificent creation, and you, your skank ass hoe, and your shared boyfriend from

Global Justice will all go home all intact. If you don't, we will kill the whole lot of you here and

now.

Takeshi: (in clear and unadulterated defiance) No dice, Fishstick, the only way you're gonna get

me back to that hell hole, or kill my new posse for that matter, is over my dead body.

Gill: Don't be a fool, Hongo, hanging with these losers will slow you down. At least if you come

back to us, we can still complete the final process of implantation, and help you become more

than just a cyborg. With us, you'll have a chance for a greater destiny.

Takeshi: And just what would that destiny be, to live as a weapon of genocide without my own

freedom or humanity? Thanks, but no thanks, I'd much rather hang with Team Possible if that's

not a problem with you.

Gill: Fine then, join those losers if you want, but you'll all know the true meaning of the the term

of suffering. Do you wanna know why? It's because I'm gonna kill all of the women in your little

group.

Ron: (while charging up into full M.M.P. mode) Go on!

Gill: (continuing with his empty threat) But first, I'll rape the living shit out of all the ladies you got

with you.

Ron: (still powering up) Do tell!

Gill: (making like an Energizer bunny with his threat) But before I do that, I'm gonna ghost the

nerd and the old guy that are running with you.

Ron: (reaching his full M.M.P. mode) Neat!

Gill: (finally gets to the point) But before I do any of those things, I'm gonna kill you both where

you stand.

Ron: (finally reaches full M.M.P. mode) Oh really, well that would be intimidating if you were,

well, intimidating.

GIll: (looking visibly insulted) Are you openly mocking me, twerp?

Ron: Who, me? Oh no, no, no, no, pfft, shyeah!

Gill: (angered by that little insult) RITTERS, GET THOSE FUCKING BASTARDS, KILL THEM

BOTH, THEN BRING THEIR REMAINS TO EMPEROR DRACULOID!

As the Ritters began to close in on the two fighters, Takeshi had went into his transformation

sequence, while Ron literally punched and kicked holes in some of them, and threw others into

the trees, slammed them into little pieces on the ground, or karate chopped them in half. As

for Takeshi, whom was surrounded completely in a glow of white light until his transformation

was complete, he took on three more of them that went into mid air. With a gravity defying jump

into the air, he gave one an aerial ax hand chop, then superman punched another, and as he

twisted in mid air like Neo in the Matrix movie trilogy, gave the last one a flying dragon kick.

Those three Ritters soon fell onto the ground, all of them were deactivated and rendered into a

non-functioning state. They were still very much intact, but only until Takeshi, who was now

clad in an invincible suit of high-tech flexible armour, complete with armour plating on his upper

torso, green combat boots and matching gloves, red striping on his arms and legs, and lastly,

a grasshopper like helmet that covered his entire head, and had red, glowing, compound eyes

to add to the insectoid look of his antennae, had landed safely on the ground. Then, the three

that Takeshi had slained exploded into itty-bitty-tiny-little fragments. This of course scared the

fish-man of Camp Wannaweep so badly, that he was almost afraid to see what Ron was doing

with most of them. The very same could be said about the few Ritters that he still had left on

him, the ones that chose wisely to guard their scaly master during this coup. However, being

that neither they nor Gill were that bright to begin with, they all looked to see a blond, freckled

young man, who was covered in golden colored fur, had blue, glowing eyes, and had instantly

grown a monkey's tail. He was standing proudly on top of a mini mountain of the remains of

fallen Ritters that were foolish enough to challenge him in combat, and staring down at the

remaining Ritters and Gill with a look of death, death to anyone who threaten those who were

under his protection. After assessing the probabilities of success with the new data they've

aquired, the remaining Ritters quickly decided the very best course of action for them to take,

which was fleeing back to Shocker Headquarters and leaving the fish-man to fend for himself.

Gill: (yelling angrily as he watched his reinforcements flee for the H.Q.) GET BACK HERE, YOU

LAZY, COWARDLY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING, ROBOTIC PUSSIES, THERE'S TEN OF US

STILL LEFT HERE, AND ONLY TWO OF THOSE FREAKS. WE CAN STILL TAKE THEM ON,

YOU USELESS PILES OF METALLIC JUNK AND SCRAP. YOU DARE TO CALL YOUR

SORRY LITTLE SELVES TRUE RITTERS, YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF HIGH

TECH, ROBOTIC, SKANKY ASS BITCHES. NOW GET THE FUCK BACK HERE, GODDAMN

IT, WE'VE GOT A MISSION TO FULFILL.

Once the Ritters were out of sight however, Gill soon learned that they weren't coming back.

Hell, I'd be surprised if they even send back up to go and rescue him. However, such wasn't the

case. As he turned back around, he saw an angry looking cyborg cracking his knuckles, and

one Ron Stoppable still looking like a superpowered, anthropomorphic monkey on steroids.

Gill: (with the last ounce of defiance left in him) You may have succeeded in fending off the Ritters for now, you freaks, but I do hope your nerdy friend is also a geneticist, because the legendary Kim Possible is gonna need one for what I'm about to do next.

With that, Gill jumped over the two titans and made his way over to Kim. It was almost as if he

was trying to get within spitting distance of her. Once Gill was in range, he hocked a disgusting,

green loogie at Kim, only to have it dissipate upon contact with a blue force field of protective

energy. After my past experiences with Ron, I knew that only he could be the source of it.

Ron: (in full M.M.P. rage) NOBODY...TRIES TO MUTATE...MY K.P...AND GETS AWAY WITH

IT...EVER!

Gill: (in total shock, surprise, alarm, and terror) Oh shit, Ron, please take it easy on me. I was

just yanking your chain that time, honest, I swear on my mother's grave. Do you remember when we were kids up at Camp Wannaweep, and how we used to go canoeing on the lake everyday?

Ron: (while going into a Kamehameha stance) Screaming...Monkey...Shockwave!

As soon as Ron gathered enough ki, he launched the orb of energy at his childhood nemesis ala Goku from Dragon Ball Z. Once it made contact, the force of the blast was strong enough that it sent Gill through several trees before it dissipated. After he screeched to a crashing halt, he tried to get up, only to discover that he was injured extensively in his limbs, and that his entire spinal column had been broken from the neck down, resulting in his current state of quadrapalegic paralysis. Gill had also learned that much of his internal organs were damaged beyond medical treatment during the blast, seeing as he was bleeding from all over his torso.

Gill: (after seeing Ron's handywork) Oh fuck me sideways with a white hot poker up my ass,

why can't I feel my everything? Oh yeah, it's because I flew into a shitload of fucking trees.

Well, I guess this is the end for me. I wonder, will I dream when I close my eyes one final time?

Oh, God, what have I done with my life? Please, lord, please forgive me for the sins that I've

committed, if you do, then I promise never to sin again for as long as I live, which will be very

short, considering that the freaky little dweeb finally done me in. Please, lord, give me a sign

that you're still there, and that you've forgiven me.

After a few brief seconds, no sign was given, which could only mean that Gil "Gill" Roberts was

too far gone for absolution. As he took his last breath, he started to violently cough up blood,

which as we all know from all old school anime is a sure fire sign of dying.

Gill: Why, why, my god, why have you forsakened me?

With his last words, Gill had drifted off into a dreamless sleep, one that he'll never awaken from

ever again. As he passed away, tears were streaming down his face, probably because he knew that he was gonna die alone that very night. Meanwhile, back on our end, Ron had fully powered down, as did Takeshi, and some of us were all amazed at what we had just witnessed. Ron had done it, he had taken a wicked life with his M.M.P. yet again. This time wasn't that much unlike the time he killed Warhawk and Warmonger, the two Lowardian invaders who almost murdered Kim Possible in cold blood. If they had succeeded, her corpse would've been kept as a wall trophy. After we all gathered our wits about us, I fired my emergency flare gun to get a Hover Jet transport to our area. Once it landed, Takeshi and I helped the Midorikawa family get on board, as for Kim and Ron, Ron's hands were still shaking a little bit but it died down once Kim pulled him into a loving embrace. After he was settled down, the two lovebirds boarded the Hover Jet, and it took off for "The Village". When we've aquired a safe distance from the H.Q., we all looked back at it as my little time bomb went off. Turns out that it took a good chunk of the rest of the building as well, and this single act alone, may have bought all of us a little more time to plan our next move while we file our reports and rest up. With that little display of pyrotechnics underway, we leave you with an AC/DC classic.

_**(Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC)**_

Insert another kick ass animated montage here.

With the rescue being complete and Shocker now reeling from their latest loss, we all decided

that we could use a brief vacation once we got back to "The Village" to give our reports to the

top brass. Auntie Betty may chew me out for stepping out of mission parameters, but once

she sees the footage I have, she'll come to not only forgive me, but also understand why I did

what I did. G.J.'s gonna need every foothold they can get against the Shocker Empire, and I

was more than willing to hang myself by the neck to give it to them. While we head for the

homestead, let's check on what's going down in "The Village".

Meanwhile, at "The Village"

Shawn & Eugene Stoppable were at the infirmary with their mother, of whom is now proven to

be a black widow. While she rested in recovery from being tazed into unconciousness, her

boys devised a way to get even with their aunt and uncle, as well as neutralizing the threat of

the cutest and deadliest super ninja baby ever. I'll give you three guesses as to who it is, and

the first two don't count. First, the brothers pretended to need the use of a rest room, and since

they were under heavy guard, at least one of the guards would go with them. Second, while

Shawn would fake being sick, Eugene would get said guard that's with them to come and take a

look at Shawn. Then, while the guard was distracted, Eugene would knock him out and steal

his uniform. Once Eugene had cuffed the guard to the toilet, he would don the pilfered uniform

and take Shawn to the Vanguard laboratory and have him hack into the Vanguards' complex

programming, because Shawn was somewhat well versed in the art of computer hacking, and

was more suited to get the job done. Then, last but not least, Shawn would have the recently

reprogrammed machines set loose to go on a killing spree of the entire facility, all while they

made their escape back up topside to the nearest hub of civilization that they could find. The

first two steps of the plan went off without a hitch, but the third and final step had hit a few snags

in it's execution. First, Shawn had hit firewall after firewall trying to reprogram the high tech

androids from the terminal at the lab, and the process needed authorization from Dr. Director's

station at the G.J. mobile headquarters. Secondly, when he tried to hack into the G.J. global

mainframe and database the old school way, his access was denied every which way, and it

triggered a silent alarm at the command deck. Lastly, when he inserted a CD-ROM disc known

as the hacker's helper, which was a decoding and de-encryption disc that he brought with him,

it triggered a self activation failsafe in all of the Vanguards, causing them to come to life and

surround the inept criminal duo. When Eugene heard the sound of footsteps coming from all

sides around them, then stopping for what seemed to be forever, but was actually a few short

seconds, he turned around to see a whole squad of angry Vanguards that have ttransformed

their arms into weapons, and promptly fainted onto the floor seconds later. When Shawn heard

the thud of someone fainting, he twisted his chair around and now saw what had caused his

older brother to faint right away. The following is the only two words that came to Shawn's

mind when he faced this terrifying sight before him.

Shawn: (in total and complete terror) Aw shit!

With that, the Vanguards went about detaining their prisoners from escaping while G.J.'s

security officers took their time getting to the lab. Once Auntie Betty, who was escorted

by a team of armed guards, got to the scene of the crime, she saw the Vanguards standing

watch on the broterly duo of clueless criminals, who were hogtied together with an extra long

extension cord, the kind you would use to plug your electric powered lawn mower into the inside

of your own home with, that is, if yins wanna get technical. They were also gagged at the mouth

with a pair of robot polishing rags, to keep them from incriminating themselves even further.

Dr. Director: (while looking smugly at the pair) So, you two tried to reprogram these magnificent

machines without my security clearance or permission. Before I send the two of you to the brig,

I've got one question for the both of you. So tell me, how does it feel to be a pair of rocket

scientists?

After the two didn't answer, they were taken away to the detention center to await trial for this

recent crime. Once they were far away, the Vanguards had gone back into stand by mode,

awaitng their next orders to readily carry them out. As for Shawn & Eugene, they may never

get to see the light of the world outside of a prison ever again, but at least they'll now get three

hots and a cot each for practically nothing.

Well. K.P./K.R. fans, that does it for this chapter. As for Babs and her incessant

desire to control her nephew, that being Ron, and every aspect of his entire life,

plus her obvious dislike of Kim, I needed some sort of reason as to explain all of

that. Whst better way than to paint her as the black widow type who's kids end up

running her inheritance into the ground. As for the death of Gill, well I'll be totally

honest with you, when I was a kid, I saw a movie titled "The Return of Swamp

Thing", and thought that it was a cooler version of the classic story, "Beauty and

the Beast". Fast forward a decade or two later, and I see the Camp Wannaweep

episode of Kim Possible. When I see the mutated version of old fish breath, I had

literally thought that he was a rejected monster experiment from Antoine Arcane's

lab, and due to the sheer goofy looks of him, was not shown in "The Return of

Swamp Thing". He would've been an easy kill if he went toe-to-toe with good ol'

Swampy, plus, he didn't look scary enough to be in any incarnation of the Swamp

Thing franchise, not the comics, not the movies, not the live action T.V. show,

and not even the cartoon series. Hence Gill's gruesome death at the hands of

Ron. As for the Stoppable brothers turning into baddies, I just thought that I'd

give them a chance at it, but only for them to see the futility of their very first effort

in supervillainy, which also turned out to be their last, as the case may be.

Well, that's it for this chapter's closing notes, I want all of you to be excellent to

eachother, party on, dudes and dudettes, and remember to read, review, and

have an awesome holiday season. Later, Gators!


	10. Chapter 10

Hey there, Rider V3 Stoppable here with the basic review, overview, and disclaimer for the K.P./K.R. story thus far. First off, we left our heroes off at the successful completion of the second objective, and at least one painful and dramatic death of yet another K.P. villain, of whom was a mere guppy compared to all of the others. In case you're missing the hint that's hidden within that reference, you should read chapter nine first. Secondly, Dean and Jean play detective to solve the real cause of the demise of Dean's brother, and when Babs tries to attack in vain, she ends up getting tazed by Jean's very own Timex Tazer. Finally, when Shawn and Eugene try to tamper with my Vanguard androids, the androids strike back, and then call Auntie Betty in to lay down the law on them. Also, I end up blowing Shocker's own international headquarters up into smithereens as an added bonus. Oh boy, is Auntie Betty gonna flip her lid once I give her my field report. Speaking of which, here's the over view for this chapter. It starts off ironically enough when we give the boss lady of G.J. the field report on the mission's completion. Then, it segueys into the most un-lame victory party/proposal ever imagined, where I meet up with a little lady friend to call my own. Lastly, it snowballs into a massive invasion/infiltration/prison break, where all the criminals that we locked up are unleashed upon the unsuspecting refugees currently residing within "The Village". You will also see me and Team Possible, with the addition of our friend Takeshi, try to fend off the onslaught of escaped detainees, with one of us getting severely injured while in the process of getting the one we love out of harm's way. Which one of us will make an ultimate sacrifice in the name of the ones we love is anyone's guess, but you're gonna have to read this chapter to find out. Well, there's one more part of these author's notes, and it just so happens to be my least favorite. Yes, my friends, it's time for the super-awesome-legal- disclaimer-mega-fun-time-go. If you hadn't noticed, I wrote that sentence out of sheer sarcasm. Basically, I do not own the cartoon series, "Kim Possible", nor any of the feature length specials. If I did, it would've been five seasons long, with Kim & Ron dealing with the hardships of college life, as well as being engaged to marry each other. Sadly, it's owned by Bill Kopp, Robert Schooley, Mark McCorkle, and the Disney corporation. As for the famous Japanese television show, "Kamen Rider", that's owned by Bandai, Toei Company Ltd., the Adness Entertainment Group, ShoPro productions, and last but certainly not least, the late Ishinomori Shotarou. As always, please read, review, and support the official releases.

_**Chapter 10: E.T., we hardly knew you! (Wait, what?!)**_

After we make it back to "The Village" in one piece, we all commence with the friendly introductions of the Midorikawa family, and our broha from a Nihongo moha turned into our newest cyborg super soldier, Prof. Takeshi Hongo. Basically, it was the usual meet & greet session, followed by a full report on the second objective. Too bad that none of us got any sleep after wheezing on the munchage and primo juice. Lord, give us strength.

Dr. Director: (in an all too sincere yet official manner) Dr. Midorikawa, Mrs. Midorikawa, Ruriko-chan, and Hongo-hakase, I am Dr. Elizabeth Director, and on behalf of all of the staff of Global Justice, I welcome all of you to our underground facillity known only as "The Villge". We also wish to apologize for what The Shocker has done to you. If any of you have any inquiries, or any requests that you wish to address, please let us know at your own convenience.

Dr. Midorikawa: (in a mixture of relief and gratitude) Thank you very nuch, Dr. Director. If it hadn't been for Mr. Becker or Team Possible, we would've all shared a gruesome fate. Unfortunately, Prof. Hongo's body may never be the same again, but at least I can somehow attone for my part in this evil by turning state's witness against the fiends who have held us captive.

Ron: (in a forgiving manner) But they held your family hostage, Doc, and you had no hand in Takeshi's forced alterations in the first place. You did nothing wrong in this fiasco.

Dr. Midorikawa: (while addressing Ron in a somber and melancholy tone) If good men do nothing, then that is evil enough.

Kim: (with a clear and present tone of compassion) Ron's right about this, Doctor. You were forced into working for the Shocker, after you and your family were kidnapped. That, plus the fact that you weren't the one performing the operation which turned Prof. Hongo into a partially complete cyborg assassin working for those Neo-Nazi losers. So his body was turned into a weapon, so not the drama. At least his mind, heart, and soul are still very much human.

Dr. Midorikawa: (hanging his head in shame and remorse) I still feel that I'm responsible for what the Shocker has done to your friend, and that's mainly because I taught those beasts how to perform a full body prosthesis surgery. So you'll forgive me for my refusal of your kind words. As of now, I will no longer create cybernetic prosthetics, or for that matter, engage in anymore cybernetic organ & limb replacement surgeries ever again.

Takeshi: (positively fed up to no end with the doc's pity party) Ah, come on, Doc, you know full well that with Shocker around, this sort of thing was bound to happen. You also know that you can't just give up because of a sitch that was out of your control. If you really wanna give up what you love and are good at, then fine, none of us can stop you. But you'd better have a damned good reason other than "an evil organization had bullied me into perverting my technology, held my family hostage, and forced me to teach their people how to turn innocent victims into murderous cyborg assassins". As for myself, I'mma call up ol' "Tobey", let him in on the down low, and join Team Possible just to get a piece of the Shocker myself. Like a wise man once said to me, "you're only beaten if you think you are, and when even your gift becomes a curse, then only you can turn that curse into your gift, and that gift into your most powerful weapon".

E.T.: (while giving Takeshi a look of total shock and awe) Whoa, dude, did you just quote my first volume of Full Metal Samurai?

Takeshi: Just because it's a quote from your manga doesn't mean it isn't true. Now you guys fill the female Nick Fury in on what happened while I go help the Midorikawas get settled into their new place and fill Tobei in on what's going down.

E.T.: (while shrugging my shoulders) Eh, whatever floats your boat, Hongo-san.

Dr. Director: (blinking her good eye in disblief) I can't believe he just made me into a walking Marvel Comics reference, but now that's out of the way, I'm more than ready to hear about your report on the completion of your mission.

E.T.: (while giving a full on salute) Right, chief, Kimmy, why don't you go first, then I'll go after Ron's finished his field report.

Kim: (taking over with her field report) Thanks, E.T., once the three of us had infiltrated the west gate into the headquarters, the three of us decided to split up to cover more ground and fulfill our mission with expediance and efficiency. We all chose what part of the mission objective to fulfill, and mine was no big what so ever. It was simple, get to the doctor and the guinea pig, extract them, then get out while neutralizing any enemy opposition if we came across them. I had to take down a handful of Shocker Grunts before I got to the first pair of hostages, and I did it with maximum force and extreme prejudice. The extraction went without a hitch and we made it to the exit point. Ron, honey, why don't you pick up where I left off?

Ron: (while kissing Kim on her cheek) Gladly, my beautiful Kimila, you see, Betty, it all went down like this. As I was heading to the brig to rescue two more hostages, a bunch of those Shocker Grunts wearing their sketchy outfits, tried to jump me. I had to go agro on them and send some of them to the hospital, and a few more to the morgue. When I got to the captives, they were guarded by a couple more of those ding dongs. Of which I had to slice, dice, and juelienne into ribbons. After I freed the captives, I performed an ancient and secret Yamanouchi-ryu technique to make the three of us undetectable, then met up with K.P. at the exit point. It looks like you're up next E.T., care to take over here?

E.T.: (cool as a cucumber) Thank you, Ronald, as Ron and Kim were off doing their own thing, I had reached the munitions storage room. It was guarded by only two Quimbies in full-body spandex Shocker Grunt pajamas and recently recruited from the K.K.K., thus they had an I.Q. of a child of three years old. I opted for the psychological route, and tricked them into the belief that I was one of their compatriots from the Klan. After the success of which, I then pulled out my father's grenades and showed them to those losers, who then proceeded to run around like recently beheaded chickens until they fell into a crevace separating the munitions depot from the rest of the building. Once I hacked my way inside, I commenced taking photographs of the armaments inside. After I finished that part of my objective, I found an air vent that linked with the conference room adjoining the depot, but it was too high up, and the pipe near the air vent was too slim for me to shimmy up on. Fortunately, Ron had lent me Rufus for just such an occassion, and I gave him my I-phone to climb into the vent with and record the meeting between the mucky-mucks of Shocker and the whole of the Consortium of Crime, along with Jack Hench and Gemini. When Rufus came back, I linked said I-phone up with my BeckerCom and saved the reocrding on file.

Dr. Director: (was all smiles after hearing the field report) Good work, you three, but what about when you got to the extraction point?

E.T.: (I was sweating bullets as she asked that) Well, I kind of left a souvenir for the Shocker to remember me by, and then I ran like Jesse Owens in his prime to the exit point. Once I linked up with Team Possible, we got the hostages out of the building and to the evac point. I had Ron and the others wait there while I did a parameter check of the area, when all of a sudden, I spied a squad of Ritters being led by what was a cross between a river bass and an ugly, lanky looking teenager with Columbine fever. He spat some sort of a strange, green muck at me, but it missed, and I ran back to the evac point for back up. When I got there, I gave a detailed description of my would be assailant, and alerted Kim & Ron about the squad of Ritters. While Kim and I set up a defensive position around the non-combatants, Ron, of whom was accompanied by Takeshi Hongo, took up a combative stance when the freaky fish-boy and his squad of Ritters surrounded us. After Takeshi accessed his cybernetic combat systems, he and Ron then went totally agro on them, with the surviving Ritters running away and leaving the creature from the black lagoon all alone by his lonesome. Before he could round us up, Ron performed a Kamehameha wave on him, and it threw him through a row of trees, the impact of which had possibly killed him.

Dr. Director: (while raising her eyebrow) Go on, I'm listening.

Kim: You know, E.T., she doesn't need to hear this part.

E.T.: (looking like the sword of Damecles was looming over my head) Naw, it's okay, besides, the chief may find it to be something too fantastic and bizzarre to be believed.

Dr. Director: Well what is left to report, unless it's that you got one of their female operatives pregnant. Oh God, please tell me that's not what you did?

Ron: Nope, he was in radio contact with us, and it didn't sound like he was sexing up a female Shocker Grunt.

E.T.: Yeah, even I know that they're a bunch of frigid village bicycles, and that anyone that's ever ridden them before ended up with their nuts frozen to the seats.

Dr. Director: (with a sigh of relief) Oh, thank goodness for that, just what happened anyway?

E.T.: (well, here goes nothing) Okay, I'll tell you, but what I'm about to tell you must not leave this room. It's simply because what I have to tell you is so "explosive" and "volatile", and it is the result of a "Molotav Cocktail" of choices that I've made, and it wasn't under any of Team Possible's recommendations either.

Dr. Director: (raises an eyebrow again while taking a sip of her Earl Grey Tea) Are you coming on to me?

E.T.: (look out world, deadman walking on the green mile) No, the souvenir I left was a pair of nano-nuclear bombs of my own invention.

Dr. Director: (while spitting out her tea) YOU WHAT?

Yes, friends, I did it, I took the Lindeburg baby, I am just a mangler.

At the same time in Denver...

The explosion at S.P.C.'s international headquarters had made the top story on every news media outlet, and had resulted in a massive investigation of the blast site by every local, county, state, and even federal law enforcement agency within spitting distance. Even the C.D.C. and Osha had to be called in along with Hazmat teams. The resulting blast had also claimed the lives of numerous Shocker Grunts and W.E.E. agents. Basically, it was one big barbecued cluster fuck for the Shocker Empire. The subterrainean nuke however was not in the munitions depot fortunately, but the blast had revealed a hidden cache of military, naval, and even aerial assault vehicles that had been acquired during the S.P.C.'s run of national defense contracts. The main baddies were part of the privelaged few who had managed to escape, but only by the skins of their collective teeth. With two parts of my vendetta against the Mankeys finally realized though, I guess I can wait a little while longer to 86 them. Burton Mankey, however, was just stupified beyond belief. He not only had lost all of his funds and corporate subsidiaries, he also lost his family's corporate spearhead, and the secret cache of ordnance for Operation: Purification had just been uncovered. As for the others, they all watched as their great leader could only point his open hand towards the scene of the most devastating defeat he ever experienced, and make high pitched grunts as a response. The others had only looked on atop on a cliff with their Emperor, of whom was totally staring into space at the wreckage, his once proud and handsome visage adorned with bleached blonde hair and bejeweled with dark blue eyes now blankly watching the ruins of his now crumbling corporate empire.

Angela: (her voice tinged with hatred and anger) Becker!

Burton: (while still in deep shock) Huh!

Angela: It has to be Becker!

Burton: Huh!

Angela: (attempting to sound as compassionate as possible) Come with me, Honey, we'll take the Luftwaffe aerial command fortress to our secret base in Berlin, and then we'll make him pay for this.

As they headed for their aerial mobile command fortress, one of their grunts had decided to offer some advice.

Random Shocker Grunt: Whatever you do, Kaiser Mankey, don't turn around and go west.

Upon hearing this, Burton did turn around and ran westward, fearing for the worst and praying to Cthulu for the best. While the other villains followed suit, they started to show concern for their imperious leader and his declining state of mental health. When they finally reached the head if the Mankey family, he had stopped at a most gruesome sight to behold. It was Gill's corpse being devoured by hungry little ravens, as his body was still in the decomposition process. The stench of which was unbareable, and the trees that had fell during Gill's last hours on earth were a testament to Ron Stoppable's hidden and most destructive power. Many of the villains either lost their lunch, turned pale with fear while spasming in terror, or temporarily lost control of their bowels and bladders.

Adrena Lynn: (still recovering from the initial shock) Oh my God, they killed Gill!

Motor Ed: (while clenching his shaking fists in anger) YOU BASTARDS!

Burton: (drops to his knees and starts sobbing) EEEEYYYYAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

R.S.G.: I told you not to come this way.

Back at "The Villge"...

E.T.: (I'm wincing right about now) I just went with my gut instinct, and I was only doing my job. The way I figured it is that we had to goose them back for their attempted assault on "The Village". If you'd ask me, this only lets them know that we're not gonna take it.

As I awaited what was to become my fate, Auntie Betty simply sat back in her desk chair and adopted an authoritative expression on her face, one that apparently matched her current tone of voice for what she said next. It was directed towards Team Possible, and made me fear for my pension. Goodbye, G.J., and hello, unemployment!

Dr. Director: Kim, Ron, would you kindly wait outside of the room, please? I have something to discuss with Agent Becker pertaining to the mission report.

Kim: Anything you have to say about E.T.'s actions, you can say to us as well.

Ron: K.P.'s right, besides, we should've been watching him more closely. If we knew what he was going to do, or what he's capable of, we would've kept closer tabs on him.

Dr. Director: Do it or I'll put videos of what you do in your quarters up on every porn site in circulation.

Kim & Ron: (in unison) Later, E.T.!

As they said that, they went outside of the debriefing room to avoid the ire of the head of G.J., and to await word of my fate. It was like the crew and the passengers of the Titanic fleeing the ship, and leaving me, the captain, to sink with it. I was anticipating the standard issued two weeks notice speech, and from my adoptive aunt of all people. However, it never came, and that only served to frighten me even more.

Dr. Director: (in an eerily calm voice) So you know, Agent Becker, I'm neither angry at you, nor going to give you the "Two Weeks Notice" speech. I'm just surprised that somebody in this beauracracy finally had the big, brassy balls to put a hamper on Operation: Purification.

Wait a minute, was that a compliment that she gave me just now?

Dr. Director: (continuing where she left off) I mean, they were in posession of W.M.D.'s and had every intent on utilizing them for Operation: Purification, so in essense, you went with your gut instinct and reacted with the best course of action. Because of this, we at the Global Justice organization are proud to have you as an agent, and I'd like to state for the record that I'll personally recommend you for command of your own unit as a Senior Agent.

E.T.: (blinking in surprise upon hearing the news) So just because I've plunged the whole world into W.W.3, turn a corporation that killed my dad into the quintessential enemy of all of humanity, piloted a giant robot that I personally invented for myself, and blew up the bad guy's base of operations, you're gonna give this no class beaten down fool a command position, and a promotion.

Dr. Director: (without batting her eye lash) Basically, yes, but you did contradict the chain of command. So going over my head on this could in fact make your term as Senior Agent into a probationary term. This could last a couple years or so, but I think you can take it.

E.T.: (starting to feel relieved and proud of myself) You mean I get to be a real agent, like a really, really, really real agent? Who in God's green earth do I have to kill?

Dr. Director just laughed lightly at my recent enthusiasm which was evident on my face as I let out my best shit eating grin. What she told me next floored me like a bulldozer going at a warp factor of ten.

Dr. Director: Nobody yet, because as of now, you and Team Possible are on vacation for three whole weeks, and it's all fully paid, so y'all can go take a furlough outside of "The Village" if you wish. We can even go off red alert status now, and with the Shocker on the defensive, it's only a matter of time before we catch the Mankey family with their pants down.

E.T.: (in a renewed sense of confidence) Betty, babe, if I was your Canadian super-secret agent boyfriend right about now, I'd french ya' so hard that you'd literally be playing tonsil hockey with me. Thanks for everything, and tell Uncle Joe that I said, "pigs fly, and I said 'hi'".

As I was walking out the orifice, Kim & Ron were waiting outside with a grim expression on each of their faces, and it looked like they've been pacing around like the anxious father, waiting for the mother to give birth to their child. When I came out, they clamoured to me like a pair of teenage fans waiting for David Cloverdale to come and sign their autograph books. If y'all don't know who in the blue blazes that guy is, then google the band "White Snake".

Kim: (while holding out some form of optimism) So, E.T., how did it go with Dr. Director?

E.T.: (hanging my head low to hide the smile on my face) Well, I got good news and bad news. The bad news is that I can't be a field agent anymore.

Ron: (so totally bummered out by this) Aw, man, you were a damned good agent too.

E.T.: (bringing my head up to show my shit eating grin to the world) That's beacause I just made Senior Agent for blowing up the Chez Mankey.

Kim & Ron: (in surprised unison) You're a what now?

E.T.: Jinx, you owe me an uber-pwnage engagment party, now let's gather everyone and have ourselves a champagne jam.

Ron: You mean you didn't get the two weeks notice?

E.T.: Nope, I just got promoted, and you know what that entails, it means that I can build my very own unit and stomp some skulls on the worst criminal offenders in existence.

Kim: That's so hurricane rock in Madison Square Garden Live, I'm sure your dad would be proud of you if he were still alive today.

Meanwhile, in the Luftwaffe...

Burton was pulling his hair out from the follicles because of this defeat, in fact, he was pacing to and fro in a side to side motion. The formerly cool, calm, and collected evil overlord had even resorted to talking to himself in German, of which is a clear sign that it was not safe to get within close range of the now insane madman. All that his family could do was watch as he stormed from one side of the command bridge to the other, then all of a sudden, a Shocker Grunt had the foolish idea of walking up to the deranged emperor. It was only to get him to calm down enough to slowly remove him from the bridge, and to the emperor's personal quarters to rest up to recover some semblence of rational thought, but the emperor was too lost in his own crumbling psyche.

Burton Mankey: _(thinking his insane thoughts) Why is it that no matter what I try, no matter how I plan things, Team Possible, and their G.J. agent friend, always had the upper hand in our battles? Now my company's totally bankrupt, our public image tarnished, and I've even surrounded myself with idiotic bunglars who can't even get the simplest orders right. Has the great Emperor Draculoid lost his touch?_

All of sudden, nightmarish voices from inside his own maddening mind had unveiled themselves to the would be dictator. This only served to worsen his already growing madness.

Nightmare Voice #1: _It is because your company has murdered and corrupted thousands upon thousands of innocent people, and all of it was to line your pockets with their money, money that now runs red with their very blood. THAT is one of a myriad of reasons as to why you've been thoroughly ruined._

N.V. #2: _E.T.'s right about that, plus the fact that the fruit of your very loins is no more than a common criminal, one who is so incompetent, that a mere toddler can outwit him on the fly. Though my boyfriend has already bested him, it became evident that your eldest son was a suicidal masochist, and had to be rendered immobile on a permanent basis. This was, of course, the only way to keep him from hurting himself, especially since Joshua had learned that my beloved had blew him out of the running for whom would be claiming my virginity._

N.V. #3: _My Kimila has a point there, as he threatened to end her life, but the sheer look of terror on Josh's face when he learned that I was a far superior combatant/protector for her, and the expression on it when he realized that I could very well kill him. THAT was a helluva rush. Now that the whole truth about you is out, there's gonna be a lot of happy inmates lining up at his bed, and all of them looking to tear up his tight, little, Neo-Nazi ass. They're waiting to blow their loads all over his insides, but you could've prevented all of this had you only repented for the sins of your own father, Augustus Mankey, or should we say Gustav Mankenheimer._

Burton:_ No, it can't be Becker and Team Possible, you're not inside my head, you can't be, y-you just can't._

The Nightmare E.T., Kim, and Ron:_ (in three part unison) Oh, but it is, and we're here to take you and the rest of your family straight on down to hell, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

Burton: (after coming out of his trance) NNNNNNOOOOOOO!

Angela: (in a show of genuine concern) Burton, sweety, calm down, you're safe here, you were only daydreaming.

Alek: I think your brain's broken, dad.

Burton: (after shaking his head clear and taking a few deep breaths) I apologize for that tiny and isolated outburst, it won't happen again.

Random Shocker Grunt: (coming up behind Burton to lead him to his quarters) That's okay, Herr Mankey, why don't I just help you to your room for a nice na...

It was at that moment that Burton Mankey had turned around and fired his Barretta at point blank range between the eyes at the head of said R.S.G., killing him instantaneously on the spot. Happy that he blew off some steam, Mankey had then holstered his gun and turned to his family.

Burton: (in a calmer tone of voice) I'll be in my personal quarters taking a nap, to help clear my thoughts and plan our next assault. If you need me, let me know, but I warn you that I'll put the "Do not disturb" sign on the door. If you disturb me from my napping, I'll kill you, and then feed your remains to my pet pirahnas.

After Burton had left for his nap, the others went on with their own duties after disposing the corpse. All of the while, they were beginning to question the sanity if their leader, as well as the success of their mission. The unsurrmountable futility of it all was becoming more and more apparent, and increasing exponentially with each passing day. Well, that's enough about "Bats-in-the-belfry" Burton, let's see how things are on our end.

Back at "The Village"...

With the Shocker having all of their plans as of yet being F.U.B.A.R. to no end, we at "The Village" were given a rare luxury of some down time. We even converted the food court into a makeshift banquet hall for the big pre-victory party, and stocked up on all of the nessesary items on the list. International cuisine for the food, decorations of both handmade and store bought natures, even a kick ass karaoke system and a totally tubular D.J. station, and a sound system that would make George Lucas cream his pants. All in all, we were fully decked out in our own party gear and ready to party like it's 2013, which is the end of the world on the old Mayan calender. As the final touches for the party were made, the whole of "The Village" was in attendance for the biggest block party of the century. As Auntie Betty took to the podium, everyone present at the food court listened in with rapt attention for the following announcements.

Dr. Director: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, to the pre-victory party for our war on the Shocker. I am your hostess, Dr. Elizabeth Director, and I've some wonderful news for all in attendance on this very night. After 05:23 hours as of this morning, the S.P.C. international corporate headquarters has been destroyed, on the grounds that it was one of many W.M.D. stockpiles for the Shocker terrorist sect around the world. Upon recieving a full field report from Team Possible, of whom was accompanied by Agent E.T. Becker, I have relayed the order to follow suit to our allied contingents all over the globe. After destroying all of the remaining hidden stockpiles, I'm very pleased to report that Operation: Purification was averted, but the subterrainean nuke remains at large however. Still, this is a cause for celebration, because we're one step closer to defeating the Shocker and all of it's allies, and it was quite the enormous step in the right direction. Now that the threat level has been dramatically reduced, I'm happy to say that you may return to your homes at anytime you wish, and we have our three heroes to thank for this smashing success. First off, we have our resident technical expert, avante garde tactician, and our very own mech pilot, Agent Becker, whose tireless efforts in bringing the Shocker down had produced some of the most amazing victories, and earned him the rank of Senior Agent First Class.

As I stepped up onto the stage, Auntie Betty came up to me and shook my hand, and draped a solid gold medallion on a simple blue ribbon around my neck. I even put on the dog for this evening by wearing the same old semi-formal tuxedo that I wore to my graduation prom, which really made quite an impression.

Dr. Director: I spoke with G.J.'s chiefs of staff, and had a private pow-ow with the U.N., congratulations.

E.T.: (totally stoked beyond belief) Whoa, thanks, Auntie Betty.

Dr. Director: (continuing with the ceremony) Next and foremost, is Kim Possible, who has been fighting against the villains of the world for three years straight, and her partner in the Team Possible roster, Ron Stoppable, the chosen one of Yamanouchi, and the man who had singlehandedly defeated the threat of the Lowardian invaders. Together, through their own dedication to ensure the stability of the world, and the safety of everyone around them, they have shown that there's no stopping them, because anything is possible.

As Auntie Betty had continued her speech, both Kim & Ron eyed each other up and down. While Kim wore her hair back in a ponytail and opted to don her little black dress, with matching high heeled pumps, Ron had slicked his hair back and wore the same tux that he had for their graduation prom. The two mouthed to each other the words "I love you" and held hands as Auntie Betty donned the same kind of medallion around each of their necks.

Dr. Director: Congratulations to the both of you, I'm sure your families are proud of you.

Kim: Thanks, Dr. Director, this mission was no big, especially with E.T. giving us back up.

Ron: Yeah, he basically did all of these beyond chauncy things all on his own, we were just the support team on this one.

Dr. Director: Now that our heroes have been duely rewarded, let us begin the festivities, that is of course, unless there's anyone that wishes to make an announcement right this minute.

Ron: Actually, there's just one thing that I'd like to officiate before this ceremony's finally adjourned.

As Ron had said that, he got down on one bended knee and pulled out a tiny box from his pants pocket. All of the while, the entire crowd were all surprised by this display, but Kim had known for certain what he was about to do: Propose to her in public.

Ron: Kim, we've known each other since we were in kindergarten, grew up together, and had our share of ups and downs together, all while saving the world on a daily basis. Now that the world is changing, we've changed with it, and became a true couple because of those changes. The changes that have occurred out there in the world we live in, and in here, our very hearts and souls.

As Ron had said the last part of that sentence, he put his open hand on his heart, showing Kim and the rest of the crowd just how much he had matured in the days after this whole entire debauchle began. Then, with one smooth movement, he had opened the tiny, little box, of which contained the very engagement ring that he had kept a secret. The very ring that was a gift given to them after the Middleton Jewlers incident.

Ron: Kimberly Ann Posible, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife and bashert, to have and to hold, to love, honor, and cherish, till death do us part.

Kim: (crying tears of joy and love) Are you kidding me, yes I'll marry you, and I'd do it a billion times over if it were possible. I love you so much, Ron.

With that, Kim gladly accepted the ring as Ron placed it on her ring finger for all of the world to see. All of their friends, including myself, gave the loving duo a rousing applause for their impending nuptuals. Now that the pivotal romantic moment has drawn to fruition, let's turn on some kick-ass tunes and crank the volume to eleven, because it's time to party like there's no tomorrow.

_**"Like a G6" by Far East Movement**_

Once the party began, good ol' Rufus started on weezing on the cheese fondue, while everyone else was busy rubbing elbows with one another and dancing like no one was watching. All of the while, Kim & Ron were busy sucking face, and caressed each other's backs well above the waist. In the mean time, their `rents were busy looking at their oldest children with doting expressions on each of their faces.

James: Well. Dean, I guess there's no need for me to worry about Ron breaking my little Kimmy-cub's heart. I still can't help that I'll miss my only daughter, with her growing up before my very eyes and all.

Dean: Nonsense, James, you're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son, my... only... begotten... son.

After that exchange, the two fathers had taken to hugging each other and crying joyful and bittersweet tears of happiness. Upon seeing this, I only have one thing to say: No Homo!

Jean: So now that the Shocker is close to being crushed and my little Ronnie going off to collage and marrying Kim, I guess Dean and I could finally get started on rebuilding his eldest brother's law firm from the ground up. We could even get our nephew from my side of the family, Reuben, to help fix the damage done to the company's treasury. What do you think, Anne?

Anne: I wouldn't know much about the legalities of it, other than the penalties for such crimes I'm afraid, being that I'm only a neurosurgeon. Ergo, I'm only concerned with medical malpractice suits, no offense, Jean. I'm just more concerned about all of the backlash that G.J. and our oldest children had garnered from the Mankey family. I mean, who would've thought that their family's patriarch was a Nazi war criminal passing himself off as an American citizen, or that S.P.C. was actually a cover for a modern day underground third reich movement, or said Nazi war criminal was responsible for so many deaths in your family.

Jean: (as cool as ice) I'm not worried about that, besides, do the Shocker have their own giant robot complete with a mech pilot, or their own army of super sentient, artificially intelligent, nanomorphic android soldiers, or my son's unique gifts of M.M.P.? I don't think so.

James: (while sobbing like a schoolboy) I love you, man!

Dean: (also sobbing) You're still not getting my Bud Light, James.

Anne: (while rubbing the back of her head) Jean, how come some men are born with less and less intelligence quotients than others?

Jean: (while shrugging her shoulders) I don't quite rightly know, Anne, could be bad genetics I guess.

In the meantime, me and all of Team Possible's friends, including his highness, President Wally of Rhodigan, were all gathered around me as I regaled them as to my favorite moments from this whole ordeal, including my recent promotion to Senior agent.

President Wally: (with a rapt look in his eyes) So let me get this straight, you're not only a secret agent for G.J., but also a Manga-ka, child protege in inventing, hacker extrordinaire, olympic martial artist, and mech pilot.

E.T.: That's right, your highness, I'm also on a personal quest to avenge my father's death. As you can see, I've done it all. So far everything is going our way, and if we can capitalize on Shocker's recent humiliation, we will win this war and hopefully prevent the deaths of anymore good people.

Monique: Well if everything is beginning to wind down in ths Shocker sitch, I'm sure it'll be only a matter of time before they're captured.

Brick: I still can't believe that two G.J.A.'s and your own little brother had been involved in the whole "Operation: Purification" scheme.

E.T.: It's a sad truth, but them's the dice we roll in the spy game, the good ones die as loyalists and heroes, and those that go rogue benefit from it. The only way you can keep it from ever happening to you is to stay one step ahead of the enemy, like in the game of chess. As for myself, I like to stay on step six.

Steve Barkin: Now that's the way you get them, just like your old man.

E.T.: (surprise, someone knew my dad) You mean you knew my father, Mr. Barkin?

Steve: Yep, he was my C.O. back in Vietnam, and y'all don't have to be so formal, you can call me Steve, Agent Becker sir.

As he said that, he gave me a full on salute and shook my hand. Contrary to popular belief, peace time hasn't weakened his grip.

E.T.: (grinning warmly right at him) Only if you call me E.T., Steve.

After that pleasant exchange, the whole lot of us continued to converse on what we'd do when and if the Mankey Family was ever captured, and how things were going with our families and such. Then all of a sudden, I spied a sweet looking blonde who was 5'6", had blue eyes that shined like sapphires, and a styling lab coat that hid her excellent figure. She also wore a beautiful pair of wire frame spectacles on her perfectly gorgeous face, which was like something right out of a fashion magazine. This lady was the total package for me, brains and beauty all wrapped up in a nice. attractive bundle. Oh man, somebody play an Usher Raymond song for me, because I got it bad.

_**(You got it bad: by Usher)**_

Duder, truer words were never spoken. The reason being is that I've started falling for some girl who just might have all of the same interests that I have, looks like a perfect ten in my book, and she's looking straight at me with her cute angelic face showing nothing but love and affection towards me, like I was her latter day prince charming, and she was my uber-smart and sexy sleeping beauty. Wait a minute, she's looking at me with hearts in her eyes? Oh, sweet baby Jesus! I felt like I had been thrown to the nearest wall possible, then I got bounced off of it, and finally landed face down on the floor like I had went through a big old hurricane that rocked me out of my socks.

E.T.: (as I was getting back up onto my feet) Sorry about that, I fell. Just who is that vision of beauty that's right before my very eyes?

Felix: (looks at me with knowledge of what I'm going through) Sounds like you've just had a Garth Algar moment to me.

E.T.: (with a look of sarcasm on my face) Gee, ya' think?

Tara: (giving me the lowdown) Her name's Justine Flanner, and she used to be on our cheer team before we graduated. Her main interests are advanced physics, technology, and astronomy, and as an added bonus, she works as an interm over at the Middleton space research center. Why do you ask?

E.T.: (with tiny cartoon hearts in my eyes) Why didn't yins tell me that Middleton was the babe epicenter of the entire world?

Monique: (with only a miniscule bit of sass) You never asked, and here I thought you were an actual genius.

E.T.: Oh man, I feel like I'm gonna hurl and cough up lung butter whenever I look at her. Does anyone have some advice for me?

Brick: (ala Mike Myers from Wayne's World) I'd say hurl. If you spew and she stays, she's yours, Dude. If she bails, then it wasn't meant to be.

E.T.: (blanching at Brick) Are you crazy? I'm looking to woo her, not gross her out. Besides, I'm a nerd, and I need to wait till I'm comfortable with myself first.

Tara: (with all the sagely wisdom of a zen master) Look, E.T., it's perfectly obvious that you two like each other, why don't you just go talk to her?

After that, what the esteemed Miss King had said started to reverberate in my head as I entered into a dream like trance, and started hearing an old Jimi Hendrix song playing in my mind.

E.T.: (while daydreaming) _**A-you know you're a cute little heart breaker, hah, foxy! And you know you're a sweet little love maker, hah, foxy!**_

While I was doing a Dana Carvey inspired dance, my hips started thrusting in and out in a very suggestive manner. After weighing the options, I decided to just roll with it.

E.T.: (while continuing singing) _**I wanna take you home, yeah. I won't do you no harm. You've gotta be mine, all mine. Whoo, foxy lady, here I come, baby. I'm coming to get ya'.**_

As I had drawn in to where Justine was standing, she started to come closer and closer to me, our faces so close to each other that our lips nearly touched. Then, just about when Justine was about to give me the mother of all frenchers, the dream had faded, and reality had to rear it's ugly head again. God, don't y'all hate it when that happens to you? This is why I'm writing this fan fiction.

President Wally: (with much chagrin and sarcasm) Well, if you're not going to talk to her, I guess I'll have to take her off your hands.

E.T.: (masking my venom with a well mannered decorum) Pardon me, your highness, but who's the G.J. agent with videos of your rowdy behavior at all of the local nightclubs in the entire land of Rhodigan?

President Wally: (starts to quiver in fear) I'll leave her be then. Now if you all would please excuse me, I need to use the restroom. Good evening to you all.

As the would be president of Rhodigan had taken his leave, I could not help but wear an evil, mischevious little smirk from knowing that I've taken care of one obstacle in my path to find true love, now if only I could get rid of my crippling shyness.

Tara: (pleasantly surprised by my actions) Wow, which side of whose bed did you wake up from this morning, E.T.?

E.T.: (with all of the honesty of a boy scout) None, it's just that I've been running on nothing but caffiene since I got in this morning, which would explain me rambling off topic without full control of THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE.

Brick: (in an inquisitive nature) Well, are you gonna muster the juegos to go and talk to Justine, or do we all have to play the devil's advocate?

E.T.: (still stuck in self doubt) I dunno, I'm still a little nervous, and I guess that's probably why I'm gonna die a virgin.

Steve: (grabs me by the shoulders for the most epic pep talk EVER) THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD ALL I CAN STANDS, AND I CAN'T STANDS NO MORE! Listen, E.T., when you were growing up, what was it that you wanted to be the most when you grew up?

E.T.: (looking at Steve like he's psycho) I wanted to be a secret agent.

Steve: (goes all commando on me) And now that you've achieved your life's goal, what else do you want from it?

E.T.: (gaining more confidence as he went along) I wanna meet a nice girl, fall in love, get laid, get engaged, get laid some more, get married, get fucking munted, and then, when the honeymoon is over, raise a family of my own.

Steve: (continues with his pep speech) Well, you're not gonna do any of that by just sitting on the sidelines, sometimes, when oppurtunity is at your door, ya' just gotta reach out and take it. I mean you have a triple black belt, a college degree in comic book art from Tokyo, cowboy skills that put Buffalo Bill Custer to shame, your own giant humanoid mech war machine, natural talents for invention and computer hacking, and a command position in Global Justice that even James Bond would kill for. Now, what does #007 have that you don't? I'll tell you right now, a dead wife, a boat load of venerial diseases from sleeping with cheap floozies, and no respect from the people he works with, not to mention the grey hairs growing all over his body. In my book, you trump him on all counts of awesomeness on so many levels, now you're gonna court that little lady, and that's an order. Do you understand me?

E.T.: (with eyes opened wide in sudden realization) All of it, Steve, but I just have one question.

Steve: If it's about having Wade pull your G.J. profile up, then all I have to say is that's classified information, and is to be disclosed on a need to know basis. Right now you don't need to know about it, but you do need to grow some balls or else someone will steal her from under your nose. Now go get her, Tiger.

Just then, he let go of my collar so that I could fulfill my new life's mission, to woo the panties off of the most beautiful woman that I've ever layed eyes upon. Say what you will about Asst. Principal Steve Barkin, but the dude definately knew his stuff.

E.T.: (turning back before wooing Justine) Is Steve always like this?

Tara, Monique, Brick, & Felix: (in a four-part-deadpanned unison) Always!

As I made my way to where Justine was standing, I could swear I heard a symphony of angels playing Beethoven's "Ode to joy" with a full choir singing the vocals in a-minor. Please let this be real life. All of a sudden, she was looking straight into my eyes, and I was looking into hers as well. Neither of us were running away from one another, instead, we were drawn to each other. Just as we got close enough that we could touch one another within arms length, I tried to introduce myself, but I found myself tongue tied.

E.T.: Hello, I'm Agent you nice, it's Edward to meet Becker.

Justine: (while laughing lightly, and it is sexy) Excuse me, but what did you just say?

Why do I have a hard time picking up women, especially ones whom I could share an intellectual conversation about the advancement of technology and it's effects on modern day civilization with, and has the face of an angel and the body of a Sports Illustrated supermodel? I ask you that, dear readers, and I'll tell you the answer now, it's mainly due to my crippling shyness towards women that I happen to be completely attracted to on all levels imaginable. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such good manners, and that I could be as big a douche as Colin Farrell. Wait a minute, that's actually a terrible thing to say about myself. Why would I say that?

E.T.: (recovering from my bout of "puppy love") I'm sorry, it's just that I'm stunned by your beauty that I ended up tongue tied, what I meant to say was, "my name is Agent Edward Becker", and that, " it's nice to meet you."

To further illustrate my great affection towards this beautiful young woman, I lift her hand up to my lips and kiss it. I bet not even James Bombed could top that, even on one of his good days.

Justine: (with a cute little blush on her face) Awww, that's actually the sweetest thing I've ever heard, thank you very much, handsome. By the way, my name's Justine Flanner, and it's a real honor to meet a bonafide G.J. Agent.

E.T.: (while tipping my Stetson hat to her) Aw shucks, I'm just an overgrown otaku cleverly disguised as an agent, but enough about me, I'd like to hear all about what you do for a change.

Justine: (with a sense of modesty) Well, it's nothing as glamorous as building gadgets for Global Justice, but I'm a research interm for the Middleton Space Research Center, which is kind of impressive seeing as I only just graduated from high school this very year.

E.T.: (while visibly impressed) That's amazing, you must be real knowledgeable in the field of advanced astro-physics then, perhaps we could converse some more while we cut a little rug on the dance floor. That is, if you'd care to join me for a dance or two.

Justine: (A.S.A.P., as smitten as possible) That actually sounds good to me, lead the way, Cowboy.

E.T.: As you wish, ma'am, but I gotta warn you, the Texas Two-step is the only dance that I know, and I'm none too good at that either.

As the two of us made our way to the dance floor, we were being watched by all of our friends and colleagues, many of whom had a girlfriend or boyfriend, or about to get one, or were still looking for that perfect someone for that matter. These people were happy for the both of us, and wanted to wish us all the best. Would somebody do a guy in love a favor, and please lay down a righteously romantic country song for me?

**("When you kiss me like that" by Toby Kieth)**

Thank you very much.

While we were dancing, the two of us talked about our common interests. For example, we're both otaku and die hard action cinema fans, and that our favorite food is nacos. Yep, we were just a couple of starcrossed lovers who've finally found one another, and nothing was gonna seperate us, not even the Shocker.

Justine: (amazed at my dancing skills) For someone who claims to have two left feet, you're pretty light on your toes, Cutie.

E.T.: (acting kinda' bashful) Well, I did study Miyagi-do karate under Sensei Daniel LaRusso, but you however, dance divinely. You're like poetry in motion.

Justine: (as the music died down) Awww, that's so sweet of you to say that. However, the real credit goes to my cheer squad, of whom I was a card carrying member of until I had recently graduated.

Holy cow, it looks like the nerd of nerds himself has just scored a cheerleader, sweet baby Jesus, please be eighteen.

Justine: (adding on in her narrative) Oh, by the way, I had just turned eighteen a few months ago, so if you want, I could give you a private "demonstration" of my cheerleading skills if you'd like.

Thank you, Lord.

E.T.: (nasal sanguination on high) Uhhh...sure, why not, this place has a gym area that's more than adequate.

Justine: (giggling like a school girl at my innocence) No, silly, the "demonstration" is in my personal quarters.

If this doesn't have nerds like me pitching tents like the Barnum & Bailey Circus right about now, what she says next is a surefire way raise up some flags.

Justine: (hands me her spare key card while whispering in my ear) Meet me up there in five minutes, and don't worry, I'll bring the Cool Whip and Hershey's chocolate syrup.

E.T.: (in a dumbfounded stupor) Hummina hummina hummina...

As she walked away to get everything set for what would be the most epic night in my entire life, I actually found myself speechless, and totally incapable of rational thought. Just then, my two best buddies in the world walked up behind me. I didn't know it at first, because I was still in a deep shock at my current situation.

Ron & Kim: (in unison while trying to shake the shock outta' me) Hey there, E.T.!

E.T.: (jumping up in fright while turning to see who it is) **SONOFAGUNDAM! **Never sneak up on me like that again. How do I know you two aren't sucking face with each other when you do that?

Ron: (trying to look apologetic, but ended up laughing instead) What, I'm sorry, but what!? I'm sorry, hermano, but after seeing you snag a honey of your own without even trying, we thought you could use a little goosing.

E.T.: (starting to get nervous) You mean that the two of you saw the whole thing?

Kim: (just stating the facts) Basically, yeah, we kind of did. Who could blame her though? I mean, she did grow up hearing about the exploits of legendary super hacker "Shadow Warrior", and became enamored with him and obsessed with finding out who he really is.

Ron: (picking up where Kim left off) Plus, she's also a big fan of all of your mangas and such. She even began to fall head over heels in love with you, and promised to herself that whomever she met up with first will not only be her first time, but also her full time lover as well.

E.T.: (my eyes are bugging out right about now) You mean that the hot n' nerdy cheerleader I was crushing on is a fangirl who found out that the manga-ka that I am and my computer hacking handle are one and the same, and wants to lay me because of it? Well why didn't you say so!

Kim & Ron: (in a deadpanned unison) You never asked.

I was so blown away by this discovery that I almost forgot to jinx those two, almost.

E.T.: Jinx, you guys owe me a naco.

Kim: Look, do you want to follow the girl you've been crushing on, or are you just going to stand there and twiddle your thumbs?

E.T.: (looking at Team Possible with uncertainty in my eyes) I'd like to, but...well...you must promise to never tell another soul about this, because this is a personal thing that I've been going through since I was seventeen.

Kim & Ron: (in a sympathetic unison) We promise to never tell another soul.

E.T.: (starting to relax a little bit more) Okay, here it goes. Guys, I'm a virgin, and I've never even been kissed by a women other than my mom or sisters before. I was hoping you guys would be able to offer a guy like me some advice on this matter.

Ron: (looks positively surprised at me) E.T., you're really a virgin, that's great, man. I mean, I never imagined that a strong and handsome guy like you would be a virgin.

E.T.: Yeah yeah yeah, just keep the volume down, okay. But anyway, do either of you have any good advice that I can use?

Ron: (with his right index finger and thumb rubbing his chin in deep thought) Let's see here, if you wanna court the little lady, an epic date out is the best option. If it's on short notice, then a bouquet of roses, a bowl of strawberries, and a fondue pot full of some melted chocolates. That always helps.

E.T.: (absorbing all of this like a sponge) Yeah, roses and a double shot of passion foods, anything else I should know about?

Kim: (starts her Yoda type speech) Yeah, just a couple things. 1. Just relax, be yourself, and don't take it too seriously, women like men with a certain confidence about themselves. 2. Don't rush things, just take it nice & slow, this is your first time after all. 3. Remember that since it's the very first time for the both of you, neither of you need to do anything that you don't want to. You don't have to do everything all at once in one night.

E.T.: (looking increduously at Team Possible) That's it, that's all I have to do?

Kim: (nodding in agreement) Basically, yeah, follow those three steps and you'll be a guaranteed Don Juan in no time.

Ron: (with a smile of pride) Now go and make your dear old dad proud, broha!

When Ron had slapped me on the back, I knew he was giving me a boost of encouragement to go and chase my new dream, which was to find love out there in this wild and crazy world. After I bid farewell all of my new friends, I went to get the following for the most unlame night in my entire life: a bouquet of roses, some chocolate, a bunch of strawberries, a fondue pot, some K.Y. lubricant, a box of Trojans, a change of clothes, some toiletries like a tooth brush and shit, a thing of Tic-Tacs, and last but not least, my 1957 cherry red Les Paul hollow bodied six string with a travel amp. Yep, I'm all ready to go, so lets jet and get to Justine's place.

At Justine Flanner's quarters, "The Village"

Before I got up there, I took the liberty of writing down and memorizing a groovy pick up line through my BeckerCom, and even went as far as to check my breath and chewed up two Tic-Tacs as a precaution. Though my outer appearance was cool, calm, and collected, I was a bundle of nerves on the inside. Still, this was to be my night, the night, that Edward Thurston Becker finally gets the girl. Dad, if you're watching over me, and if you're listening, wish me luck. As I got up to the door amd knocked on it, I could hear Justine's footsteps as she came to the door to let me in, along with that heavenly voice of hers telling me to wait a minute as she was doing so. When she opened the door, I was treated with the sight of her in a pink satin robe and lingere straight out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. What's this woman trying to do to me, give me a freaking heart attack by showing me how sexy she is?

Justine: (with a sweet and seductive tone) Oh, it's you, Edward. Please, come inside and make yourself at home.

E.T.: (tipping my stetson hat) Thank you kindly, Justine. As you can see, I've taken a few liberties to prepare in advance for the night ahead of us.

Justine: (wearing a knowledgeable smirk on her face) So I see, I can tell from all of the baggage you've been carrying. The thing that eludes me is how you learned to play guitar. Just where and when did you learn it anyway?

E.T.: Well if you must know, my uncle, Bruce, taught me the basics of strumming on the old six-string, and when I went to Tokyo to become a Manga-ka, I learned some of the more advanced stuff from artists and bands like Guitar Wolf, Hyde, and even Tak Matsumoto.

Justine: (starts having a J-rock fangirl moment) You mean you also learned from J-rock legends from all over Japan, that's amazing, I love J-rock!

E.T.: (Nappa; Vegeta, what's the scouter say about this puny human's confidence level? Vegeta: IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAND! Nappa: What, nine thousand?) Yeah, I even jammed with X/Japan a few times before leaving for the states, and believe me when I say this, those guys are the epitomy of cool. They even bought this awesome retro Les Paul for me as a going-away present.

As I pull out my guitar out, Justine stared in rapt awe at the beauty of such an instrument. Needless to say, she was speechless, impressed, infatuated, and physically attracted all at the same time. As the famous Jack Black would say at a time like this, "women go crazy for two things, a fucking epic guitar and a sharp dressed man", and I was rocking both that night.

Justine: (thinking) _Okay, Justine old girl, take a couple of deep breaths. It's not everyday that you find out that the men of your dreams are one and the same person, as well as being a nerdy and adorable Chuck Norris with an Olympic gold medal in Kendo, his own giant mech, and guitar skills that rival the great Tomoyasu Hotei, complete with a cherry red 1957 hollow bodied six-string made by Les Paul. Oh God, I'm so crushing on him something major fierce, because I wanna save a horse right now and ride that uber sexy cowboy all night long. God, why didn't you tell me that Pittsburgh was Boy-toy central for the entire Earth?_

E.T.: If you'd like, I could play one of their songs for you. It'd be no trouble at all, because I know this song pretty much off by heart.

Justine: (looks at me with surprise on her face) Really, you'd serenade me with a song from one of the most epic J-rock bands ever?

E.T.: (while wearing a confident smile on my face) But of course, I've gotta warn you though, this is one of the most romantic songs in their repitoire.

Justine: (thinks about it for only a second, then decides) Okay, but I think we'd better sit down before we do anything else.

E.T.: (sitting down on the loveseat after setting my guitar up) Way ahead of ya', beautiful, I'm ready whenever you are.

As I strap on the guitar and get my lucky guitar pick out, Justine watches me with desire in her eyes. Something tells me I'm about to get layed from this one act alone, and I am so digging the fact that a girl is looking at me like a Bon Jovi groupy would for Jon Bon Jovi.

E.T.: This song is called "Forever Love", by X/Japan, and it's from "X: The Movie". I hope you'll enjoy it.

As I strummed the first arpaggio of the song, I swore I could hear two sounds coming from Justine: 1. Her heart skipping a beat or two. 2. Her panties being drenched.

E.T.: (singing) _**Mou hitori de arukenai. Toki no kaze ga tsuyosugite. Ah, kizutsuku koto nante nareta hazu, dakedo ima wa...ah, kono mama dakishimete, nureta mama no kokoro wo. kawari tsudzukeru kono toki ni kawaranai ai ga aru nara, will you hold my heart namida uketomete? Mou koware sou na all my heart. Forever love, forever dream, afureru omoi dake ga hageshiku setsunaku jikan wo umetsukusu, oh, tell me why? All I see is blue in my heart. Will you stay with me kaze ga sugisaru made? Mata afuredasu all my tears. Forever love, forever dream, kono mama, soba ni ite. Yoake ni furueru kokoro wo dakishimete. Oh, stay with me.**_

When I had went into my big solo, Justine had tears of love in her eyes, and she was drawn to my singing and guitar skills like Odysseus was with the song of the sirens. She also saw all of my heart and soul through that single song alone, and it wasn't over yet.

E.T.: (continuing my singing) _**Ah, subete ga owareba ii owari no nai kono yoru ni. Ah, ushinau mono nante. Nani mo nai anata dake. Forever love, forever dream, kono mama soba ni ite. Yoake ni furueru kokoro wo dakishimete. Ah, will you stay with me kaze ga sugisaru made? Mou dare yori mo soba ni. Forever love, forever dream, kore ijou arukenai. Oh, tell me why, oh, tell me true, oshiete ikiru imi wo. Forever love, forever dream, afureru namida no naka kagayaku, kisetsu ga eien ni kawaru made. Forever love!**_

Once I play out the last note of the entire song, I look over to Justine, who had a mesmerized look on her face, tears flowing down from her face, and was ready to do a fangirl squeal.

E.T.: (wearing a look of concern) Justine, are you okay, honey? Was my performance a little off?

Justine: (starts with the fangirl squeal) EEEEEEEEK, that was the best cover of Forever love that I've ever heard in my entire life. The way you performed it was so spot on, and the way you had made that song your own showed such depth within you. Oh, my, God, I really need to glomp you right about now.

E.T.: (wearing a sheepish grin) I'm glad you liked it, but before you glomp me, I'd like to give you something first.

Justine: (thinking again) _Oh my God, he's probably gonna give me a bouquet of roses or something, it's like he's brought our first date to me. This is so unreal, I feel like I'm actually living out some Harlequin teen romance novel._

As she was wondering about what little token of affection, I went and propped my guitar up against the wall, and then, picked up the bouquet of roses that I had brought with me. If this doesn't win her over like my guitar skills did, nothing will.

E.T.: (while holding said bouquet of roses) In Japan, it is a custom to give a bouqet of roses to a beautiful lady as a sign of affection...babe.

After Justine gets a good look at the roses I had bought for her, she immediately unties the sash of her robe and slips it off of her body. One look at her gorgeously athletic body, and I instantly knew that she wanted to make love to me. She then walked up to me, grabbed me by the collar of my formal jacket, and gave me the mother of all frenchers.

Justine: (with a determined look of passion on her face) In America, talk is cheap.

Once that's been said, Justine proceeds to throw me onto her bed, and glomps me while I prop myself up on my elbows. She then pulls me into an embrace which trapped my head in between her ample bosoms, and led my Maltese Falcon to do a full on salute. To say that Justine was switched on would be the newest understatement of all of eternity, but such was the case.

E.T.: (muffled by my lover's breasts) Aaaah, I love America!

Before this turns into a full on lemon scene, let's check in with Kim & Ron to see what they're up to, shall we?

Kim & Ron's quarters, "The Village"

After Kim & Ron had left the pre-victory party to drop off Rufus at Wade's quarters, the two teen-heroes-turned-full-time-lovers had made a bee line to their personal quarters. As they walked through the door, the two began to make out, while proceeding to grope, fondle, caress, and paw at each other through their clothes. Needless to say, these two teenagers were friskier than a couple of jackrabbits in heat. While they were in their pre-coitus activity, Ron had pulled out a Trojan condom from his left jacket pocket, only for Kim to bat it out of his hand and onto the floor. They broke apart for only a brief couple of seconds so that Kim could let Ron in on where she was going with all of this.

Kim: (in a full on puppy dog pout) No, Ronnie, you won't need any of those ever again after tonight. Besides, we'll be married once all of this is over, and I need to feel the warmth of your Ronshine in it's entirity.

If hearing that coming from her doesn't pitch a tent in his pants and get his motor revving up, then I don't know what will.

Ron: (while trying to keep a straight face and control over his hormones about him) Oh sweet Yahweh, Kimmy, are you sure about this? What if I get you pregnant before we're married, and how will we raise a family and go to college all while continuing to save the world at the same time?

Kim: (turns the sexiness of her P.D.P. all the way up to level ten) I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life, and if what you say could happen does, then we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Besides, I'd be honored and proud to have your children, our children, with you and you alone.

Ron: (starts sweating like a pig but keeps calm) Look, Kim, I would love nothing more than to start a family with you, but the way you work the P.D.P. right now has gotten me so hot that I can't think straight.

With that said, Kim took it as a cue to go in for the kill with the ultimate seduction line ever. If all goes well, she'll be feeling the full force of the Ronshine.

Kim: (starts whispering in his ear) Please, Ronnie, I want and need all of you, to make the two of us into one. I love you, Ronnie baby, and I want to be truly melded with you.

To further emphasize her point, Kim had looped one leg over Ron's leg, then began rubbing it up and down in a provocative manner. Stick a fork in Ron, because he's done.

Ron: (finally caves in like a house of cards) If this is what you want, Kimila babe, then I'd be honored and eternally grateful to fulfill all of your needs.

Once they go back to making out, the two make their way to the bed they shared, and had proceeded to disrobe one another until they were down to their skivvies. I'm just gonna stop here before this scene becomes another lemon scene, and fast forward to the next morning.

The next morning, Kim & Ron's quarters, "The Village"

Gracias!

When Ron woke up, he realized that he was laying beside the sleeping form of his soon-to-be-wife, slumbering peacefully on her side as her lithe arms wrapped around his neck. For the briefest of moments, Ron almost considered letting his beloved Kimberly Ann Possible rest a little while longer, but then decided against it. Besides, it was his turn to pleasure her and surprise her at the same time. Once he gave Kim a chaste kiss on her lips, he began to leave a trail of butterfly kisses all over her neck, shoulders, and clavicle after turning her onto her back. Then, he made his way underneath the sheets to the more hidden parts of her anatomy, and basically went to town on her nimble and attractive body. This awoke the teen heroine from a pleasant dream of her and her husband-to-be, the two of them sharing a nice family sized house with their children, having a family barbecue cookout in the front yard. When she opened her eyes, she saw a familiar lump formed in between her thighs and from under the sheets, the sight of which made her blush and go cross-eyed when she felt her lover's tongue upon her.

Kim: (hitting the high C right about now) Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you.

Crud, this is the third time in this chapter. You know what, let's just skip to the part that doesn't have a couple of sex starved teens going at it like a pair of minks, shall we?

Once Team Possible had gotten dressed after releasing their pent up affection, the two of them decide to check up on me & Justine, and maybe schedule a double date while they're at it. When they get to Justine's personal quarters, they bear witness to a sight that they had thought they'd never see, me with a lady whom I've won over.

E.T.: (as I exited to the promenade with Justine, letting her in on the down low of my life) ...And that's how my dad died. If only I had been strong enough, I could've stopped Burton Mankey from doing what he did, not just to my dad, but also countless others as well.

Justine: (comforts me by caressing my cheek while embracing me tightly) But you were just a young man when it happened, they could've seriously hurt you, or maybe worse. At least you're strong enough to do something about it right now, and avenge all of the innocents who've suffered under the Mankeys' oppressive grip. However, what really counts is the strength of your kind and gentle heart, a heart that's as compassionate as it is just.

E.T.: (starting to wax romantic) You're absolutely right, Justine my love, I'd be lost in my ever maddening search for vengeance if it weren't for you, or your innocent love.

Justine: (kisses me on the cheek to let me know she'll never leave my side) You don't have to worry about that anymore, Eddie my darling, because I'll always stand by you, no matter what comes our way.

With that, the two of us had entered in an intense game of tonsil hockey, neither one of us letting up on our frenching skills, nor were aware of Team Possible watching the scene unfolding before them. It was like an extremely romantic love scene in an action flick, and it really got me all hot and bothered in my "John Thomas". Just then, Kim made like she was clearing her throat in order to put a stop to whatever we were doing.

E.T.: (I stop frenching my girl to see what's up) Oh, Kim, Ron, it's good to see you two. How long have you been standing there?

Kim: (was all smiles) Long enough, E.T., long enough to know that you not only have a Robin Hood complex, but an Edmond Dantes complex as well.

Ron: (decides to join in) That, and that you play guitar and sing. E.T., why didn't you tell us about your other talents?

E.T.: 1. You never asked about them. 2. I don't like to brag about them. 3. Even the worst magicians and illusionists know not to reveal all of their secrets. The real question for you two is, "How in the blue blazes of the mind of Masami Obari did you find out about my hidden talents?"

Ron: Well, Justine had called us on the lan line and told us how you serenaded her. I gotta admit though, your method of winning Justine over was quite effective.

Kim: (cut's in from here) Don't worry, we didn't tell her that you were a virgin up until last night.

Justine: (with a look of pleasant surprise on her face) What?!

Ron: (pulls Kim in close to whisper in her ear) K.P., we weren't supposed to let the at-cay out of the ag-bay.

E.T.: (with a chagrin look of shame on my face) Oh, sweet mother of Yoshiaki Kawajiri.

Well, the nuke's finally made impact with the target, so here comes the big ol' mushroom cloud.

Kim: (wear an apologetic look on her face) Whoops, my bad, E.T.!

Justine: Eddie honey, why didn't you tell me that last night was your very first time?

E.T.: (plan B, go for the bashful school boy routine) It's just because that if I told you, then you might tell everybody else. Plus, I also thought that you'd round everyone up to laugh at me, the ninth wonder of the world himself, the only 20 something year old virgin.

Justine: (being as sympathetic and sincere as possible) But I would never do that to you Eddie, Bonnie the Queen of all Skankdom might, but not me. That sort of thing isn't me, which is why I constantly refused to be part of Bonnie's bitch clique, that and the fact that I would be their academic workhorse and slave.

E.T.: (starting to feel better by the second) Really, you mean you wouldn't make fun of me for being a virgin only until last night?

Justine: (starts holding my face by the cheeks in her open palms) Of course not, and besides, it's always been a smart and sexy cheerleader's dream to land herself a handsome and courageous man who's as virginal as they are, and it's a really huge turn-on for me when the one and only man I will ever make sweet love to is also a virgin, but has enough raw talent and potential to pull off moves that other men wouldn't use on their own girlfriends or wives. A very...huge...turn-on.

Right then and there, my newfound lover had pulled my head down to engage in another passionate, lust filled, love laced French kiss with me. As this was going on, Kim & Ron just stood there with their mouths wide open while their eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. Not because Justine was kissing me like no tomorrow, but because she took one of my hands and placed it on her well developed posterior. Yup, this was a "Take me to the bedroom and make love to me" kind of kiss, and I was getting a full-on otaku chubby from it. God, this was helluva Frick Parking sweet.

Ron: (interjects himself in between us to stop our little public display) E.T., Justine, you know we love you both like family, but could the two of you save your sexy time for until you two can give us an answer to a question me and Kim have for you?

E.T.: (wearing a sheepish grin on my face) Sorry, Ronnie my man, I guess we're both still feeling the passion from last night, but you and K.P. both know how that goes.

Kim: (begins to reminisce about the times her and Ron made love) Don't I know it, I'm still in awe at how good Ron is at making love to me. No matter how many times we do "it", it's still so wonderful, plus the way Ron always brings me to multiples and makes me hit the high C...

Justine: No way, my Eddie's the same way with me, plus he's a cuddler. I mean, it doesn't matter if it's before, during, or after, he'll cuddle me till the cows come home.

Kim: Shut up, my Ronnie-poo is an extreme cuddler too.

E.T.: (going beet red all over my face) Ladies, please, I'm kinda getting where this is going, but I'm also kinda embaressed by this.

Justine: (in a seductive and sultry voice) Oh, Eddie baby, you have nothing to be embaressed about, besides, I wasn't complaining last night. Which means that I enjoyed every second of our shared first time, and our second, and third, and etcetera.

E.T.: (going straight to fire engine red right about now) Justine, I know I'm good, but I'm not that damned good.

Ron: (decides to change the subject) So...uh, do you wanna go with us on a double date or not, because it looks like you and Justine might be busy with "gettin' bizzay" right about now.

E.T.: (in an anime style panic) THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA!

Ron: Really, because we could always come back another time and pick you two up.

E.T.: (a slight bit more relaxed) Oh no no no, it's perfectly fine with me, in fact, why don't we do a double date breakfast, it'll be my treat. So, what'dya say about that?

Kim: (was all gumdrops and lolipops about it) Sounds great to me, but I don't know if it would be okay with Justine though.

Justine: Actually, breakfast sounds really good to me right about now, and maybe when we get back, me and Eddie can work on "dessert" for a little while.

As she said that, Justine had started rubbing her backside on my "tanto" to get my motor running. Up, down, and all around, like there wasn't another tomorrow in sight. Oh my Kevin Bacon, I've created a sexual Frankenstein monster.

Kim: (smiles genuinely at us) Great, you two go and get ready while we check up on our buddy, Prof. Hongo, and see if Rufus wants to join us for breakfast.

Ron: (wearing a devious little smirk as they left) Oh, one more thing, don't do anything that we wouldn't do you two.

E.T.: (starting to do an anime style panic) NO, WAIT, DON'T LEAVE US YET, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT A FEW THINGS STILL! STUFF LIKE WHEN AND WHERE YOUR WEDDING'S GONNA BE HELD AT. PLEASE DON'T GO, YOU GUYS.

It was no use, Team Possible had already left for their errands of the day, leaving me at the mercy of the most monogamous nymphomaniac I've had the pleasure of meeting.

Justine: (looks at me with a lascivous smile) Looks like it's just you and me, my strong, brave, and handsome alien warrior. Now come on inside so your intergalactic princess can reward you in the proper custom of her people.

Oh man, the Becker curse is in full effect, I'll just skip to where me, Justine, and Team Possible rendeveaux at the motor pool.

Later, at the motor pool of "The Village"

When Team Possible had gotten here, me and Justine looked like we had been making out intensely. Before they arrived, they decided to stop at Prof. Hongo's quarters to pick him up, so we could give him a ride to "The Dog Gone Diner", and he could link up with Tobei-san to let him know that the Shocker situation was close normalizing. Once they all got to my limo, we all had to wait for my new limo driver to show up, which only took a few minutes. While we were waiting, we all decided to shoot the breeze, and kill some time before we left for our destination.

Takeshi: (with a visible smile of pride on his face) What's up, guys & dolls, how's everybody doing?

Kim: Just great, Prof. Hongo, right now we're waiting for E.T.'s new limo driver to show up. But that's beside the point.

Ron: (finishes what Kim started) Yeah, and we've got a couple of announcements to make, first off, K.P. and I are now officially engaged. As you can see, we're both very happy about it, and wanna tell the whole world of this joyous occassion.

With that said, Kim reveals the very ring her and Ron had picked out while they were in Middleton last time. Seeing this brought a light-hearted chuckle out of Prof. Hongo, who couldn't help but share in Team Possible's happiness.

Takeshi: (positively exstatic for the two) Congratulations, you two, I just hope that the Shocker organization's brought to justice before your impending nuptuals. Now, what's the other tidbit of news that you've got for me?

Ron: Why don't we let E.T. do the honors of making that annoucement, shall we?

E.T.: (picking up where Ron left off) Thanks, Ron, first off, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Miss Justine Flanner of Middleton.

Takeshi: (shakes Justine's hand and greets her) How do you do, Ms. Flanner?

Justine: (returns the favor to Hongo-hakase) Daijoubu ka, domo arigatou gouzaimasu, atashi no namae wa Justine Flanner desu. ( I'm doing fine, thank you very much, my name is Justine Flanner.)

Takeshi: (blown away by her linguistic skills) Woah, I didn't know you spoke Japanese, Ms. Flanner. E.T., I think you've got yourself a keeper here. She's smart, beautiful, and knows her Japanese better than a native.

E.T.: (blushing wildly with no signs of stopping) Yeah well, some guys have it, and some guys don't.

Takeshi: (starts scratching his head in retrospection) By the way, whatever happened to Will the Dookie boy anyway, did he quit his job or something?

E.T.: Well, he turned out to be a mole sent by the Shocker, and tried to kill both of our star witnesses, and even held Auntie Betty hostage.

Takeshi: (blinking his eyes in a befuddled manner) How did that turn out for him?

E.T.: (smiling deviously while rubbing my hands together) Oh, he met a "shocking" defeat when the security deterrents had kicked in, and then another when Rufus "painfully" humiliated him.

Takeshi: (cringes upon hearing this) Yikes, do not want!

Kim: Well, that's only the long and short of it, but there's furthermore details being left out.

Takeshi: (looking at the four of us increduously) Oh come on, I already know that E.T. is not only a globally reknowned hacker and secret agent, but also an acceptional martial artist and manga-ka. It's not like he's some sort of child genius inventor and mech pilot as well.

Ron, Kim, Justine, and E.T.: (all of us rub the backs of our heads, in four part unison) Well...

Takeshi: (in complete realization) Oh my Kami, he is, isn't he?

E.T.: (wearing a sheepish smile) Does Chuck Norris kick much ass and have another fist up in that beard of his?

Takeshi: (having an otaku fanboy moment) Totally bitchin', you're so living the dream, dude! You know, I could help you take down the Shocker, bust some heads, maybe even rescue some hostages. Dude, it'd be like Batman & Robin, I could be your sidekick.

E.T.: (acting as serious as possible) So you really wanna help me out, don'tcha, Robocop?

Takeshi: Is a rider fully stoked to grab some righteous air time while doing a backflip McTwisty into a Superman followed up by a sidesaddle? Translation: Hell Yeah!

E.T.: Then don't mention this to "Old man Tobey", at least not until I get the manga of it into print.

Ron: That's all well & good, but we still don't know who our driver is.

Kim: Yeah, E.T., the suspense is killing us, couldn't you give us a couple hints as to who it is, please & thank you?

E.T.: Okay, tell you what, I'll give yins three hints, and if you get it by the end of the final hint, I'm gonna buy breakfast for all yins. The first hint is that this gentleman has expertise in the field of explosives and demolitions.

While the others had pondered on the first hint, I couldn't help but laugh a little bit inside my head. I decided to give them another hint to see if they're stumped or not.

E.T.: So, does any of yins feel like a fried egg right about now or what?

Justine: Well I'm stumped like an oak tree.

Ron: Sorry, E.T., but this has us getting headaches.

Kim: I'm drawing a blank here, how about you, Prof. Hongo?

Takeshi: Haven't got a clue, keep the hints coming.

E.T.: Okay, here's the second hint. This gentlman hails from Scotland, and has a penchant for wearing plaid kilts, eating haggis, and playing on his bagpipes. Now, does that narrow it down a little bit for yins?

Kim, Ron, Justine, & Takeshi: (in a confused unison) Kind of?

E.T.: Okay, here's the final hint. This gentleman also loves the proud Scottish game of golf, and has the habit of combining his love for blowing stuff up, and his love for golf. Thusly, he has been branded as a criminal who's known as "the deadliest golfer in the world" up until now.

Ron: (cringes in fear) Oh my dear Yaweh, not "Him"!

Justine: (still in the dark on this) "Him" who?

Kim: (her eyes are wide open in terror) E.T., why did you pick that guy out of anyone in the entire world?

E.T.: Because I've already come to the conclusion that a law biding citizen, or somebody who works inside law enforcement, wouldn't be trust worthy. Hence, we need a recntly reformed criminal whose got all of the desired skills and abilities needed for a job such as this, and since we gave him a safe haven from the Shocker Empire, he decided to return the favor.

Takeshi: Okay, I'm still drawing a major blank here, would somebody please tell us who "Him" is before I plotz, the suspense is killing me.

Kim: It's the one criminal who gives both myself and Ron a royal case of the heeby-jeebies.

Ron: The man whose name is so frightening, that I dare not speak it, at least not without K.P. backing me up.

Kim: I'll say it if you do two things for me, Ron.

Ron: Anything for you, my Kimila.

Kim: 1. Hold me tight so I don't get scared and run off, and 2. say his name with me at the same instant.

Ron: (embraces Kim tightly) Done and done!

Justine: Just who are you guys talking about?

Ron & Kim: (in fearful unison) It's Duff Killigan!

Seeing as those two lovebirds are in the throes of terror, I decided not to jinx them. I did try to calm them down, however.

E.T.: Aw come on, guys, he's not so bad once you get to know him.

Takeshi: (in fearful realization) Are you kidding me, he was thrown out of the P.G.A. because of his short temper and his ability to turn golfballs into highly explosive contact grenades. Those things are like guided missiles, man!

Justine: (with righteous indignation) The three of you should be ashamed of yourselves, Eddie had done what needed to be done, in order to protect one of his voluntary witnesses while giving him a chance to give back to society. Now you're putting this Duff Killigan on the chopping block because of his crimes in the past. Well, I've got news for you, if Eddie can forgive him enough to trust him with his own life, then I can too, albeit with a tiny and miniscule amount of fear that borders on concern.

Ron: (in a sudden state of realization) You're right, Justine, I guess we're all still a little freaked because of the ongoing Shocker sitch. Our bad, E.T., it won't happen again.

Mysterious voice: Well, I'm glad fer ye' lot, but ye' should `ave the right t'know that I'm nae longer gonna use me' skills for crime anymore. Just point me t'any Shocker and I'll blow `em up sky high.

Just then, we all turned to look at whoever made that bold statement, only to see that it was indeed Duff Killigan. He did make some upgrades to his daily attire though, leaving the golf bag and bagpipes at home for a chauffeur's cap and jacket. He still wore the kilt though, but he was very insistent about it when I hired him.

Duff: So, Mr. Becker, how many in ye'r party and where do ye' be going?

E.T.: Ah, Duff, most excellent timing, there's five of us in our party, heading for the Dog Gone Diner in Middleton.

Duff: Righty-o, Mr. Becker, now all of ye' hop in and we'll get going.

As we entered the limo in the passenger compartment, Duff hopped in on the driver's side and took the wheel. While he looked around on the dash, he became mesmerized by a certain red button. Gee, I wonder what that button does.

Ron: (with some apprehension in his voice) I really hope that he's a better limo driver than he is a golfer, E.T., I'm kinda' worried about what he'll do behind the wheel of this baby.

E.T.: (attempting to reassure Ron) Relax, Ronald McDonald, I've read his dossier and it states that he used to be Arnold Palmer's chauffuer/caddy. We're doubley safe with him driving, what could possibly go wrong?

Kim: If he causes massive hit-and-run fatalities, billions in property damage, and the mangling of all the traffic laws, you're taking full responsibility on this one.

E.T.: Trust me, Kim, he's got an impecible driving record, he's fully insured, and he knows what he's doing.

Dad, you know how you say don't trust anyone, well, you should never, ever, ever, ever, ever trust me, especially when I pick a limo driver.

Takeshi: If we die, E.T., I'll hold you personally accountable, and then I'm gonna kick your ass.

E.T.: Fair enough!

Duff: (lost in his own curiosity) Oy, Becker Laddie, what does this big, red button do?

E.T.: (eyes wide open in fearful realization) NO, DUFF, DON'T PRESS THAT...

Once he pressed the big, red button, the grill mounted machine guns on my limo had activated, with the grill dropping open and the automatic machine guns popping out of the front of the vehicle. Then, they let out a burst of shells, gunfire, and ricocheting mayhem all over the motor pool. Unfortunately, there were a lot of G.J. technicians and mechanics down there at the time. Fortunately, however, they all ducked out of the way. Finally, just as quickly as they had deployed, the guns had stopped and popped back into the car, with the grill flipping back up into it's original and upright position.

Random G.J. Mechanic: (popping his head out of his hiding place) Son...of a hippo's...left testicle!

Duff: (sticks his head out of the limo) Sorry about that, it's me' first day.

R.G.J.M.: (starts getting red in the face with rage) If you do that again, I will take a two-handed battle axe to your ballsack, rip out your intestines, and shove them down your throat.

Duff: (in a fearfully apologetic manner) Do nae' worry, I will nae' do that ever again.

When Duff finally brings his head back in, his face wore a look of total embaressment, but it was nothing when compared to my own.

E.T.: (with chagrin all over my face) Sorry, guys, I guess I should've told him about the limo's "special features", this should've never had happened in the first place.

Ron, Takeshi, & Kim: (in a sarcastic three part unison) Really, do you think so?

Justine: (sounding as forgiving as an angel) It's okay, Eddie, even Thomas Elba Edison made 99 mistakes before he perfected the lightbulb.

E.T.: Thanks, babe, and I'm sorry about Duff not being told about the "special features" of the limo, it must have just slipped my mind. Duff, the driver's manual is in the glove box, when we get to the diner, read up on it.

Duff: (with a sheepish smile on his face) Righty-o, Becker laddie sir, lets get this `ere meatball rolling.

With that, Duff had started driving out of the motor pool and to our appointed destination, without the flight mode enabled unfortunately. This was to help Duff get used to driving a luxury vehicle that doubles as an aerial/mobile weapons platform with armor plating thicker than a tank's. If you wanna blame a television show or two for this Frankenstein's limo, blame Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, A.K.A. M.A.S.K. for short.

The Detention Center's Main Control Room, "The Village"

While the five of us were away on other business, three new agents fresh out of G.J. Academy, along with my close, personal friend/colleague, Rhonda Bartlett, had entered the main control room of the detention center. Apparently, they were doing a change of shifts, and had presented their security pass cards to last night's shift roster, or so it would seem. Once the staff from last night had departed and was nowhere in sight, the three of the new agents had proceeded to remove their disguises to reveal their true identities, Crash, Dash, and Burn, of the now unemployed Team Impossible. Meanwhile, through the miracles of nano-morphing nanites, and modern day cybernetics, Rhonda Bartlett, the woman whom I considered to be the big sister that I never had growing up, revealed her true identity, that of the cybernetically imbued, nano-morphological cat burglar turned Shocker infiltrations expert, Camille Leon, of whom was the heir to the Leon family catfood empire. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. As they took their terminals, they used the detention center's security video footage to allocate all of the prisoners. After doing so, they decided to do a review of the actions taken to get this far. For those who are underaged, or have sensitive and weak constitutions, please skip this next part. Why, you ask, it's because it describes the rape & murder of an innocent female officer of the law. It isn't too graphic or anything, it's just really disturbing, that's all.

Crash: I've allocated the guards and their stations, Dash, and I've also got their schedules up on display. How about you, man?

Dash: I've found all of the prisoners here, and I've also found out where each of their cells are at. How's your end, Burn?

Burn: The good news is that I've found my way into the security controls, and am currently setting the C.G.I. animated loop, for our end of the board that is. I'm also in the process of making multiple feedback loops to substitute for the actual security footage. Now for the bad news, each of the buildings here operate on their own independent wi-fi connected computer system that's hooked up to the G.J. mainframe, they all seem to be connected to the same network, but I can't get into it without the the pass code. It's because each of the computers have trinary encrypters in their programming, and each character of every pass code changes hourly in sequential succession, first one, then two, and so on, and so on. I've only read about trinary encryptions and sequential randomization in cyberpunk novels, comic books, and manga, but this E.T. Becker has kicked logic to the curb, and made the impossible possible. He's either the singlemost talented technical genius in the entire world, or a pathetic wacko with some serious issues.

Hey, I both resemble and resent both of those remarks.

Camille: (with a growing frustration welling up from within) In other words, he cock blocked you.

Burn: Bingo, Boss woman!

Camille: Not to worry, we'll just have to disguise ourselves again when he gets back, then pretend that the prisoners had escaped due to an electrical snafu or something. It's really simple, just like when we had to pump that Rhonda Bartlett for info on this dump of an underground safe haven.

Crash: Yeah, I personally liked her huge rack, and how she cried for us to release her fellow agents when we threatened to kill them.

Dash: Well I liked that apple bottom ass of hers, plus the response she gave us when we 86'ed her three amigos. Man, was dat ass fucking tight, it matched her sexy, long legs though.

Burn: Yeah, that was off the chain, but who in the hell knew that she was virgin? I mean, it's like she wanted to wait until she was married to give it up or something. I also enjoyed how she screamed for us to stop when we ran the train on her, and how I was her first. What Camille did to her afterwards, was especially hot though. The way she killed her, by shoving the barrel of the shotgun up her sniz, and then pulled on the trigger, that was beyond sick. I absolutely loved every minute of it.

Camille: (with a sense of perversed nostalgia) Well, you know what my dad always says, crazy is as crazy does. It's a shame that she couldn't last longer though, but you know the way I am. When I leave a one night stand laying around, I like to go out with a bang.

I think I'm gonna barf, I did warn you though. Please excuse me while I head to the John, so talk amongst yourselves. I'll even give you a subject of discussion, the "Monkey's Tail" fan fiction universe is right up there with the "Once Again" stories in quality and writing, simply top notch.

Camille: Now, back to the mission, the three of you let all of the prisoners that Team Possible and Global Justice has captured out of their cells and out of this prison. When they run out into the promenade, it'll not only give us a distraction, but an army and cannon fodder as well. Meanwhile, I'll get Agent Becker to let me into the main armory, then I'll dispatch him as soon as possible, and steal ourselves a cache of G.J. issued weaponry made by the mad genius himself. Now you all know what to do, get to it.

Crash, Dash, & Burn: (in military unison) Aye-aye, Chief!

Well, that takes care of the control room, let's check on our prisoners, shall we?

Ty & Du's prison cell, Detention Center, "The Village"

Upon the interrogation's end, and the mission's completion followed by some "aggressive questioning", Du had been properly booked for holding in the detention center and forced to bunk with the skinhead formerly known as Agent Tyrone Michaels. After he recived his issued items and passed the inspections, he was taken to the cell by an armed guard detail. As he entered, he took in the new surroundings that would serve as his home for the time being. Once he got his eyes looking towards the toilet, he had began unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants to drain his main vein, only to have his hands stopped from their present task upon contact with a large booted foot attached to a very annoyed skinhead.

Ty: Hey, Gouk boy, that shitter's mine.

Du: (gets a tad bit annoyed but keeps it in) I see, and what am I supposed to use?

Ty: I don't give a flying fucking shit, Mr. Moto, you can go on the fucking floor for all I care, just don't use that.

Du: (finally reaches his limit) Alright, shithead, let's just get one thing straight, okay?

As Du turned around, Ty had gotten out of his bunk to eye the recently dishonored G.J. agent down and intimidate without any physical contact. Needless to say, it worked like a charm.

Du: (visibly intimidated) That is yours.

Meanwhile, in Bob and Eugene's cell, Bob was putzing with his slinky while Eugene was busy with reading the stock trade report of the local newspaper. However, Eugene couldn't concentrate on it due to my brother's constant putzing on his slinky.

Eugene: (in a calm demeanor) Do you mind not doing that, please?

With a reluctant manner, Bob puts his slinkying to a stop, but only to eye up his cellmate and try to intimidate him by telling him how he killed his best friend.

Eugene: (in polite but genuine gratitude) Thanks!

Bob: (points to a news clipping on the cell's wall) Do you see that guy over there, I killed him.

Eugene: Yeah, I see that.

Bob: He was my best friend.

Eugene: Congrtulations!

Bob: Crazy people aren't afraid of anybody.

Eugene: Is that a fact?

With that, Bob went back to his slinky play, leaving Eugene to go back to reading his newspaper once more.

Eugene: I can't belive this, S.P.C.'s stock is now only worth a penny, and the same could be said for the last of their former subsidiaries. I can't believe this.

Bob had other plans in mind for Eugene, however, and hurled the top of his slinky at Eugene's newspaper, ripping it to pieces when the slinky retracted. Despite his newspaper being ripped to shreds, Eugene continued reading his business and stock reports as if nothing happened. Seeing this had unsettled Bob and he decided to leave his cellmate alone, at least for the time being.

At the same time at THe Dog Gone Diner, Middleton, Colorado

Once we got to the diner, I've had Duff grab the instruction manual out of the limo's glove box, to help acclimate him to the G.J. Motors original while we ate. As we entered the diner, we were all greeted by the same hostess that helped us out with Marcella. Ah, good old Darla, you're a true friend.

Darla: Hi, welcome to the...E.T., is that you, how have ya' been, Hon?

E.T.: Just great, Darla, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend, Ms. Justine Flanner.

Darla: (shakes hands with Justine) How y'all doin' there, honey, I'm Darla, and I'll be your hostess for this morning.

Justine: (was nothing but smiles) I'm just peachy, thank you very kindly.

Darla: (eyes up Duff and starts getting smitten) Well now, who's this tall drink of water, and where has he been all my life?

Duff: (with a Sean Connery inspired accent) The name is Duff, Duff Killigan, and as for where I've been, I was in and out of jail paying for my many misdeeds until I've decided to change my life around. As of now, I am the proud and loyal chauffuer to Mr. Becker, and if you don't mind me saying, you look absolutely stunning yourself, dear lady.

E.T.: (face, meet palm, palm, face) Oh, save us, dear Shoji Kawamori.

Ron: (surprised at Duff's accent change) Hey, Duff, what in the name of Yaweh happened to your old accent?

Duff: If you must know, Ronald, this is my original accent, I merely hid it with a thicker sounding Scottish accent for a great deal of years until now. That, and I grew up in the same town that Sean Connery was born in, watching all of his movies all the while.

Kim: We now officially know too much, Duff, now how's about we get a booth before "Tobey" Tachibana gets here, please and thank you.

E.T.: No sweat, Dude-ette, Darla, give us a booth for a party of eight, please, we've got ourselves a full house here.

Darla: Lemme guess, you brought your naked mole rat friend with you.

Rufus: (popping out from Ron's cargo pocket) Hnk, Hello-hello!

Ron: Does that answer your question?

Darla: I reckon that it does, now would you be waiting for someone to meet up with y'all at the booth?

E.T.: We'll be waiting for our old friend, Mr. Tobei Tachibana, before we get started on breakfast.

Darla: Not to worry, I'll have him meet y'all at the booth when he gets here, in the meantime, let me show you to your booth and get you some drinks.

E.T.: (in classic trucker speak) Thank ya' kindly, ma'am.

After we got settled into our booth and ordered our drinks, I let Takeshi in on how I became G.J.'s technical advisor/weaponsmaster. It was shortly after my seventh birthday and my ol' Ma & Pa bought me an Apple computer for which to do my school work, along with a lanline modem to keep track of weather reports and such. Meanwhile, my friends and siblings had bought me all of the concurrent home console game systems, from the Atari Jaguar to the Sega Genesis, along with a couple games for each of them. Since I still held onto the old game systems, and was a natural tinkerer/inventor, I took the computer and game systems apart one by one. Then, I had spliced them all together to create a supercomputer for which to both do my homework and play any and every game I've got, which to me was the best of both worlds. Finally, I had hooked my modem up to my personal telephone and my supercomputer, then got down to some serious spelunking of the information superhighway. With my new supercomputer fully hooked up and operational, I managed to uncover and solve a few mysteries such as the Roswell landing of 1945, who really killed J.F.K., and that the Bermuda Triangle is actually the gateway into Atlantis. Hey, at least I wasn't looking up any pornsites at that age, and I didn't get caught by the U.S. government. No, they called in Global Justice instead. When G.J. had found me, I told them that I was the legendary hacker known as "Shadow Warrior", and even how I had made a supercomputer out of an Apple computer and a bunch of gaming consoles. I also told them that I didn't mean any harm when I hacked into the mainframes of several government agencies, that I only wanted to learn the truth about the world we live in, and to share my knowledge with the people of the world. Fortunately, my heartfelt speech had won them over, and they decided to deputize me as a civilian asset, so long as I had used my gifts for the greater good of mankind. They even helped elevate the "Shadow Warrior" hype by posting up a phony wanted poster and leaving my identity to be anonymous. Once I got older though, I had even started making gadgets, gear, and even weaponry for G.J., as my inventing chops had improved with the help of Agent Timothy Kunes, who worked undercover as my high school physics teacher. I even invented an interdimensional portal generator that worked on the variables and principals of temporal and spacial quantum displacement, the difference is mine got me and Mr. Kunes back home the very first go around, and Jerry O'Connell's didn't. Bet'cha can't top that, pretty boy, go back to M.I.T. or N.A.S.A., or something.

Takeshi: (blown away by my origin story) Dude, that story is so freaking epic, what other secrets do you have to tell us?

E.T.: Other than the fact that I learned how to play both an electric and acoustic guitar from the legendary bands and artists of J-rock, have a triple black belt in Himura-ryu Battoujustu, Kamiya-do Kenjutsu, and Miyagi-do Karate, and that I'm the youngest senior agent in G.J., that's about it.

Ron: With all that talent, you could've went to M.I.T. or something.

E.T.: Actually, I did when I was just about to enter middle school, G.J. even paid for it all.

Justine: Did you take any particular course, or were you the Jack of all trades over there?

E.T.: If you really wanna know, I was considered to be the youngest J.O.A.T. to have graduated as a valedictorian with both a magna and sumi cum laude complete with a PhD. under their belt.

Kim: What about your own P.D.V.I., did that idiot Dementor steal your plans or something?

E.T.: He did actually, and since I had a patent on it before he ever did, we took him to court over it. We won our case, but he has yet to pay up, and the interest is through the roof.

Justine: Woah, it's like you're living out your own autobiographical manga, leading up to this very moment.

E.T.: (shrugging my shoulders in humility) Oh, now I wouldn't say that, besides, I actually don't have that interesting of a life. I mean there are law enforcement officers, doctors, paramedics, firefighters, and military, naval, and airforce personell who risk their lives everyday, and have far more interesting lives as well.

Kim, Ron, Justine, & Takeshi: (in a bewildered four part unison) Woah!

Duff: I do believe you've left our friends dumbfounded, Becker my boy. Should we tell Mr. Tachibana about your life up until now when he arrives, or do you wish to wait until a later time when he's proven to be trustworthy?

E.T.: Actually, he's been trustworthy from day one, so he does have the right to know about everything. We may have to deputize him and Prof. Hongo afterwards, but it'll be worth it.

Duff: Very well, sir, I'll leave that up to you. Speaking of the deuce, here he comes now.

As Darla directed Tobei Tachibana, also affectionately known as "Tobey" to his friends, straight to our booth, the whole lot of us greeted him with open arms and smiles on our faces. I even took the liberty of introducing the two new members of our club for misfits. Once he was settled in, we all made our orders and decided to fill "Tobey" in on everything, especially my recent involvement with Global Justice. Needless to say, he was somewhat skeptical of the whole thing.

Tobei: I can believe E.T. being a boy genius and going to M.I.T. before he went to high school, and I'll even take your word about him being a guitar virtuoso, but if y'all think I'm gonna believe that he's G.J.'s personal tech head/mech pilot, that'd be like putting an elevator in an out house, they just don't go together.

E.T.: I understand your skepticism about this whole ordeal, but trust me when I say this, it's as real as Lucy Liu's natural beauty.

Tobei: (still a little skeptical) But Takeshi being transformed into a weaponized cyborg assassin, and you being a G.J. agent is a little farfetched for me to comprehend. Perhaps if you've got some sort of proof to verify it, then maybe I'll start believing it myself.

With that, I produced my BeckerCom, and my G.J. Senior Agent's badge, then I turned on my BeckerCom and showed him all of the data on Operation: Purification, Project: Re-genesis, and the real aim behind the S.P.C., A.K.A. the Shocker Empire. I even went as far as to show him all of the skematics and battle footage of my personal mech, the Daikamikaze, along with footage of a meeting between Jack Hench, the Consortium of Crime, the W.E.E., and the Shocker's head honcho, Burton Mankey. Needless to say, he was stunned speechless.

E.T.: Tachibana-san, are you alright, sir?

Tobei: (still at a loss for words)...!

Takeshi: Give him a few minutes while he's processing all of this, he'll be okay, I hope.

Tobei: (finally snaps out of it) Sweet magnolia day, it's all true! Even Takeshi-kun being turned into some sort of bionic killer. E.T., my boy, I'm sorry for ever doubting you, can you ever forgive an old fool like me?

E.T.: I'll forgive your disbelief of the facts on a couple conditions. First, you're coming with us to get sworn in as a civilian asset alongside Prof. Hongo, and second, you never speak a word of this to anyone that doesn't have either the security clearance or the need to know.

Tobei: (gives me a military salute) You can count on "Good Ole Tobey" to help out in any way, shape, or form.

E.T.: (gives a knowing smile to Tachibana-san) I like your attitude, and I can tell you're an honest person, so I speak for all of G.J. when I say that we'd be honored to have you on board.

As we ate our breakfast, we all began running possible scenarios for the Shocker Empire's next move, and even chekced the security surveillance livestream on my BeckerCom. Nothing seemed unusual at first, but only to the untrained eye, because it was then and there that I noticed that something was up.

E.T.: Hey, guys, is it me or all of the clocks in all of the prison's security cameras a little off to you?

Everybody else: (in unison) Why do you say that, E.T.?

E.T.: It's because all of the time stamps on the transmissions of the prison in "The Village" are all the same, and their not changing or anything. In fact, they're matching each other right down to the very nanosecond. Even the guard is doing a Houdini after he checks all of the cells, disappearing at the farthest end, then reappearing right at the beginning.

Ron: (after inspecting the footage) Hey, you're right about the footage, broha, it certainly doesn't look all chauncey to me. What do you think, Kim?

Kim: (looks at the BeckerCom's screen) This certainly looks like ten kinds of gorchy to me as well. Can you rewind the footage back to the shift change?

E.T.: (cracking my fingers) I can do you one better, I'll run it through the Bio-etheric & thermal scanning imagery filters.

My fingers flew at speeds that would put even Jesse Owens to shame, the only difference is that I'm on the right side of the law, and not even commiting tax evasion. Once the filters were up, I pulled up the footage of the shift change for the prison's control room. What the Bio-etheric scan is based on is the medical and DNA data of all of our agents, since each human being generates a different wattage of electromagnetic field of energy that surrounds them naturally, depending on the physical and mental condition of the subject. This field of natural energy is known as bio-etheric energy. The bio-etheric energy of the three men didn't match those currently assigned for the morning shift at the control room, and neither did Rhonda Bartlett's. After a quick thermal scan, my worst fears were confirmed, only the three males were registering with normal temperatures for humans. Rhonda's, however, had a temperature that's concurrent to cold blooded creatures such as reptiles, lizards, and of course, amphibians. I then ran my findings into referrence with the G.J. criminal database and found four matches.

E.T.: Okay, gang, I've got good news and bad news. I've clearly identified the phonies as Camille Leon and the members of Team Impossible, the latter of the two switching to aiding and abetting known criminals, terrorists, and supervillains, especially now since they retired from the "Hero for hire" line of work. That was, of course, after they tried to kill you both back in Sweden for, as they say supposedly, "taking away their business".

Kim: (shivers with fear at the thought of "The Sweden Incident") You don't have to mention that, please and thank you, the memories of that ordeal are still fresh in my mind.

Takeshi: (decides to ask Ron about the incident) What in the Jigoku (Hell) happened there and then to shake Kim up this badly?

Ron: The last time we were there, we were called in by anonymous person to rescue a bunch of people stuck on a cable car at a ski resort. Little did we know that those people were the bait for a trap against us, one set up by Team Impossible. They even went as far to keep us from rescuing their victims, a lot of which were children from a nearby school for the learning and developmentally impared. When we finally broke through for only a second, they opted to kick us off of the cable car, from forty stories off the ground. Dash & Crash were having a difficult time with me, only because Rufus had scurried into Dash's clothes and made him laugh like a mad man, but Kim was in a heap of trouble when Burn maced her in the eyes, allowing him to kick her off quite easily. This left her hanging on by only the edge of the cable car's roof, and it was one of those times when I got angry, really angry. So while Crash was trying to help Dash overcome his laughing fit, I put Crash in a Full Nelson lock, then performed a Dragon Suplex on his corrupt ass. Then, as Dash was getting up, I pulled a Stone Cold Stunner on him, but only after Rufus had gotten to safety. That left just me and Burn, because both of his boyfriends were in La-la land after that. As Burn was stomping on Kim's fingers to get her to fall to her death, I performed a Head Scissors D.D.T. on him so that he wasn't so close to Kim as she pulled herself up. I then tried to kick him in the gut, but he responded by grabbing my leg before it made contact, which was what I wanted him to do. While he was distracted with patting himself on the back, I did an Enrizugiri on him that was so powerful, that it sent him flying off the cable car, leaving him dangling for dear life. Once Kim got her sight back, she saw that I had already knocked out Crash & Dash, and me standing over where Burn was hanging. He was so scared that he swore to confess to everything, so we decided to grab him up and secure him with the others. Little did we know that the big everything that Burn had mentioned was all of the times that Team Impossible had faked those natural disasters, manufactured calamities, and even set people up with phony hostage takers hired by none other than Team Impossible themselves. Once we recorded his confession, Kim had ziplined down to the control room to bring us all down safely, leaving me to guard the jerkwads, and Rufus to entertain the people inside the cable car. When the authorities had arrived, we showed them Burn's confession of not only attempting to kill us, but of all the times Team Impossible had fabricated or arranged phony disasters for which to rescue the rich and the affluent. After their trial, they were put on permanent retirement, and forced to payback all of the people they've conned money out of. They even had to go to jail and do mondo hard labor for all of the lives that had suffered while they made claims of being heroes.

E.T.: You mean to say that you went toe-to-toe with all three members of Team Impossible and not only survived, but also won in the process? Remind me never to make you angry, Ron my man.

Tobei: Why in tarnation would those born losers feed you bogus video footage when they're already inside your secret base? They could just break in to it's armory and kill everyone there, then be done with it.

E.T.: It's because each building in "The Village" is linked up with the G.J. mainframe network through their own wi-fi network hub, and each hub is protected with a trinary code based sequential randomizer lock. A normal license may be able to get you into most areas, but to get into areas like the armory, you'll need a master key card to bipass the randomizer. Without it, the whole facility goes into alpha level lockdown.

Ron: This sounds like they're gonna set a trap-trap for all of us, and kill all the refugees in the process, by staging a prison break and chalking it up to a computer error or something.

Kim: Do you think it's best if we warn Dr. Director about this?

E.T.: That's probably a good idea, but if we're gonna nail these four losers hands down, we need to make it look like we're as gullible as they think we are.

Takeshi: You mean we've gotta walk into their trap even though we know it's a trap?

E.T.: It's like what my first sensei says, "in order to reveal your enemy's weak points, you must make them think that you yourself are weak, then strike the decisive blow when they least expect it." What better way to lower their guard and get inside their wheel house to spin them like a top, than to walk into the heart of the danger?

Justine: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go crack some skulls and bust some Shocker Grunt heads.

E.T.: Hold it right there, li'l darlin', there's just a couple reasons as to why you shouldn't help us beat these skeezy invaders down. The first is that they're killers and murderers, and the second being that you're not a G.J. agent.

Justine: (gives an incensed stare towards me) Well then, name another reason why I shouldn't help you out with Camille Leon and her piss ant legion. I dare you, I double dog dare you!

E.T.: (this one is for all the ladies out there) The third is because I love you too much to lose you, and it would kill me inside if something bad ever happened to you, and I don't care how gay that it may sound. I love you with all of my heart and soul, and I'll gladly get dinged up just to keep you happy and safe.

Justine: Alright, but you'd better promise to come back to me alive and intact, because if you die on me, it's over between us.

E.T.: That seems fair enough.

Justine: Good, now let's get this show on the road. Duff, we need a swift transport back to "The Village", Kim, you call up your tech man and coordinate the lockdown while we're en route, Ron, you and Kim guard my Eddie with your very lives, because if you give me any sass about it, or if you fail this little objective, I'mma beat the both of you until you're black & blue, do I make myself clear?

Kim: (wearing a layer of chicken sweat) So not the drama, Justine, we'll bring him back as g-g-good as new.

Justine: (looking at Team Possible sternly) Do you absolutely promise on that?

Ron: He won't even have a scratch on him.

Tobei: What about me & Takeshi-kun, li'l lady?

Justine: Oh, you can either stand guard over Eddie and Team Possible, or help me round up the refugees. In the meantime, I'll go to the little ladies' restroom and powder up, even a girl like me has to look good when she's helping bonafide heroes save the day and all.

As Justine left for the ladies' room, the rest of us were in complete shock at how she took command of the whole situation. E.T. my boy, your girlfriend's a lady in the street, a tigress in battle, and a freak in the bed. She's marriage material all right.

Ron: Dude, she really needs to cut back on the caffiene intake.

Takeshi: I don't know about you, Tobey, but I think she just bitched us all out.

Tobei: She's just worried about her cowboy is all, I bet she'll cool her heels once we get back to "The Village".

Kim: Somehing tells me that you're gonna be a lucky husband if you two get married.

E.T.: Gee, you think?

Duff: Eddie my lad, your girlfriend has the looks of Jenny McCarthy, the sweetness of Sandra Bullock, the ferocity of Lucy Lawless, and the libido of Jenna Jameson. In other words, you've got the best of the best of all the women in all of Middleton.

E.T.: What in the name of Yoshiki Tomino have I done? I fell in love with a mega-babe.

After I took care of the check and left a hell of tip, we headed for the restrooms to "attend to some business" and pick up Justine before we left for "The Village". Once we said our fond fairwells to Darla and the kitchen staff, we went out the exit and into the limo. As I had confirmed that Duff Killigan had in fact read the manual cover to cover, I instructed him to put the limo in flight mode for a speedy return to the homestead, because as of now, time was of the essence.

Ron: No offense, Duff, but exactly what kind of flight experience do you have?

Duff: Microsoft flight simulator seven, and once I've graduated that, I logged over 40,000 hours on the Flying Aces game on Playstation 2. Does that answer your question?

E.T.: That's absolutely perfect for this operation, because you'll be flying a stretch limo with V.T.O.L. capabilities and a top speed of mach 5, now let's jam.

Takeshi: Is it me, or does E.T. have a couple screws loose?

Kim: Probably, I mean, people always say that there's a thin line between genius and sheer madness. Who knows what the hell he's thinking about?

Tobei: (makes a sign of the cross like a catholic priest) Madre de Dios!

Duff: Okay, everybody, get strapped in and hold on to your underwear, because it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

As the limo pulled out of the parking lot, we all buckled up and hunkered down to anticipate what came next. Amazingly enough, Duff expertly drove down the road before reaching the optimal take off velocity. Once the limo had reached it, Duff activated the V.T.O.L. jet assist engines underneath the limo's chassis, then activated the flight mode's conversion process. The wings deployed from between the front and rear axels of the vehicle, the jet propulsion engines had flipped out from the trunk, and the rutters and rear stabilizers shot out from the rear fenders and beneath the rear windows. All of the while, the wheels folded down at the wheel wells. Soon, everyone was shocked and in awe at how smoothly and quickly Duff Killigan, the once self appointed "Deadliest Player In Golf", picked up on this high tech fortress on four wheels.

Kim: I've got to admit it, E.T., Duff's piloting skills are top notch.

Ron: I guess we were worried for nothing, ya' picked a hell of a chauffuer.

E.T.: Told yins he'd work out, Takeshi, "Tobey", yins can open your eyes now.

Takeshi: (opening his eyes) Did we crash, and if we did, is this heaven?

Tobei: (looks at Duff and sees him flying the limo) I think we're in the other place, Hombre'.

Duff: Would you ladies and gentlemen believe that this is my first time flying in real life?

Justine: With the way you're flying this bird, you could fool everyone, now somebody get on the horn with Wade or something, please?

Kim: (while activating her Kimmunicator) Already ahead of you, G.F., in the meanwhile, Ron's got Dr. Director on his Ronnunicator. Any luck of finding out what Camille and her goon squad's doing with the prisoners, E.T.?

E.T.: (after checking on the electronic locking systems for the prison cells) They're letting them out, oh my Koichi Ohata, they're releasing them left and right! If they manage to open the main door, they could set those bastards loose on every refugee and agent in "The Village". I'll try to slow them down while I still can, but it'll take a miracle to prevent this catastrophe from happening, so I'm gonna have to get the Vanguards active in this endeavor to pull it off.

Justine: No matter what happens, I'd like to go on record that I speak for everyone when I say, "we all have faith in you, all you need to do is have faith in yourself."

E.T.: (amazed by Justine's confidence in me) Really, you believe in me that much?

Tobei: We all do, li'l buckaroo. Sure there are times when you come across as eccentric and unorthodox, but we all know it's just part of who you are. I mean, you've never let us down yet.

Takeshi: Yeah, when it all came down to the wire, you were always the one who's been the most determined to see that disaster never came upon us.

Kim: Takeshi and Tobei are right, I mean who was the one who uncovered the true face of Shocker Products Corporation, or blew up their main weapons depot to slow those fuckheads at the Shocker Empire?

Ron: Not to mention the fact that you helped me crack Tyrone Michaels, took to the streets with us against a bunch of rabid Yakuza thugs, create your own underground city complete with it's own army of nanomorphic androids and a giant robot, and even got promoted to being the youngest senior agent in G.J.!

Justine: Don't you see how many people you've helped? You've even had us all evacuated so that the Shocker Empire wouldn't carry out their threat and kill us all. In my book, that counts as kicking logic out of the window to do the impossible so you can stop the unstoppable.

E.T.: (with a renewed confidence in my heart) Alright, you've talked me into it, now get cracking on the rallying cry while I handle this.

As I cracked my fingers and got to work, Kim contacted Auntie Betty and relayed the situation to her. Meanwhile, Ron got Wade on the horn and told him about the massive drama about this sitch, and then he told him to wait for Auntie Betty's signal to help me put a stop to the prison break. Once they were able to coordinate the emergency protocols, we were at the ready on our end to use whatever means and methods were deemed necessary to put the foot down on this attack.

E.T.: Okay, everybody, cross your fingers, because here goes nothing. Are you ready, Wade?

Wade: (coming over the Ronnunicator) Ready as I'll ever be. I'm waiting for the final confirmation from Dr. Director any minute now.

Dr. Director: (coming over the Kimmunicator) The main doors are opening now, we've got a possible prison break, confirmation approved.

E.T.: Now, Wade, close those doors while I'll try to manually reset the codes from here.

Wade: Prison's main doors are closing now, have you reset the codes yet, E.T.?

E.T.: I'm on top of it, Wade, it'll take a few minutes, but I've already have a team of G.J. agents and Vanguards surrounding the area.

Once I reset all of the codes for the prison's control room, Camille Leon and her team were finally locked out of the system, and everything returns to normal functioning status in no time.

Prison, control room, "The Village"

Crash: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

Dash: God damn it!

Burn: Son of a bitch!

Camille Leon: (in an exasperated tone) What the fuck's sake's wrong now?

Crash, Dash, & Burn: (in a somber unison) We've got cock blocked.

Camille: W-W-WHAT?!

Crash: We tried to open the main doors,...

Dash: ...but then they were shut closed and...

Burn: ...somebody had done a manual resetting of the codes.

All three of them: So, now the system's normalizing, and we can't get back in.

Camille: Luckily for you three shitheads, I had gathered the weapons from the gunlocker behind me, so now all we have to do is leave through the usual exit before we're surrounded by G.J. agents and Vanguards.

Crash, Dash, & Burn: (in a fearful unison) Uh...?!

Camille: We're surrounded, aren't we? No, wait, it's probably best if you don't tell me.

Crash: Okay, we won't tell you.

Dash: Yeah, we'll just show you instead.

Burn: That is, unless of course you don't want that either.

Camille: What do you mean?

Burn: Let's just say that I wouldn't look out the window behind me if I were you.

Like a true idiot, the blonde haired former heiress did just that. What she saw were a squad of G.J. agents and Vanguards surrounding and entering the prison to restore order, and it scared her immensely.

Dash: You were forewarned, babe.

Camille: (starts to panic in her breakdown) Okay, new plan, we look for a secret escape tunnel. All we've gotta do is not panic.

With that, she smacks Crash on his left cheek, hard enough to leave a mark.

Crash: (after getting slapped by Camille) Ouch, that fucking hurt! Why'd you fucking hit me, bitch?

Camille: (finally breaks down under the pressure) It's because this whole mission was blown right from the start, and you retarded losers are absolutely no help, and I don't know of any secret escape tunnels out of here. We are fucked up beyond all recognition and I don't know what to do. I can't take this anymore, I'm an heiress to a billion dollar business.

Mysterious Voice: Perhaps we can help, if you want?

Just then, the voice within the shadows revealed his identity to the group, as the recently disgraced G.J. agent, William Du. He wasn't alone, however, and was accompanied by Barbara Stoppable, her two sons, Shawn and Eugene, Tyrone Michaels, one of many plants within our organiztion from the Shocker Empire, and my brother, Robert Louis Becker.

Du: Between me and the Ayrian Airhead accompanying our little group, we know every secret escape tunnel and hidden passage in the whole damn facility.

Camille: You mean you would help us, well what's in it for you?

Ty: If you yo-yos get us back in good graces with the higher achelons, we'll get you outta here and away to safety undetected.

Camille thought about the offer carefully and weighed her options for only a few moments, before coming to her decision.

Camille: Alright, Colonel Klink, you've got yourselves a deal. We'll also include safe haven for your slaves as well.

Shawn & Eugene: (in a shocked unison) Slaves, oh hell no!

Barbara: Quiet you two, if this is what it takes to get even with our no account relatives, then so be it. Yaweh, I should've aborted the both of you when I had the chances.

Robert: Please excuse them, they're Jewish, and are prone to bouts of resistance. Now then, what of my cloning process and the mega-sect, is everything going accordingly?

Camille: Your cloning process is up and operational, and the mega-sect has reached full maturity.

Robert: Excellent, then it'll be ready to launch in an attack on Global Justice and the rest of the world, and the best part is he'll be powerless to stop it. Mwhahahahahahahaha!

Ty: Oh, good for you, Dr. Frankenstein, now let's get going before G.J. realizes that we're missing.

With that said, the group fled into the secret entrance to an emergency escape tunnel, which was hidden behind the same gun locker that Camille Leon had plundered. Despite Team Impossible's anger towards their clueless commanderette, they all escaped in complete and total silence. Meanwhile, out in the courtyard of the prison, the G.J. forces had comtained and rounded up all but six detainees, so they were searching every nook and cranny to allocate the fugitives. When they got inside the control room, they found the emergency gun locker totally cleaned out, and the lock on the secret exit into the escape tunnels blown off. This was a clear indication of an escape attempt, but as they went in to investigate, they triggered an intricate series of tripwires connected to an ellaborate gauntlet of lethal grenades. The blasts of which had slowed them down a bit, but only because the Vanguards' safeguard mode kicked in, commanding them to protect their human counterparts. Basically speaking, collateral damage was minimzed, but their pursuit of the culprits was preemptively cut short, and the trail on them was lost.

At the Command Center, "The Village"

When Dr. Director recieved word that her squad had lost the six fugitives and the four invaders, she was a bit cross, but she still retained her professionalism and decorum that came from years of training and experience.

Dr. Director: (totally livid at this development) You fucking morons, you bloody lost them, now this whole facility's going to potentially be under a Shocker siege, you useless cunts! If any of us live through this shit, I'll dock all of your motherfucking wages for a full year, and then, I'm gonna suspend all of your pensions and benefits for another year, but only because you're all a bunch of fucking wankers. I swear on all that's holy that a retarded fucking chimpanzee can do a better job of capturing these bastards.

Random Global Justice Agent: (tries to soothe Dr. Director's ire) Dr. Director, please, calm yourself and remember your blood pressure.

Dr. Director: Get off me fucking tits and sod on it, yardbird, I am fucking calm. Now get me some fucking Earl Grey amd some strong fucking Irish whiskey.

R.G.J.A.: (salutes his C.O. before leaving) Yes, Ma'am!

Okay, I'll admit it, she can be a bit tempermental, but she's having an off day today.

Dr. Director: Now, get Wade and Senior Agent Becker on the horn, and pull up the prison detainee files of the six escapees. Both of these had fucking better be fucking done ten fucking minutes ago.

Other G.J. Agents: Ma'am, yes Ma'am!

Everytime Auntie Betty uses a curse word, an angel cries mournful tears.

En route to "The Village", my limo

As we were reaching "The Village", Auntie Betty gave us the news about the prison finally normalizing, and we all drew a breath of relief. When she gave us the news about the six escapees still at large however, we all responded in the typically professional fashion.

E.T.: (totally losing my cool) What the fuck, you mean to tell me that Michaels, Du, the three fiendish Stoppables, and my little brother had escaped?

Dr. Director: (trying and failing at maintaining her decorum) Look, I'm sorry for my "men" screwing the pooch on this one, but cut me some fucking slack here. Those cocksucking shit munchers were too fucking clever.

Kim: No offense, Dr. Director, but this is a pretty goddamned fucking big, one like you wouldn't believe. What do you cum guzzling douchebags think will happen if they go after the dignitaries, the military leaders, the refugees, or me and Ron's family?

Ron: Not to mention what could fucking happen to E.T., or if they found out about his sweet girlfriend, whom of which, we both consider as family.

Justine: (both relieved and grateful) Thanks, guys!

Ron: We'll be down there to clean up your fucking mess in a few minutes, but if you let this happen ever again, it'll be the last time we wipe your fucking asses, now give us our fucking confirmation to land.

Dr. Director: (taken aback by this exchange) You didn't have to yell at me.

E.T.: Well, tough shit, Auntie Betty, but if we don't act on this, and use the honing beacons that are subutaneously implanted to the backs of their fucking heads, you're gonna wind up with a bigger fucking shit storm than the Diablo incident. E.T. out!

With that, I slam shut my BeckerCom closed and prepare for battle. Through a simple push of a button on my limo's right door panel, the floor of the limo's passenger compartment had opened to reveal an arsenal of only two .8mm magnums, and a Japanese katana with a mystic seal made of sanctified paper crafted by a Shinto priest. Once I've armed myself and put on my twin shoulder holsters, I felt confident that I could hold my own.

Command center, "The Village"

Dr. Director: Do you think that their foul moods could be sttributed to this discovery?

R.G.J.A.: That, or this agency's heavy dependence on their assistance.

Wade: (through the communications system) They'll probably cool down once I triangulate their current location, but it'll take a few minutes, one minute if they're not mobile. Hold on a second, holy fucking shit, they're inside the armory, and they're probably pilfering weapons and shit!

Dr. Director: Punch up the security footage from the armory, agent.

R.G.J.A.: Already on it, chief, it's coming on the mainscreen now.

As the agent put the livestream security footage of the armory up, all who were watching were shocked and horrified to see the six fugitives in question, and the four intruders, plundering the secret cache of weapons originally intended for self defense. All of the while, Camille Leon and the members of Team Impossible were regailing of they're torturous assault on Agent Bartlett and her team.

Dr. Director: (wearing a look of shock and appallment) Oh sweet Jesus, those monsters murdered three of our newest agents, then raped, tortured, and killed one of our best veteran agents just to get in and destroy the facility from within. I think I'm gonna be sick.

R.G.J.A.: That, and they're utilizing the emergency escape tunnel system for an organized terrorist attack.

Wade: Alright, after skimming the schematics of the E.E.T. system, I've determined their next target, and it's the civilian quarters that's gonna get F.U.B.A.R. to Hell and back.

Dr. Director: Have they all been evacuated at this time?

Wade: Fortunately for us, all civilian, military, and political personel are all in the emergency shelters, but those will probably get hit afterwards if these bozos are as smart as we fear them to be. So, who's gonna tell E.T. that his best friend got tortured, raped, and killed by these assholes?

Just then, the screen featured my ugly mug wearing a look of contrition as I made a heartfelt apology to my C.O., one for each of us.

E.T.: (coming through with the BeckerCom) Excuse me, Auntie Betty, but on behalf of Team Possible and myself, I'd like to issue an apology for our aborent behavior.

Dr. Director: It's alright, Agent Becker, but there's been a development or two in this case. Would you hold on for just a second while I confir with our esteemed colleauges, please?

E.T.: (looking as puzzled as hell) O...kay, I guess it wouldn't hurt.

Dr. Director: Thank you very much.

With that, she temporarily disconnected the line, and had a pow-wow with Wade and the random agent, I'm thinking of naming him Fred. I mean, he looks like a Fred to me.

Dr. Director: Okay, you two, we need to decide which one of the three of us will tell Agent Becker about the E.E.T. system and Agent Bartlett's murder.

Wade: Not it!

Fred: Not it!

Dr. Director: Fuck you, Fred!

When Auntie Betty came back on the line, she wore a look of worry on her face, wondering if what she has to tell me will turn me into a vengeful, psychopathic killer or not.

Dr. Director: Sorry about that, Agent Becker, but there's a couple things that you should know. First thing is that the invaders and escapees were able to utilize the emergency escape tunnel system, and that they were able to plunder the armory without much resistance. Right now we've managed to get all Non-G.J. residents to the emergency shelters, but if these ten individuals are as intelligent as we fear them to be, they'll target the shelters and kill everyone there.

E.T.: Okay, what's the second thing?

Dr. Director: (takes a deep breath and sighs) It's about Agent Bartlett, she and her team were intercepted by Camille and her goons. The three newbies were killed on the spot, but poor Rhonda got tortured, raped, and killed.

E.T.: (going with my vengeful tone of voice) Those monsters won't live to see the light of another day, because as of now, shit got personal.

Dr. Director: Woah there, cowboy, I don't need one of the best damned agents that I ever had going on a crusade of vengeance.

E.T.: No offense, Auntie Betty, but those bastards deserve it after what they did to "Big Sister Rhonda" and her team, and to quote a famous bible passage, "the path of the righteous is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of the wicked, and those who in the name of charity and good will, shepards the innocent and the weak through the valley of darkness are truly blessed, for they are their brother's keeper, and the leader of the lost children, and who so ever poisons my brother will be struck down with great wrath and furious anger, and they will know that my name is Edward Thurston Becker, an instrument of God's judgement, when I lay my vengeance upon them."

It is at that moment that I break the connection and shut my BeckerCom closed, leaving Auntie Betty and the others stunned and in awe.

Dr. Director: (looks up to the ceiling) Why couldn't you be a woman, God, am I being punished?

Motor Pool, "The Village"

As Duff had expertly landed the limo, we all had girded our loins and prepared for the situation ahead of us. To say that I was pissed off would be a gross understatement, because I was ready to raise some holy Cain on those creeps, and I wouldn't be taking any prisoners this day.

E.T.: (in an official tone of voice) Alright, new plan, there's an emergency escape tunnel inside my personal quarters, and I want you, Justine, to take it. It's gonna take you all the way to the emergency shelters, so I need you and "Old man Tobey" to make like bananas and split. I don't want any civilians getting hurt or worse today.

Justine: But I don't wanna leave you at the mercy of those barbarians, they could possibly hurt you too, or worse, they could even kill you. It would just tear me up inside if anything horrible happened to you.

Ron: We all know that E.T.'s your dreamboat and all, but he'll have me, Kimila, and Takeshi-san watching his back, front, and even side-to-side.

Kim: You can count on the three of us to bring him back with minimal damage at best, none if we're fortunate enough.

Duff: Well, what about me, Becker my lad?

E.T.: Duff, you'll stay with the limo, and if we don't meet you back here, or if you don't hear from us, then you make a run for it until you get topside. Once you're out of our airspace, you'll contact the Global Militia and give them the location of "The Village", then give them the confirmation code, "alpha charlie niner tango foxtrot fiver." This will identify you as someone working under the direct authority of Auntie Betty, and a member of Global Justice.

Tobei: Now that we've got all that outta the way, let's hit that ol' dusty trail, pilgrims.

Justine: Before we go, Eddie, I want to give something for the battle ahead.

E.T.: What's that, babe?

Justine: (while wrapping her arms around my neck) A little bit of luck.

No sooner than when she gave me that answer did she pull me in for a French kiss that left me weak in the knees, and took the very breath from my lungs. Lord, I'm definitely getting laid tonight. After a couple of minutes, we break apart and rejoin the others so we can begin the most challenging mission that we've ever had.

The Civilian Barracks, "The Village"

When we all made it to my personal quarters, we took into notice of all the other quarters that had been left unguarded, making it easy for our enemies to attack us from any side. So we got through the door as quickly as possible, and locked up tighter than a nun's knees. In my living room, the others were checking out my Transformers collection, along with various action figures from anime/tokusatsu shows and movies. Then, they came across weapons that I had been working hard on, weapons such as the plasma energy pistol, and the plasma wave saber and daggers. I've tested them to the tenth degree and they work like charms, but I haven't found the beta testers to help utilize them in real life scenarios. Another nifty gadget I had been working on is the plasma energy shield generator belt, which encompasses it's wearer and the surrounding radius in a bubble of plasma energy, when the belt buckle's been activated of course.

E.T.: Alright, people, make yourselves at home, and help yourselves to whatever's in the fridge. I'll do a parameter check of all the other rooms here, but first, I gotta take a leak.

Tobei: Thank ya' kindly pilgrim, we'll wait for ya' out here.

Ron: Hey, E.T., what about all these Star Wars inspired weapons, are they some sort of experiment or what?

E.T.: Oh, those are just some prototypes that I've been working on for G.J., they're currently awaiting beta testing, but maybe you and Kim can use them if you want.

Kim: Well, we really don't want to impose on you.

E.T.: Nonsense, you'll actually help me out a bit.

Ron: Well, if you insist, but we'll only use them in emergency sitches if you don't mind.

E.T.: I wouldn't have it any other way, Ron, just be careful with them, they are my babies after all.

Kim: So not the drama, E.T., we'll be gentle with them, and make sure that they don't fall into evil hands. Now, where's that emergency tunnel?

E.T.: It's in my bedroom, behind the secret exit that doubles as a bookcase for all of my manga and comics. I'll go and check on it to make sure everything's on the level.

Once I left the living room, I went into my bedroom to check the emergency escape tunnel in my quarters. Upon entering the room, I proceed to pull a large colored manga entitled "Fist of the North Star: Master Edition" off the shelf by it's spine, only for it to trigger the opening of a secret exit. When I had looked at the other end of the tunnel, I had noticed that the escapees and their compatriots were heading up to my place, and rather than waiting to see if they noticed me, I closed the secret door, barricaded it, and locked it from the outside. I then doubled back to the living room, where all of the others were waiting for the good news, only thing is it wasn't coming.

E.T.: Okay, gang, I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that the enemy had found out about my emergency escape tunnel and have taken it over, but the good news is that I had already closed it off.

Justine: (with fear and terror in her voice) You mean we're trapped here with no way to the shelters?

E.T.: Actually, there's still the emergency tunnel in the Bueno Nacho of the food court, if we hurry, then we can get to it before the opposition can capitalize on it.

Ron: (sighing in relief) I always knew that Bueno Nacho would save an innocent life or two.

Takeshi: Well what are we waiting for, let's head down there on the double.

Kim: You took the words right out of my mouth, Prof. Hongo.

Tobei: She's right, let's get this wagon train rolling before these Shocker shitheads go all Comanchero on us.

With that, the whole lot of us made a bee line for the food court to score some munchage of mondo proportions, and a safe way to the shelters for at least two members in our party. Meanwhile, in my private escape tunnel, the fugitives were shocked to learn that I had set up the cock block on them. Needless to say, they were extremely pissed.

Robert: (in all impatient impertinence) Just what the fuck's taking you so long, you Neo-Nazi fag? We gotta get outta here at least before the war's over.

Ty: (grunting while trying to break through the barricade) I don't think we're going anywhere, because your psychotic big brother had barricaded us in, and cut off our only way into the civvie barracks, you thick, retarded, fucking, fat cunt.

Robert: DON'T CALL ME FAT, YOU ARYAN ASSHOLE!

Ty: (drawing a Walther P-38 in rage) That's it, Jew lover, you, your mud friends, and your mother are fucking dead once I've killed your brother!

Just then, Babs and her two sons drew their Uzis out on Ty in clear and present defence of my brother, and defiance towards the former G.J. agent's hateful mannerisms. This left Ty in a precarious position, forcing him to turn to Will Du for salvation and assistance.

Ty: Hey, Chink, you wanna back me up here? This Hebrew National lynch mob is giving me the goddamned heebie-jeebies, man.

Du: (in a sarcastic manner) Oh sure, you Aryan cunt bag, just let me pencil you in for the fifth of never, because my calendar is full right about now.

Ty: (seething with rage) When we get back to Shocker Headquarters, my first request will be to kill you myself, with my own bare hands.

Eugene: That's only if you make it out of this alive and intact.

Camille: (in a frustrated tone) That's enough, all of you, don't forget that me and my team are in the same boat you are, so dump the hormones and get your shit together. Now, Du, is there another way to get out of the tunnels?

Du: Yeah, there's another portal going to the emergency shelters.

Camille: Really, where's it at?

Du: It's located at the Bueno Nacho vendor in the food court, if we hurry, then maybe we can either catch up with them, or head them off at the pass.

Robert: Well what the fuck are we waiting for? Let's jam on over and grab a Naco while we pounce on those losers.

With that, the vile hethens made their way into the catacombs of emergncy tunnels that lead all the way to the shelters. Their goal was to capture everyone within my party, and to enact vicious and barbaric exhibitions of brutal vengeance against each of us.

Food Court, "The Village"

When we got to the emergency escape hatch hidden in the Bueno Nacho vendor, the whole lot of us were still very much on edge, so we decided to do an escort mission and make sure that Takeshi's best friend and my girlfriend get to the shelters safely and soundly. It was the least we could do for them, and it made me feel even more at ease to know Justine was under our protection, especially in this specific situation. No sooner than when we reached half way to the shelters did I catch sight of our pursuers, and this lead me to make a difficult decision for any G.J. agent to make. Sometimes the need of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or of the one.

E.T.: Kim, Ron, you and Prof. Hongo get Justine and Tachibana-san to the shelters, I'll hold these bozos off for as long as I can.

Justine: (with tearful concern for me) Eddie, no, they'll kill you on sight if they get closer.

E.T.: Don't worry, Babe, Ron's not the only one with access to a mystical sword of unmatched power y'know.

Ron: What do you mean, E.T.?

E.T.: The sword I now carry is the same one used by Himura Kenshin, the founder of Himura-ryu Battoujutsu, and slayer of the demonic Aku-tetsumi no gundan that threatened the world in the Meiji era of Japan. It was the same sword that was crafted by the last of the Muramasa family when Kamiya Kaoru, Kenshin's second wife, was murdered by Yasunori Kato's very own daughter, Tomoe, of whom was married to Kenshin, then divorced by him when her dark intentions were brought to light.

Upon hearing this, Ron had just went into shock and awe with his mouth agape. He alone knew what I was talking about.

Kim: What is E.T. talking about, Ron?

Ron: Master Sensei told me about such a sword once, Kim. The last I heard of it was that it was left in the care of the head of the Pittsburgh branch of the Kamiya-Do Kenjutsu Academy.

E.T.: It is a sword that was at one time or another looked upon with only revilement, but during the second coming of Amakusa Shiro Tokisada, was the instrument of salvation used by the legendary Yagyu Jubei. This is the Muramasa no Battousai, the Demon Slayer, an apt title for a weapon used to kill inhuman cretins like these assholes.

Takeshi: You sure you're gonna be okay on your own, Becker-san?

E.T.: Positive, now all of you get outta here while I'll keep them busy.

Tobei: Alright, E.T., ganbatte yo (good luck)! Come on, Flanner-chan, this could get ten kinds of ugly in Dodge City.

E.T.: Yoshi, ima wo, saa yuke, hayaku wo hashire! (You got it, now, go, run as far as you can!)

As my comrades left, I heard my girl cry out and yell to me that she loves me, and doesn't want me to go up against these fiends as she was wisked off to safety. However, I can't think about the heart that I'll potentially break if I die at the moment, right now, it's payback time. Alright, E.T. old boy, it's time to prove to the world what you're made of, time to show them that you're worth a damn. As I turned to see what was behind me, I caught a glance of these ten fugitives who were all armed to the teeth, all of whom were primed to kill me. Well, I guess they're drawing closer to me, so we'll see just who'll live and who'll die in a little bit. Here they come now, Justine, in case I don't make it out alive, I want you to know that I love you. In one lightning quick movement, I draw both of my guns out, and then I prepare to do battle with the enemies before me. Right now a righteous Fort Minor tune would set this up right, because I feel like Gandalf the Gray facing off against the Balrog right about now.

_**("Remember the name": By Fort Minor)**_

Domo arigatou gouzaimasu!

Ty: Well, well, well, if it ain't the brave little samurai. It's been a long time since I last saw you.

E.T.: (while I twirl my guns) Not long enough in my book, Mr. Clean, the last I saw of you was when you and "Li'l Willy Du" had become lovers who entered into a committed relationship.

Robert: (starts laughing his ass off) Oh snap, E.T. got you there, guys!

E.T.& Ty: (in a rivalrous unison) Shut up, Bob!

Robert: (in a mock Brooklyn accent) Yeah yeah, alright, shut up, Bob.

E.T.: Let's cut the bullshit and get straight to the point, just what the hell are you after anyways, a pound of butt hurt each from the full case of whoop-ass that I'mma unload on all of yins?

Du: Actually, we were after the expiremental Shocker-roid that Team Possible stole from Kaiser Draculoid, but we've just found out that you got a girlfriend of your very own. Is she by any chance from the Eisner School for the Mentally Retarded?

I just merely didn't answer that jerk's question with a verbal response, pointed one of my guns at Du's right arm, pulled on the trigger and fired away. The end result was Will Du falling down onto his knees, screaming in pain and yelling out enough onscenities to make a sailor blush.

E.T.: (in a mercilous tone) Walk it off, Dookie Boy, and consider yourself lucky, because if anyone insults my girl, Justine, again, the next shot will be a headshot.

Ty: That's pretty big talk coming from an overgrown nerd like you, now step aside so we can finish the chase and punish Team Possible for their sinful crimes against us and the newly ressurected third reich.

E.T.: There's only two problems with what you've just said right there. First off, wouldn't this newly ressurected third reich count as a fourth reich in all actuality? Secondly, there's the fact that I'm wasting my time entertaining ten shitty assholes much like yourseleves, when I could actually spend it wisely by doing something a lot more dangerous and at the same time equally productive, like rearranging my D.V.D. collection.

Camille: You must think you've got walnut sized balls of steel to insult us like that, now move out of our fucking way, and maybe, just maybe, we'll even let your bitch go home all intact.

E.T.: Normally, this samurai is chivalrous in life as well in battle, but if you threaten the people I love or care about, I'll gladly snap your fucking neck in two, bitch.

Shawn: You seem to forget who's got more firepower than you do, and in essence who the bosses are around here, so step aside and we'll let you and your girlfriend go and live happily ever after. If you don't, we'll kill you, and when we catch up with Team Possible, we'll trick your girlfriend out as well as Kim, just like the fucking whores they are.

With that, I snap kicked Ron's bastard cousin from hell dead on his nose, showing that I tolerated neither his threat nor his disrespectful behavior and foul language. He fell over backwards with his nose bleeding profusely, then got right back up again, holding his nose to stop the bleeding.

Shawn: By node, you son ob a bish, Bommy, gig hid add.

Babs: (while trying to attack me in a blind rage) YOU BROKE MY BABY'S NOSE, YOU GENTILE BASTARD!

As Barbara Stoppable attempted to throw a punch at me, I simply performed an inside cresent kick to her left temple, the force of which had rendered her unconcious. After that, I turned my sights on Eugene, who looked at my eyes and saw the look of determined aggression within them. It told him that I would destroy anyone who threatened the people I treasured the most, and if God himself was one of those shitheads, I'd even grapple with the almighty.

E.T.: Your move, Sparky, what's it gonna be?

Eugene: (with his fear visibly showing on his face) Fuck this, I just wanna get the hell outta here.

E.T.: (taking the Tatsumaki Senpuu-kyakku stance) Sorry, Cochise, but it ain't happening, now Simon says take a nap.

Thusly I performed a vacuum tornado kick on him, which struck him seventeen times in the head, the force of each blow would've stunned a man for a couple of hours. Once I had finished, he went into a coma brought on by blunt force trauma. This left only my brother, my brother-in-law, and the four aforementioned intruders. Four down, six to go.

Ty: This is your last chance to join our side and achieve greatness, E.T., take it or die along with the other betrayers to history in the making. We could be quite the team, you and I, but if you die here and now because of your persistance in holding on to the false ideal ofall races being equal, I guarantee that you'll die a fool along with your friends. Don't worry though, me, Camille, and the boys from Team Impossible promise to show Kim and your girlfriend a good time before they share your fate.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, at least for me it was, so that's when I decided to take as many of these shit for brains felchers out as possible through a hail of gunfire and sheer berserker's rage. As they began to laugh heartily at the thought of raping both my girlfriend and Ron's fiance, I leapt up and over them, firing my guns as I did a somersault over their heads. Though I didn't hit any of them, the shots fired had scattered them easily, and I had landed inthe middle of their small circle. Burn from Team Impossible was the first to attack by trying for a bear hug from behind, but without even turning to look, I lifted my right elbow up with gun in hand and fired a round to his left shoulder. The result was another ear piercing scream of pain, but I didn't have time to revel in it, because Crash had pulled out a knife in his right hand. As he attacked, I pivoted on my right foot, looped my left leg around his right arm to deflect it, and shot out both of his shoulders and both of his hips to immobilize him. Dash and Robert then surrounded me on either side, and pulled out their Uzis, but as they fired, I flipped out of the way. The two idiots ended up shooting each others guns out of their hands, and when they turned to look at me, I jumped up and did an aerial split kick which left them stunned. I then looped my right arm around Dash's left arm, torqued it till it broke, and side kicked my brother in the head before shoulder tossing Dash onto him. The two of them were on the floor in a hilariously embarressing position while in a state of unconciousness, where Dash was on top of Ol' Lunchbox, and it looked like they were in a Yaoi situation. For those who don't know what Yaoi is, it's where two men, or boys for that matter, end up falling in love with one another, and the rest is pretty much self explanitory. In other words, think Brokeback Mountain.

E.T.: (in a humorous huberous) Homosexual Neo-Nazis, now that's progress, although I personally think Dash can do better than my little brother.

Camille: (in a mix between pure shock and unbridled rage) You arrogant G.J. dog, you!

Camille Leon was next to attack me, but her attacks were either blocked, countered, deflected, or evaded by me, mainly because she was unfocused and attacking out of anger. None of her attacks connected, but when she threw one last punch to my head, I ducked and struck her in what the Japanese call "The Rinkodan Jewels". If you need me to elaborate, I hit her in the ovaries. Once she totally keeled over, sobbing in pain, it was down to me and the kwijibo. When I started looming towards him, he started sweating like a pig under the hot, summer sun in the month of July. He began to slowly back away from me and wore a look of complete terror on his smarmy face, and my face wore a look of completely sadistic pleasure, a match made in heaven. I kept slowly inching my way forward as he backed himself up against the wall, but as this was going on, Shawn had grabbed an Uzi and pointed it at my back. I was just too busy and overconfident to notice.

Ty: Now take it easy, E.T., you proved your point, I'll turn myself in. I swear I will, just please don't kill me.

E.T.: Save it for someone who gives a flying fuck, because nobody threatens my girl, Justine, like that, and lives to tell about it. After I take care of you, I'll dispense with punishing Camille Leon and Team Impossible for their crimes against my adoptive big sister and fellow Global Justice agent, Rhonda Bartlett.

Ty then saw foolish little Shawn take aim with his Uzi right behind me, and decided to stall for time while I was distracted.

Ty: So, E.T., I heard that you've got not only got yourself a girlfriend, but also a promotion to senior agent. That's great, man, congratulations!

E.T.: Thank you, Mr. Michaels, in return of your recent turn towards contrician, I shall grant you a quick and painless death. To further my mercy, I'll finish you off in the ways according to the samurai of the Sengoku Jidai, and behead you right where you stand.

With that, I holstered my guns before continuing my sportsman like conduct in this sitch, meanwhile, Shawn was about to fire away till Ty signaled to him to hold his fire for the time being.

E.T.: (while preparing to unsheath my sword) Would you like a cigarette, a blindfold, and one last request before I slay you here and now, perhaps even, to quote some final words before you die?

Ty: Fuck the cigarettes because smoking is a nasty habit, and piss on the blindfold because I'm afraid of the dark.

E.T.: Well then, do you have a last request?

Ty: I have one and only one, please don't kill me, just arrest me.

E.T.: Sorry, Charlie, but no can do, you and Will Du have proven to be too dangerous, and the only possible way to salvage this sitch, other than wiping your memories totally clean, is to eliminate the liabilities to our operations. I will, however, bring in the Stoppables, but only because they're harmless and inept as criminals. Now, do you have any last words?

Ty: Yeah, your Mom's right behind you.

E.T.: (while turning to look behind me) What the...?!

With that, Shawn let loose a volley of uzi shells, making me feel like Peter Weller in the beginning of Robocop, and forcing me to scream out in pain. Once he emptied the clip into my prone body, I fell to the floor face up, too weak to fight back from my injuries. The last things that I hear is Ty gloating over his supossed victory agaimst me, and his praises to Shawn Stoppable.

Ty: Psyche, made you look, you fucking nerd! As for you, Shawn, I'll make one hell of an Aryan soldier out of you yet, now wake up everyone that isn't injured severely, we've got a village to plunder, Sieg Heil.

Oh man, did I ever fuck the dog in the ass on this one, I got a little too overconfident, now everybody that's counting on me is in the shits because of my screw up. I've let you down, father, and I let everyone else down, I'm so sorry. Kim, Ron, it looks like you're on your own. Tobei-san, I guess I'm heading up to that big rodeo in the sky. Takeshi-kun, it's your turn to be the hero now. Oh, and Justine, I'll always love you, no matter what. I'm sorry, everybody, this is all my fault. All of a sudden as I start to drift into the dreamless sleep, I hear another voice inside of me, telling me to get back up. Saying to me that I can't, no, scratch that, I won't give up, and that he'll give me even greater power and heal my wounds. Whoever brought the two of us together, be they God or Satan himself, they have my thanks.

I'm gonna stop here and take a break, after all, this is now officially the longest chapter i've ever written. I'd like to thank temporaryinsanity91 for their honorable mention of my fan fiction, Imyoshi for his continued support, and levi2000a1 for his insight, along with the good people who were kind enough to nominate my fan fiction for a Fannie. Even though I'm not sure what category, if any, that I had won, but the nomination made my day for me. Thanks for your support, guys, you know who you are ;). As for this chapter, I added some references to the Police Acadmey movies, Ian Fleming's 007, Wayne's World featuring Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey, and old school Chuck Norris flicks, as well as Futaroh Yamada's Makai Tensho. If you don't know what Makai Tensho is, watch either Samurai Ressurection, Reborn From Hell: Samurai Armageddon, Ninja Ressurection, or Samurai Reincarnation. Any of those are totally awesome for reference, and are fully sweet entertainment to watch. Well, before I leave you all, I'd like to wish all of you out there the best of luck in your endeavors, and to let you know that I'll be having a birthday this coming July. So if anyone wants to do a tribute type fan fiction of my story, or send me some awesome artwork to coincide with the events, actions, or characters of my story, please ask permission first and send me links to them. I'd better go now, this old dog is getting long in the tooth, and I need to write Chapter 11, so sayonara, and vaya con dios, muchachos y muchachas.


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